Lesson video

Hi, welcome back.

My name is Ms. Waddell.

I am teaching you this Aladdin unit and we are on the fourth lesson now.

We're going to be using our senses to generate ideas for writing and to watch some of the clip, and we're going to use our senses to think about how to make our writing really vivid and strong so our reader can really picture it.

Let's get going.

Okay, let's look at the order that our lesson will take.

First thing, we're going to retail the opening so that we remember what happens and where.

Then we're going to watch the opening again to re-familiarize ourselves, to get used to what happens again, then we're going to analyse the opening, thinking about our senses, then we're going to write a star sentence.

This is what you will need in the lesson today.

I would like you to find some paper or use your exercise book, a pencil and definitely have your brain switched on, I know it's in there, but it needs to be switched on.

If you don't have these things, pause the video now and just go and get them.

So the other thing just before we start, is I want you to make sure you don't have anything or as little as possible that distracts you.

So make sure that your phone is away or if you're using your phone, obviously carry on using your phone for the lesson, but if the telly's on, see if you can turn it off or face the wall so that you're less likely to be distracted by things around you.

So let's have a look at our warmup.

Here we have a sentence that I wrote.

What do you think? Is it a good one? Is it a medium one? Or is it a not so good one? Have a look.

One night, two men met in the desert.

Are we happy with that? Give me a thumbs up if you think, uh-hu.

Hmm-hmm, yeah, not so good.

Not too bad though, I mean, don't be too tough on me.

Let's see how we could improve it.

I think I've done some things right.

Yeah, I've got a capital letter at the start, I've got a coma after my fronted adverbial, what did I miss? I forgot my full stop at the end.

It all falls down if we don't have a full stop at the end, 'cause our reader gets so confused.

Let's see if we can make it a little bit better.

Pause the video and see what you could put where I've put the gap.

One hm night, two men met in the desert, full-stop.

One hm night, how would you describe the night? Okay, now tell me? One? Great ideas, one moonlit night, that was a good one.

You could try, one moonlit night, two men met in the desert.

So we're describing what the night was like, one moonlit night.

Let's if we can make it even better.

We're going to keep stretching the sentence to improve it.

One moonlit night, comma, two hm men met in the desert.

What were they like? Two hm men.

Pause the video, say your full sentence with the word that you might put in that gap.

One moonlight night, two men met in the desert.

What would you put? And start again when you've said it out loud.

Whoa, that was another good suggestion.

One moonlit night, two shadowy, so they're like shadows, you can't really see them, you can't see the details, they're just shadows in the distance, you can see from that picture, met in the desert.

One moonlit night, we're going to keep stretching, one moonlit night, two shadowy men met in the something desert.

What would you put there? Pause and say a full sentence with the word that you would choose.

What would you choose for that desert? Think about what we were doing yesterday in our last lesson.

I've said vast desert, so here's our full sentence.

One moonlit night, comma, two shadowy men met in the vast desert.

So look at the first one.

We had one moonlight night, two men met in the desert.

I didn't have a capital letter, it didn't have a full stop, I didn't have any adjectives.

And look now, it really is vivid so your reader can picture it in their mind.

Fantastic work, well done.

All warmed up, brains are wiring, brains are wiring.

Let's go, we're going to retell the opening now just to remind ourselves what happened in the story.

Put these pictures in the correct order, it's going to be one minute.

3, 2, 1, pause the video for one minute.

Well remembered, EF.

So they met on the hillside then the sort of servant man tried to keep hold of the treasure but the Jafar who's the main character there, the parrot took it from him and then he put the two pieces together and then the scarab beetle whizzed off and it swooped around the sand dune and then that cave erupted.

So that's what's happened in our story and this is what we're basing our narrative on.

We're going to be writing the opening in a few lessons.

So we have had a look at the order.

I would like you just to pause and retell it to me so that I can hear it so you're really clear and you're saying it's allowed.

Pause the video now and retell it.

Okay, fantastic.

So here's our story mountain.

This tells us that things happen in a story.

They start with a lot of description and then the buildup gets a bit more exciting and then the climax is really exciting and then the resolution is a bit less exciting, but you need lots of interesting information in there.

So the opening, we need to set a scene.

We're going to be building up or we are building up to writing our opening now.

The opening needs to introduce the main characters, set the scene and grab your attention.

Do you remember that? Fantastic.

So we are going to be looking at how we can use the clip to draw on our senses, to build fantastic vocabulary that we can put when we start writing.

So what are these senses? Can you have a look? Can you shout them out? We've got few different clues there from the pictures.

What do you think they are? We have got sight, we have got hearing, we have got taste, we've got touch, oop, we've got smell and we've got feelings.

So feelings of what's inside, how we feel things inside.

We're going to be using just three of these today to help us with our writing.

We're going to be thinking about what we can see, what we can hear and what our characters might feel.

Let's have a look at these two pictures.

What can we see? We are going to watch the clip now.

and I want you to think about what you can see at the beginning of the clip and I want you to write it down in your book, you can just put a number one and just write some notes.

It might just say twinkling stars or big sand dune, just think about some really vivid vocabulary that you can use for what you can see in this clip.

Let's watch the clip now.

On a dark night.

When a dark man waits with a dark purpose.

Oh, that was a very atmospheric beginning that really made you feel that something interesting or magical is about to happen.

Let's think about how they do that.

First of all, we're going to think about what we can see.

That was a shortened clip 'cause I want to really focus in on the bit, right, right, right at the beginning, because the first bit of writing we're going to do is a of our opening setting.

So let's think about what can we see here? I want you to pause the video and write down anything that you can see right at the beginning.

Think about how you can use an adjective, twinkling stars or dark room.

Think about writing down some really strong, vivid description.

It doesn't need to be full sentences, you can just write it down a line, put number one and just put some of your ideas of what you can see in this first picture.

Pause the video now.

Okay, now I want you to tell me some of your ideas, say it aloud, read out the ones that you've written, ready, steady, go.

Hmm, really, really vivid description, well done.

So let's have a look at some of those, see if they have come up in what I've written or see if there's some other brilliant ideas that you can copy down.

Ready? Let's have a look.

There's a dark sky, definitely a dark sky or you could call it an inky sky 'cause it's dark like dark ink, stars glistened, yep, that's a good idea.

Moon-cast shadows, so you can see on the top of the sand dune there, you can see the shadows of the horses and that must be from the moon because it's at night and sometimes when the moon is very light, it casts shadows, so that's quite atmospheric.

The still sand, so it's still until the horse comes galloping up, isn't it? Vast desert, so vast is really big and you can see it goes on for a very long time.

Shadowy figures, so we can't see the details, they're in shadow, so they're shadowy figures, okay.

Colossal sand dune.

So we've got that colossal is really, really big and they're standing on a colossal sand dune.

So write down any of those, maybe three that you think are really strong and that you'd like to get into your writing.

Maybe one about the sky, one about the stars and one about the sand or the sand dune.

So three ideas, I want you to write them down now to add to your brilliant ones that you've done already.

Off you go.

So we want to look up what we can see in this picture, in this bit of the clip.

I want you to pause, write it down.

What can you see? You can see there's a dog, there's a shadow or silhouetted man on a horse and then there's another guy.

What's he like? How would we describe him? We want to turn these images into really strong words and then I want you to say them to the screen for me when you're ready.

Just a couple of minutes, pause the video.

Okay, let's see what you got.

A tall man, yup.

There was a tall man so the tall man is sitting on the horse.

The tall man sat on the horse, or the shadowy man sat on the horse, or the imposing silhouette, that is a strong one.

So imposing is like taking a lot of the intention, it's making itself really known and a silhouette is like an outline in shadow.

So when you can't see someone in detail, sometimes there's a light behind them, that's called a silhouette.

So you could describe the man on the horse as an imposing silhouette.

My turn, imposing silhouette.

You turn, great.

A mysterious figure waiting.

Do you want to try that as well? A mysterious figure waiting, my turn, your turn, great.

On a dark horse, yeah and then there's a ragged man.

You can see that the man who's standing, who jumps off his horse.

A ragged man and he's ragged because he's got sort of rips in his clothes and his hair's all messed up, you describe that as ragged.

My turn, ragged.

Your turn, great.

A fat man.

Hmm, so he is a bit portly, but we wouldn't really describe him as a fat man.

Let's see if we can find an alternative to fat man, squat man.

So that squat means he's kind of short and maybe a little wide, but we don't really describe someone as being fat in that situation so we might describe him as a squat man.

My turn, squat.

Your turn, fantastic.

Okay, write down three ideas from here, three ideas, maybe something to do with the first man, maybe something to do with the horse and maybe something to do with the second man.

Pause the video and write down three to add to yours already.

Okay, now we're going to be thinking about what we can hear.

I want you to close your eyes when we watch the clip and just think about what you can hear right at the beginning and then write down what it is you can hear.

Close your eyes and I'll play the clip.

Keep them closed 'cause you'll be able to hear more if your eyes aren't watching at the same time.

On a dark night.

When a dark man waits with a dark purpose.

Okay, just put a number two next to any of the notes that you've made to do with hearing.

Just jot down any last few that you can think of that you couldn't write down at the same time 'cause your eyes were closed so just write down any that you thought of that you could hear as you were listening to that.

Pause the video now.

Okay, now tell it to the screen.

Tell me some of your brilliant ideas.

What could you hear? I'm going to listen carefully now.

Great ideas, really fantastic.

You are concentrating very hard today, well done.

So let's have a look at what some of those are.

We could share some of the ideas that you just gave me.

The hooves galloped, yeah.

So I've got my verb in the past tense 'cause when we're writing a story, we write with our verbs in the past tense.

The horse sighed, yeah, I heard that too.

The crunching sand, that's nice because as the horse galloped up, you could just hear the kind of crunching sand as he was moving up the sand dune.

And reins clinked, oh, that's a nice one.

So the reins are the bit that you hold onto on a horse and sometimes there are bits of metal that bash together.

So when a horse is going fast, you're holding on tight and sometimes those bits of metal clink together so you could say something about the reins clinking.

So the reins clinked, that's a nice idea.

Okay, let's just go back to that one.

I just want you to jot down any of those ideas so pause and write down any of those ideas that you would like to use.

Maybe write down two.

Okay, now this picture, what can we hear? So we're getting closer into some of the characters.

I want you to pause and write down anything that you could hear at this point.

So we don't want to get into what they're saying to each other, but did you hear anything at this point? It's getting a little bit more tricky now.

Pause and write it down fast and then we'll have a think about some of your ideas.

Okay, tell me some of your ideas.

Really good, I didn't think of lots of those, that's fantastic.

Couldn't quite hear all of them, but you've got them in your book so that's super useful for you.

Right, let's have a look at what they were.

Whispered, nice.

Growled, good.

Hushed voices, lovely and grovelled.

So let's first think about hushed voices.

Hushed is when you talk, but it's very low 'cause you don't want other people to hear.

so sometimes you might whisper a secret, but sometimes it's very exciting and you're still saying it in hushed voices, because you don't want someone to hear but it's not quite as soft as whisper which is more like this.

So hushed might be a bit exciting, but low and grovelled is kind of like, oh, please, I wish master, you would give me everything you have.

It's kind of a bit like, oh, you're amazing.

It's kind of begging a little bit but with your voice kind of a bit pathetic and like you really want the other person to think that you're amazing.

So if you're grovelling, you're kind of begging or pleading, but using your voice.

And growled, we know growled is like a dog.

So hushed voices, your turn.

Grovelled, lovely.

Okay, so write down any of those that you like the idea of.

Now, let's think about how the characters feel.

So how does the shadowy man feel? Does he feel impatient or does he feel relaxed? What do you think? Impatient or relaxed? Impatient, so impatient is when you want something to happen and you feel like you really can't wait.

Like maybe when you're going to given something really nice for your birthday or when your friend is coming around to play or something super nice, that's when you're feeling impatient, you want it to happen now.

How does the squat man feel? So squat was that kind of short and little bit fat.

Calm or excited? Do you think he's really relaxed or do you think he's quite excited 'cause he thinks he's going to get lots of exciting things and lots of treasure too? Is he calm or is he excited? What do you think? Point to it.

Yes, he's excited.

He's probably pretty greedy and he's thinking that he's going to get very rich.

So now we're going to write a star sentence together and we're going to build it together using the vocabulary that we've had from our senses.

We're going to write a complex sentence.

So you know from our lessons on complex and compound sentences, that when you have a complex sentence, you have a main clause and you have a subordinate clause.

So here we're going to have our subordinate clause second and we've got a subordinating conjunction, waiting to use.

So have a little think, what might you write? Pause the video and I want you to have a go at writing a complex sentence using some of that vocabulary that we just used, that we just gathered.

The something, something, something as the, something, something, something.

See what you could find, pause and give it a go, writing a sentence.

So now let's have a try at building one together.

We're going to build a little bit and then I'd like you to have another go.

So I'm going to start with the stars glistened, these are my notes or the notes that we gathered together actually, to be fair, I need to give you some credit here.

So the stars glistened.

The stars glistened in the, let's stretch it a bit more, the stars glistened in the? Can you have a go at writing it down? Pause and try and finish that one for me.

The stars glistened in the, pause now.

The stars glistened in the dark sky, could be, or inky sky.

What will you choose? Okay, the stars glistened in the inky sky as, okay I want you to pause in a moment and say your sentence with this beginning, so start a new line, the stars glistened in the inky sky as, and I want you to finish the last bit.

So it's right at the beginning as, and then finish the sentence and then I want you to read it and I want you to look carefully and I want you to check it so make sure you make corrections.

It helps if you say your sentence first.

All right, this is how I'm going to build the end of the sentence.

I now look back at my notes and I'm going to either choose, the stars glistened as the moon cast shadows, or as the shadowy figures, one of those two I'm going to use.

Stars glistened in the inky sky, as two shadowy figures met in the vast desert.

So that's my one.

Let's just check it's all right.

We've got our capital letter at the beginning and then we've got a nice vivid verb, glistened in the inky sky, so we've got that adjective to describe the sky, as, our subordinating conjunction, two shadowy, so that describes the figures, an adjective describing the figures, met in the vast, another strong adjective, desert, and we've got full stop at the end.

So you could also have used your sound words, which would be a really strong also.

Stars glistened in the inky sky as the sound of horses hooves in the vast desert grew louder.

So I would like you to choose one of those sentences and just write it down as an example.

I'm sure you've got a brilliant one about it, but write down one of these as an example that you might be able to use later in your writing, fantastic.

Congratulations, so we finished this lesson that was of using senses to build up our vocabulary, to help writing our opening to Aladdin.

You've done really well, you've thought really carefully and you've also got some fantastic vocabulary, all ready for when you start writing.

If you'd like to, please share your work with someone at home, parent or carer or a sibling or whoever is looking after you, to show them what brilliant, brilliant work you've been doing, well done.