Lesson video

Hello, my name is Miss Vincent, and I'm going to be teaching you today for this lesson.

Today we're going to be writing the second part of our build up.

So, if you completed the previous planning lesson for this section of the build up then make sure that you've got your plan today, so we can put those really excellent ideas into writing.

So, I'm really excited to finish off writing our build up, so let's get started.

Let's have a look at today's agenda.

So, we're going to start with a writing warm up.

Then we're going to move on to reviewing the part of the story that we're going to be writing today, and making sure that we really know the events and what we need to include.

Then we're going to think about our success criteria.

So, what it's really great to include in order to make our writing successful.

And then finally it will be time to write our sentences.

In this lesson you will need an exercise book or a piece of paper, whichever one is fine, a pencil, or a pen, to write with, and then finally, if you have it, your plan from the previous lesson will be really, really useful today.

So, if you need to go and get anything in order to be ready to go, then please pause the video, go and get what you need, and then come back and press play.

Okay.

So, hopefully, we are ready to go.

So, let's start with our writing warm up today, and we're going to be thinking about complex sentences today.

And today we're going to practise complex sentences using the subordinating conjunction, "as." So, in a previous lesson, we practised using the subordinating conjunction, "while," and today we're going to use the subordinating conjunction, "as." But before we move on, I want you to think about what is a complex sentence? So, I'd like you to pause the video, and try and say out loud, what you think a complex sentence is.

The language of clauses will help you to explain.

Remember, a clause is a group of words that contains a verb.

So, pause the video, and have a go at explaining what a complex sentence is.

Okay, good job.

So, let's think about complex sentences.

Now we know that a complex sentence is made out of a main clause and a subordinate clause, remembering that visual of our superhero, the main Mr. Main being the main man.

And then we've got Ms. Subordinate, who is the helper.

Now, the thing to remember about a main clause, is that a main clause makes sense on its own.

So, a main clause can be a simple sentence that makes sense on its own.

However, a subordinate clause has a verb, so it's a clause, but it doesn't make sense on its own.

So, that's why we call it the helper for Mr. Main, because it gives more information, but doesn't make sense on its own.

And the two clauses are joined with a subordinating conjunction.

And the subordinating conjunction today we're going to focus on is, "as," but it can be lots of different subordinating conjunctions, like "while," and, "when," and "before." So, there's lots of different ones that we could use.

The subordinating conjunction can come in the middle, like you can see there, or it can come at the start.

And when it comes at the start, we need to remember a special rule about commas, but we'll look at that in a moment.

So, I've written a sentence using the subordinating conjunction, "as," so, let's read the sentence.

If you want to join in, please do.

"As Toothless backed away from him fearfully, Hiccup realised what the problem was." So, I've got my two clauses.

One of them starts with "as," which is my subordinating conjunction.

And we know that subordinate clauses always start with subordinating conjunctions.

So, I've got a sentence where my subordinate clause is first.

My subordinate clause is, "As Toothless backed away from him fearfully." And you'll agree that that doesn't make sense on its own.

That's not a full sentence, "As Toothless backed away from him fearfully." That leaves me thinking, "Well, what happened at the same time?" And that's why we've got our main clause that comes after, which is, "Hiccup realised what the problem was." Now, if I didn't have that subordinate clause, and I just had the main clause, "Hiccup realised what the problem was," that makes sense on its own, so, it tells me that it's the main clause.

So, I've put my subordinate clause first, in this case.

But remember, with complex sentences, we can swap the two clauses around, and our sentence still makes sense.

And we might choose to do that for the effect that it creates for the reader.

So, which part do you want your reader to read first? In this case, I wanted the reader to think about the dragon backing away first, at the same time as Hiccup realising.

So, I've written it in the format of subordinate clause first, and main clause second.

And when our subordinate clause is first, we need the comma to separate the two clauses, like I've got in my example.

However, we could swap the two clauses around, and have the main clause first, and the subordinate clause second.

And if we have the subordinate clause second, we don't need a comma.

So, I'd like you to pause the video and have a go at rewriting that sentence with the main clause first this time.

Off you go.

Okay, let's check if we've got the same thing.

So, with the main clause first, the sentence should read, "Hiccup realised what the problem was as Toothless backed away from him fearfully." Really well done if you joined in, and don't worry if you didn't get it right, it takes lots and lots of practise, so, good job for trying.

Okay.

So, now that we've practised our "as" complex sentences, I'd like you to pause the video, have a look carefully at this picture, and write one "as" complex sentence to describe what is happening.

Pause the video, off you go.

Okay, fantastic.

I wonder what your sentences are about? Perhaps it's about Hiccup growling at the same time as, other way round.

About Toothless growling at the same time as Hiccup is kicking away the knife.

Or perhaps it's about the way Hiccup is holding the fish while he's doing that.

So, really well done.

Right.

So, now we get to think about the second part of the build up, reviewing and recapping.

So, thinking once again about the section that we're going to be writing today, what's happened in this section.

And in previous lessons, we wrote the first part of this build up.

So, where Hiccup entered the valley, where Toothless was crouching behind him.

And then they saw each other, and Toothless came down from his rock, and Hiccup extended a fish for him.

And now we're going to write the next part, which we planned in our previous lesson, where we're going to think really carefully about each of these events that we can see.

So, let's re-watch the whole of the build up, but make sure that when we get to the part where Hiccup holds out the fish, that you're paying really careful attention, because the second half is the section that we're going to be writing today.

Okay.

So, let's watch.

Toothless? I could have sworn you had- What? Teeth.

Great.

So, now that we've watched the clip, we can move on to thinking about our writing.

So, I mentioned at the start of the lesson, that it would be really useful to have your plan from the previous lesson, remembering that we thought really carefully about the description with nouns, and adjectives, and about the action with verbs and adverbs, and your plan will have four sections.

Mine's over two pages.

So, you can see I've got the four events, one, two, three, and four.

And those are the four sections that we're going to be writing today.

So, if you need to go and find your plan, then please pause the video and go and do that now.

Great.

So, let's see what we've got next.

We're looking at our steps for success next.

So, we're thinking really carefully about what we want to include, in order to make our writing as effective as possible.

That means as exciting for the reader, as clear as possible, so they can have a really accurate picture in their heads of the scene that we're describing.

So, we're going to make sure that for each of these points that you can see on the screen, we try to write at least one sentence.

Now we might want to write more than one to show a little bit more detail, and give the reader a bit more information.

But if we just write one for each, then we'll have told the sequence of events, and we can build on that if we come back to edit, or we come back to improve it.

Okay.

So, let's think about what we need to include in order to be successful.

So, having our plan with us will be really, really useful.

So, I'm going to have it on the screen while I'm practising my writing.

And if you don't have a plan, you can always pause the video and take down some ideas.

If you do have your plan, have it right next to you while you're writing, because all those ideas will be really useful.

Really important to use our skills, our key skills.

So, always checking that we've got really important things like capital letters, and punctuation.

That our sentences make sense.

So, using our say, write, read, format.

Thinking of our whole sentence, writing it down, and then reading it through to check that what we've written actually is what we thought of in the first place, 'cause that happens to me all the time.

I sometimes write words twice, or perhaps I miss out a word.

So, it's really important to read it once you've written it down.

And then finally, our third skill that's always really useful is editing and improving.

So, looking at your sentence once it's written, and thinking, "Ooh, I think I want to change that adjective," or, "Hmm, I might add in an adverb." So, really useful.

Let's have a look at today's success criteria.

So, really important today to try and include descriptive vocabulary.

So, all those adjectives, and nouns, and verbs, and adverbs.

I think it's really important that we try and refer to the characters in different ways.

So, we don't want to just keep repeating, "Hiccup did this and Hiccup did that, but then Toothless did this and then Toothless did that." So, let's make sure that we refer to "the boy, the Viking, the youngster, the dragon, the creature, the beast, the night fury," there's loads of options to keep it interesting for our reader.

And then finally, we're going to have a go at including a range of sentence types.

So, some complex sentences, like we practised in our warm up.

Some compound sentences using "and," or using "but" to join some ideas, and then also some simple sentences as well, to be really clear to our reader.

Okay.

So, it's time to write.

So, just like we have done in previous lessons, it's going to be my turn, your turn.

So, make sure that when I'm writing, you're listening really carefully, you're thinking about what you might include in your writing, and then it will be your turn to write.

My favourite bit, let's get started.

Right.

So, the event that I want to describe in my first sentence is when Toothless backed away and growled, and I can see that in my first column where I've written "Events ." That helps me remember what I'm trying to describe in this section.

Now, it happened quite quickly.

Everything seemed to be going well, and then suddenly, Toothless got a little bit scared.

So, I'm going to use that word, "suddenly," that quick time word, to show that it's all happening very suddenly.

So, remembering my capital letter to start, and then I need my comma after my time conjunction.

So, "Suddenly," I'm going to look at my plan to help me.

I'm going to refer to Toothless as "the startled dragon." So, "Suddenly, the startled dragon." Let me look at my next column.

I'm going to go with, "leapt back in fright." So, "Suddenly the startled dragon leapt back in fright." And then I want to extend it further.

So, I'm going to use "and," to give more detail, and I'm going to talk about the growl.

So, "and let out a vicious, threatening growl." So, you can see that I've used so many things from my plan, and that's why planning lessons are really useful, 'cause then when we come to writing, we've got so many ideas to help us put sentences together.

So, my sentence was, "Suddenly the startled dragon lept back in fright, and let out a vicious, threatening growl." Okay, let's write that up.

So, "Suddenly the startled," which means surprised, "startled dragon leapt back in fright." Or you might write, "in fear." Both of them work.

"And," my coordinating conjunction to make my compound sentence, "and let out a vicious, threatening," I need my comma to separate my two adjectives, "growl." Think you can do a vicious, threatening growl to your screen? Well done.

Okay.

So, that's my first sentence done.

Your turn now.

So, make sure that you are thinking carefully, looking at your plan, and have a go at writing your description of when Toothless is scared, and how he backs away.

Off you go.

Really well done.

Let's move on to our next sentence.

For our next section, we need to describe what happens when Hiccup throws his knife away.

So, I want to pick up where I left off, with Toothless being quite scared of what's going on, and letting out a growl.

And I want to tell the reader that Hiccup knew straightaway what was going on, 'cause he knows straightaway, doesn't he, when we're watching the clip? So, just one simple sentence, a short sentence to tell our reader that.

So, I'm going to go with, "Hiccup realised instantly," which means straightaway, "Hiccup realised instantly what was wrong." Full stop.

And sometimes short sentences create a great effect, because they show how quickly something's happening.

So, I need my capital letter for "Hiccup." "Hiccup realised instantly what was wrong." Full stop.

So, he realised straightaway that he had to get rid of that knife, didn't he? So, "He took out," 'cause he takes out his knife, doesn't he? So, "He took out his sharp knife and dropped it to the ground." That's going to be my next sentence.

So, "He took out his sharp," now, knife is a funny word, isn't it? It's got that silent K in front of it that we've got to remember.

So, "He took out his sharp knife," knife, that's how I remember how to spell it.

"And dropped it to the ground." Full stop.

Okay.

So, I've written two sentences now.

I'm going to read them both through in one go.

"Hiccup realised instantly what was wrong.

He took out his sharp knife and dropped it to the ground." Okay.

So, now I want to tell my reader what he did next, which was, he kicked it, didn't he? He kicked it into the water.

And I think I'm going to practise that skill that we did in our warmup, with our "as" complex sentence, and I'm going to start with my "as" subordinate clause at the start.

So, what's happening? The two things that are happening at the same time is that Hiccup is throwing away the knife, and Toothless is continuing to growl.

So, I'm going to go with, "As Toothless continued to growl, the boy kicked the knife away." And I could give more detail, 'cause I can see in my plan that I've written, "into the deep water." So, I could say, "As Toothless continued to growl, the boy carefully kicked the knife away into the deep water of the lake." So, "As" capital letter, and then "Toothless" needs a capital letter, because it's his name.

"As Toothless continued to growl, and remembering then, we've got the subordinate clause first.

We need to use our comma after the subordinate clause, before the main clause.

So, "As Toothless continued to growl, the boy carefully," 'cause he's very careful about it, isn't he? "carefully kicked the knife, the knife, away into the deep water of the lake." Full stop.

So, I can spot a mistake already.

A very silly mistake.

He "kicked" it.

Okay.

Let's read through the whole thing.

"Hiccup realised instantly what was wrong.

He took out his sharp knife and dropped it to the ground.

As Toothless continued to growl, the boy carefully kicked the knife away into the deep water of the lake." Now it's time for you to write your sentence.

It's your turn.

So, make sure that you describe this section, where Hiccup manages to calm down Toothless by getting rid of the knife that he had in his belt.

Okay.

Off you go.

Really good job.

Let's move on to the next section.

For my third event I'm describing how Toothless approached with his mouth open.

And then he revealed those fantastic teeth.

So, he came with some smooth pink gums, a little bit like a baby that hasn't got its teeth yet, and then suddenly those big, sharp teeth popped out.

So, I first want to describe how Toothless walks towards Hiccup.

And I'm going to start my sentence with an adverb.

An adverb that describes how he's moving.

So, I'm going to go with the adverb, "slowly," 'cause I can start my sentences with adverbs as well to give a lot more detail about the action that's happening.

So, slowly the dragon edged towards the fish in Hiccup's hand," 'cause edged is another way of walking slowly.

You can sort of slowly edge towards something.

So, "Slowly the dragon edged towards the fish in Hiccup's hand." And while I'm talking, while I'm typing that up, I want you to think about where the apostrophe goes for Hiccup's hand, because hand belongs to Hiccup, so, have a think about where that apostrophe for possession should go.

So, "Slowly the dragon edged towards, the fish in Hiccup's hand." So, I haven't put the apostrophe in.

Can you point to where you think the apostrophe for possession should go? It goes here to show that the hand belongs to Hiccup.

Well done if you spotted that.

And I'm going to actually take away that full stop, and I'm going to extend it with "and," and I'm going to say that he also opened his mouth widely as he was walking.

So, "Slowly the dragon edged towards the fish in Hiccup's hand, and opened his mouth widely." And I can see that in my plan to help you get some ideas.

"Opened his mouth widely." Full stop.

Okay.

So, this is where Hiccup was quite surprised to see those pink gums, that there's no teeth in them.

So, I'm going to describe Hiccup as "The surprised boy." Remembering that surprised is that funny word that's got an R in it, even though we don't say it.

So, we can't hear the R in surprised.

So, "The surprised boy noticed that the creature was toothless." Now, I want you to think about, if I use "toothless" as an adjective, do I need the capital letter? Have a little think while I type that up.

So, "The surprised boy noticed that the creature was," okay, tell your screen, yes or no to capital letter.

Three, two, one.

No capital letter, because it is an adjective.

It's describing that he is without teeth.

So, that suffix, "less," tells us that the word is without that word.

So, toothless is without the teeth.

So, homeless is without a home.

Fearless is without fear.

So, if he's toothless, he has no teeth.

And I'm going to extend this sentence further.

I'm going to make another compound sentence, but I'm not going to repeat myself and use "and," I'm going to use "but," 'cause I'm showing an opposite idea, because I want to tell my reader that it didn't last long, having no teeth.

So, "The surprised boy noticed the creature was toothless, but not for long." "Not for long." Full stop.

Full stop.

And then after that, I want to make the reader understand how quickly those teeth pop out.

So, I'm going to go with a quick time conjunction.

Can you think of one? I'm going to go with the quick time conjunction, "in an instant." Which means very, very quickly.

"In an instant," what happened? "In an instant," want to look at my plan.

I'm going to call them "sharp, vicious teeth, sprung out of his pink gums." 'Cause they almost jump out, don't they? So, "in an instant," I said, "sharp, vicious teeth sprung." The past tense of spring is sprung, not spring.

So, "sharp, vicious teeth sprung out of his pink gums." Full stop.

Okay.

Let's read the whole thing through, 'cause I may have made some mistakes, 'cause I didn't necessarily read as I was going.

So, let's go.

Start to finish.

"Slowly, the dragon edged towards the fish in Hiccup's hand and opened his mouth widely.

The surprised boy noticed that the creature was toothless, but not for long.

In an instant, sharp, vicious teeth sprung out of his pink gums." Okay.

Now it's your turn to write your sentence or two for this section of the narrative.

You've got everything you need on the screen to remind you of what you need to be writing about, and what you need to include, so off you go.

Really well done.

On to our last section for today's lesson.

So, for our last sentence, we're describing that Toothless devoured the fish.

And devoured means to eat something really, really quickly.

So, to show how quickly it happened, I'm going to use another quick time conjunction to start.

And this time I'm going to go with "in a matter of seconds." And that just means that it only took a few seconds.

So, "In a matter of seconds," and I want to, I'm going to look at my plan.

I'm going to describe him as "the ravenous dragon," remembering that ravenous means starving hungry.

So, "the ravenous dragon had snatched the slimy fish and gulped it down in one hungry bite." That's going to be my sentence.

So, "In a matter of seconds, the ravenous dragon had snatched the slimy fish, and gulped it down in one hungry bite." So, "In a matter of seconds, the ravenous dragon," or perhaps I'm going to change that.

I'm going to go with "creature," now.

I feel like I've repeated "dragon" quite a lot.

So, "the ravenous creature had snatched." So, in those few seconds, all of these things happened.

He snatched it and he ate it.

So, "In a matter of seconds, the ravenous creature had snatched the slimy fish, and gulped it down in one hungry bite." "Gulped it down in one hungry bite." Full stop.

Let's read our sentence back.

Really important.

"In a matter of seconds, the ravenous creature had snatched the slimy fish and gulped it down in one hungry bite." Now it's your turn to write your last section of the build up.

Off you go.

Fantastic.

Well done.

So, you have written your whole build up now over this sequence of lessons.

And in this lesson, you wrote the second part of your build up.

Really fantastic effort.

So, now is the fun part, where we get to read through all of the writing that we've done today, from start to finish.

This is so that we can spot anything, perhaps that we've missed, but also so that we can get to enjoy our writing, and put ourselves in the position of the reader that we were writing for, and see if the effect that we wanted to create is there.

So, let's read through.

So, feel free to read along with me, following on your screen, and you can definitely follow with your finger while I'm reading.

Okay.

Three, two, one.

Let's read.

"Suddenly, the startled dragon leapt back in fright and let out a vicious, threatening growl.

Hiccup realised instantly what was wrong.

He took out his sharp knife and dropped it to the ground.

As Toothless continued to growl, the boy carefully kicked the knife away into the deep water of the lake.

Slowly, the dragon edged towards the fish in Hiccup's hand, and opened his mouth widely.

The surprised boy noticed that the creature was toothless, but not for long.

In an instant, sharp, vicious teeth sprung out of his pink guns.

In a matter of seconds, the ravenous creature had snatched the slimy fish and gulped it down in one hungry bite." Okay.

Your turn to read your piece of writing.

Off you go.

Okay.

I hope you enjoyed listening to your fantastic work, and reading your sentences.

So, we've finished all the parts of our lesson today.

So, really, really well done for all of your hard work.

I think you've worked incredibly hard.

You've written lots of sentences, and you should feel very proud of yourself.

So, now that you've written all those different sentences, perhaps you might want to share your work with a parent or carer, so, please do, if that's something you'd like to do.

Okay.

I will see you soon for another lesson on "How to Train your Dragon." Bye.