Lesson video

Hello, my name's Ms. Lowe, and I'm going to be your teacher for today's lesson.

Today's lesson is called Death, Grief and Loss, and it fits into the unit Healthy Relationships: How Does Separation and Change Affect Relationships? During this lesson, we are going to be talking about some sensitive content, so we recommend you have an adult with you for today's lesson.

If at any point you feel worried or uncomfortable, it's important to stop the lesson and speak to a trusted adult.

Okay, let's make a start on today's lesson.

By the end of today's lesson, you'll be able to explain the possible impacts of grief and know where to get support.

Before we get started with today's lesson, we need to go over some ground rules.

These help to make sure that everyone feels safe and comfortable during today's lesson.

First of all, Laura says that we need to, "Listen to others.

It's okay to disagree with each other, but we should always listen properly before we make any assumptions or before we decide how to respond to someone else.

When we disagree with someone else, it's important to challenge the statement and not the person themselves." Next, we have Andeep.

He says that, "We need to respect each other's privacy.

We can discuss examples, but we shouldn't use any names or descriptions that could identify anyone, including ourselves." If we do want to share a story, we could refer to someone as my friend.

This means that we're not going to give away any identifying information.

Next, Jacob says, "No judgment.

We can explore any beliefs and misunderstandings that we have about a topic without fear of being judged by others." And finally, Izzy reminds us that we can, "Choose our level of participation.

Everyone has the right to choose not to answer a question or to join in with discussion.

We should never put anyone on the spot." We're now going to take a look at the keywords for today's lesson.

First of all, we have the word grief.

Grief is a physical and emotional response to a loss or bereavement.

Next, we have separation.

In this context, this means losing someone or something important, making you feel a strong sense of loss.

Today's lesson is split into three learning cycles.

Our first learning cycle is called What kind of loss might people go through? Our second learning cycle is called What does grief look or feel like? And our last learning cycle is called where can people get support for grief? Let's make a start on our first learning cycle, what kind of loss might people go through? Most people will experience loss at some point in their lives.

Social worker Natalie tells us that, "Loss is the separation of something or someone significant and important to you.

Loss can include death, but it can also include other things, like moving away or the end of a relationship." All of these things are examples of loss.

Sophia wants to share her experience.

Sophia says, "I experienced loss when we had to move house because of my dad's new job.

I was taken out of school and I had to start over, which meant that I lost touch with some of my friends." Next, Megan wants to share her story.

She says, "I experienced loss when my mom and dad separated.

Things were really tricky at home for a long time as my siblings and I readjusted to new homes and different routines." Jay wants to share his experience.

He says, "I remember being upset at the loss of a relationship when my girlfriend and I broke up.

She entered things with me, but I still liked her a lot, so I found things difficult for a long time." And Jack wants to share his story too.

He says, "When I was little younger, my dream was to be a professional rugby player.

After a leg injury, the doctor told me that I was unlikely to play sport competitively, that loss of an opportunity was hard to accept." Let's do a check for understanding to see how you're doing with this lesson so far.

I'd like you to complete the missing words below.

Social worker Natalie says that, "Loss is the blank of something or someone significant and important to you.

Loss can include blank, but it can also include other things, like moving away or the end of a blank." Where I've said the word blank, can you decide which word is missing? Pause the video, talk to the people around you or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that the missing words were separation, death and relationship.

So social worker Natalie should now say that, "Loss is the separation of something or someone significant and important to you.

Loss can include death, but it can also include other things, like moving away or the end of a relationship." Well done if you said the same thing.

Unlike other forms of loss, death is a permanent separation from another person.

David, who's a youth worker, explains that, "Death is a natural part of life.

Each and every one of us will have to experience the death of a loved one at some point in our lives." Lucas wants to share his experience.

He says that, "My granddad died when I was young.

He was such a big character and the whole family felt the loss.

It took me a long while to accept that he wasn't going to be with me physically anymore." And Heidi wants to share her experience too.

She says that, "My brother died a few years ago from a long-term illness.

He was such a funny character and always made us laugh.

Dealing with that loss was incredibly hard for the whole family, especially as he was so young." Let's do another check for understanding to see how you're doing.

I'd like you to decide which of these statements are true.

A, death is a permanent form of loss, B, only some people will experience the death of a loved one, and finally, C, everyone experiences the death of a loved one at some point.

Which of those statements are true? Pause the video, talk to the people around you or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that A and C are correct.

Death is a permanent form of loss and everyone experiences the death of a loved one at some point.

Well done if you said the same thing.

We're now moving on to our first practice task, and well done for your hard work so far.

I'd like you to read the accounts below, and for each one I'd like you to describe what kind of loss they're experiencing.

Sneha says, "One of my best friends has changed a lot since she went to college.

She's got a new group of friends and we hardly see each other anymore.

I really miss her.

On the rare occasions that we do catch up, we don't seem to have much in common to chat about." Here's our next scenario.

Kurt says, "My boyfriend has just got a football scholarship and will be moving abroad.

Although we plan to try to visit each other when we can, we're both worried that things aren't going to be the same anymore." Jem says, "I've been training to be a gymnast since I was three years old.

Recently, I injured my ankle, which means that I now struggle to do some of the jumps.

My coach has dropped me from the team and I don't think I'll be able to compete again." For all of these scenarios, can you describe which type of loss that they are experiencing? Pause the video and we'll go through what you might have said in a few minutes.

Okay, let's see what you might have said.

For Sneha's scenario, you might have said that Sneha is experiencing the loss of a relationship.

For Kurt's experience, you might have said that he's experiencing loss because someone important to them is moving away.

For Jem's experience, you might have said that they're experiencing the loss of a dream or an opportunity.

Well done if you said the same thing.

It's now time to move on to our second learning cycle, what does grief look or feel like? Grief is a very natural and personal reaction to loss.

Dr.

Elsie explains that, "When an individual experiences the separation of a loved one, they may show grief through an emotional response.

However, it's important to remember that this will be different from person to person.

There isn't a right or a wrong way to grieve." Grief can impact a person's physical wellbeing.

Some common effects may include changes to sleep patterns, such as struggling to fall or stay asleep, changes in appetite, such as not wanting to eat or eating more than usual, and changes to mental health, so such as feelings of anxiety, depression or experiencing panic attacks.

Grief can lead to a range of feelings: shock, confusion, intense sadness, exhaustion, numbness, guilt, anger, and loneliness.

When someone experiences grief, it's normal for them to feel lots of different feelings, such as the ones on the screen.

Remember that there's no right or wrong way to feel if we're experiencing grief.

Heidi wants to share more about her story.

She says that, "After my brother died, I remember going through lots of different emotions, sometimes all at once.

At first, I just felt numb.

He was there one minute but gone the next, and it was very surreal.

Then the shock kicked in, followed by overwhelming sadness.

I cried for weeks on end.

Even now, years on, I feel guilty that I didn't spend more time with him when I had the chance." Lucas wants to tell us more about his experience too.

He says that, "When granddad died, we were all devastated.

I remember my mum crying a lot, whereas I just felt angry! It didn't seem fair that my friends still had their grandparents but that I'd lost mine.

It's been years since he died, but we still find certain times of the year really hard.

His birthday, Christmas and big family events are a reminder that he's not with us anymore." Let's do a check for understanding to see how you're doing with this learning cycle.

I'd like you to name three feelings that a person might experience during grief.

Pause the video, talk to the people around you or have a think to yourself.

Okay, let's see what you might have said.

You could have said any of the following answers: intense sadness, shock, confusion, exhaustion, numbness, anger, guilt, and loneliness.

Well done if you remembered any of these feelings.

Sometimes people refer to the five stages of grief.

Social worker Natalie explains that, "In reality, grief is a complex set of emotions and feelings.

They do not necessarily appear in a specific order or at a certain time.

However, the feelings described in these stages may be common to those experiencing grief, and they can help us to understand how someone might be feeling if they're grieving." Let's take a look at the five stages of grief.

So first of all, the first stage is considered to be denial, so thinking something like, "This can't be happening." The next stage is anger, so thinking things like, "Why am I going through this?" The next stage is bargaining, "If only I'd seen the signs sooner." The next stage is depression, "I don't want to cope without them." And finally, the last stage is acceptance, so thinking things like, "I can look forward to things again." Remember that the five stages of grief don't necessarily apply to everyone.

They might not necessarily happen in this order or someone might not experience these things at all.

It can just be helpful to be aware of these stages so that if someone that we know is grieving or if we are grieving ourselves, we can recognize some of the feelings or the thoughts that we might be having.

Dealing with grief can be incredibly hard.

Grief doesn't usually go away, however, our lives can grow around grief with time.

We can imagine grief and our life a little bit like this.

When we first experience loss, we can feel like the grief is bigger than our own life.

As time passes, our life can begin to grow.

The grief stays the same size, but our life continues to grow around it.

When it's been a long time after we've experienced loss, we might feel a bit more like this.

Again, the grief is the same size, but our life has grown around it.

Let's do a check for understanding to see how you're doing.

I'd like you to decide if the statement is true or false.

Grief is a natural response to a loss.

What do you think? Is this true or false? Pause the video, talk to the people around you or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that this is true, grief is a natural response to a loss.

It's normal for everyone who experiences a loss to grieve, but remember that grief can look different for everyone, involving lots of different feelings and experiences.

Well done if you said the same thing.

We're now moving on to our second practice task, and well done for your hard work.

For this task, I'd like you to label the five phases of grief in the diagram below.

Pause the video and we'll go through your completed diagram in a few minutes.

Okay, let's see what you might have said.

You might have said that the first phase is denial, so thinking things like, "This can't be happening." The second phase is anger, thinking things like, "Why am I going through this?" The third phase is bargaining, thinking things like, "If only I'd seen the signs sooner." The next stage is depression, "I don't want to cope without them." And finally, acceptance, thinking things like, "I can look forward to things again." Well done if your diagram looks anything like this.

We're now moving on to our final learning cycle, where can people get support for grief? Some people may think that grief always involves crying or feeling sad.

Social worker Natalie explains that, "Feeling sad and crying are not the only signs of grief.

People grieve in different ways.

For some people, this might mean feeling angry, numb or staying silent.

For others, they may laugh as a coping mechanism.

Everyone should be able to experience grief in their own way without judgment for it." There are also many cultural and personal beliefs that shape how people process death and loss.

Social worker Natalie explains that "Cultural or personal beliefs can influence what someone thinks happens to their loved ones after they've died.

Even if these ideas and beliefs are different to your own, it's really important to be compassionate, kind and respectful as others experience grief and loss." Let's do a check for understanding to see how you're doing with this learning cycle.

Which of the following statements are true? A, feeling sad and crying are the only signs of grief, B, people grieve in different ways, C, cultural and personal beliefs do not influence grief, or finally, D, cultural and personal beliefs can influence grief.

Which of those statements are true? Pause the video, talk to the people around you or have a think to yourself Well done if you said that B and D are true.

It's true that people grieve in different ways and that cultural and personal beliefs can influence grief.

Well done if you said the same thing.

Carrying the weights of grief alone can be exhausting.

Sharing the load with family or friends can help to make things feel a little bit lighter.

Lucas says that, "My best friend was a great support to me after I lost my granddad.

Some days she'd just sit and listen without judgment while I told her exactly how I was feeling.

Other days, she'd ask if I needed a hug and I'd cry on her shoulder to let my emotions out.

She'd also message me routinely to see how I was doing." Sometimes people may need more specialized support than what family or friends can provide, so professional support might be needed if grief becomes overwhelming, if it lasts for a prolonged period of time, or if it begins to impact everyday life, like being able to go to school, go to work and managing personal hygiene.

Professional support could come from a doctor or GP, helplines run by charities, grief counselors and peer support groups.

Heidi says that, "For about a year after my brother died, I still felt very depressed.

I lost focus at university, stopped seeing friends, and I just didn't feel like I had anything to look forward to.

My friends were supportive, but they couldn't really understand what I was going through.

I finally went to speak to my GP and they gave me a referral for a grief counselor and a peer support group.

With specialized support, I was able to process my grief in a healthier way." Let's do another check for understanding to see how you're doing.

Where could professional support for grief come from? Can you remember? Pause the video, talk to the people around you or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that professional support for grief can come from a doctor or GP, helplines run by charities, grief counselors or peer support groups.

Well done if you said the same thing.

Okay, we're now moving on to your final practice task, and well done for your hard work in this lesson.

For this task, I'd like you to read the following account and decide on the support that Sandra might need.

Sandra says, "My partner died from an illness over a year ago.

Since then, I suffered with constant anxiety and panic attacks.

I rarely leave the house and ended up losing my job.

A few of my friends tried to support me at the beginning, but they stopped contacting me as they don't really know what to say anymore." Can you decide on the support that Sandra might need? Pause the video and we'll go through a model answer in a few minutes.

Okay, let's see what you might have said.

You might have said that, "Sandra is struggling with the death of a loved one.

She's experiencing a grief which is overwhelming, prolonged and it's starting to impact their everyday life.

For example, she stopped leaving the house and she's lost her job.

Sandra should seek professional support from a GP, a charity, a grief counselor, or a peer support group." Well done if you said this or had some similar ideas.

We're now going to summarize the key learning from today's lesson.

In today's lesson, we've learned that loss is the separation of something or someone important to you.

Maybe that's through death, moving away or the end of a relationship.

Death is a permanent loss or separation, which everyone will experience at some point in their lives.

Grief is a very natural and personal emotional response to loss, and it'll look different for everyone.

As well as leading to a range of feelings, grief can impact a person's physical wellbeing, for instance, changes to appetite or changes to their mental health.

Feeling sad and crying are not the only signs of grief.

Some people might feel angry, numb or just stay silent.

Everyone experiences grief in their own way.

Professional support is available if grief becomes overwhelming, prolonged or begins to impact everyday life.

During today's lesson, you might have found that you've got some worries or questions, and if you do, it's really important that you share these with a trusted adult.

There's also some resources on the screen that are there to help you too.

Well done for your hard work today.

I hope to see you again soon.