Lesson video

Hello, Miss Vincent here.

So in today's lesson, we're going to be writing and we're going to be finishing off the section of the narrative that we started in lesson six.

So we're going to be watching the clip of the next part where Oliver and Dodger go into Fagin's house and meet him and the other boys and we're going to be thinking about precise vocabulary to describe this section and then we're going to move on to write it.

So let's get started with our lesson so that we can finish off writing this part of the story.

Here's our agenda for today's lesson.

We're going to start off by rewatching the clip, thinking about the section that we're going to write today.

Then we're going to have a go at orally retelling the narrative, thinking about including as much detail as possible.

And then finally, we're going to move on to our writing of sentences to describe this part of the story.

So in this lesson, you will need an exercise book or a piece of paper.

You will need a pencil or a pen and you'll need your creative brains, your amazing brains, your observational brains to see everything in the clip and to write it as descriptively as possible.

So if you need to go and get anything, please pause the video to do that, and when you're ready to start the lesson, then come back and press play.

Okay, fantastic.

So we must be ready to go.

So we're going to start off today's lesson by watching the section of the film that we're going to have a go at writing up.

We're going to watch the part of the film where Oliver comes into Fagin's house and he sees all the other boys and they see him for the first time.

And then we get to describe Fagin.

We get to describe what he looks like.

So his appearance but also his actions.

So while we are watching the film, I want you to make notes of what you can see to add descriptive detail to your writing.

So try and think of all the different things that you can see that you could describe when we come to our writing.

So already in the pictures that are on the screen, we might choose their hanging handkerchiefs or rags that are all over the house.

We might describe the walls, we might describe the boys' faces or Fagin's face and Fagin's actions.

So there's lots and lots that we can pick up while we watch the film.

So let's watch really carefully, making notes of anything that we spot.

Remember to include adjectives to describe nouns and to include verbs and adverbs to describe the movements and the action.

You might want to watch the clip a couple of times and skip back in the video and watch it a few times.

That's absolutely fine and then when you're ready to continue, you can continue watching from the same point.

So let's watch the clip.

It's him, Fagin.

This is him, Fagin.

My new friend Oliver Twist.

Well, well, Oliver Twist.

I hope I have the honour of a more intimate acquaintance.

We're very glad to see you, Oliver.

There, Dodger, take off the sausages.

And let's make a space at the table for Oliver.

Ah ha.

Okay, fantastic.

So I wonder what things you spotted while watching this section of the film.

Some of the things that I spotted were I spotted that Dodger opened the door into a dimly lit, and smoky room.

So dimly lit means that it's not very bright and it's perhaps a little bit smoky because Fagin is cooking some sausages and perhaps they're burning a little bit.

I spotted a dilapidated house.

My turn, your turn.

Dilapidated.

One more time, dilapidated.

Fantastic.

Dilapidated means it's falling to pieces and the house is falling to pieces.

You can see big cracks in the walls.

You can see bits falling off on the walls.

So it's definitely a dilapidated house.

I spotted that Dodger approached Fagin.

I spotted Oliver stood still as a statue.

He doesn't move, does he, when he comes into the house.

He just looks around and takes it all in.

I notice that the boys stared at Oliver curiously.

So they're not staring at him in an unkind way but they're definitely staring at him with curiosity, so they want to know a little bit more.

I notice the cracked, stained walls were lined with colourful, hanging handkerchiefs.

I noticed that Fagin looked across the room at Oliver.

We could describe him as a hunched old man.

So he's bent over.

He's got a long hooked nose and I thought we could use a simile.

A simile is when we compare something to something else by using as or like.

So he's got a long hooked nose like a vulture's beak.

A vulture is a type of bird and we can describe Fagin's nose as looking like a vulture's beak, which tells us that it's big, that it's curved but also vultures aren't thought of as very nice birds.

So it's telling our reader a little clue that Fagin has a side that's a little bit unkind.

I noticed that Fagin bowed excessively, which means he bowed a little bit too much.

So much so that it felt a little bit like he was either making fun of Oliver or making a joke.

I noticed that the boys laughed jovially.

So jovially is a word that means with joy.

And that Fagin entertained the boys gladly.

And then thinking about Fagin's appearance.

I noticed that he had flame-red, so like the colour of flames in a fire, flame-red wispy hair.

So he's got bits missing and it's a bit wispy.

He's got leathery, wrinkled skin.

So leathery like the material leather, which is quite tough and quite rough and it's wrinkled.

And you can see the wrinkles on his forward.

He's got a saccharine smile, which means too sweet.

Saccharine means too sweet.

And then he's got insincere eyes.

Insincere means not honest because sincere means honest and that prefix in tells us it's the opposite.

So insincere.

So let's practise saying those words a couple of times.

My turn, your turn.

Saccharine.

One more time, saccharine.

And then insincere.

Insincere.

Good job, fantastic.

Now let's move on to retelling the narrative.

So it's your turn to retell the story as you've seen it.

I've put some pictures on the screen to help you out.

There's five pictures.

So if at any point you're stuck, you can look at the pictures to help you.

Remember, when you're retelling the story to include lots of descriptive detail.

So describe what you can see, describe the movements, describe how Oliver might be feeling with some show, not tell as well.

So pause the video to retell the story and press play once you've finished retelling.

Good job, well done.

Fantastic.

So let's move on now to our writing.

So in our writing today, we're going to use a bit of my turn your turn.

I'm going to show you an example few sentences and talk through them.

Then it will be your turn to write.

Then I'll show you some more and you can write the last bit as well.

And before that though, let's think about what we need to include in our writing.

So in order to be successful, we're always checking for our capital letters and our pieces of punctuation at the end of our sentence.

We're making sure that we use say, write, read.

So we think of our idea, our whole sentence, we might say it out loud.

We write it down and then we read to check what we've actually written.

And then finally, we're constantly checking back and rereading to edit and improve.

Today's success criteria, we're going to try really hard to describe the setting and the characters using ENPs, so adjective, adjective noun to describe the nouns in a lot of detail.

So ENP remember stands for expanded noun phrase.

So where we expand on a noun with lots of description.

We're going to choose precise verbs and adverbs to tell the reader more about the character, like we practised in lesson four of this unit.

So we thought about how verbs and adverbs help us to convey, so to show our character's personality, as well as their actions.

We're going to use a range of sentence types and where we include some speech, we're going to make sure that our speech punctuation, so our inverted commas are used correctly.

So let's start with the first section of Oliver and Dodger entering the house.

So I'm going to read this through to you all in one go and then we'll think about each sentence one at a time, comparing it back to our success criteria.

So first of all, just listen and follow while I read it for the first time.

When Dodger thrust open the front door, Oliver caught sight of a dimly lit room with smoke-filled air.

Stepping inside, he noticed colourful handkerchiefs on every surface and hanging across every wall.

There were boys sat around a table and their eyes took in every inch of Oliver's face.

So that is the first few sentences just showing them coming through the door and Oliver standing in the doorway.

So let's think about each part one by one.

So I've started with a complex sentence because I've got when Dodger thrust open the front door, Oliver caught sight of a dimly lit room with smoke-filled air.

So when Dodger thrust open the front door is my subordinate clause that starts with the subordinating conjunction when and it gives more detail on about the main clause that comes after.

I've used precise verbs.

So I haven't just said opened, ive' said thrust open to show that he's doing it with force.

So Oliver caught sight of a dimly little room, so describing that it's not very well lit, that it's quite gloomy with smoke-filled air.

So lots of description using adjectives and nouns.

I started my next sentence with an non-finite starter.

Remember, stepping inside, so when a verb ends in an -ing, when it starts a sentence, it's to show the action that's happening as the rest of the sentence unfolds.

So stepping inside, he noticed colourful handkerchiefs on every surface and hanging across every wall.

So we've got noticed, our verb, colourful handkerchiefs, so an adjective to describe the noun.

On every surface and hanging across every wall.

There were boys sat around the table and their eyes took in every inch of Oliver's face.

So I've written a compound sentence there where I've got two main clauses that make sense on their own.

And I've joined them together, using a coordinating conjunction, in this case, and, because we've got the first part.

There were boys sat around a table, that makes sense on its own.

It could be a standalone sentence.

And their eyes took in every inch of Oliver's face.

Also could be a standalone sentence.

So I've joined them using my coordinating conjunction and.

And by saying their eyes took in every inch of Oliver's face, I'm telling the reader that they're really, really looking at him in a lot of detail.

So now it's your turn to write your first few sentences, describing the boys walking in to the house, describing Dodger going over towards Fagin, Oliver standing there as the other boys look at him and sort out the handkerchiefs.

So pause the video to write your sentences and press play when you're ready to move on.

Okay, great, let's move on to the next section of our writing.

So just like before, I'm going to read the whole thing through once and you can listen and follow along and then we'll talk about each part in detail.

So ready to listen and follow along.

A curious-looking man, who Dodger had called over, was now looking closely at Oliver.

He had flame-red hair and a hooked nose like a vulture's beak.

The man bowed excessively and the boys laughed loudly.

As a leathery smile spread across his face, he cackled.

"Oliver Twister! Very glad to meet you!" Okay, so let's look in detail, thinking back to our success criteria about what I've included and why I've included it so hopefully you can get some ideas for your sentences as well.

So I've started off by calling him a curious-looking man.

Curious means that you're intrigued but you can also it to describe something that's strange.

People might say, "Oh, that's a bit curious," to mean that's a bit strange.

So he's a bit of a strange-looking man.

And then it says a curious-looking man, who Dodger had called over, who Dodger had called over, is a relative clause because that's giving extra information.

It starts with the relative pronoun who and it adds extra information to the sentence that was already there because if we cover who Dodger had called over, the sentence said a curious-looking man was now looking closely at Oliver.

So that made sense on its own.

But then we interrupted it with a relative clause to add more information, so we need the comma before our relative pronoun who, and the comma after the relative clause is over.

So a curious-looking man, who Dodger had called over, was now looking closely at Oliver.

So verb and adverb choice to show how he's looking at him.

So you might have changed looking to a more, you could change it to a more precise verb perhaps than looking.

You could say he's scrutinising him.

That means he's looking in a lot of detail or perhaps he's gazing at him, thinking about how he's looking at him.

So he had flame-red hair and a hooked nose.

So I've described the hair and the nose with an adjective, and then I've taken it a little bit further with a simile.

Remember, a simile compares something to something else by using as or like and I've used like.

So a nose, a hooked nose like a vulture's beak.

Remember, a vulture is a type of bird.

The man bowed excessively.

So he bowed a lot.

And the boys laughed loudly.

So I've used and again as a compound sentence to join two main ideas.

As a leathery smile spread across his face.

And the boys laughed loudly was verb and adverb.

As a leathery smile spread across his face, he cackled, "Oliver Twist! Very glad to meet you!" So this is an example of practising our speech in complex sentences because I've described what's happening, as well as the words that he's saying.

And our subordinate clause is as a leathery smile spread across his face, comma, because the subordinate clause comes first.

And leathery smile is adjective noun.

So leathery showing that it's a bit sort of, he's old and it's forced and then it spread is verb.

And then I've got he cackled, "Oliver Twist! Very glad to meet you!" So before opening our speech, I've got a comma, so I've got cackled instead of said, so I'm showing that it's a bit like a witch saying something and laughing.

I've got my comma before I open my speech marks.

I open my speech marks to start the sentence that Fagin said and he said, "Oliver Twist! Very glad to meet you!" I've finished it with an exclamation mark and then I've closed my inverted commas or my speech marks.

So I've made sure that I've included my speech punctuation and because it's speech second, I've got my comma before starting the speech.

So it's your turn now to write your section about Fagin coming towards Oliver, bowing and introducing himself and welcoming him into the house.

So make sure that as you're writing, you're using all of your success criteria and if you're including speech, be sure to only include the words the character is saying inside the inverted commas.

So press pause to write your sentences and then press play when you're ready to move on.

Okay, fantastic.

So now, you've got your whole section of your writing and I'd like you to read it through all in one go so that you can really get a sense and a feel for it of the whole thing from start to finish.

So pause the video to read through your writing in one go and press play when you've done that.

Okay, lovely.

Really well done.

So we've completed all of the sections of our lesson today.

So fantastic job, well done for all of your hard work.

And if you'd like to, please share what you have learnt with a parent or carer.

Now, in lesson nine, we are going to be thinking about editing our writing.

So if you'd like to improve this writing even further, then you can watch that lesson in an upcoming day.

So well done for all of your hard work and I will see you soon for more learning on Oliver Twist.

Bye.