Lesson video

Hi there, Nice to see you today.

My name is Ms Shaw and I'm really pleased you're joining me today for this lesson on recognising our own unsafe relationships.

So in this lesson we're going to be focusing on unsafe family relationships including violence in the home or abuse, et cetera.

We'll also be looking at how we can deal with conflicting emotions and recognising our own unsafe relationships and how we can report concerns and seek help.

Now, this lesson covers sensitive topics and therefore we recommend checking with a trusted adult before starting or during the lesson with a trusted adult nearby.

So for this lesson you're going to need an exercise book or some paper and you're going to need a pen and your brain.

So hopefully you've already completed your intro quiz.

Firstly, we will be looking at key features of unsafe relationships in the home.

Then we'll look at dealing with conflict, conflicting emotions and then how we can report concerns and seek help.

Finally, we'll cover the key learning points and you'll complete your exit quiz.

So the key words for today's lesson are conflicting emotions which are feelings, which leave you emotionally confused and unsure.

Unsafe families, which are ones where you may feel unsafe, vulnerable, neglected, or abused.

And it can be very damaging in the long term.

And toxic relationships, which refer to any relationship, which is consistently dysfunctional.

So as a recap from prior learning here were these key words were covered in previous lessons, I'd like you to pause the video here, to choose the correct, correct ones.

And then return when you've completed your task.

Did you get them correct? So toxic relationships are ones which have the potential to impact on mental, physical, and emotional health.

And support interventions are the provision of health and well-being care provided by professionals such as CAMs or such as your GP.

The two others that were on the slide, which are abuse, which is improper treatment of someone which impacts upon their emotional health and wellbeing or mental health and wellbeing.

And neglect which means being uncared for or a failure to care for properly.

Now we'll look in more detail at these two terms in this lesson.

So in this first section, we're going to focus on recognising key features of unsafe relationships in the home.

Now to recap from last lesson, I'd want you to I want you to try and think of what features formed an unsafe family relationship.

Like pause the video here and make a list of as many as you can think of and resume once you've completed your task.

So how did your list compare with mine? I'm hoping that you've remembered the common features of unsafe family situations include you experiencing physical or verbal or emotional abuse.

You may be being harshly criticised all the time and your basic needs are not being met.

You may feel controlled and you don't feel that you have love or respect or compassion coming from your family members.

You may be expected to meet unrealistic standards and there may be consistent and sustained dysfunction in that family.

So what ways can a family member behave in an unsafe way? I'd like you to take a look at the slide below and choose which ways you think are correct.

I'd like you to pause and complete this activity and then return when you've finished.

So did you get them right? If someone at your, in your family, is belittling you or manipulating you or emotionally or physically abusing you, such as maybe bullying you or hitting you or slapping you or calling you names or giving you any sort of verbal abuse, then this is not acceptable.

If you feel like your basic needs are being neglected and you are being shamed or you are being made to feel guilty about this or someone is controlling you.

And these are all features of unsafe relationships.

Now, every young person.

And in fact, every person has the freedom has the rights to have freedom from violence or abuse or neglect and and has a right to an adequate standard of living.

So if this isn't happening, then there's an issue and it really needs sorting.

And it needs to get help.

So an unsafe familial relationships can impact on your physical and mental health.

And as a recap from last lesson.

I want to remind you of what you can do.

If you're feeling isolated or lonely it's a really good idea to talk to friends or trusted adults or visit some sort of online support.

And there's a plethora of information out there and a plethora of support.

If you're feeling anxious or depressed it's a good idea to practise mindfulness and engage in exercise or any sort of enjoyable activity.

If you have low self-esteem or poor physical health and do things to make you feel good about yourself maybe get some exercise, maybe listen to some music maybe read something and make a list of all the positives that you have in your life and positive things that that you have as you feel as a person.

If you have any sort of feelings of guilt or shame you need to remind yourself that it is not your fault.

It is never the fault of the victim.

If anyone is making you feel uncomfortable, you should speak to a trusted adult or report it to CEOP online.

I'd like you to consider this scenario.

John is a class-clown.

He's a bit of a show off at school and he appears overly confident.

However, this behaviour masks some difficulties he's having at home.

John has had issues with his Dad over wanting to engage more with his Mum.

John is concerned with his Dad's drinking, especially as it quite often makes his dad more aggressive.

And this has led to physical and verbal abuse where John is felt belittled and vulnerable.

John struggles with his emotions.

He loves his dad, but he's confused about his behaviour towards him, especially as his Dad is always 'sorry' the next day.

Now what I'd like you to consider whether you think this is an unsafe relationship.

And why do you think John feels confused about his feelings? I'd like you to explain the reasoning behind your decision.

So pause the activity here and then return once you've completed the task.

So do you think this is an unsafe relationship? And why do you think John feels confused about his feelings? How does your answer compare with mine? This is an unsafe toxic family situation.

In safe relationships, people feel valued, loved and cared for without fear of abuse or ridicule or neglect.

John does not feel safe at all times due to his Dad's drinking and his behaviour towards him when he's drunk.

John always feels conflict in his emotions towards his dad because he loves him.

And Dad always says, sorry, afterwards, he feels that he may be partly to blame for Dad losing his temper and feels guilty about this.

However, it is really important to remember that the abuser's behaviour is never the fault of the victim.

So in this next section, we'll focus on dealing with conflicting emotions when recognising our own unsafe relationships and how we can report concerns and seek help and support.

So how do you think you would feel if what was happening to John was happening to you? What are conflicting emotions? Well, it's common for people who are being abused to blame themselves or to try and help and understand the abuser rather than leaving the relationship or helping themselves.

Conflicting emotions that occur when you still feel a sense of love and duty and care towards the person or people who are making the relationship unsafe, even though you recognise that the situation is not a safe one to be in.

So what should we do if we recognise that a familial relationship is unsafe? I'd like you to pause here to make a list of suggestions and then return to the activity once you've finished.

So how did your list compare with mine? Well Sources of support include speaking to any trusted adults such as teachers or school staff or your school nurse or GP, for example.

You can contact the police or you can visit websites and download different apps to help you.

You can contact CEOPS.

You can ask to be referred to childhood adolescent mental health services or any other sorts of professional support network.

Why do you think getting support and early intervention is so important? I'd like you to pause the video to the compile a list of reasons and resume once you've finished.

So how did your list compare with mine? Well, it's really important so that we can help you get to the support that you need because the longer that the problem goes on for the more damaging it is likely to be for the long-term and for your future.

Ignoring issues might cause long lasting problems. So it's really important that you get help and support as early as possible.

So the key learning points from this lesson are that there are many features to unsafe relationships and it's really important that we're able to recognise these features.

We may experience conflicting emotions when we're in unsafe relationships.

And also there are many ways to report concerns and get help and support.

Contacting a trusted adult is really important.

I'd now like you to complete the exit quiz to check your understanding of the content of this lesson and the overall unit.

Well done on completing the final lesson in this unit.

Thanks for joining me.

See you again sometime soon.

Bye for now.