Hello, my name is miss Willow, and I'm so excited to be teaching you today's lesson.

Today's lesson is called Repairing Damaged Friendships, and it fits into the unit Healthy Relationships: How Can I Be a Great Friend? During this lesson, we're going to be talking a little bit about peer pressure and bullying, so we recommend that for this lesson, you have an adult with you.

If at any point you do feel worried or uncomfortable, it's really important that you close the screen and that you go and speak to a trusted adult.

Okay, let's make a start on today's learning.

By the end of today's lesson, you'll be able to explain how to repair damaged friendships.

Before we get started with today's lesson, we need to go over some ground rules.

These help to make sure that everyone feels safe and comfortable throughout today's lesson.

Laura says that we need to listen to others.

This means we're not going to interrupt other people if they're speaking.

Andeep says, we need to respect each other's privacy.

This means we're not going to ask anyone any personal questions as this can make some people feel uncomfortable.

Jacob says, no judgement.

This means if someone chooses to share a story or a feeling, we are not going to judge them for it.

And finally, Izzy says that we can choose our level of participation.

This means it's up to us how much we want to join in.

We are now going to go through the keywords for today's learning.

These are gonna pop up quite a few times in today's lesson, so it's important that we have a good understanding of what each word means.

First of all, we have the word "damaged".

In this context, This is a friendship which has been hurt.

Responsibility, this means to accept blame for something.

Repair, this means to fix something.

Compromise, this is an agreement where all people are happy.

And finally, red flag, this is a sign that a relationship is unhealthy.

As we go through today's lesson, keep an eye out for these keywords.

And when you spot them, see if you can remember what they mean.

Today's lesson is split into three learning cycles.

Our first learning cycle is called what could damage a friendship? Our second learning cycle is called, how can we repair damaged friendships? And finally, our last learning cycle is called What are red flags in relationships? Let's make a start on our first learning cycle.

What could damage a friendship? Most of the time, a good friendship will make us feel happy, cared for, respected, and safe.

We should also feel loved too.

However, sometimes a friendship can be damaged and this can affect how we feel.

A friendship could be damaged if within the friendship, someone feels hurt or angry, they might feel betrayed, or they could feel upset.

This can happen when someone does or says something that hurts the other person's feelings.

A friendship can be damaged by accident.

Sometimes, what we say can be misunderstood by a friend, and we didn't mean to hurt their feelings, or we might feel hurt by something a friend has done, even if they didn't mean to hurt our feelings.

Sam says, even if a friend didn't mean to hurt our feelings, we can still feel upset.

A good friend will take responsibility for their actions.

And remember, this means to take blame for something that's happened.

Let's do a check for understanding to see how you're doing with this learning cycle.

I want you to decide who is correct.

Jacob says, a friendship can only be damaged on purpose.

If a friend didn't mean to hurt you, you shouldn't get upset.

But Aisha says, a friendship can be damaged by accident even if a friend didn't mean to hurt you, it's okay to feel upset.

Who do you think is correct? Pause the video, tell the person next to you, tell me or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that Aisha is correct.

A friendship can be damaged accidentally, but even if a friend didn't mean to hurt our feelings, it's okay to still feel upset.

A friendship could be damaged by lots of different things such as a misunderstanding, some unkind words, or broken trust.

A misunderstanding can happen when people don't communicate with each other, or maybe they don't communicate clearly and someone gets a bit confused.

Other times, someone might have just got something wrong.

Jun shares his story.

I was upset when I heard Aisha talking about sitting next to Jacob on the coach for the school trip, as I thought we'd agreed that we would sit together.

After talking to her, it turns out that she was talking about sitting next to Jacob on the way back, not the way there.

This is a good example of a misunderstanding.

Sometimes a friend might say something unkind to us either on purpose or by accident.

It's never okay to be unkind to someone on purpose, but sometimes, we can say things that we don't mean, especially if we say them when we're feeling upset or angry.

Laura shares her story.

One time, my friend was angry and called me unkind names.

They hadn't done this before, so I felt worried.

I told my teacher and he spoke to my friend.

My friend apologised and explained that they were tired and they hadn't slept much the night before.

A good friendship is usually built on trust.

This means that both people trust each other to be kind, to show respect to each other, and to not try to hurt the other person in some way.

If one person does something to break this trust, this friendship could be damaged.

Alex wants to share his story with you.

I shared a secret with a friend and they told other people my secret.

I trusted them to keep what I said private, and they broke my trust.

After that, I struggled to trust them again.

Let's do a check for understanding to see how you're doing.

Which of these interactions could damage a friendship? A, someone saying, wow, I did so much better than you in that test.

I guess you just didn't work as hard as me.

Or B, great job in your test results.

I know you worked really hard on it.

Can you decide which would damage a friendship? Pause the video, tell the person next to you, tell me, or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that A would damage a friendship.

In this interaction, someone saying that they did better than someone else in the test, and they're making an assumption that the other person didn't work as hard as them.

This is an example of unkind words, and they could damage your friendship.

Let's move on to our first practise task.

You are doing a brilliant job so far, so well done.

For the first part of this task, I'd like you to read the scenario and identify what caused the friendship to become damaged.

Here we have Aisha and Sofia's story.

Aisha and Sofia are working together on an art project, and Aisha suggests drawing a lake.

Sofia disagrees and says that they should draw a forest.

Aisha says, I thought we agreed earlier that we would draw a lake, but Sofia says, no, I said that we could draw something in nature.

They now don't want to draw anything, and Aisha feels upset.

Can you identify what caused Aisha and Sofia's friendship to be damaged? Pause the video and we'll go through the answers in a few minutes.

Okay, let's see what you might have said.

You might have said Aisha and Sofia had a misunderstanding which caused damage to their friendship.

Aisha had misunderstood what Sofia had said about what they were going to draw, so she'd become upset.

And Sofia might not have communicated clearly about drawing something from nature, or Aisha might have misunderstood what she was saying.

Well done if you had this or something similar.

For the next part of this practise task, I'd like you to read this scenario and identify what caused the friendship to become damaged.

This is Lucas and Andeep's story.

Lucas and Andeep are talking about their weekend plans.

Lucas says that he's going to the cinema with one of his friends to see a new superhero film.

Andeep says, I thought we were going to go and see that film together.

Lucas says, I know, but then I changed my mind.

I'm going to go with my other friend instead.

Andeep tells Lucas that he feels upset by this.

What do you think has caused this friendship to become damaged? Pause the video and we'll go through the answers in a few minutes.

Let's see what you might have said.

You might have said that Lucas broke Andeep's trust which caused their friendship to become damaged.

Lucas had previously agreed to go to the cinema with Andeep, but then changed his mind and decided to go with someone else, and he hadn't told Andeep about this.

Andeep trusted Lucas to go to the cinema with him, so his trust in Lucas has been broken.

Well done if you said this or something similar.

It is time to move on to our second learning cycle, how can we repair damaged friendships? To repair friendships, remember that this means to fix them.

We might need to admit fault and apologise even if we didn't mean to hurt our friends' feelings.

When we admit fault, we take responsibility for how our actions have affected others, and we show that repairing the friendship is really important to us.

Here, Sofia is saying to Aisha, sorry for the misunderstanding, Aisha.

I might not have communicated clearly.

This shows Sofia taking responsibility for what's happened.

When we apologise, which means to say sorry, we need to understand why we're apologising and why it's so important to apologise.

We also need to commit to trying not to behave in a hurtful way again.

Here, Lucas says, I'm really sorry for breaking your trust, Andeep.

I shouldn't have made plans to see the film with someone else after I'd already said that we'd go together.

I won't do it again.

This is a really good way of apologising because it takes responsibility, and Lucas is saying that he won't do it again.

To repair a friendship, we need to listen to our friend to see things from their point of view and we may need to compromise.

When we listen to our friend, we show them that we care about how they feel and that we want to make things better.

Lucas says, when Andeep explained how he felt, I realised that I'd broken his trust.

I knew that if I was him, I'd feel upset and disappointed too.

Andeep is a great friend, and I don't want to hurt him in that way again.

Coming to a compromise can be helpful when two people or more want to do different things.

In a healthy friendship, people take it in turns to do what they want, and they compromise so that both people are happy.

Here we have Sam and Laura.

Sam says, do you want to play the game we played yesterday? I thought it was so much fun.

But Laura says, no, but how about we play football? We both love that.

Sam says, sounds fun.

Let's do it.

Both Sam and Laura are coming to a compromise.

Both of them are happy about the game that they're going to play.

This is a sign of a healthy friendship.

Let's do a check for understanding to see how you're doing with this learning cycle.

Does this conversation show a compromise? Do you want to go to the park tomorrow? No, we did that last week.

Why don't we play some board games instead? No, that's boring.

Either come to the park with me or we won't do anything.

Fine, I guess we'll go to the park.

Does this conversation show a compromise? What do you think? Pause the video, tell the person next to you, tell me, or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that this conversation does not show a compromise, but why? You might have said that this isn't a compromise, because both people haven't come to an agreement that they're both happy with.

The second person doesn't want to go to the park.

An important part of repairing a friendship is taking responsibility for our actions and our words.

When we take responsibility, we accept that what we've said or done has hurt someone else, and we make an effort to try and not do it again.

Sofia says it can be hard to take responsibility, but it's an important part of repairing a damaged friendship.

Taking responsibility can mean explaining why we did something, and accepting that we've hurt our friends' feelings.

Sometimes, both people in a disagreement need to accept responsibility.

It's not always up to one person.

What do you think about what Laura says? Laura says, it's not my fault if I get angry sometimes.

When I'm angry, I know I can say unkind things to people, but I can't help it.

I can't take responsibility for my actions.

What do you think about this? Pause the video, tell the person next to you, tell me, or have a think to yourself.

You might have said that Laura is incorrect.

Everyone is able to take responsibility for their actions in different ways.

If Laura struggles with feeling angry, she can talk to a trusted adult about how she feels so that they can support her.

Well done if you said the same thing.

Sometimes we might try to repair a damaged friendship, and our friend might still feel hurt.

Apologising and taking responsibility is really important, but it might not change how our friend feels, or it might not change straight away.

Andeep says that when Lucas apologised, I still felt upset and hurt.

I was glad that he'd taken responsibility, but it took me some time to trust him again.

Just because someone apologises, it doesn't change what they did.

After some time and talking with my trust adults, I was able to be friends with Lucas again.

We're now moving on to another check for understanding.

This time, I'd like you to decide which of these shows someone taking responsibility.

Is it A, I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings, but I didn't mean to.

I got angry and you know I can't control what I do when I feel angry.

Can we just forget about it now? Or B, I'm sorry I hurt your feelings.

It was an accident, but I should have thought about how my actions would affect you.

I was feeling angry, and I can see now that what I said was unkind.

If you need some space, that's okay.

Which of these show someone taking responsibility and admitting fault? Pause the video.

Tell the person next to you, tell me, or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that B is correct.

B shows someone taking responsibility because they're apologising and they're acknowledging how what they've done has affected the other person.

They're also offering to give the other person space so they're not expecting the other person to just forget what's happened.

This is a sign of a really good friend.

Well done if you got the correct answer.

It is time to move on to your second practise task.

Well done For your hard work so far.

For this task, I'd like you to read the scenario and decide three things that need to happen for the friendship between Jun and Izzy to be repaired.

Here's the scenario.

Jun and Izzy are playing football.

Izzy tries to score a goal, but the ball misses the net.

Jun shouts, that was an easy shot.

I can't believe you missed.

And Izzy shouts back, well, at least I tried to score.

You've not even got the ball close to the net.

Jun feels angry and he walks off the pitch.

Izzy feels angry too and she decides to take some time out to calm down.

What are three things that needs to happen for this friendship to be repaired? Pause the video, and we'll go through some potential answers in a few minutes.

Okay, let's see what you might have said.

To repair this friendship, Jun should apologise to Izzy.

He should admit fault for making unkind comments to her, and he should take responsibility for his actions.

Secondly, Izzy should also apologise, and she should take responsibility for how she reacted to Jun's comments as this was also unkind.

And finally, they might want some space from each other to talk about how they felt in the situation, or they could talk to a trusted adult for help preparing the friendship.

Well done if you had this or something similar.

It's time to move on to our final learning cycle.

What are red flags in relationships? Some relationships, including friendships, aren't healthy.

They might not be good for us or they might make us feel unhappy.

Unhealthy relationship traits are known as red flags.

If a relationship has lots of red flags, this suggests that the relationship isn't healthy.

Some red flags include a friend regularly being unkind to us.

They might not listen to us or care about what we have to say.

They might not be willing to compromise, so they might not want to come to an agreement that makes everyone happy.

They could regularly make us feel unhappy or even unsafe.

They might not take responsibility or apologise for their actions.

A friendship may not be perfect and a friend might upset her sometimes.

But in a healthy friendship, this should only happen from time to time, and they should always admit fault, apologise, and take responsibility, and they should commit to changing how they behave.

These are all green flags, but it's important to remember that a good friend shouldn't hurt your feelings often, even if they do apologise and take responsibility for what they've done.

Let's do a check for understanding to see how you're doing with our last learning cycle.

Which of these are red flags in a relationship? Is it A, a friend who never listens to us, B, a friend who apologises after a disagreement, or C, a friend who never compromises? What do you think? Pause the video, tell the person next to you, tell me, or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that A and C are correct.

Some red flags in a relationship would be a friend who never listens to us, and a friend who never compromises.

These suggest that the relationship is unhealthy.

A friend who apologises after a disagreement is a green flag as long as these disagreements don't happen to often.

Sometimes, we need to walk away from unhealthy friendships.

Unhealthy friendships can make us feel sad and frustrated, and they can affect our self-esteem too.

Our self-esteem is how we feel about ourselves.

Farah says, healthy friendships should make us feel happy, cared for, and loved.

If we don't feel like this in a friendship or we don't feel it very often, it's better for our mental health to end the friendship.

Everyone deserves to be in happy and healthy friendships where they feel cared for and loved.

Some people incorrectly think that we should maintain all our friendships, but this isn't always true.

It's normal for some friendships to end naturally as people get older, to develop different interests, and to move to different places.

Farah says, maintaining a friendship takes time and effort.

It's important to spend this time and effort that we have on healthy friendships, and not on friendships which have lots of red flags and make us feel unhappy.

Ending a friendship can be hard for everyone involved, so it's important to do this kindly and respectfully.

We might decide to ask a trusted adult for support, as it can be difficult to end a friendship.

A face-to-face conversation is usually best, and we might choose to say something like, this is hard to say, but this friendship isn't working for me anymore.

I'm not feeling happy, and I don't want to continue our friendship.

This shows ending a friendship kindly and respectfully.

Let's do a check for understanding.

Is this statement true or false? We should maintain all friendships.

What do you think? Pause the video, tell the person next to you, tell me, or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you say that this is false.

But why? You might have said that some friendships are unhealthy.

It's important to be able to spot red flags and know when to walk away from a friendship that makes us feel unhappy or unsafe.

Well done if you had this or something similar.

It's time to move on to our final practise task, and you've done a brilliant job well done for this task.

I'd like you to identify the red flags in this scenario.

Here is our scenario.

My friend used to be really kind to me, but now they often make comments that make me feel bad about myself.

Whenever I talk about how I feel or something that I'm interested in, they don't listen and they laugh at me instead.

When I suggest doing something different to them, they roll their eyes and say that they won't play with me unless I do what they want to do.

I've told them how I feel and they've apologised, but they keep doing it.

Can you identify the red flags in this scenario, so the traits that make this relationship unhealthy? Pause the video and we'll go through some potential answers in a few minutes.

Okay, let's see what you might have said.

You might have said that the red flags in this scenario is the friend often making comments that make them feel bad about themselves.

The fact that they don't listen and that they laugh at their friend.

The fact that they roll their eyes and they say that they won't play with them unless they do what they want to do.

And the fact that even though they've apologised, they keep making their friend upset.

These are all red flags, and suggest that the relationship isn't healthy.

Well done if you spotted these.

We are now going to summarise the key learning from today's lesson.

In today's lesson, we've learned that when a friendship is damaged, this can affect how we feel.

We've learned that lots of different things can damage a friendship, including a misunderstanding, unkind words, or broken trust.

To prepare a friendship, we can need to listen, compromise, and take responsibility.

Unhealthy friendships can have many red flags such as someone not listening to us or making us feel bad about ourselves.

And finally, we've learned that sometimes, we need to walk away from an unhealthy friendship to protect our mental health and the way that we feel.

In today's lesson, you might have found that you've got some worries or some questions.

It's really important that you share how you feel with a trusted adult, and there's also some organisations on the screen that are there to help you too.

Well done for your fantastic hard work in today's lesson.

I'm so proud of you and I hope to see you in another lesson soon.