Hello, my name is Miss Willow and I'm going to be teaching you today's lesson.

Today's lesson is called Maintaining Friendships and it fits into the unit Healthy Relationships: How can I be a great friend? During this lesson, we're going to be talking about some sensitive content, so we recommend that you have an adult with you for the duration of this lesson.

If at any point you do feel worried or uncomfortable, it's really important that you close the screen and that you go and speak to a trusted adult.

Okay, let's make a start on today's learning.

By the end of today's lesson, you will be able to describe how to maintain good friendships during difficult times.

Before we get started with today's learning, we need to go over some ground rules.

These help to make sure that everyone feels safe and comfortable throughout today's lesson.

Laura says that we need to listen to others.

This means we are not going to interrupt other people if they're speaking.

Andeep says we need to respect each other's privacy.

This means we're not going to ask anyone any personal questions, as this can make some people feel uncomfortable.

Jacob says, "No judgement ." This means if someone chooses to share a story or an experience, we are not going to judge them for it.

And finally, Izzy says that we can choose our level of participation.

This means it's up to us how much we want to join in.

We are now going to go through the keywords for today's learning.

These are gonna pop up quite a few times in today's lesson, so it's important that we have a good understanding of what each word means.

First of all, we have the word friendship.

This is a relationship between friends, built on trust and care.

Maintain: in this context, this means putting in effort to keep a relationship healthy and working.

Effort: this means to work hard at something.

And finally, needs: these are the things that we want to have for us to feel happy and comfortable.

Today's lesson is split into three learning cycles.

Our first learning cycle is called: What could make it harder to maintain friendships? Our second learning cycle is called: Do we all need the same things from friendships? And finally, our last learning cycle is called: How can we maintain friendships? Let's make a start on our first learning cycle: What can make it harder to maintain friendships? Sometimes a friendship is easy to maintain.

This might be because we see our friend during the week at school.

Maybe we live nearby to our friend.

We might be able to visit them regularly.

We might enjoy doing the same things and we might have lots of time to see each other.

However, some life events can make it a little bit harder to maintain a friendship.

For example, if we move house and we move further away from our friend.

If we move schools and we don't see them as often as we used to.

We might become busier, for example, we might join new clubs.

And we might develop different interests so we have less in common with our friends.

It can be harder to find the time and the energy to maintain friendships, especially as we get older.

Megan says, "When I went to secondary school, it became harder to maintain my friendships with primary school friends as we didn't see each other most days like we used to.

However, we all make an effort to try and speak to each other most days and we see each other on some weekends." Let's do a check for understanding to see how you're doing with this learning cycle.

I'd like you to decide, is Andeep correct? Andeep says, "When I go to secondary school, I won't be able to stay friends with any of my primary school friends.

You can only stay friends if you see each other every day." What do you think? Is Andeep correct? Pause the video, tell the person next to you, tell me or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that Andeep is not correct.

But why? You might have said that Andeep is incorrect because we can still maintain friendships with people we don't go to school with anymore, but it can be a little bit harder.

We may need to make more of an effort to maintain the friendship.

Well done if you said this or something similar.

Our hobbies and our interests are also likely to change as we get older, and this can mean that we have less in common with our friends than before.

Jacob wants to share his story.

Jacob says, "I used to really enjoy football, but as I got older I started to become more creative.

I started to not have as much in common with my friends from football, so we drifted apart.

It was sad at the time, but now I've got some different friends who enjoy painting and music like me.

Some even like football too." It takes both people to put time, effort, and care into maintaining a friendship.

It can be hard to maintain a friendship if one person isn't making as much effort as the other.

Izzy shares her story: "I've tried to keep in touch with my friends from my last dance class, but they don't always respond or suggest when we can meet up.

This makes it hard to maintain the friendship because I feel like I'm doing all the work." It's typical to have different friends at different times in our lives and a friendship coming to an end isn't always a bad thing.

Some friendships aren't healthy, and when one friendship ends, it can allow us to put more time and effort into exciting new friendships.

Friendships can be seen as a bit like a bus journey.

When one person gets off, it allows space for another person to get on.

Let's do another check for understanding.

This time I'd like you to decide which are reasons that a friendship could become harder to maintain? Is it, A: going to different schools, B: changing hobbies and interests, or C: both people making an effort? What do you think? Pause the video, tell the person next to you, tell me or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that A and B are correct.

A friendship could become harder to maintain if the people in the friendship go to different schools or they change hobbies and interests.

We are now moving on to our first practise task and you've done a brilliant job so far, keep it up.

For this task, I'd like you to describe three scenarios where it could be harder to maintain a friendship.

In your answer, I'd like you to use the words: schools, maintain, effort, and hobbies.

Pause the video and we'll go through the potential answer in a few minutes.

Okay, let's see what you might have said.

You might have said that it could be harder to maintain a friendship if someone moves schools as friends won't see each other as often anymore.

It also takes time and effort to maintain a friendship which can become harder as we get older.

Our hobbies and interests can also change through life, so we might have less in common with our friends.

And finally, you might have said that it can be hard to maintain a friendship if only one person in the friendship is making an effort.

Well done if you had any of these or if you had something similar.

It's time to move on to our second learning cycle: Do we all need the same things from friendships? We all need things from our friends, such as affection and listening when we share our feelings.

This will look different for everyone as everyone has different needs.

Henry says, "It's important not to assume the needs of our friends.

Being able to talk about our own needs is a green flag in a friendship and it suggests that the friendship is healthy.

But it's important to remember that our needs can change over time too and they can even change day to day." There are lots of different ways that we can show affection to our friends and we should ask our friends what they feel comfortable with.

Remember that everyone is different and likes to receive affection in different ways.

We can give our friends hugs, give them compliments, give them help if they need it, and we can also celebrate their achievements.

All of these show affection, but it's important to ask our friends what they feel most comfortable with.

Not everyone, for example, likes to have hugs, so it's important that we respect our friends' boundaries.

We also need our friends to listen to us, especially when we share our feelings as this can be tricky.

Listening is about more than just hearing our friends when they talk.

Listening properly means: focusing on what our friends are saying, considering how they feel, and knowing whether they want someone to listen or to offer advice.

Friends will all have different needs because everyone's unique.

And good friends ask what their friends need if they're not sure.

Laura says, "I love hugs, but not all my friends do, so I always ask before I hug someone." And Jun says, "If my friend shares how they feel, I ask if they want me to listen or to offer advice." This shows great communication and it shows that they really care about their friends' needs.

Let's do another check for understanding to see how you're doing with this learning cycle.

For this task, I'd like you to decide if this statement is true or false.

Friends all have the same needs.

What do you think? Is this true or false? Pause the video, tell the person next to you, tell me or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that this is false.

But why? You might have said that everyone is different and has different needs.

For example, some people like hugs and others don't, and some people just want someone to listen when they're sharing how they feel and they don't want them to give advice.

Well done if you had this or something similar.

We all have different social needs, which means that we enjoy spending time with friends in different ways and for different amounts of time.

Some people prefer to spend more time alone or they need time to reflect after spending time with friends.

People like this still really value connection and friendship, but they do also need some time alone to recharge and feel happy and comfortable.

Other people feel more of a need to spend time with friends and they get their energy from being around people.

These people may still need time on their own now and again, but they may not feel this as much as people who prefer to spend time alone.

One of these isn't better than the other.

Everyone is different and has different needs.

Good friends celebrate each other's differences, and they never make us feel like we need to change who we are.

Alex says, "Lucas uses a powered wheelchair, which means that we're able to play lots of different games together.

He's great at playing tag." Alex is a good friend because he's celebrating his differences with his friends.

Aisha wants to ask a question.

She asks, "What happens if two people are friends but one wants to spend more time alone and the other wants to spend more time together? Are they still able to be friends?" This is a really good question, Aisha.

Farah says, "Of course! It might just take a bit of balance and compromise." Remember, compromise means coming to an agreement that everyone feels happy with.

"For example, if one person wants to spend time alone, the other can see some different friends.

It can also be fun to do something alone, like read and draw, while still being together." Let's do another check for understanding.

Can you decide which words are missing? We all have different social blank.

Some people need more time blank to recharge and reflect, and others get their energy from spending time with blank.

Good friends blank each other's differences and blank make us feel like we need to change who we are.

Which words are missing? Pause the video, tell the person next to you, tell me or have a think to yourself.

Okay, let's see what those missing words were.

Our missing words were: needs, alone, friends, celebrate and never.

Well done if you had these words in the correct places.

We're now moving on to our second practise task and I'd like you to give two reasons why Sam is incorrect.

Here's what Sam has to say: "Everyone has the same social needs, so if someone says that they need to spend more time on their own, it means that they don't really value your friendship.

Someone who enjoys spending lots of time with their friends can't be friends with someone who prefers to spend time alone." Can you give two reasons why Sam is incorrect? Pause the video and we'll go through some potential answers in a few minutes.

Okay, let's see what you might have said.

You might have said that Sam is incorrect because everyone has different social needs.

Some people need to spend more time alone than with friends, whilst others prefer to spend time with people.

A friend who needs time to recharge after spending time together can still value the friendship.

They just need some time alone to feel happy and comfortable too.

Someone who prefers to spend time with others and someone who prefers time alone can still be friends.

They may just need to balance each other's needs and compromise at times.

Well done if you had this or something similar.

You've done a brilliant job so far.

Keep it up.

We're now moving on to our final learning cycle: How can we maintain friendships? One way that we can maintain a friendship is by keeping in contact with our friend.

This could mean that we make time to talk to them in the day.

We could do what we can to see them.

We could send them online messages, as long as we have a trusted adult's permission.

We can ask our trusted adults to help us to maintain friendships too.

Jacob wants to share his story.

Jacob says, "My mum helps me to arrange meeting up with my friends outside of school.

This means that I can see them more often, which helps me to maintain my friendships with them, as we're still able to play together." This is a really great idea of how we can maintain a friendship.

It's important to put effort into learning about our friends' lives to maintain the friendship too.

This is especially true as we get older, as it might become harder to see them often, and we might have different things in common too.

Andeep says, "I always make sure to ask my friends how they're doing and I try to remember their interests.

My friend Jacob loves painting, so I ask him if he's painted anything that he's proud of recently." This is a really great way to put effort into a friendship and to show our friend that we really value the friendship that we have with them.

Let's do a check for understanding to see how you're doing with this learning cycle.

Can you decide which are two ways that we can maintain a friendship? Is it A: wait for our friend to contact us, B: make time to see our friends, or C: talk to our friends when we can? What do you think? Pause the video, tell the person next to you, tell me or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that B and C are correct.

We can maintain a friendship by making time to see our friends and talking to our friends when we can.

Well done if you got this right.

We need to make an effort to include people when we want to maintain a friendship.

This might mean inviting someone to join a game that we're playing.

It might mean inviting someone to a party or encouraging someone to join in.

We can also compromise so that everyone feels happy and comfortable.

When we don't include people, they can feel left out and they can worry that we don't value their friendship.

To maintain our friendships, especially as we gain new friends, it can be helpful to still spend time with some of our old friends so that everyone feels included.

Megan says, "Even though I have lots of new friends at secondary school, I still make sure to spend time with my friends from primary school.

We even met up for my birthday recently." If we don't want to maintain a friendship anymore, this is okay.

We don't have to maintain all of our friendships.

It's important to end the friendship kindly and we should never ignore someone.

Farah says that "A trusted adult can help us to end a friendship kindly if we are not sure how to do it ourselves." Let's do another check for understanding.

This time I'd like you to decide is Sofia correct? Sofia says, "We don't have to maintain a friendship if we don't want to, but we should end the friendship kindly.

It's never okay to ignore a friend." What do you think? Pause the video, tell the person next to you, tell me or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that Sofia is correct.

We don't have to maintain any friendships that we don't want to, but it's important that we end the friendship kindly and respectfully and remember that if we're a little unsure about how to do this, we can ask a trusted adult for help.

We're now moving on to your final practise task and you've worked so hard so far.

Well done.

For this task, I'd like you to give two pieces of advice to Jun on how he can maintain a friendship.

Jun says, "My friend is moving schools and I'm worried that we won't be able to be friends anymore.

Can you give me some advice on how we can stay friends?" Pause the video and we'll go through some potential answers in a few minutes.

Okay, let's see what you might have said.

You might have said that Jun can maintain his friendship with this person by keeping in touch with them.

He should still make time to see them and to talk to them, even if this isn't as often as before, and he could send them messages online with his trusted adult's permission.

He could also include them when he can.

For example, if he has a party, he could invite them so that they feel included.

Well done if you had this or something similar.

We are now going to summarise the key learning from today's lesson.

In today's lesson, we have learned that some life events such as moving schools or changing hobbies can make it hard to maintain a friendship.

We've learned that it can be hard to find the time and energy to make an effort to maintain friendships as we get older and our lives change.

We all have different needs and good friends accept each other's different needs, or they ask if they're not sure what they are.

Good friends listen to each other and they give attention in ways that suit their friends' needs.

And finally, we've learned that we need to make an effort to include people and to stay in contact if we want to maintain a friendship.

In today's lesson, you might have found that you've got some worries or some questions, and it's really important that you share how you feel with a trusted adult.

There's also some organisations on the screen that are there to help you too.

Well done for your fantastic hard work in today's lesson.

I'm really proud of you and I hope to see you in another lesson soon.