Lesson video

Language: it's confusing and it's tricky, but it can also be fun and exciting.

The key to inviting people into our imagination when we write stories is through language.

Through words and phrases that can be arranged to both delight and thrill, to scare and upset, and to inspire and challenge.

Words are the tools writers use to present their ideas to the world.

Today, we're going to use these tools ourselves, looking at figurative language and how it is used to help us create a story.

Language is powerful, and we're going to harness that power.

Today, we're going to write our own stories.

Hello everyone.

My name is Mr. Pryke.

And welcome to this lesson on figurative language.

All you'll need to complete today's lesson is a pen and paper, or something to write on and with.

And if you can, try and move yourself away from any distractions.

When you're ready, we'll begin.

In today's lesson, we're going to consider how we can ensure a reader enjoys our writing.

We're going to think about what figurative language is and how it can be used when we write a story.

Then, we'll look at how we can improve our sentences to ensure our writing is exciting and engaging.

We'll finish by writing our stories: the moment this unit has been building towards.

Today, we're going to become writers ourselves.

And I'm so excited to see what we come up with.

We're going to begin by looking at how we can ensure a reader enjoys our writing.

I'm going to read a paragraph to you.

This is from the beginning of a story.

As I read, think about what you like about the paragraph and what you dislike.

I'll be asking you for your opinions in a moment.

The trees were tall.

They carried brown and yellow leaves.

The path was scattered with those that had fallen onto the ground.

They crumbled under my feet.

The trees were blocking out the sun and I shivered.

I could see the blue sky through the crisscross of the tree branches.

Birds were squawking in the branches.

They were extremely loud.

What are your opinions on this paragraph? I'd like you to write down two things you like about the piece of description I've just read to you.

When you're finished, write down two things you dislike about the piece of description I've just read to you.

Remember, this is an opinion-based question, so there are no wrong answers.

Pause the video here to complete the task and then press play when you're ready.

Now, we will all have our own opinions on this paragraph.

So, there's not a right answer to the task I just made you complete.

Therefore, I'm going to share my own thoughts on what has been written here.

Let's begin by looking at what I like about this paragraph.

I think the vocabulary the writer uses here is very effective.

For example, the use of the word scattered to describe how the leaves have arranged themselves on the path really shows how messy and chaotic everything is.

I really like the use of the word crunch too.

Readers get a really nice idea of how the leaves sound when people step on them.

I love the image of the crisscross of the tree branches.

It makes me imagine that if I was in this setting, I would look up and see only pockets of sky through the trees, their branches reaching across my vision.

I also like the use of squawking to describe the noise of the birds.

It's a harsh sound and different to what we would imagine if we were thinking of birds singing.

The fact we're told they are extremely loud shows just how noisy they're being.

Let's move on to what I think could be improved.

The first thing I dislike about this paragraph is the fact that the sentence starters are nearly all the same.

The paragraph uses the words the, and they a lot, which makes it sound extremely repetitive and a little like a list.

It becomes very boring for a reader and as such, they probably lose interest in the paragraph and what the writer is saying.

The next thing I dislike about the paragraph is the lengths of the sentences.

They're all very short, particularly the ones that I've highlighted.

It's fine to have short sentences sometimes, but too many means that the writing can begin to sound repetitive.

Once again, a reader is likely to get bored.

The description in these sentences is also likely to be very brief.

Because the sentences are so short here, a reader has to keep on stopping and starting, which can ruin their enjoyment of the story.

These are all things we need to make sure we avoid when we're writing our own stories.

We want to engage our reader, and allow them to enjoy what we're writing.

To ensure this, there are certain things we can do to help.

Writers have lots of tools and techniques at their disposal to help ensure a reader is engaged in what they're reading.

Collectively, these tools and techniques are called figurative language, but we'll come to that term in just a moment.

I'm now going to go through three techniques that writers use to ensure a reader is interested in what they're reading.

It's really important to realise that these techniques are not a checklist.

Including them in your work does not automatically make your work engaging.

Writers use these techniques carefully and spend a lot of time thinking about where they're best used in a story.

The first technique a writer may use is a simile.

A simile is where one uses like or as to compare two different things and show a common quality between them.

Let's look at some examples of similes.

Example one: he sat through the film, but it made him feel like he was watching paint dry.

Example two: her hands, which he now placed in his, were as cold as the morning's frost.

Example three, a strange feeling, like an electric current, passed through my body.

Let's look at that first example.

The sentence is describing someone watching a film, but says the film made him feel like he was watching paint dry.

From this, we know that the film must be really boring and incredibly long, and he's definitely not enjoying it.

The use of a simile has told us this.

It's a more interesting way of saying that the film's really dull.

In the second example, we're told that someone's hands are as cold as the morning's frost.

This is more effective than just saying something is cold, because we now have something to compare it to.

We understand just how cold the person is feeling.

In the third sentence, a strange feeling is passing through someone's body.

The feeling is described as being like an electric current.

From this then, we understand that the feeling has shocked the person.

They're not expecting it, and it might be making them feel uncomfortable.

Let's now have a go at writing our own similes.

Pause the video here, copy the sentences and fill in the gaps to create your simile.

If you'd like to, you can create your own similes entirely.

You don't have to use what you see here.

When you've completed the activity, press play, and I'll show you what I've come up with.

Well done; now, remember there are so many ideas we could have included in these sentences.

What you've produced will be very different to what you see on your screen.

Please, don't worry.

There's not a right answer to this activity, but this is what I've come up with.

The small child wept in her mother's arms, his tears falling like small raindrops.

The clouds, like soldiers of the sky, gathered threateningly above me.

Can you remember the definition of a simile? Pause the video here and copy and complete the definition.

When you're ready, press play to find out the answer.

Well done; a simile is where one uses like or as to compare two different things and show a common quality between them.

The second technique we're going to look at today is a metaphor.

There are lots of different types of metaphor, too many to go into into in today's lesson.

However, put very simply, a metaphor is a comparison between two different things.

The comparison is usually made by stating something is something else.

So, unlike a simile where one thing is said to be like another, a metaphor is saying something is something else, even though it's not.

Remember, this is just a simple definition.

There's lots to understand about metaphor, but this is the definition in its most basic form.

It may help to look at some examples of metaphors so that we can understand it further.

Example one: the snow was a white blanket covering the path before me.

Example two: her eyes, deep pools of ocean blue, gazed into the distance.

Example three: the lion bared his teeth, sharp knives waiting to bite into flesh.

Let's take a look at that first example.

If this sentence was a simile, it would read, the snow was like a white blanket covering the path before me, but it's not.

It's a metaphor.

So the comparison is made by saying the snow was a blanket covering the path.

From this description, it's obvious that it has snowed very heavily and the path cannot be seen.

The second example says, her eyes, deep pools of ocean blue, gazed into the distance.

If this was a simile, it would read, her eyes were like deep pools of ocean blue.

However, because it's a metaphor, we are told her eyes are deep pools of ocean blue.

And from this, we understand that her eyes are extremely blue.

The third example does not say the lion's teeth were like sharp knives.

That would make it a simile.

Instead it says the lion's teeth are sharp knives, but of course they're not really, but from this, we understand just how much damage they can cause.

I must stress here that we're talking about metaphor at its most basic form.

There's lots one can do with metaphor, but that's for another lesson.

Using the similar sentence examples, see if you can replace my metaphor with a metaphor of your own.

Metaphors are harder to create than similes, so take your time over this.

If you can't complete both, please don't worry.

But see if you can finish at least one.

If you want to ignore the sentences here and create an entirely new metaphor, feel free to do so.

Pause the video here and then press play when you're done.

As before, there are so many ideas we could have included in these sentences.

What you've produced will be different to what you see on your screen.

Please don't worry.

There's not a right answer to this activity, but this is what I've come up with.

Number one, her eyes, small diamonds, gazed into the distance.

Two, the lion bared his teeth.

They were daggers waiting to bite into flesh.

With this in mind, can you remember the definition of a metaphor? Pause the video here and copy and complete the definition.

When you're ready, press play to find out the answer.

Well done; a metaphor is a comparison between two different things.

The comparison is usually made by stating, something is something else.

If you got any of the missing words correct, give yourself a tick and a pat on the back.

Ensure you make any corrections to your own definition if needed before moving on.

During the next part of the video, I'm going to show you an example of a simile or a metaphor.

I would like you to identify whether you're looking at a simile or metaphor.

Pause the video if you need to, in order to make your choice and then press play to hear the answer.

He was darting about in the water like a fish.

Is this a simile or a metaphor? Pause the video if you need to, and make your choice.

And when you're ready, press play so you can hear the answer.

Well done.

If you picked simile, you're right.

He was darting about in the water, like a fish.

His brain was an encyclopaedia full of knowledge about anything and everything.

Is this a simile or a metaphor? Pause the video and make your choice.

Fantastic.

If you picked metaphor, you'd be correct.

We're saying his brain is an encyclopaedia, not like an encyclopaedia.

So it's a metaphor.

A shooting star flew across the sky, a knife cutting through the darkness.

Is this a simile or a metaphor? Pause the video here and make your choice.

Fantastic.

If you picked metaphor, you'd be correct.

We're saying the shooting star is a knife cutting through the darkness, not like a knife cutting through the darkness.

And so, it's a metaphor.

Her face was as readable as a book.

Is this a simile or a metaphor? Pause the video and make your selection.

Well done.

If you picked simile, you'd be correct.

Her face was as readable as a book.

We're not saying her face is a book, so it can't be a metaphor.

Brilliant work.

The third and final technique we're going to focus on today is called personification.

Personification is giving human feelings and actions to an object or an idea.

This is a basic definition of personification.

There's lots to learn about personification, but today we're just going to focus on the main ideas.

Let's look at some examples.

Example one: as I snuggled down under the blankets, I could hear the wind screaming outside.

This is an example of personification because the wind can't technically scream, but humans can.

However, from this use of personification, we understand that the wind is extremely loud.

Example two: the car engine coughed and groaned as it slowly woke up.

This is an example of personification, because a car engine can't cough and groan, or even wake up.

However, humans can do all of these things.

From the personification used, we know that the car engine is struggling to get going and doesn't sound like it usually should.

Example three: the plants greedily drank the water from the hose pipe.

Again, this is an example of personification, because the plants technically aren't drinking.

Greed is usually a human quality that we wouldn't associate with a plant.

From the personification used here, though, we understand the plants haven't been watered for a long time.

And now that they're being watered, they're sucking up everything they need to function.

Let's have a look at creating personification ourselves.

Using the same sentences, see if you can fill in the blank spaces with a human action to create an example of personification.

If you can't complete both, don't worry, but try and finish at least one.

If you'd like to ignore the sentences here and create your own examples of personification from scratch, feel absolutely free to do so.

Pause the video to complete the task and press play when you're ready.

As before, there are so many ideas we could have included in these sentences.

What you have produced will be different to what you see on your screen.

Please don't worry if that's the case.

There's not a right answer to this activity, but this is what I've come up with.

As I snuggled down under the blankets, I could hear the wind moaning outside.

The car engine wheezed and complained as it slowly protested being woken from its sleep.

Can you remember the definition of personification? Pause the video here and copy and complete the definition.

When you're ready, press play to find out the answer.

Well done; personification is giving human feelings and actions to an object or an idea.

Let's return then to this question.

What is figurative language? Figurative language is a term that encompasses the techniques writers can use to make their texts effective and impactful.

Similes, metaphors, and personification are just three of these techniques.

There are so many more that can be used, although we won't be going into those today.

Now that we're armed with these techniques, let's look at what else we can do to create the best piece of writing possible.

We're going to move on to think about the sentence structures we use to create a really effective piece of creative writing.

Do you remember that example that I showed you right at the beginning of the lesson of a piece of creative writing? One of the things I felt that could be improved was the length of the sentences.

They were all very short and as such, it felt as if I was reading a descriptive list rather than an introduction to a story.

This next part of the lesson is going to help us change that.

Using different sentence structures helps keep our writing fresh and engaging, but how can we fix boring sentences? Let me show you how.

Here, we have a really boring sentence.

The trees were tall.

There's nothing particularly wrong with it.

It's just that it doesn't have that much detail.

It's quite short and could be improved.

So how do I improve this sentence? There are many ways we could improve short, simple sentences.

One of them is to describe something before you reveal what it is you're describing.

Start your sentences with three adjectives, describing words, and then reveal what it is you're describing.

For example, I might start my sentence with tall, old, and creaky.

I'm then going to put a colon, which tells my reader I'm about to reveal what it is that I'm describing.

And then I'll write the rest of my sentence.

Here, I've put the trees loomed over Daniel as he made his way through the forest.

I had to add a little more detail to the sentence.

Otherwise it would read tall, old, creaky: the trees were tall.

And I'd just be repeating myself.

Now, it's your turn.

See if you could improve this sentence about the trees using the method I just showed you.

Pause the video and press play when you're ready.

Here, we have another sentence.

The leaves were orange and yellow.

Again, it could be improved.

So what's another technique one could use? How do I improve this sentence? Well, we could start with a simile.

Remember a simile is where one uses like or as to compare two different things, and show a common quality between them.

Here, I'm going to compare the leaves to flames.

This is what I've come up with.

Like an inferno of flames, the orange and yellow leaves seem to flicker in the breeze.

Notice how I'm letting my simile lead the sentence.

I'm beginning with like, and making the comparison before I explain what I'm talking about.

This is a really easy way of making sure your sentence doesn't begin with the.

It's fine for some sentences to begin with the, but if all of them do, it gets a bit repetitive.

Now it's your turn.

See if you can improve this sentence about the leaves using the method I've shown you.

Pause the video and press play when you're ready.

Here's our next sentence then.

Daniel trudged down the path.

Again, there's nothing wrong with it.

In fact, I really like the use of the word trudged.

It really shows how the character of Daniel is not walking with purpose.

He's going quite slow.

I think there's a lot to be said about how Daniel might be feeling here.

And I'm going to use that information to improve my sentence.

This one is a quick improvement.

I'm going to start my sentence with an adverb.

An adverb is a word that describes a verb, an action.

They usually end in ly.

Here, I'm going to describe how Daniel is trudging.

I think he would do so moodily, so that's what I'm going to start my sentence with.

Moodily, Daniel trudged down the path.

Have a go at improving the sentence using the method I just showed you.

You may want to begin with two adverbs instead of one.

If you like, you can switch the character of Daniel with a character you've made up yourself.

If you want, you can completely rewrite the sentence.

It's completely up to you.

Pause the video here and click play when you're done.

Here's our final sentence then.

He was scared and frightened.

Short, simple, and brief.

I think this sentence could do with a little more detail.

So, I'm going to improve it.

This time, I'm going to use the words so, so, and that to help emphasise just how scared the character really is.

That means I come out with a sentence like this.

He was so scared, so frightened, that he didn't know who to trust.

Look at how I've put the word so in front of my adjectives, my describing words.

The word so really emphasises the adjective.

I've then added the word that.

This tells me the result of what I just emphasised.

In this case, it's telling me what's happening due to the character being scared.

He's so scared and so frightened that he doesn't know who to trust.

Have a go at improving the sentence using the method I've just shown you.

If you want, you can completely rewrite the sentence.

It's completely up to you.

Pause the video here and click play when you're done.

Now, I want us to use everything we have discussed today.

I want us to write an introduction to a story that begins in a forest.

Don't forget to use a simile, metaphor, and personification if appropriate.

Don't forget the sentence improvements we've gone through.

And don't forget the purpose of an introduction from Freytag's Pyramid.

Here's an example of what you could end up with.

Tall, old creaky: the forest which had looked so inviting back in the summer, now loomed threateningly.

Like guards, the trees stood, silent and still, waiting and watching.

Daniel took a deep breath.

He knew his way through this place, having moodily trudged his way along the path many a time.

Today was different though and he couldn't understand why.

This piece includes lots of things we've talked about in this lesson.

Look at how I'm opening the introduction with three adjectives instead of a sentence that begins with the.

I've also started a sentence with a simile: like guards, the trees stood.

Notice how I've also used personification.

I've used these techniques sparingly.

I don't want to crowd my writing with them, so I've only used them when I think they're necessary.

I've also used adverbs like moodily.

Remember, the purpose of the opening of a story is to introduce the setting and the characters, as well as to establish the mood and atmosphere of the story.

And that's what I've done here, with the description of the forest.

Readers understand that this is likely to be a dark and scary tale.

I'm sure you'll agree.

It's a big improvement on the example I showed you at the beginning of the lesson.

Now it's your turn.

Write the introduction to a story that begins in a forest.

Use everything we've discussed today and in previous lessons.

If you're really stuck, look back at my previous slide to help, and continue working on that introduction yourself.

Pause the video to complete your work and press play when you're ready.

Well done; now, if you wish to, it's time to write your story in full.

This is an optional task.

Think back to Freytag's Pyramid to help you plan your story.

If you'd like to, you can continue writing the story you've just started, the one that begins in a forest.

Or, if you have a different idea, you can start again.

It's completely up to you.

Remember, you're writing a short story, so whatever you decide, it should only contain one main character with a small selection of supporting characters.

It should also have one event that should be resolved quickly.

These are the usual rules of short stories, but the rest is up to you.

If you're going to plan your story, pause the video here and press play when you're done.

If you're not, keep the video running.

Now it's time to write your story.

Think of all the knowledge you've gained through this unit to help you.

What makes a good short story? Think of Freytag's Pyramid to help you structure your story.

Don't forget the narrative hooks we looked at, and Propp's character types, as well as the figurative language we've covered in today's lesson.

Don't forget to use your character biographies from last lesson and any other notes you've taken across these four lessons to help you.

This is now about you creating an exciting plot and memorable characters.

Remember, use a wide range of vocabulary and use the sentences we discussed today to help you.

Include similes, metaphors, and personification in your work.

But remember, you shouldn't treat those techniques as a checklist.

Use them only if you think they'll help the reader to understand what you're saying.

Most of all though, enjoy the process of writing.

Creating our own stories is so much fun, and I can't wait to see what you come up with.

This is your moment to shine.

Pause the video here, and when you finished your story, press play.

This brings us to the end of this unit on creative writing.

There are two things I'd like you to do.

Firstly, don't forget to complete the exit quiz once you click off this video.

The quiz asks questions based on knowledge throughout the entire unit.

Secondly, if you can, ask a parent or carer to take a picture of your work, and send it to your teacher so they can see everything that you've been doing today.

If you'd like to, you could also ask your parent or carer to share your work or Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter, tagging @OakNational.

That way, I can read your fantastic stories.

And I'm really excited to see what you've come up with.

Well done for working so hard in today's lesson.

I'm really impressed.

Take care and enjoy the rest of your learning today.