Lesson video

Welcome to this unit of work all about respectful relationships.

In this lesson, we will learn about what a healthy friendship looks like and the typical behaviours to expect in a respectful relationship.

We will also be able to understand what to do if a friendship or relationship is causing us unhappiness.

Now, this lesson does cover some sensitive content, so do make sure that you've got adequate supervision and someone to speak to if you need.

Let's get started.

In this lesson, you will need an exercise book or paper and a pen to write with.

If you don't have that equipment now, go and grab it and press play when you are ready to carry on.

So what is our agenda for today's lesson? Well, we will start by looking at the features of a healthy friendship.

We will then discuss typical behaviours that you should expect to see in a healthy friendship.

We will discuss what to do if you are feeling unhappy and we will finish with a reflection and an exit quiz.

So let's start by thinking about, what a healthy friendship looks like? What kind of qualities would you expect? For example, you might expect someone to be kind in a relationship.

Pause the video now and see if you can think of any words that would describe a healthy friendship.

In a positive and healthy relationship people are kind, considerate and respectful of each other, they are honest with each other, they listen to each other and they respect each other's personal space, privacy and boundaries as well as accepting each other's differences.

Healthy relationships should make you feel happy, confident and safe and you should feel positive about yourself when you are around these people.

They should be whether you are having an in-person relationship or the relationships that you have with people online.

So now that we have a definition of a healthy relationship let's have a look at what we think typical behaviours should be in a healthy relationship.

So we could start with my example of spending time together.

You should want to spend time with the other person.

Pause the video now and have a think of any other typical behaviours you think should be seen in a healthy relationship.

So let's compare our lists.

Don't worry if I've got something different, feel free to add it to your list.

And if you've got something that I haven't mentioned that's okay as well.

Remember, that was about your opinion.

So, we've already discussed that it's important that in a relationship you should want to spend time with each of other.

Also you should know about each other's family and friends and who else your friend might be spending time with.

You should also have lots in common and be open and honest with the other person in your relationship.

I think it's very important to also have a common sense of humour and to enjoy the same types of things.

And finally know that you are going to have a good time together.

That's very important in a healthy relationship.

So, for our next activity you need to refer to the worksheets.

If you do not have a printer feel free to pause the video now and to copy this table onto your piece of paper.

What you are going to do is to add some examples of when these behaviours are both healthy and also unhealthy, because sometimes that can happen.

Let's look at an example together.

So if we take spending time together, what might that look like in a healthy relationship versus an unhealthy relationship? In a healthy a relationship spending time together means that your bonds are strengthened.

In an unhealthy relationship unfortunately, too much time together could also reduce the contact time that you are having with others and therefore it can possibly become a controlling relationship.

So it is very important to make sure that you are balancing the amount of time that you are spending with just one person.

I would like you to pause the video now and see if you can add any more examples to the table.

Take as long as you need and press play when you are ready to resume and share ideas.

Let's now compare our ideas.

We've already discussed the healthy and unhealthy versions of spending time together, but let's next look at knowing each other's family and friends.

Connecting the people that you care about can deepen and strengthen relationships.

But rather than assuming introduction should take place early on, it is important that this is done at a pace both parties agree with.

If family or friends find out about a relationship before both parties are ready there can be a lot of pressure.

And if a breakdown occurs in the friendship then it can be particularly difficult since it also means managing each other's family and friends.

And both parties will need to be mature and thoughtful.

Having lots in common, so for this, I said the common interests are what normally sparks that connection with someone and can help to maintain a connection over time.

However, if people spend every moment together this can be unhealthy and it is important to balance your time between each other and others.

Honest communication is very healthy.

However, being brutally honest can be disrespectful and damage self-esteem.

For example, rather than telling someone that you hate their cooking and you'll never eat what they'll make again it's more loving to offer to cook because you feel you are quite good in the kitchen.

Having a common sense of humour and something to laugh about is healthy.

However, humour can be misinterpreted and just like being too open can also cause damage to self-esteem.

It is also really important to have a good time and to share happy memories.

However, once again ensure that you are dividing your time with other people too.

Please pause the video now, if you want to add to your table or if you want to discuss any of those things further with an appropriate adult nearby.

The next thing on our agenda is to discuss what you should do if you are unhappy in a friendship or relationship.

You might already have some initial ideas and this might be something like speaking to the friend or person in question.

Pause the video now and have a think of anything else you could do if you were unhappy in a friendship or relationship.

So, it is important to note to start off with that it is completely normal to sometimes feel unhappy.

Our mental wellbeing is all about how we deal with those moments.

So how do we deal with feeling unhappy in a relationship? Well, as we already discussed you can speak to your friend in question, think about what you are going to say to them beforehand, but make sure they are aware that you are feeling unhappy.

You might also speak to a family member.

They will be able to listen and support you and they may have advice.

Or finally, you can also speak to someone in school.

School might be able to organise a restorative practise meeting between you and the other people or person.

School might be able to do things like, organising a new seating plan.

So there are three different groups of people that you could speak to if you are feeling unhappy in a relationship.

A true or false for us now, there are only healthy relationships, true or false? Point to the screen now.

Good, this is false.

Some relationships can become unhealthy and make sure that you speak to someone that you trust if you are ever concerned or worried about anything.

So for your main activity in this lesson I would like you to create a poster that tells people what to do if they are unhappy in the friendship.

Make sure you reassure them that this can be normal and there is help and support for them if they ask.

Press play, when you are ready to resume the rest of the lesson.

So, we will end today's lesson with a short reflection and the key takeaway for you.

Healthy friendships should make you feel happy, confident, safe and positive about yourself.

This applies to whether your friendship is in-person or online.

I have been Mrs. Smith.

Thank you so much for joining me in this lesson.

If you would like to share with us any of the work you have completed please use the #LearnwithOak and make sure that you have permission from a parent, carer or guardian.

Thank you again.

Goodbye.