Lesson video

Hi there everyone, my name's Mitchell.

I'm really pleased you're joining me today to look at this lesson which will be focusing on "Safe family relationships".

So this lesson is going to focus on features of safe family relationships and we're going to look at different family types and understanding that there might be disagreements or arguments which are common in families but doesn't mean that the family relationship is unsafe.

We'll also see how safe family relationships overcome disagreements, any difficulties or strains there might be.

Now as usual, this lesson covers sensitive topics and therefore we recommend checking with a trusted adult before starting, or doing the lesson with a trusted adult nearby.

So for this lesson you are going to need an exercise book or some paper and also a pen and as usual, we're going to need your brain.

So hopefully you've already completed your intro quiz.

Firstly, we're going to be focusing on positive features of safe family relationships.

We're then going to look at all different family types and understand what the differences are.

Then we're going to look at how safe family relationships overcome any issues or difficulties that they might have.

And then finally, we'll focus on the key learning points and you will complete your exit quiz.

The keywords for this lesson.

Firstly, family is a social group made up of relatives.

Positive relationships are shared between any two people or more than two people who love, support, encourage, and help each other practically and emotionally.

And safe relationships are those which are authentic and comfortable and supportive without fear of being abused or ridiculed in any way.

Now families should be strong, positive relationships which help us build trust and feel supported.

But I have to pause just for a second and think about why good family relationships are important.

Well I think, having people around us who can share positive and difficult times can also help us manage stress when life gets hard.

Children learn from relationships or about relationships from their own families first.

So why are good family relationships important? What I'd like you to do now is to focus on this screen, pick out any of the statements that you think are incorrect in relation to good family relationships.

Did you get them all correct? Well, good family relationships should help us build trust and help us manage stress when things get hard.

They should help us learn about relationships and allow us to feel supported.

They should make us feel loved and valued.

And people who are good role models in our life will help us provide security and boost our self esteem.

They should not cause us to feel anxious.

They should not make us feel disrespected or unvalued.

And they should not teach us how to behave badly.

So children learn about relationships from their own families.

Do you think this is a true or false statement? I'm hoping that you chose the true button.

Developing trust in early years is really important as trust and respect are essential to positive parent-child relationships.

Children are going to feel more secure when they learn that they can trust their own families.

Now there are many different types of family.

What I'd like you to do is to pause the video here to think about what each of the following terms might mean in relation to families.

So how did you do? Well with regards to nuclear, this is the kind of traditional family that's made up of parents and one or more children and historically this was seen as the ideal way to raise children because of the financial implications and the support of having two parents.

Next is single parents.

Now this is one parent, either the mother or the father, raising one or more children in separate houses.

And in fact, this is probably the biggest change in society over the last couple of decades with one in four children now living with single parents.

And extended families, this means many members living together in one house.

So it could be grandparents or cousins or aunts and uncles and nephews, et cetera.

And a lot of people are now choosing to live this way because of the financial support that people can gain from this.

Also the fact that helping with childcare or helping to keep the house tidy and clean, et cetera.

Childless families are two partners who live together without children for whatever reason, maybe they choose not to have children or maybe they just can't.

Now a lot of these families quite often have pets or they spend quite a lot of time with nieces or nephews.

Now step or blended families are two separate families which merge to form one unit.

Now with over half of all marriages ending in divorce, many people do choose to be married and step families are now about as common as a traditional nuclear family.

They need to work together, to work with their ex partners, to ensure that the family units run smoothly.

Now the grandparent family, it's basically grandparents raising children instead of the parents.

And many grandparents are raising grandchildren for a number of reasons, including death or addiction or perhaps abandonment or the parents are just not fit to look after them.

And one in 14 children are being raised by grandparents and it does mean that quite a lot of the time the grandparent has to go back to work to be able to support the child financially.

So what do we think are positive features of safe family relationships? I'd like you to make a list of as many things that you can think of and then return when you've finished.

So how did your list compare with mine? Well common positive features of safe family relationships include mutual respect so showing respect to one another.

Constant encouragement and praise and support.

Making time for fun with each other.

It also provides protection and a feeling of security.

Provision for needs.

Open communication and feeling that you can say what you feel without fear of being judged or criticised or ridiculed.

Having clear boundaries of what should be in place and what is allowed and what isn't.

And communicated love because at the end of the day everyone needs to feel loved in their lives.

In this next section, we're going to look into how safe family units can overcome difficulties and arguments.

Now obviously in life, there's going to be strains and arguments that a lot of people living in houses together and everybody has their own opinions and thoughts and beliefs about things, and sometimes things are going to get strained and difficult and that's perfectly normal and perfectly acceptable.

In this scenario, what I'd like you to do is have a think about this situation and what you might do to resolve the problem.

So at school, John is a class clown and he likes to show off.

However, his home life is a little strained.

John lives with his dad but he wants to know more about his mom's family background and he often comes into conflict with his dad regularly because his dad really doesn't want to talk about it.

He often instigates arguments over nothing and then gets upset and just storms off to his room.

And then dad gets easily annoyed by John's insolent attitude and in being rude and cheeky.

Do you think this is a normal family situation or do you think it's an unsafe relationship? I'd like you to pause here to explain the reasoning behind your decision.

So does your answer match mine? This is a safe and generally typical family situation.

It is completely normal for any number of people who live together with their own thoughts and feelings and opinions to disagree and fall out from time to time.

And in safe relationships, people feel loved and valued and cared for without fear of abuse, ridicule or neglect.

And the key is appreciating that people do fall out and trying to find coping strategies to resolve the situation.

So there may be disagreements and arguments which are common in family life but that does not mean that a family relationship is unsafe.

To what extent do you agree with this statement? I'd like you to explain your reasons in a short paragraph.

In paragraph two, I would like you to explain how you think safe family relationships overcome disagreements, difficulties, and strain.

I'd like you to pause the video here to complete your activity.

So next I'd like us to think about how safe family relationships overcome disagreements, difficulties, and strain.

Have a look at the phrases and see whether you agree with the statements and whether they are safe ways of overcoming disagreements.

Pause here to complete the activity.

So did you get them all right? Well it's important to be able to learn to compromise and be patient and calm and respectful and work together to resolve whatever the situation is.

Sometimes it's a good idea to take time out, to calm down before talking about it.

But we should always remember to appreciate other people's opinions and talk rationally and calmly.

Talking about the problem with other family members is also a good idea.

What we shouldn't do is force each other to listen.

We shouldn't ignore other people's points of views.

We shouldn't fight physically, and we shouldn't really scream and yell.

Being calm and rational is the way forward.

So the key learning points from this lesson are that good family relationships are really important.

There are many different types of family set-ups and they're all completely normal and completely fine.

And there are many ways to overcome disagreements that we might have in safe family relationships.

There are also lots of coping strategies and positive coping strategies are extremely important.

I'd now like you to pause the video to complete your task for the exit quiz to check the understanding of the content of this lesson.

Well done in completing the first lesson in this unit.

Look forward to seeing you again.

Good bye for now.