Lesson video

Hi again, it's me, Ms. Waddell, your resident dancing bear for the day.

I am teaching you about writing a opening.

I'm actually a teacher.

And we are going to be writing together a bit and then you are going to write your opening, using all of the brilliant, brilliant vocabulary that we've gathered in the last few lessons.

Let's get going.

In today's lesson, we're going to do a writing warmup.

We're going to recap our plan and have a little look at our notes.

And then we're going to do a shared write together.

In this lesson, you will need paper or your exercise book, a pencil, and your notes that we made in previous lessons, 'cause that's really going to help your writing.

If you haven't got those things, go off and get them now.

And pause the video.

Okay, the other thing I want you to do is just make sure you're as distraction-free as you can be, so phone away, if it's not one you're using, or telly off or just face a direction that you don't think things will distract you from.

See if you can readjust yourself now, pause the video.

Okay, so first we're going to do a writing warmup.

Here we have some prepositions of place.

In a moment, I would like you to pause the video and have a think about which of these we might use in our writing today.

It's not an absolute thing, but which ones do you think might be useful that we could try and remember when we're writing? Pause the video now.

Okay, these are the ones that I thought might be useful.

Because we're going from the sky down to the characters, we might use below or under, because that's something that comes underneath.

We might use on top of the sand dune, or we might use beneath, beneath the stars, or in front of, maybe you can see in the picture there that the servant is standing in front of Jafar, we might use that one.

Well done for having a little think about that.

Now we're going to recap our plan.

I'm just going to show you some example pages from the lessons that we've had before, but I would like you to just have a look back at your notes and remember all the brilliant sentences and vocabulary that you have used that's going to help you with your writing today.

So for example, we are, well, this is just a reminder.

We're going to write the opening, the setting description in this lesson.

So what do we need it to do? We need it to set the scene.

We need it to introduce some of the main characters and we need it to grab your attention.

We're focusing on this bit right at the beginning.

And we're going from the sky down to the ground and to the characters.

Here's some examples of some of the notes I mentioned.

You've got some in your book as well, or on paper, just make sure you've got those to hand, 'cause it will make your writing so much easier.

And remember we did our senses work, where we looked at some of the sounds and the things that we can see.

And we also, well, you got some ready to go, have some star sentences that you could use in your writing if you want, or if you feel inspired, you could do some new ones.

But have a look, 'cause those will be really good ones.

You worked hard on those.

So now for our shared write.

I'm going to model some writing for you and then we'll edit it a little bit together and then it will be your turn to write.

So let's have a look at what we're going to write.

First of all, we need to make sure we include certain things to make it a really top banana piece of writing.

We need to describe the sky, then move down to the characters.

We know that, remember that.

We need to use powerful adjectives and vivid verbs, and we need to describe things really carefully.

And we need to think about exactly, precisely how things move or how things are done.

And I want you to start your sentences in different ways.

We've had good practise with that.

Also, we need to be careful about our punctuation and that it makes sense, because if it doesn't make sense, it's no fun for your reader to read at all.

We could do our two finger check, which is where you put one finger on the capital letter and one finger on your full stop.

We need to sound out our words to make sure all the sounds are there to help our reader obviously to read it.

We need to check the words are really there.

So often, if you don't say things aloud, you think a word is there, but it's not really.

And only include commas where you know what the rule is.

And we've been learning lots of those rules thus far.

So let's get going and do some writing together.

So there's my checklist in the top, that way.

I want you to help me check that I'm doing all the things that I said that we were going to do.

So I'm going to start my sentence with, hm, I'm going to start with a compact sentence, I think.

As, as, we're going to start in the sky, so as the something sky.

As the something sky, what could I use? Shout it out, as the? Look at your notes.

As the? Inky sky, okay.

As the inky sky darkened.

Full stop.

Then I'm going to say something about the stars.

So capital letter, the stars glimmered.

Ooh, I got to use my simile.

The stars glimmered.

Can you remember the simile? The stars glimmered like fireflies, yeah.

Like fireflies.

I think that one's a bit more interesting than the diamonds.

Like fireflies, full stop.

Just 'cause you don't hear it so often.

So as the inky sky darkened.

Hm, can you spot my mistake? I've got a complex sentence, but I've only got the subordinate clause in there, I haven't got the main clause.

As the sky darkened, I should have a, comma and then another part with another verb.

So as the sky darkened.

Let's say something about the moon.

As the sky darkened, comma the something moon, the, hm.

Let's check back in our notes.

What do you think it should be? The something, the, hm, glowing moon.

The glowing moon shone, there's my verb.

Brightly, nice adverb.

Shone brightly over the, where were we, the? Could use vast, a really big, the vast desert.

And full stop.

As the inky sky darkened, comma the glowing moon shone brightly over the vast desert, great.

The stars glimmered like fireflies.

I might just leave that sentence as it is.

The stars glimmered like fireflies, full stop.

So now I want to say something that takes us down to the earth.

Ah, below, below, that was one of our prepositions, below the cold sky, because it's quite cold in the desert, comma.

A shadowy figure, I like that one.

Waited, waited, let's say how he waited.

Waited, hmm, happily, waited, can you remember? Can you whisper, whisper, remind me.

What is it? Waited? Hmm, could be angrily, yeah, could be angrily.

Or it could also be impatiently.

And where did he wait impatiently? Below the cold sky, a shadowy figure waited impatiently on top of a steep sand dune.

Okay, so have we described the sky, number one? Have we used powerful adjectives and vivid verbs, number two? Have we started our sentences in different ways, number three? Have a read.

Do you think that I have done those things? And then we'll check together.

So here is what we wrote together.

Let's have a look to see whether we've done all the things we need to do.

I just want you to concentrate on the text, so that you're reading as I go.

As the inky sky darkened, comma the glowing moon shone brightly, full stop.

The stars glimmered like fireflies, full-stop.

Below the cold sky, comma a shadowy figure waited impatiently on top of a steep sand dune.

Let's look at the checklist.

Have I described? So the checklist over there, oh, over there.

Have I described the sky and then moved down to the characters? As the inky sky darkened, then the stars, next sentence, the stars glimmered and below, so I used one of my prepositions, below the cold sky, a shadowy figure, yes, I think I have.

Do you give me a thumbs up? Thanks.

Powerful adjectives and vivid verbs, can you spot them? Shout out an adjective.

Another one? Yep, inky, glowing, shadowy, steep.

Those are all really good adjectives.

And vivid verbs, you can see in what colour? In the green, that's right.

So I've got some powerful adjectives and I've got some vivid verbs.

Now do I start my sentences in different ways? First sentence is as the inky sky darkened, comma, that's a complex sentence.

And then the second sentence is, the stars glimmered, so that's a simple sentence.

And then the third sentence, below the cold sky, a shadowy figure.

What do you think? Thumbs up or thumbs down? Thanks, yeah, I think I've done all of those things.

Fantastic, okay, thank you so much for your help.

Let's see what's next.

Right, so we're going to do the next section and we're going to have the same checklist.

Let's do a shared write together, off we go.

Okay, so now we need to focus in on the characters, but we need to remember that in our last sentence, we only had one person sitting on the sand dune.

So now the second one's got to come and join him, second man, so we could just say something simple, like suddenly comma, a galloping horse rode to join the first.

We could say, suddenly, a galloping horse rode to join the first man.

Now we need to describe the second man 'cause we're focusing in.

You see the second picture down below, the second picture where we start to see him.

So we want to say something about maybe what he's wearing.

So a, we said it's better to say squat than fat.

So a squat man with raggedy clothes jumped off his horse and, let's do it a compound sentence.

And so he, he sort of stands below the other horse.

And so the other horse, what was that word? The new vocabulary.

When something's standing over you.

And, hm, so he stood and, stood with the other man.

What's that word, can you say it to me? When something's really high above you like a building? Looming, that's it, looming over him.

So we've said something about the second man arriving to join the first.

We said something about his clothes.

Now we need to say something I think a bit more about the man who's on the horse, because he's really a scary and powerful character.

I think he's an important character.

So we want to say something a bit more that tells us what kind of man he is.

So we know that he's more powerful as well 'cause he's kind of standing over.

So let's say something, oh, we had the horse's menacing eyes, didn't we? The scary eyes or the yellow eyes.

So let's say something about that.

The yellow eyes of the horse and the man seemed to pierce, which means break through, pierce his skin.

Well, it's not really, it's just a way of showing how powerful his eyes were.

They were so powerful that they're piercing into you.

A bit like that feeling if you might have told a little lie and someone you, someone, you think someone knows that you've told it, and the way they look at you, it's piercing 'cause they can penetrate, they can go into your skin, you feel.

It doesn't really, obviously, but you feel like it.

Pierce his skin in the darkness, full stop.

Let's read it.

Suddenly, a galloping, suddenly, a galloping horse rode to join the first man.

A squat man with raggedy clothes jumped off his horse and stood with the other man looming over him.

The yellow, ooh, did you spot it? What's missing? Suddenly, a galloping horse, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, looming over him, the yellow eyes of the horse and the man.

What did I forget? Can you whisper? A little louder.

Shout it.

Full stop, that's right.

A full stop and also a capital letter.

So we have to put that in, looming over him.

'Cause we're starting to talk about something else.

And then we need to make sure that we have a capital letter, the yellow eyes of the horse and the man seemed to pierce his skin in the darkness, right.

Suddenly, a galloping horse rode to join the first man.

A squat man with raggedy clothes jumped off his horse and stood with the other man looming over him.

The yellow eyes of the horse and the man seemed to pierce his skin in the darkness.

Have we described the sky and then moved down to the characters? So we've moved down to the characters now.

Let's check now whether we've got some powerful adjectives and vivid verbs and whether we have started our sentences in different ways.

Let's read the text together and check for powerful adjectives and vivid verbs.

So we've got a capital letter at the beginning.

Suddenly, so we've got a nice adverb at the beginning there.

Suddenly, comma, remember the comma afterwards, a galloping horse rode to join the first man, full stop.

A squat man, I've got nice adjective there to describe the man, with ragged clothes.

Ooh, that's good.

I've changed that 'cause I made a mistake when I wrote that, I wrote raggedy, I think, and it wasn't even a word.

So that was an edit.

Clothes, jumped, nice verb, off his horse and, hm, did you spot that too? When I wrote it, it said an and so I had to change it to and stood with the other man looming over him, full stop, capital letter.

The yellow eyes, good, of the horse and the man seemed to pierce, nice vivid verb there, his skin in the darkness, full stop.

So I've got some powerful adjectives and vivid verbs, for sure.

Have I got, have I started my sentences in different ways? Have a look.

Hmm, I think I have.

Suddenly, was my first sentence.

A squat man with ragged clothes, and that's a compound sentence.

And then I've got another compound sentence.

So I have.

I think if I was going to start my next sentence, I wouldn't use the again, just to be sure, to make sure I'm changing the way I start my sentences.

Thanks for your help.

Now it's your turn to write an opening setting description.

I want you to use the checklist that we've got.

I want you to remember to go from the sky down to the characters.

Want you to use your notes.

You can have a look down there, there's a little picture to make sure you use your notes, 'cause you've been working so, so hard to get lots of fantastic vocabulary in the sentences ready to just whoo onto the page.

Remember to say your sentence first, to write it down, to check it and then to edit it.

So pause the video and then resume once you've finished your writing.

Off you go, you can do it.

Okay, well done, fantastic concentration there.

I would like you to check your writing.

So first of all, make sure that it starts in the sky and moves down to the character.

Does it do that? If it does, give me a thumbs up.

If not, pause the video and just have an edit to make sure it's in the right order.

Okay, now check, go back to what you've written, does it have powerful adjectives and vivid verbs? Pause the video, read what you've written, give a tick to each adjective or vivid verb you have used.

And then come back to me.

Off you go.

Okay, so when you checked, maybe you realised that you didn't start your sentences in different ways.

So can you go back and edit and make sure you've maybe got a complex sentence starting with as? Have a look at your notes, 'cause you had a really good go at that before.

Or maybe you want to start with the, on one sentence, or an adverb with a comma on the next sentence.

Have a go, just to make sure, and when you've done it, come back to me.

Well done, so now you start your sentences, you've started your sentences in different ways.

Now I want you to make sure you go back and do your two finger check, which means putting one finger on your capital letters and one finger on your full stops.

Actually, one finger on your capital letters, one finger on your full stop, to make sure that each sentence has what it needs.

Sound out your words, make sure it's got all the sounds it needs.

Check they're really there.

Often if I don't read my work aloud, I think a word is there, but actually it sneaked off and it's somewhere else totally instead.

And I thought I'd written it down, but I haven't.

And make sure you only have a comma where you know the rules.

So that might be adjectives in lists.

That might be separating the clauses in a complex sentence.

That might be before, but or or, in a compound sentence.

Make sure you know the rule 'cause I don't want no commas flying everywhere, it's just very confusing and it will not make sense.

Resume when you have finished.

Ooh, you've done your first piece of writing in the Aladdin unit, well done, you.

And I bet, I hope, because you've been working really hard, I hope you are proud of all the hard work that you've done.

Please, please show someone at home, or your granny or your grandpa over Zoom, or someone what you have done, or your siblings or anyone, because you should be really proud of yourself and give yourself a big pat on the back.

We're going to continue with the Aladdin unit, but that is the end of your fast outcome.

Well done, you.