Lesson video

Hello, everyone.

I'm Miss Saab.

Welcome to lesson number 10, in the second part of our BFG unit.

Today, we are writing the second part of the buildup and it's our final piece of writing in our PFG unit.

I cannot believe that today is our last lesson.

We have come to the end of our unit.

So let's really challenged ourselves to make this the very best piece of writing yet.

Today, we are going to write the second part of the buildup.

First, we are going to order the buildup.

Then we're going to think of ways to build suspense.

After that, we're going to write the second part of the buildup.

And finally, we're going to read back our writing.

In this lesson, you will need an exercise book or paper, a pencil, and for your brains to be switched on.

It would also be helpful to have your writing from last lesson and any notes that you have about the builder.

Can you pause the video now to grab your pencil, paper and any notes or writing that you have about the buildup.

You are all set, let's start our learning.

First, we're going to order the buildup.

Can you remember in what order that these things happen in the buildup? The giant blew his trumpets, the giants looked at Sophie.

the giant walk down the street, the giant grabbed Sophie.

Can you pause the video now to write the letters in the correct order on your piece of paper.

Let's check.

So this is the correct order.

First, the giant walk down the street, then the giant blew his trumpet, after that, the giant looked at Sophie and finally the giant grabbed Sophie.

Now, you know the buildup really well because you've ordered it several times and you've had to go out retailing it several times.

So you are so ready for your writing today.

Last time we wrote the first part of the buildup, today, we're going to write this second part of the buildup.

So we are focusing on the last two pictures.

In the second part of the buildup, the giant looked at Sophie and the giant grabbed Sophie.

Now we are going to revise aspect of suspense.

That means we're going to look at all the different ways that we can build suspend in our writing today.

Suspense means when you are feeling excited or anxious about what may happen next.

Your eyes might be glued to the screen.

You might not be able to turn away.

You might bite your nails or hold your breath because you're feeling so anxious about the next bit of the story.

We looked, last lesson we looked at five different ways that we can build suspense.

Show not tell, questions to the reader, exclamation marks, ellipsis and short, snappy sentences.

Last lesson we focused on show not tell and questions to the reader.

Today, We are going to focus on show not tell again.

We're also going to look at using exclamation marks, ellipsis and short, snappy sentences to build suspense in the second part of the buildup.

Let's recap, the different ways that we can show not tell how Sophie is feeling in the second part of the buildup.

So in this part of the buildup, Sophie is feeling petrified.

She is scared to death because the giant is approaching and he's about to grab her.

So, here was three different ways that you can show, not tell that Sophie is feeling petrified.

So we could say her body trembled violently, because she was so afraid.

She hid under her covers because she wanted to, he didn't want to be found and she wanted to be safe and away from the giant and she shrieked.

So, can you show me these things? Let's act them out together.

We're going to start with body trembling violently, ready? Three, two, one, body trembled violently.

Three, two, one, hid under the covers.

Three, two, one shrieked.

Great acting everyone.

Can you pause the video now to write down your two favourite ways to show, not tell that's how Sophie, to show not tell that Sophie was petrified in the second part of the buildup.

If you have your own idea to show not tell that Sophie was feeding petrified, write down on your piece of paper so that you can remember to use it in your writing later on.

Pause the video now.

Great, let's move on to exclamation marks.

We can use exclamation marks to show a strong, to show a strong feeling or to, or use it for our most exciting sentence.

So here are my exciting sentences.

Suddenly the gargantuan figure turned head! Exclamation mark.

As quick as a flash, the petrified orphan bolted to her bed! Exclamation Mark.

So today you can use one or two exclamation marks in your writing.

We don't want to use too many exclamation marks because we want to save them for our most excited, for our most exciting sentences.

Now we're going to look at ellipsis, dot, dot, dot.

so we can use eclipses to create suspense.

Here's my example, slowly, a gigantic hand approach her bed.

Dot, dot, dot.

So we can use eclipses to create a pause, to get the reader to guess what's might happen next.

And that builds excitement and the reader feels excited to find out what's going to happen afterwards in the story.

We are not going to look at using short, snappy sentences to build excitement and suspense in our writing.

So here are my examples, just then the giant began to turn! She guessed, she sprinted, she hid under her covers.

So I used three short, snappy sentences.

She gasped, she sprinted, she hid under her covers one after the other to build suspense.

So these sentences are short.

They are quick to read.

And if, if we put a few of them one after the other, then we speed up the pace of the reading and that builds excitement in the story.

So today you can use three short, snappy sentences, one after the other to build suspense in your writing as well.

We are now going to write the second part of the buildup.

You now have lots of different ways to build suspense in your writing and make your writing really exciting.

I cannot wait to read the second part of your buildup.

So to be successful today, here is the success criteria that we need to follow.

So we need to use think, say, write and read for every sentence.

We always think and say our sentence before writing it down.

And we always read our sentence back to check that it makes sense.

And it has all the punctuation that it needs, all the capital letters, the full stops, the commas and so on.

We need to use show not tell to show how Sophie was feeling.

We want to use precise verbs to describe what's happened.

And we need to use a range of joining words to extend our ideas.

So you can use because, when, so, if, and, but and or.

And we need to remember to use a comma before but and a comma before or, if we include them in our writing.

Remember to have your notes right next to you, to help you with your writing today.

Having your writing from last lesson is useful because you can read it to see what you wrote in, for the first part of the buildup and then think of how you're going to start the second part of the buildup.

I'm now going to read you what I wrote, and then we're going to look at my writing and see if I've been successful today.

All of a sudden, the gargantuan figure turned and he glared at Sophie! The young orphan gasped when she caught a glimpse of his enormous, wrinkly face in the moonlight.

So, let's see if I have met all the success criteria today.

So, I thought about my sentences.

I said them, and then I wrote them down and I've just read them back to you.

So I gave myself a tick for that target.

I have used some examples of show not tell to show that Sophie was feeling petrified and really, really scared in this part of the buildup.

So I wrote in, in this paragraph, I wrote gasped, to show that she was really afraid.

I used some precise verbs to describe what's happened.

So I used glared.

So instead of saying the figure looked at Sophie, I said, the figure glared at Sophie, to show that he is looking at her for a while without taking his eyes off.

So that shows, that describes how he looks at Sophie in a more precise and accurate way.

And then I tried, I challenged myself to use two joining words in this paragraph.

So I used an and, for my first sentence and I used a when, for my second sentence.

So I gave myself a tick for that targets as well.

I'm not going to read you my second paragraph.

As quick as a flash, she bolted to the safety of her bed and she buried herself under her covers.

Her heart thumped.

Her body trembled.

Her breathing quickened.

Slowly, a gigantic hand approached her bed.

Then let's see if I've been successful, if I've been successful today.

So, again I use think, say, and write and then read for every single sentence.

So I though it's about my sentences.

I said them, I wrote them down and I've just read them back to you.

I used show, not tell.

I really challenged myself to use lots of show not tell in this paragraph.

So I said, instead of saying, Sophie felt petrified, I said, "She buried herself under her covers," so she's hiding because she's getting afraid.

Her heart thumb, her body trembled, her breathing quickened.

All of these are signs that you're feeling really scared.

So I gave myself a tick for show not tell.

And then I thought of a precise verb to use.

So instead of saying, Sophie went back to her bed, I said, "She bolted back to her bed," and that describes more, that describes in a more, that describes how she went back to her bed in a more accurate way.

She went very quickly back to her bed.

So I chose the verb bolted to show how fast she went back to her bed.

I also challenged myself to include a joining word.

I used an and, in my first sentence.

Now, I'm going to go back to my first paragraph just to show you something.

I used one exclamation mark in this paragraph.

All of a sudden, the gargantuan figure turned and he glared at Sophie! Because I thought that was really, that was, that was my most exciting sentence in this paragraph.

So I use my exclamation market there to build suspense.

In my second paragraph, I used ellipsis.

So dot, dot, dot, at the very end.

Slowly, a gigantic hand approach her bed.

And I used them there to create a pause, to get the reader to think about, what might happen next.

So, that's another way to build suspense.

And I also used three short, snappy sentences, Her heart thumped, her body trembled, her breathing quickened.

So these are three short, snappy sentences that also show, not tell that Sophie was feeding petrified.

So I tried to build that.

I tried to use different ways to build suspense in my writing today.

Now it is your time to shine.

This is our final piece of writing in our BFG unit.

This is the last, this is our last lesson today.

So, really challenge yourself and put in as much effort as you can, the best piece of writing today.

So I would like you to write two to three sentences for each image.

So four to six sentences all together, and I have put the success criteria there so that you can keep checking back to see what else you need to include in your writing to be successful today.

Pause the video now to do, to complete your final piece of writing in our BFG unit.

I hope that you're feeling really proud of yourselves for working so hard on your very last piece of writing in our BFG unit.

I cannot wait to read your writing and feel all of the suspense and excitement as I read through your piece of work.

We are now going to read back our writing for the very last time in our BFG unit, because this is our final lesson.

As you read back your work, I hope that you really enjoy looking at the progress that you have made in your writing so far.

I would like you now to pause the video, to read your work back and check if you have been successful.

If you haven't met everything in the success criteria, that's okay.

That is something that you can improve in the next section of our lesson.

Remember the best writers always read back their work to check what they have done really well and what they could do even better.

Pause the video now to read your work back and check, if you have been successful.

Now, let's think of ways that we can make our writing even better.

So, I would like you to make one improvement, one change to make your writing even better.

You could maybe add an ellipsis if you haven't done so already, you could check your exclamation marks.

Have you only used one or two? Have you used them for your most exciting sentences? You can check if you have used three short, snappy sentences to build suspense.

If you haven't done so, you can add those in and you can check your punctuation, check that you've got a capital letter at the beginning of every sentence, a full stop at the end of every sentence, your comma is where they need to be.

So, can you pause the video now to make one change, to improve your writing.

Great editing everyone.

The best writers always go back to edit their work and make changes to improve their writing.

I would like you now to underline your favourite sentence, the sentence that you are most proud of.

Can you pause the video now, to complete your task.

Well done, We have reached the end of our lesson.

Today, we ordered the buildup.

Then we thought of ways to build suspense.

We then wrote the second part of the buildup.

And finally, we read back our writing.

Well done everyone for all of your hard work, this lesson, and in every lesson of our BFG unit, I hope that you feel really proud of all the effort that you have put into our lessons, this unit.

And that you get to have big sense of achievement, when you see all the progress that you have made so far.

You can look at your first piece of writing in this unit and compare it to your final piece of writing today, to see the progress that you have made.

Please do read your pieces of writing to someone at home so that you can show off all of your hard work and your amazing writing.

I would love to see your pieces of writing as well.

So, if you would like to, please ask your parents or carer to share your work on Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter, tagging @OakNational and #LearnwithOak.

It has been an absolute pleasure to teach you this unit.

And I hope that you've enjoyed it as well.

Keep challenging yourself with your writing and keep up your hard work.

Bye.