Lesson video

Hello and welcome to lesson three for this unit of work, respectful relationships.

In this lesson, we will learn about respecting the privacy of others, as well as the importance of boundaries, physical or otherwise.

We will also discuss giving and withdrawing consent.

This lesson covers some content that may be a sensitive topic for you.

We recommend checking with a trusted adult before starting or doing the lesson with a trusted adult nearby, let's begin.

For this lesson you will need some paper or an exercise book, and also a pen to write with.

If you need to pause the video now to collect that equipment, do so now, and press play when you're ready to resume.

Let's now have a look at the agenda for today's lesson.

We will start with discussing the terms privacy, and then how we can respect each other's boundaries.

We will then discuss giving and withdrawing consent, and we will finish with a reflection and exit quiz.

Let us now have a look at the keywords for today's lesson.

Firstly, consent, this is giving someone permission to do something.

Personal space, having enough distance between you and another person.

And finally privacy, this is the right to be left alone and the right to have control over your own personal information.

We will start today's lesson by looking at how we can respect privacy.

We have already seen that today's keyword privacy means that you have the right to be left alone and also the right to have control of your own private information.

We all have the right to have our privacy respected.

My first question for you today is can you think of any examples of how your privacy can be respected? An example might be that you should be able to trust that your friends will not access your phone without your permission.

Take a moment now to pause the video and have a reflection on that question.

Can you think of an example of how your privacy can be respected? Press play when you're ready to move on.

We're going to have a look at a scenario now, and I'd like you to be thinking about what should Aisha do during this story.

Zoya and Aisha have recently become friends.

Last week, the two girls were making fun videos in the park.

And in one, Aisha does a really silly impression of a celebrity.

It is clear in the video that both girls are laughing.

Aisha asks Zoya to keep the videos between themselves.

She likes to keep things private in her life.

And she doesn't like many people seeing what she is up to in her own time.

However, Zoya decides to share these videos online.

She's so happy.

She gets lots of likes and comments, and then people ask Aisha to redo the impression.

Aisha is feeling very upset.

So what should Aisha do? Pause the video now to think about this.

To start you off, one idea might be that Aisha could speak to Zoya.

What else can you think of? Pause now and press play when you're ready to carry on.

Let's compare our ideas.

What should Aisha do in that situation? She was clearly very upset as Zoya had gone against her wishes and used her videos online without her permission.

Now I already gave the idea that Aisha could speak to Zoya about the situation.

Perhaps ask her to remove the videos again, and explain how she is feeling.

But there are other things that Aisha could also do.

And you might have the same list as me, or you might want to add some of my ideas to yours.

Aisha could also speak to her family and explain how she is feeling.

She may wish to laugh it off.

However, this is hard for some people to do, and that is okay.

Another option for Aisha might be to speak to somebody in school.

They may also be able to help her, or report it to the website in question.

And a final thing that Aisha could do might be to unfollow or block Zoya on social media.

These are all possible suggestions, and there is no right answer but it has to be what works best for Aisha.

What is really important though is that Zoya understands that using Aisha's video without her permission is not respecting her privacy, and Zoya needs to understand that everybody has the right to having their privacy respected.

So now we have looked at the definition of privacy.

Let's now move on to understand what we mean by the time respecting boundaries.

Your personal space means having enough distance between yourself and another person.

Can you remember a time when someone has been too close to you? How did it feel? What do we mean by getting too close? Pause the video and reflect on that question.

Now what we mean is someone sitting too near you, hugging you when you haven't asked them to, touching you when you've not wanted them to, or anything that makes you feel uncomfortable.

For this next scenario, I would like you to think what should Nicky do? Nicky and John are on the same football team.

And in a recent training session, John has started to comment on Nicky's arms saying that they're too small.

John keeps reaching out to poke Nicky's arms and encouraging others to do the same.

Nicky feels very self-conscious and uncomfortable, but John continued.

So what should Nicky do? Pause the video and write down any actions that you think Nicky could take in this scenario.

In the previous scenario, it is very clear that Nicky needs to set his boundaries.

John is getting far too close and this is making Nicky uncomfortable.

There are two good ways that Nicky could react.

Nicky should say no.

And Nicky should report this to a trusted adult.

John needs to understand that he should respect Nicky's boundaries and not get too close if that makes Nicky uncomfortable.

Let us now look at the final part of our lesson, giving and withdrawing consent.

Consent means giving someone permission to do something.

If we reflect on the two scenarios that we have discussed in this lesson, Aisha and Nicky, did either person give consent? So for example did Aisha give Zoya consent to share her videos? And did Nicky give John consent to touch his arms? Point to either the yes or the no on the screen now.

So the answer is no.

Aisha did not give Zoya consent.

In fact, she specifically asked Zoya not to upload the videos to the internet.

And Nicky had not given John consent.

And at no point did he tell John that he could touch his arms. In any situation you are able to choose whether you want to give or withdraw consent.

You can change your mind if you want, and this applies to any relationship and any scenario.

It is extremely important to make sure that you have received consent in any situation.

So for example, how do you know if someone wants to be hugged? The first thing is to ask them.

It is really important to respect their answer.

So let's look at some possible outcomes.

The other person might say yes, so you can hug them.

They might say no, so don't hug them.

And our third possible outcome might be that they had said yes before, but not this time.

You should still ask them and check again, and this is true for any interaction.

When giving consent it is okay to say yes, but it is also okay to say no if you want to.

I would like you to now have a think about how you might say no to someone.

It can be hard to do, but I would like you to make a list on your paper now.

So for example, you might say to someone, not now, thank you.

Pause the video and add to your list how else might you say no to someone.

Shall we compare our lists? What else did you come up with if you have to say no to someone? I already shared with you that I think you could say, not now, thank you.

But you might also have some ideas along the lines of, no way.

It's not my thing.

Not today, thank you.

I am not interested.

These are all great ways to say no.

Let's have a true or false now.

So if you feel uncomfortable in a situation you can withdraw your consent.

Is that true or false? Point to the screen now.

That is true.

You can say no at any point.

And that is your right.

Be clear about your boundaries that you are setting to other people.

Let's us now end with a reflection on today's lesson.

You can expect to have your privacy respected as well as your boundaries.

You should be able to choose when to give and withdraw consent.

I have been Mrs. Smith.

Thank you so much for joining me in this lesson.

If you would like to share with us any of the work you have completed, please use the hashtag LearnwithOak and make sure that you have permission from a parent, carer or guardian.

Thank you again, goodbye.