Lesson video

Descriptive writing, what is it? Well let's clarify this before we begin.

A description paints a picture of a scene, person or experience in the reader's mind.

It focuses on a moment in time or a contrast between two points in time.

And in order to be successful in our descriptive writing, I'd like us to consider the following three categories.

And again, it might be a point where you want to pause, take control of your learning and jot down some of these ideas under these three elements on your piece of paper.

So descriptive writing as our title.

And it's the idea of painting a picture in your reader's mind.

How are we going to do that? Well, through our organisation, through our vocabulary selection and through demonstrating good technical control.

So our first column, organisation.

We need to engage and convince our reader.

And in order to do that, we need to make sure that our ideas are linked and developed.

So we need to make sure that we are generating content that sequences in a logical way and in an engaging way.

So linked and developed ideas.

And that's where it leads into the final bullet point there, structured for effect with deliberate choices.

As we've been reading extracts from various writers, we've always considered the structure and the first, next, then finally choices they are making.

And we talked about the what and why now? Well, that would be a really good thing for you to transfer to your own writing.

What are you going to talk about in the opening? Why then, how are you then going to shift to the next part? What's the connection back to the beginning going to be? Okay, and this is where we really can bring all the different aspects of our learning together and make sure that we are learning from the writers themselves in what we're doing.

And that's who you are today.

You are a writer designing your piece of writing.

Now in terms of vocabulary, we've got another familiar word here and I've used the word precise vocabulary choices.

I haven't put, use the biggest words you can possibly think of because that's not what descriptive writing is about.

It's not about offloading, lots of vocabulary in almost like a scattergun approach.

It's about selection and it's about precision.

What word are you going to use at that moment in order to achieve a particular effect.

And similarly with your use of linguistic devices, you can put in alliteration, similes, metaphors, adjectives, adverbs, symbolism, but you need to think about why, and you need to think about when, within your piece, you're going to use those.

And if we do that effectively, we'll be able to sustain a style and a tone throughout.

This is another issue that often happens with pieces of writing.

People often have a fantastic opening paragraph, and particularly when it's timed writing, a fantastic opening, but then it's really difficult to keep going.

And what we need to do is to make sure that we actually plan.

And I do think it's a planning issue.

Make sure that we've actually planned where our piece of writing is going to go so that you take the pressure off yourself when it comes to the actual response.

The final thing under technical control, I could include spelling.

I could include include grammar.

I haven't at this point, because what I've selected is your use of punctuation, because I think this can really add to your work and it can be quite a straightforward thing that we can work on mastering.

Some things like spelling.

Unfortunately, some of us can spell really well and some of us can't, and that's really difficult, and I don't want it to be wary of your vocabulary for fear of spelling something incorrectly.

If there's a choice, always go for the word choice that you want to use, even if you're not quite sure of the spelling.

However, what we can do, is to get better with our punctuation.

And we can make sure that we are thinking about our use of full stops, commas, question marks, exclamation marks, apostrophes and speech marks.

Those I would consider to be standard punctuation, the things that we definitely need to master.

And then in addition, if we can start to use colons and semi-colons, brackets and dashes, that's great.

All of those things add up to a versatile punctuation range that you can use to enhance the meaning of your writing.

And that's what we really need to focus on.

I don't want to necessarily say that you should be using all of that punctuation.

It's not a checklist, but it is the list from which we can draw.

And that message is actually being consistent with the vocabulary too.

It's not about offloading.

It's about selection.

It's about precision.

It's about deliberate choices.

Let's try this out then.

So what we're going to do today is to work through a range of different planning tools that could help you with a descriptive writing response and a descriptive writing response with a stimulus image.

So that is the premise that we're working with.

So the first thing I would like you to do in a moment is to draw the table that's going to appear on the next screen.

You going to draw the table on your piece of paper, taking the whole of the page.

And I would like you to respond to the prompts with your initial ideas.

Once you're ready, restart the video.

Welcome back.

So the first thing I'd like to talk about is this idea of a box planning.

Some of you might be familiar with this, however, in case you're not, let's have a little think about it.

So we've got an image of the window frame and the first decision I'm going to make is whereabouts I'm positioned.

And I think I will be on the inside of this image.

And from there, I'm going to think about how I am going to move around the scene and select different focal points.

So my first focal point is going to be the whole of the view.

So you can see that I've actually got a red box around the whole of the image.

And from my position on the inside of this scene, I'm going to describe the whole scene.

And then going to move to the box in the right hand corner and zoom in on that particular detail.

So something catches my eye.

And then going to consider how I'm going to travel from the inside, through the glass, to the outside.

And again, I'm going to move around the image, selecting boxes and considering.

So I've got an image that takes me through the glass.

I've got an image in the distance that's quite bright on the left hand side.

And I've got an image at the top where I'm focusing on the trees above, and it might be that there's something in the trees that I want to describe, that catches my attention.

And with these images, there's always the sort of caveat of use this as a stimulus.

So it's a starting point.

You look at the image.

You don't have to literally describe only what you see in the image.

There is an element of imagination where you can add to it, and this is a stimulus image.

Okay, so that first idea is of box planning.

We're going to pause again.

So what I'd like you to do is to look at the next screen and on that screen, you are going to see the image on small.

I would like you to look at the image again, and this time you have the following as a focus.

I'd like you to think about, number one, how you're going to move around the image.

And I'd like it to think about your sequence one to five.

We're using five, and I should say this actually, we're using five because if you have five good paragraphs, if each box generates one paragraph, you will automatically produce approximately two sights of writing, which is generally what we're being asked to do when we're given a timed piece of writing to do.

So, it's quite a useful gauge of the volume that you should be writing.

And it's really important that we have these very crafted pieces of writing rather than just keeping writing for the sake of it.

So thinking about things in quite a contained way can be really helpful.

So, just a little bit of a digression there, but I think it's important to point out.

Number one, you're going to look at the image and think about how you're going to move around it this time, and you're going to number your sequence of movements.

You're secondly, going to think about descriptive details.

So I suggested that there might have been a bird in the trees.

So what am I seeing, hearing as I noticed the bird in the trees.

What sounds, how am I going to describe them, what descriptive detail can I add.

And at this point you would possibly need to redraw that table if there isn't enough space, that's not a problem, but redrawing the table, focusing this time on descriptive detail and also the sequence that you will be working through.

So box planning, generating your vocabulary.

I would suggest five minutes on this activity and then restart and join me at the other side.

Welcome back.

Now the next phase for us to consider is, firstly around the vocabulary, how precise were your vocabulary choices.

And what we can see on screen at the moment are all words.

On the top two rows: inviting, charming, picturesque, idyllic, beckoning, beguiling, enticing, tempting.

Positive words that describe the view on the other side of the window pane.

However, they have different meanings, nuances, they create a different feeling and that precision is really important.

So the next step for us is to really review our vocabulary choices and consider the precision with which we're using them.

Along the bottom, you will see antonyms; barren, bleak, inhospitable, desolate.

And it's interesting if we were going to describe a scene and wanted to go down the route of changing the mood, we could consider a change happening and then introducing opposite vocabulary chains within our piece of description to suggest that movement through the text.

And this movement is the next point I also want to bring in before I get you to review your work once more.

So precision, you're checking the precision, but also checking whether structure, sequence that you've got generates both pace and energy as you're reading through.

Let me just explain that a little bit more.

Now this isn't the narrative pyramid because we're not writing a narrative.

However, as you plan your response, I want you to think about that image and that transferable image is quite useful because it's really helpful in our memory if we've got key things that we can then repeat and remind ourselves.

So when we do writing, what do we need? We need to have five phases to the writing.

We need to have either in a narrative, the full narrative pyramid considered, or in this case, as we're doing descriptive writing, generating something that mimics what a narrative pyramid would do in terms of creating pace and energy.

So we need to think about creating movements.

So from our opening, remember my opening was on the inside and I was looking, I could be like Inman, in a bed looking up towards the window.

Then what did I do? I zoomed in on a detail on the window cell and the climactic point was my looking at the glass and really focusing on that.

So I might have quite an intricate description of the glass and use that as my climactic point and then perhaps going to zoom out and then at the end, bring my story to a different conclusion.

So as I'm working through, I'm thinking about my piece of writing and I'm thinking about the movement that I am generating through the piece and thinking about whether I'm zooming in, zooming out, what I am doing.

Now, I accidentally just said a story there, didn't I? Right at the end I said what, how am I story will end.

And do you know what it's, it's actually quite difficult to write a description without introducing some sort of characterization if you put yourself in it and this idea that you are doing something.

Don't worry too much about that.

As long as the dominant skill that you are demonstrating is description, that's absolutely fine, but it will happen, that it's quite interchangeable when we write a narrative we put description in too.

So let's not worry too much about that, but we are particularly focusing on the description driving the force of our piece of writing.

And so I'm going to think about my movement through, and when I get to the end of my piece of writing, I need to think about how I'm going to complete that.

And am I going to contrast the scene that I was describing at the opening, or am I going to then enhance that within my description by really bringing out certain words and features.

So the next step that I would you to do is to focus on those two elements.

To look at your vocabulary choices and consider how precise you have been.

Does it have the effect you really wanted? And as you're considering those vocabulary choices, think about what pace you are creating.

Is it slow to start with? Does it reach a crescendo at the climactic point when you really zoom in on a particular detail? Is there some sense of texture? And sometimes I describe this as sort of like moving through gears in a car where you can feel that the piece is accelerating and it's generating more energy.

So that is the next step for you.

You're going to refine your planning, go back to it, look at the sequence, look at the vocabulary and make sure that you have considered precision and texture.

Once you are happy with your plan, please do rejoin me again.

And welcome back.

So let's have a little look at our writer and I hinted that we can be looking at our writers for inspiration, because why wouldn't we, we are looking at models of how to approach the skill that we're looking at today, which is descriptive detail.

So what did Frazier do? Well, he used the window frame and why? Well, it's a tool to suggest the outside and the inside world and the conflict in Inman's mind.

That's his purpose, isn't it? When he's doing his description of the room, he deliberately chooses to have that as the central feature throughout his description.

It anchors the whole of the piece.

Can we also remember that this was done with our very first story, "The Tiredness of Rosabel" and when Rosabel was sat on the bus, she also had a moment where she looked through a window and it was again, a moment that suggested a sense of separation, a sense of her feeling that she wanted to be on the other side, but she was stuck in a certain position, but it also suggested her separation from the other people on the bus.

Let's remind ourselves of those things.

So in "The Tiredness of Rosabel", Rosabel looked out of the windows, the street was blurred and misty, but light striking the panes turned their dullness to opal and silver, and the jeweler's shops seen through this were fairy palaces.

In "Cold Mountain".

That summer, Inman had viewed the world as if it were a picture framed by the moulding around the window.

He believed the scene would never leave his mind; wall, blind man, tree, cart, road.

Both of our protagonists felt that conflict between themselves and the society that they lived in.

And this was indicated through the image of the glass, which, where they use as a barrier.

And this is the final thing that I want you to consider.

Within your piece of writing, is there a bigger picture idea that you could be generating that you haven't done as yet? Have you considered the conflicts that could arise from the stimulus image that we've had? And you've got a reminder there of the four types of conflict.

To finish the learning for today, you have a recap quiz to complete.

All that remains for me to say, is thank you for your focus and enjoy the rest of your learning today.