Lesson video

Hi everyone, it's me Ms. Webster again for our next Highwayman lesson and I'm really excited about this one because we get to write the first parts of the buildup today.

And you've worked so hard in getting ready for this lesson.

You've generated loads of great ideas, you've planned really, really precise vocabulary, we've practised lots of sentence writing, so I can't wait to see how hard you work in this lesson.

Hope you're feeling confident.

Hope you're sitting somewhere comfortably.

And I hope you're feeling ready to learn.

In this lesson, you will need an exercise book or some paper, a pencil or something else to write with, your brain, and you will need your plan for the buildup that we did in the previous lesson.

So if you haven't got everything you need, pause the video now, go and collect it, and I'll see you when you're ready.

We'll do our writing warmup, we'll prepare to write, and then we will write the build up in short parts.

And I'll do a little bit of writing, and then it will be your turn to do each section one at a time.

And then we'll read back our writing aloud.

So for our writing warmup, I'd like you to choose the correct spelling.

Now these might be words that you'll use in our writing today.

So let's have a little look at them.

Okay.

So my turn, your turn.

Subtly.

Disappointed.

Whistle.

Eagerly.

Beamed.

Good job.

Pause the video now and write down the correct spelling of each word.

Did you have a go? Should we check? So subtly, S-U-B-T-L-Y.

Give yourself a tick if you got that.

Disappointed.

There's two P's in the middle.

Remember those two P's.

D-I-S-A-P-P-O-I-N-T-E-D.

Whistle.

It's got an H in it.

Eagerly.

E-A-G-E-R-L-Y.

Keep ticking as we go along.

And beamed.

B-E-A-M-E-D.

Show me your fingers how many got out of five? Well done.

So let's get ready to write.

I need your plan for this.

Let's recap what the highwayman did in order.

So look at your plan.

What was the first thing that he did? Okay.

It was that he arrived at the inn.

Then what did he do? Can I give you a clue? He knocked on the door or he tapped with his whip on the shutters.

Then what did he do? Can I give you a clue? He whistled up to the window, didn't he? And finally the final bit in this part, in the buildup, is that he saw Bess.

Okay.

So we're going to write each section in parts.

We're starting off with the highwayman arriving at the inn.

Over the cobbles he clattered and clashed in the dark inn-yard.

And I've got a couple of pictures there to help us remember what happened, but you really need to make sure that you've got your plan because you worked so hard on planning really precise vocabulary choices, and really excellent show not tell that you can use in your writing.

So now just take a moment to look at your plan.

Have you got the when detail? When he arrived at the inn? Have you got where the inn was? Have you got how he arrived? My one says careered into the inn yard.

Have you got some good show not tell? I've got relief surged through his body, he couldn't believe that he'd made it.

Have a really good look at your plan.

What words are you going to use in your sentences today? So I'm going to do a little bit of writing and then it will be your turn.

So all you need to do is listen really carefully and follow along when I'm writing my sentences.

So the first thing I want to do is tell the reader when he arrived at the inn.

So I can see on my plan, I've got a time conjunction after several hours.

So several hours of riding.

Might change that verb actually to galloping.

After hours of galloping through the bleak moor, comma, the highwayman finally caught sight of the inn.

So I've thought about my sentence, I've said it out loud, now I'm going to write it.

After hours of galloping through the bleak moor, comma after my subordinate clause, the highwayman finally caught sight of the inn.

After hours of galloping through the bleak moor, comma, the highwayman finally caught sight of the inn.

Now, the next thing I want to do is a little bit of show not tell.

So might really get a sense of how he feels.

And I can see on my plan, I've got a really great one there, relief surged through his body, which means he felt that relief travel up and down his body.

So relief surged through his body.

And then I'm going to say how he entered the inn.

And he careered into the cobbled inn yard.

Relief surged through his body and he careered into the cobbled inn yard.

Time to read both my sentences back now.

After hours of galloping through the bleak moor, comma, the highwayman finally caught sight of the inn.

Full stop.

Relief surged through his body and he careered into the cobbled inn yard.

So I think that gives my reader quite a good picture of this first bit of the buildup, him entering the inn.

Quite, I think I've chosen those verbs really well, galloping, surged, careered.

So I've really thought carefully about my vocabulary choices.

So I've written the first part of the buildup and in a minute, it will be your turn to do your sentences.

And remember our skills to be successful are: We're going to think, say, write, read every sentence, just like you saw me do a minute ago.

We're choosing the most precise descriptive language and really carefully thinking about our nouns and adjectives.

And we're really carefully thinking about choosing precise verb and adverbs.

And you all have seen me do both of those things a minute ago when I did my sentences.

And I'd like you to include at least one complex sentence.

And you definitely need your plan because that's got all the amazing ideas that you wrote in our planning lesson so that you can just really quickly have a look and choose the best words that you've already planned.

So pause the video now and have a really good go at writing this first section.

We have about two or three sentences, and then you can join me when you're ready.

So the next thing we're writing about is the highwayman knocking on the shutters.

There's a picture of the shutters that we had in our vocabulary lesson.

And this is the line from the poem.

He touched with his whip on the shutters, but all was locked and barred.

Okay.

Have a really good look at the next section in your plan, number two, where he knocked on the door.

What were your precise vocabulary choices? Mine were tapped firmly, knocked hopefully.

Was anyone there? What did he realise? That the door was locked.

No one stirred, so no one was awake.

No one answered him.

There was just no noise coming from behind the door.

Did you get some good show not tells in your plan? My ones were disappointment consumed him, or he just felt overwhelmed with disappointment.

He couldn't believe that there was no one there after travelling all this way.

His heart sank, maybe he sighed out loud.

So, again, I will do a little bit of writing for this part.

So you need to watch really carefully and then it will be your turn.

So we're writing about him going up to the inn and knocking on the door, aren't we? So I think I need to start off with saying that he's kind of approaching the inn.

So maybe that could be our sentence starter.

Approaching the building, approaching the inn.

Approaching the building, comma, after my non finite clause, he tapped firmly on the shutters, comma, but no one stirred.

And all I've done to come up with that sentence is look really carefully at my plan to see what vocabulary choices I can use.

So approaching the building, comma, he tapped firmly, which means he tapped in quite a hard way, quite forcefully, on the shutters, comma, but no one stirred.

What does that mean again? No one stirred.

Does that mean that someone woke up and answered the door or didn't? Yeah, no one answered the door.

So I'm going to read that back.

Approaching the building, comma, he tapped firmly on the shutters, comma, but no one stirred.

Let's do a little bit of show not tell now.

So I'm going to look in my planning, my plan for the show not tell.

I think I'm going to use his heart sank.

And that shows how disappointed he felt.

His heart sank because he realised he might be too late.

His heart sank because he realised he might be too, with two o's, too late.

I'm going to read write sentences back.

Approaching the building, comma, he tapped firmly on the shutters, comma, but no one stirred.

His heart sank because he realised he might be too late.

So I've written the second part of our paragraph and in a minute, it will be your turn to write yours.

And again, we're going to think, say, write, and read every sentence.

We're going to choose precise vocabulary, so choosing the best words for the sentence and the sentence's purpose.

And then we're going to make sure we include at least one complex sentence.

And what's the most important thing? We've got to have our? Plan right next to us.

So pause the video now and take a few minutes to write the sentences for this part.

So the third thing we're writing about is him whistling up to the window.

He whistled a tune to the window and there's a picture of the Inn, and there's a little symbol of the highwayman whistling his tune to catch Bess's attention.

So again, look at part three in your plan and really carefully look at your precise vocabulary choices there.

Where did he have to look? Oh, he had to cast his eyes upwards.

He had to look above him.

Okay.

He had to look right above him up to that top window.

And what did he do? He let out a subtle whistle, a familiar whistle.

He eagerly signalled and he really wanted her to be there, didn't he? He willed that she would be there.

He was really hopeful.

So now just take a moment to look at that part of your plan.

What words have you got that you will use in your writing? Okay.

So it's now time for you to follow along with me doing my writing for this bit.

So again, watch and listen really carefully.

But let's use a time conjunction for when he decided to do that.

I think a good one would be a moment later, comma.

What did he do? He cast his eyes upwards.

I might use a different word actually.

He glanced upwards towards the window and let out a whistle.

Now I can see an adjective on my plan.

He let out a subtle whistle.

A moment later, comma after my time conjunction, he glanced upwards towards the window and let out a subtle whistle.

Just checking the spelling there.

W-H-I-S-T-L-E.

Okay.

A moment later, comma, he glanced upwards towards the window and let out a subtle whistle.

And then the next bit, I think a bit of show not tell, and I'm going to go straight to my plan and choose the word willed, which we know means really, really wished.

He willed that she would be there.

He willed that she would be there.

Let's read it back.

A moment later, comma, he glanced upwards towards the window and let out a subtle whistle.

He willed that she would be there.

So again, I think I've chosen precise vocabulary.

I've definitely used think, say, write, read for every sentence.

I actually haven't got a complex sentence in this, in these sentences, but I don't think that matters because I've used complex sentences already.

And I think the structure of these sentences goes really well with the purpose of them because I've got.

Actually, can you tell me what that first sentence is? A moment later, he glanced upwards towards the window and let out a subtle whistle? That's a? Compound sentence.

Because I've got two main clauses joined with my coordinating conjunction, and.

And then I've got a short sentence, a short, simple sentence to finish this part off.

So in a moment, it will be your turn to write your sentences about this part.

As always, we need to remember our skills to be successful writers, think, say, write, read every sentence, choosing really precise vocabulary and making sure we're including at least one complex sentence.

And what's the most important thing? Have your plan.

So pause the video now and take a few minutes to write your sentences for this section.

Next thing we're writing about is the highwayman seeing Bess.

And who should be waiting there, but the landlord's black-eyed daughter.

You need to go back to your plan, look at the final row, which is all of your amazing vocabulary describing when the highwayman saw Bess.

So have a really close look now.

How can you refer to Bess? What adjectives might you use to describe her? What's she doing? Within the poem, remember, it said she was platting her hair, but we also thought that she might have waved at him.

She might have smiled.

And then what show not tell have you got in your plan? Have a really good look.

In my plan, I've got his heart soared.

I've got an elated beam spread across his face and there was a gleam in his eye.

So some really precise show not tell there.

So take a really good look at your own plan.

And I will do my writing now.

Again, you can follow and listen along really carefully, and then it'll be your turn.

So I want to start my sentence with an adjective that describes how he felt.

I think he felt really relieved at this point because he'd finally seen Bess.

So relieved, comma, the highwayman's heart leapt in joy.

When did he do that? When he saw his one true love.

And I've just looked at my plan and seen a different way to refer to Bess.

One true love.

Relieved, comma after my adjective, the highwayman's heart, oh what do I need to remember if it's his heart? I need an 's to show possession.

Leapt in joy when he saw his one true love.

I'm going to read that back.

Relieved, comma, the highwayman's heart leapt in joy when he saw his one true love.

The next thing I'm going to write about is what she did.

So I've got a few ideas in my plan.

She was plaiting her hair, she waved at him, she smiled.

I think I'm going to use that idea that she waved at him.

How did she do that? How did she do that? Eagerly would be a good precise adverb here.

So Bess waved eagerly back at him.

Maybe a little bit of more detail about what she looked like.

With a joyful beam across her face.

Bess waved eagerly back at him.

Now, remember we had that spelling in our writing warmup, spelling eagerly, with a joyful beam, which is a really big smile, across her face.

So I'm going to read it back for you.

Listen carefully.

Relieved, comma, the highwayman's heart leapt in joy when he saw his one true love.

Oh, and I made a little spelling error there, his one true love.

And that's why it's really important to check back our writing.

Next sentence.

Bess waved eagerly back at him, comma, with a joyful beam across her face.

So in a minute, it will be your turn to write the final parts of your paragraph.

Our skills to be successful are there.

I bet you're doing a fantastic job of thinking, saying, writing and reading every single sentence.

I bet you're doing a fantastic job of choosing precise vocabulary as well, and I bet you're doing a great job of writing at least one complex sentence per part.

Make sure you've got your plan, which I know you have.

Show me.

Raise your plan.

Show it to me.

Thank you.

Okay.

So pause the video now and take a few minutes to write these sentences.

So our final part of our lesson focuses on reading back our writing.

So here's a question.

Why do we need to read back our writing once we've written it? Can you just pause the video now and have a little bit of thinking time? And I'm going to challenge you to come up with as many reasons as you can as to why it's really important that when we've finished all our writing, we give ourselves the time to read it back thoroughly.

Pause the video now.

So these are the things that I came up with.

I wonder if you've got any of these.

To check it makes sense, to get a sense of what the reader will feel.

How do you want the reader to feel when they're reading your buildup of The Highwayman? And by reading it back ourselves, we get to step into the shoes of the reader and get a sense of what they feel like.

Also, it's important to make sure we've got the purpose right.

Does the purpose of our writing, what its intended effect is, does that match what we've actually written? It's also helpful to check things like punctuation errors.

If we've made a few mistakes, that's okay because we give ourselves the time to read back and change them.

Same for things like making sure we've got precise vocabulary.

So reading back allows us to check that we've used the exact right word choice to fit the purpose of the sentence.

And it gives us the time to change any words if we need to.

And it also helps us check and change spelling errors.

Now I think the most important reason to read back our writing, when we've written it, is this.

To enjoy it and to feel proud of the work we've done and to feel proud of the writer that we are.

I'm going to read back mine now.

All you need to do is just listen and follow along.

I know I've read it back as I was writing my sentences, but this is all of the paragraph.

All in one go.

After hours of galloping through the bleak moor, comma, the highwayman finally caught sight of the inn.

Relief surged through his body and he careered into the cobbled inn yard.

Approaching the building, he tapped firmly on the shutters, but no one stirred.

His heart sank because he realised he might be too late.

A moment later, he glanced upwards towards the window and let out a subtle whistle.

He willed that she would be there.

Relieved, the highwayman's heart leapt in joy when he saw his one true love.

Bess waved eagerly back at him with a joyful beam across her face.

It's your turn to read your whole paragraph out loud now.

And on the screen, I'll just put all of the things that we thought about that we need to do when we're reading back.

You don't need to do all these things, but you just need to have them in your mind as reasons why it's important to read our writing back.

Pause the video now and enjoy reading your paragraph out loud.

Wow.

You have worked so hard.

We did our writing warmup, then we got ready to write, and then we wrote each section in parts.

And then you had a really good go at reading back your writing.

And I am so impressed with the amount of work that you've done in today's lesson.

You should feel really, really proud of yourself.

If you would like to, you can ask your parent or carer to share your writing on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter, tagging @OakNational and #LearnwithOak.

I really hope you enjoy the rest of your day.

And I'm looking forward to seeing you for our next lesson very soon.