Content guidance

Contains references to sexual or domestic abuse.

Adult supervision recommended.


Lesson video

In progress...


Hi there everyone, my name is Ms Shaw, I'm really pleased you're joining me today, for this lesson which we will be focusing on recognising unsafe relationships in others.

Now in this lesson, we're going to be focusing on identifying key characteristics of relationships where there may be potential harm occurring, so, physical or mental, we'll also be looking at recognising the differences between negative and unhealthy relationships and ones which are harmful.

And also, and look at how we can report concerns and seek help.

This lesson covers sensitive topics, and therefore we recommend checking with a trusted adult before you start, or during the lesson with a trusted adult nearby.

In this lesson you're going to need an exercise book, or some paper, a pen, and your brain for thinking.

So hopefully you've already completed your intro quiz, firstly, we'll be looking at identifying key characteristics of harmful familial relationships, then we'll move on to looking at the differences between unhealthy and harmful relationships, then how we can report concerns and seek help, and finally, we'll give key learning points and you'll complete your exit quiz.

So the keywords for today's lesson, are that unhealthy families, are ones where members are unable to communicate or maintain closeness or express themselves.

Unsafe families are ones where you may feel unsafe, vulnerable, neglected, abused, and these can be very damaging in the long term.

Toxic relationships refers to any relationship which is consistently dysfunctional.

So to recap from some prior learning, two of the keywords covered in previous lessons are listed below, what I would like you to do, are to choose the correct ones.

Pause the video here to complete your activity and resume when you're done.

So were you correct? These two were the correct ones, so intentions, which are the aims or plan for how something will turn out, and trustworthiness referring to the ability to be relied upon as truthful and honest, we covered in last lesson.

The other two which were support and interventions, which are essentially, and support which is provided by health and wellbeing professionals and toxic relationships which are ones which impact on people's mental, physical and emotional health.

We will go on to cover in today's lesson.

So in this section, we're going to focus on determining key characteristics of relationships where they may be potential harm occurring.

So we know that healthy relationships include trust security, love, and respect, but what do we think are the key characteristics of ones where potential harm may be occurring? I'd like you to pause the video here and make a list of as many as you can think of, and resume when you're done.

So how did your list compare with mine? Well, some common features of relationships where potential harm may be occurring include, dishonesty, where people are lying or keeping secrets from each other.

Control, so perhaps one person is making all the decisions and stopping someone from doing something that they want to do.

Dependence, where they rely on people too much and try and control them in a dependent source way.

Maybe there's hostility, so antagonising someone and picking fights all the time.

Disrespect, so making fun of someone's opinions or their interests in a negative way, there may be sexual violence, so forcing sexual activity on someone without their consent, there also might be physical violence, so using force such as hitting, slapping or kicking or punting, to get someone's own way about something.

There also might be intimidation, so using fear to try and control aspects of someone's life.

Now unsafe familial relationships can impact on your physical and mental health, they might leave you feeling isolated or lonely in which points you should talk to friends or trusted adults or visit online support.

They might leave you with low self-esteem, so you should try and do things that make you feel good about yourself and make a list of all the positives.

It might leave you feeling anxious or depressed, so practise mindfulness techniques and engage in exercise or enjoyable activities.

You might also have feelings of guilt or shame, what you need to do is remind yourself that it is not your fault, if anyone does make you feel uncomfortable you should speak to a trusted adult or report it to CEOP, which is the child exploitation and online protection, and you can visit them at this website really easily.

In this next section, we will focus on recognising the difference between negative and unhealthy relationships, and ones which are unsafe and harmful.

So what are some features of unhealthy family dynamics? I'd like you to pause the here, to make a list of as many as you can think of, and then resume once you've completed your task.

So how did your list compare with mine? Well, some common features of unhealthy family dynamics include, miscommunication, where people aren't quite understanding what the argument is over, and they've miscommunicated the information, there might be a lot of arguing or shouting, and there might be some levels of detachment, there might be negative family relationships and maybe there's some parental conflict going on, or sibling rivalry, and people feeling lonely or isolated and blaming each other.

Now very few families get along perfectly all the time, and these miscommunications and disagreements and sibling rivalries are all completely normal and common especially if something is happening, which is so something is changing or there's an event that's causing some stress, now these should be temporary, and people should apologise and express regret or remorse and work to change their behaviours when they recognise that this is going on.

So what are some reasons why family member, might behave in an unhealthy way occasionally? I'd like you take a look at the suggestions below and choose which ones you think are correct.

Pause the video here and then return when you've completed the activity.

So did you get them right? It could be that they are stressed, it could be that they are angry, they may have some health concerns going on, or trouble with other relationships, potentially there's financial difficulties, and problems at work, could be that there's some sibling rivalry or there's miscommunication.

Rarely it's going to manipulate you or because they are protecting you and you definitely do not deserve it.

Okay, let's take a look now at what features of unsafe family dynamics there are.

I'd like you to pause here and make a list of as many as you can think of, then resume when you've finished the task.

So how does your list compare with mine? Well, some common features of unsafe or harmful family situations, are that there is an expectation of you to meet unrealistic standards, it could be that you are being harshly criticised a lot of the time, and your needs are not being met, you may feel controlled, you may feel that love and respect or compassion is not part of your life, you may be experiencing physical, verbal or emotional abuse and it may be consistent unsustained disorder.

Now none of these are acceptable family relationships situations or features.

In section, we're going to focus on how we can report concerns and seek help or support.

So who could we contact, if we recognise that the familial relationship is unsafe? I'd like you to pause here and make a list of suggestions and then return once you've competed the task.

So how does your list compare with mine? Well, sources of support available to you, are any trusted adults, so including teachers or school staff, perhaps the school nurse or your GP, you can turn to the police, you can contact different websites or apps like CEOPS, that we mentioned before, and you can also turn to other professional support networks that your school or GP can put you in contact with, such as the Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services, referred to as CAMHS.

I'd like you to consider this scenario.

Mohammed is shy, studious and keeps out of trouble, and generally appears to be happy and ambitious.

His dad works abroad and so Mohammed has to shoulder some of the burden for caring for his brothers, now his mom often belittles Mohammed, and makes him feel low and uncared for.

He is constantly compared to his brothers and made feel like he is not as good as them.

He tries his best to appear happy, but his anxieties with schoolwork are a reflection of his homelife, and he feels controlled in what he can and can't do Your task here, I'd like you to think about what Mohammed could do, and suggest at least three helpful strategies.

Pause the video here while you complete your task.

So how do your answers match mine? Well, Mohammed could speak to a trusted adult at school, he could ask his friends for support and advice, he could visit some online apps or websites, he could contact an anonymous support agency such as Childline, he could speak to the school nurse or GP, and he could engage in activities that make him feel good about himself.

What I'd like you to do now, is to produce a peer support poster, aimed at highlighting to young people, how to recognise if they are in a toxic familial situation and how to report it and get help and support.

I'd like you to pause the video to complete your task.

So the key learning points for this lesson, is that unsafe familial relationships can be very harmful to our physical and mental health.

And there is a difference between unhealthy and unsafe family dynamics.

There are many ways to report concerns and to get help and support, and contacting a trusted adult is important.

Now, we've come to the end of the lesson.

Well done on completing this third lesson in this unit.

I'd now like you to complete the exit quiz to check your understanding of the content of this lesson.

Thanks for joining me and goodbye for now.