Lesson video

Hi everybody, it's Ms. Gardner.

Welcome to your next lesson from our unit, Jabberwocky narrative writing.

Thank you so much for coming to join today's lesson.

I'm really looking forward to it 'cause we are going to be planning the climax, the most exciting moment of the narrative.

So let's get started.

In today's lesson from our unit, Jabberwocky narrative writing.

We are planning the climax.

So your learning outcome is I can plan the climax of a narrative based on Jabberwocky.

Let's start by looking at the key words.

We'll do my turn, your turn.

Plan, notes, ambitious vocabulary, show-not-tell language, dialogue.

Let's have a look at what these mean.

A plan is a framework that writers create before they write a section or a whole text.

Notes are written outta full sentences.

Ambitious vocabulary is high level language in writing that meets the text's purpose.

Show-not-tell language is a writing technique for showing a character's feelings with descriptions of their actions, body language and facial expressions.

Dialogue is the written conversation between two characters or more within a narrative.

So there are two sections of our lesson today.

In the first we'll be preparing to plan, and in the second we'll be writing the plan.

So let's start with preparing to plan.

Jabberwocky can be structured like this, an opening, a buildup, both of which we've already written.

A climax and then the resolution.

In this lesson, we are planning the climax.

So the purpose of the climax is to do all of these.

Describe the main action, the most exciting action, and to take the tension and excitement to its highest point.

So checking for understanding, the purpose of the climax is A, to introduce a problem, B, to describe the main action, C, to introduce the characters or D, to take the attention and excitement to its highest point.

Pause the video now.

That's right.

It is to B, describe the main action and D to take the tension and the excitement to its highest point.

Well done.

So descriptive climax should describe the main action in detail and create this vivid image in the reader's mind.

We can achieve this through precise descriptions and by using ambitious vocabulary to paint this vivid picture.

Our descriptive climax should be exciting and memorable as it contains the most dramatic moments of the story.

So let's review the key moments of the climax.

Firstly, the ferocious Jabberwock moved closer and closer to the boy.

The boy then threatened the Jabberwock with his sword.

This enraged the Jabberwock made him really angry.

So it lunged at the boy.

The boy swiped his sword and he beheaded the Jabberwock.

So he removed the Jabberwock's head.

So these are the four key moments in their most simple terms. We are going to be describing them in lot more detail when it comes to us writing the climax.

So let's just check for understanding.

Put the key moments of the climax in the correct order.

Here are your four key moments.

You need to number them, 1, 2, 3, and 4.

Pause the video now.

Off you go.

Okay, welcome back.

So the first moment of the climax, the ferocious Jabberwock moved closer and closer to the boy.

Number two, the boy threatened the Jabberwock with his sword.

Three, the Jabberwock became enraged, angry, and it lunged at the boy.

Four, the boy swiped his sword and he beheaded the Jabberwock.

Well done.

So throughout our descriptive climax, we will use a range of descriptive language.

Descriptive language includes all of these, figurative language, so metaphors, similes, personification, precise verbs, descriptive adjectives and adverbs, fronted aerials of time, place and manner.

Show-not-tell language and expanded noun phrases.

Descriptive language is really important because it helps to create this vivid image in the reader's mind of what's happening in the story.

So let's generate some descriptive vocabulary we can use to describe the Jabberwock here in this moment.

The ferocious Jabberwock moved closer and closer to the boy.

So I want you to think about what you can see, what you could hear, what noises the Jabberwock might might be making.

How is he moving and what, again, the appearance of the Jabberwock.

So pause the video now and off you go coming up with some adjectives, some verbs and adverbs to describe this key moment.

Pause the video.

Okay, welcome back.

Here are some of the ideas that I've come up with.

It was swinging it's powerful tail.

It stomped aggressively.

It's colossal wings flapped angrily.

It had an ear splitting roar.

The ferocious blood thirsty beast, an expanded noun phrase there, and it edged closer and closer.

So lots of ambitious vocabulary there that we can be thinking about including in our plan.

So checking for understanding.

Which of the following are appropriate to describe the Jabberwock in the climax.

A, the friendly creature skipped through the forest.

B, the ferocious blood thirsty beast edged closer to the boy.

C, the Jabberwock walks towards the boy.

Or D, the monstrous creature stomped aggressively as it wanted to destroy everything in its path.

Pause the video now.

Okay, so the sentences which are appropriate for the climax.

B, the ferocious blood thirsty beast edged closer to the boy.

And D, the monstrous creature stomped aggressively as it wanted to destroy everything in its path.

A is a bit too positive, it's too happy and positive a description of the Jabberwock.

And C, the Jabberwock towards towards the boy.

It's not very descriptive and we're trying to write and plan a descriptive, climax.

Well done.

So we can also use show-not-tell language to describe the boy's emotions in this moment of the climax, the boy threatened the Jabberwock with his sword.

So he was feeling brave but scared at the same time.

We could just write that, but it's not very interesting or ambitious.

And we want our descriptive writing to create such a vivid picture in the reader's mind.

And I don't think he was brave but scared really does that.

Doesn't describe the boy's emotions in that ambitious way.

So let's not use that.

And instead let's use some show-not-tell language.

So show me what your body language and facial expressions are like when you are scared.

Maybe your jaw will drop, maybe your eyes will widen.

Or maybe you'll start to tremble.

Pause the video now and have a go at showing me how you look when you are scared.

Okay, well done.

So here's some show-not-tell language ideas to describe the boy in this moment of the climax.

His knees were shaking.

That's what happens when you're nervous, your knees start to shake.

He held the sword with trembling hands.

His heart pounded violently against his chest and his voice croaked as he threatened the beast.

I wonder if you can think about including these in your plan today, so that when you are describing the boy's emotions in your writing, it's really descriptive and effective.

So checking for understanding, which of the following shows how the boy is feeling as he threatens the Jabberwock? A, the young man's eyes lit up as he held his shining sword.

B, with shaking knees, the brave night rose to his feet and he pointed his trusted sword at the monster.

C, a smile spread across his face as he faced the Jabberwock.

And D, the youth's eyes filled with tears.

Pause the video now.

So which one shows how the boy is feeling, scared but still really brave? It was B.

Well done.

So now let's generate some descriptive vocabulary we could use to describe these moments.

The Jabberwock became enraged and it lunged at the boy and the boy swiped his sword and he beheaded the Jabberwock.

So think about any verbs and adjectives you could describe for the Jabberwock's, movements, the way it reacted, and also describing the the boy and how he beheaded that vicious beast.

So video now and off you go.

Okay, here's some of the ideas that I've come up with.

It bolted like a bull.

Bolted means ran really quickly.

And then you have likable so simile there, some figurative language.

It violently lunged.

Lunge is when you moved towards something and did it in a very violent way.

The Jabberwock was enraged.

So really angry or with boiling blood.

A way to describe how angry you are.

Let out an ear piercing cry.

The prince or the boy determinedly swung his vorpal sword and sliced its towering head.

So these are all ideas that we could include in our plan in the next section of the lesson.

So just checking for understanding, which of the following are precise adjectives to describe the Jabberwock after the boy's threat.

A, disappointed.

B, enraged.

C, excited or D, furious.

Pause the video now.

It was enraged, wasn't it? It was so angry that the boy had the nerve to threaten it, so it became enraged.

Really angry.

And then a synonym for enraged is furious.

Well done.

So there is also some important dialogue that needs to be included in our plans that we make sure we include it in our writing of the climax.

Dialogues really help important because it helps to move the story forward.

We are writing a narrative story, we're not writing a poem.

So we can add lots more detail to this dialogue than what is in the original poem.

So what might the boy have said to the Jabberwock? Pause the video now and discuss this with your partner or your class or whoever you are with.

What do you think the boy might have said to the Jabberwock when he was threatening it with a sword? Pause the video now.

Okay, so here are some possible responses.

Don't take one more step or I'll slice off your head so there's a threat there or another threat, I'll slay you if you come any closer or come any closer and I'll behead you in one swipe.

So we don't know exactly what the boys said, but these are just some ideas that we can include in our plan to make this moment of the narrative even more exciting and tense for the reader.

So check in for understanding.

Which of the following is a piece of dialogue that could be found in a narrative climax version of the poem? A, Beware of the brutal Jabberwock.

B, come to my arms, my beamish boy.

C, take one more step and I'll behead you in one.

D, these savage creatures can pounce at any time.

So remember the climax is when the boy and the Jabberwock have their vicious fight.

So which of these lines of dialogue would appear in the climax? Pause the video now.

That's right, it is C.

The moment the boy is threatening the Jabberwock.

Well done everybody.

Great job.

Okay, it's time for task A.

We need to fill in the blanks in these sentences below, using the words from the word bank.

So your words in the word bank are enraged.

So really angry, colossal, really big, blood thirsty, desperate to kill, stomped and determinedly.

So here are your five sentences.

I'm going to read them out loud now.

And as I'm reading, you could be thinking about which word you could fill in the blanks with.

As the monstrous creature swung its powerful tail it blank aggressively towards the boy.

It's blank wings, flapped angrily creating a tenacious wind that tore furiously through the leaves with a deep air splitting roar.

The blank beast edged closer and closer to its prey.

Blank the monster bolted like a bolt towards the knight.

And finally, with an ear-piercing cry, the fearless young man blank swung his vorpal sword at the beast.

Pause the video now and off you go filling in the missing words.

Well done everybody.

Welcome back.

I'm going to read it out loud now, and as I'm reading it, you can say the missing word.

As the monstrous creature swung its powerful tail, it stomped aggressively towards the boy.

Its colossal wings flapped angrily creating a tenacious wind that tore furiously through the leaves.

With a deep ear splitting roar, the blood thirsty beast edged closer and closer to its prey.

Enraged the monster bolted like a bull towards the night and with an ear piercing cry, the fearless young man determinedly swung his vorpal sword at the beast.

Great job.

Well done.

It's time for the second section of the lesson where we are writing the plan.

When we plan, we use notes.

Notes are concise, they're short, and they capture the key vocabulary and information.

They are not full sentences.

The purpose of notes is to help the writer to organize information easily for future use.

And we use bullet points when note taking and they look like this.

So what will you need to include in your plan? Let's check for understanding.

A, full sentences with capital S's and full stops.

B, bullet points for notes.

C, precise and ambitious vocabulary or D, unnecessary information.

Pause the video now.

So in our plan we need to include B bullet points for notes and C, precise and ambitious vocabulary.

We do not need full sentences on our plan.

Well done.

So it's time for task B.

You now need to fill in the plan for the first key moment.

So the first key moment is the ferocious Jabberwock moved closer and closer to the boy.

Except can you think of any ambitious adjectives to describe the Jabberwock and precise verbs and adverbs to describe how it was moving.

So you can definitely use some of the vocabulary that we were generating in the first section of this lesson, or I'm sure you've also got loads of amazing yourself.

So pause the video now and off you go.

Well done everybody.

Welcome back.

I'm going to go through some of my ideas and if you want to, you can pause the video and add these to your plan yourself.

Don't worry if yours don't look exactly the same.

We don't expect everyone to come up with the exactly the same ideas.

But as I said, feel free to add these to your plan if you'd like to.

So some ambitious a adjectives for this first key moment, ferocious blood thirsty beast.

It's expanded now further to describe the Jabberwock.

It's colossal wings, it's powerful tale and its ear splitting roar.

And then some precise verbs and adverbs.

It stomped aggressively, it flapped heavily, creating a furious wind, destroying everything and edged closer and closer.

Well done.

Okay, now it's time to plan the second key moment.

So when the boy threatened the Jabberwock with his sword, firstly, you can think about any ambitious vocabulary.

So adjectives, verbs, and adverbs.

And then you'll think about describing the dialogue and any detail that comes with the dialogue.

So the reporting clause describing how the boys said those words.

So pause the video now and off you go.

Well done everybody.

Welcome back.

I'm sure you all came up with some brilliant ideas, but here are some of mine, which if you want to, you can add to your plan.

So some ambitious adjectives, verbs and adverbs with shaking knees or a verbal of manner there.

His heart pounded violently.

Again, more show-not-tell language.

And he nervously pointed his trusted sword.

And then the dialogue or and detail.

Don't take one more step or I'll slice off your head, he warned with a tremble in his voice.

So the reported clause there.

And also some show-not-tell language with a tremble in his voice and with a deep breath.

Again, more show-not-tell language.

Okay, well done everybody.

Great job.

Now we need need to plan the third key moment.

The Jabberwock became enraged and it lunged at the boy and then the boy sliced off his head.

So really, really, really exciting moment.

The most exciting moment in the climax.

So we want to make sure we're using really descriptive language here.

So pausing the video now and thinking about any ambitious adjectives, verbs and adjective, adverbs you can use to describe this moment.

Off you go.

Well done everybody.

Welcome back.

I'm sure you've all come up with loads of amazing ideas.

Here are some of mine, which if you'd like to, you can add to your plan as well.

So some ambitious adjectives with boiling blood or enraged.

So a fronted verb there could be to describe how angry the Jabberwock was.

The fearless warrior to describe the boy.

He let out an ear piercing cry, and then the towering head of the Jabberwock.

And then the precise verbs charged like a bull, violently lunged.

The boy determinedly swung it sword, his sword.

And then he victoriously sliced, victoriously mean he won.

He was the one.

He was victorious because he defeated that Jabberwock.

So again, don't worry if yours don't look similar, that's a great thing.

I'm sure your ideas were brilliant, but here are some ideas for you if you'd like to add them to your plan.

Make sure you keep this plan safe because you're going to need it in the next lesson when it comes to writing the climax.

Great job everybody.

Well done.

Here is the summary of everything we've learned.

The purpose of the climax is to describe the main action and take the suspense and excitement to its highest point.

When we plan, we log precise and ambitious vocabulary to help paint vivid pictures for our reader.

Dialogue is the written conversation between two characters or more within a narrative.

Show-not-tell is a writing technique for showing a character's feelings with description of their actions, body language and facial expressions.

And an effective plan has vocabulary organized concisely and neatly.

Well done everybody.

Great job.