Lesson video

Hi, I am Miss Lowe, and I'm the RSHE teacher for today.

Thank you so much for choosing to complete your learning with me.

Today's lesson is all about separation and sudden changes.

Because of the content and the topics that we're going to cover during today's lesson, it's important that you complete your learning with the company of an adult.

Now, by the end of today's lesson, you are going to be able to describe how separation or sudden changes can affect people, and explain where to find support.

Every RSHE lesson should begin with a set of ground rules.

This ensures that every conversation had in RSHE is respectful and we're all able to learn effectively.

So Laura is reminding us that in RSHE we should listen to others.

It's okay to disagree with each other, but we should listen properly before making assumptions or deciding how to respond.

And when disagreeing, we challenge the statement and not the person.

Andeep is reminding us to respect privacy.

We can discuss examples, but we don't use names or descriptions that can identify anyone, including ourselves.

Izzy is reminding us to choose a level of participation that suits us.

Everyone has the right to choose not to answer a question or to join in a discussion, but we never put anyone on the spot.

And finally, Jacob is reminding us that in RSHE there is no judgement.

We can explore beliefs and misunderstandings about a topic without the fear of being judged.

So here are our keywords for today's lesson.

First, we have separation.

In this context, we're talking about when people who were together, like parents or carers, part ways.

And then we have support network.

These are people or services that will offer help with emotional and practical needs.

So during today's lesson, we are going to cover three questions and we're going to start by answering the question, how do people cope with family separation? Now, sometimes we experience change in our lives that we have no control over, and this could be really difficult for us to cope with.

An example of one of these changes is family separation.

And this can occur within a family for lots of different reasons, such as divorce, parental separation, death, moving away.

It is important to remember that separation may be the healthiest option in some cases, and it does not mean a lack of love or care or that a family has failed.

When we experience a sudden change in our family, we may feel like we've lost all control, but there are things that we can do that can help us to cope with this feeling.

The first thing we can do is to talk about the way that we feel.

Dr.

Elsie here is telling us that when we talk about our feelings about difficult situations, we stop them from building up inside of us.

Separations can deeply affect our wellbeing, so we should seek support from friends, loved ones, or trusted adults at school.

If someone is really struggling with their mental health after a separation, they can also speak to a healthcare professional.

So let's pause here and let's check our understanding.

True or false? A family separation means that the family has failed.

So pause the video here and have a think about your answer.

Well done if you said false.

But why is this false? Well, separation can happen for lots of different reasons, and it may be the healthiest option in some cases.

It doesn't mean there's a lack of love or care or that the family has failed.

The next thing that we can do to help cope with these feelings is to acknowledge and accept how we feel.

Not everyone is going to react the same way to major changes.

And whatever we feel about separation, those feelings are okay.

For example, if a family separation occurs due to conflict, we may feel relieved.

Whereas if it occurs due to death, we may feel sad.

Dr.

Elsie is reminding us here that our emotions can feel jumbled, mixed, or even positive after a sudden change.

This is nothing to feel guilty about.

Everyone copes differently with sudden change, and there is no one-size-fits-all reaction to life-changing events.

The next thing that we can do is to stay connected.

Family separations might mean that we no longer live with or close to family members who mean a lot to us.

It is important to remember that even if our parents or carers are no longer together, we can still love them both.

These feelings are normal and okay.

Wherever possible, maintaining regular communication with these family members can help us to maintain a bond.

Let's pause here and let's check our understanding.

Is what Alex is saying correct? "The only way to react to family separation is sadness.

Any other feelings are not valid or okay." So pause the video here and have a think about that.

What Alex is saying is incorrect.

Any feelings that we have relating to separation are valid.

Separation occurs for lots of different reasons and therefore we can experience lots of different emotions.

The next thing that we can do to help us feel more in control is to create new routines.

Separation can cause major change in our lives, so it's important to stick to routines where possible or to even make new ones.

Ms. Walsh here, who is a DSL, she's a designated safeguarding lead, is telling us that separation for any reason can cause instability, and this can take a toll on our emotions.

Structure can help us to maintain a sense of purpose and stability.

We may want to create new traditions or daily rituals, which can bring us joy, such as visiting a close family member each week or going for a relaxing walk every day.

Next is we could build a support network.

Friends, family, teachers, support staff, medical professionals, and even organisations like Childline can offer you support if separation has occurred.

Andeep is telling us about when he experienced a difficult time in his life.

And he says when he goes through difficult times, his support network is his religious community.

Sharing troubles with other people really helps to reduce the load.

Next is we can create boundaries.

So if separation happens because of arguments or an unhealthy situation, creating clear boundaries can help protect how we feel.

You can do this by identify what is hurting you and considering what it is that has caused you stress or pain, deciding what it is that you need to do to make you feel more comfortable, whether that is more space, less time with certain people, or avoiding certain conversations.

Expressing boundaries clearly and respectfully can also help.

For example, "I need a break from talking about that because it's upsetting me." So let's pause here again and let's check our understanding.

How can you set clear boundaries? There are three options on the screen.

I want you to read through them and then tell me which of them is correct.

You are going to pause the video here.

Well done if you said B.

So we can set clear boundaries by identifying the behaviour that's upsetting us and then considering what is hurting us.

Now we're going to put our learning into practise.

So I would like for you to give some advice to Louis about how he can cope with family separation.

So Louis says, "My parents recently separated.

I love both my parents so much, but I've been really struggling with how to cope with all the changes that it's caused.

I don't know who to speak to or what to do.

When I visit my parents, they both say mean things about each other, and it really upsets me.

Before they separated, they used to argue all the time.

I actually feel relieved they aren't together anymore.

Is that wrong of me?" So based on what Louis said there, I'd like you to give him some advice about how he can cope.

You're going to pause the video, have a go at those answers, and then we'll go through what you might have said together.

So you were asked to give Louis some advice on how he can cope with family separation.

You might have said: family separation can cause mixed emotions, but any way you feel is valid, including feeling relieved.

To help you cope, you could create support networks with people you trust and talk about your feelings to stop them building up.

If possible, maintain healthy contact with family members and create new routines like regular visiting times.

However, set clear boundaries if conversations upset you.

For example, ask your parents not to say unkind things about each other to you.

And if you're really struggling, you can speak to a medical professional.

We're moving on now to the second part of our lesson, where we're asking the question, what can sudden changes feel like? So sudden changes, such as those caused by separation, can cause complex emotions.

Dr.

Elsie is reminding us here that we can feel a mixture of emotions.

We may feel these emotions gently or in extremes.

What is important is that no matter how you feel, it's valid and okay, and there are lots of people available to support you with your emotions.

Some people describe sudden changes as being like whiplash.

Izzy's grandma says that for her it felt like the ground was pulled from under her.

She felt confused and in disbelief.

This strange mixture of emotions made her feel numb, like she wasn't sure who she was or what to do anymore.

Now let's pause here and let's check our understanding.

True or false? Sudden change can cause such complex emotions that it can make us feel emotionally numb.

Pause the video and have a think about your answer.

If you said true, well done.

Yes, sudden change can cause many, many complex emotions, and it can be hard for us to process them all at once.

So it can make us feel emotionally numb.

Izzy's grandma said it felt the ground had been pulled from under her and she wasn't sure who she was anymore or what to do.

When things change suddenly, it can make us question other areas of our lives as well.

It can make us feel very anxious, and we might start worrying about other parts of our life and wondering if they're going to change too.

We might even start thinking about the worst things that could happen.

We may also feel like we've lost control.

Family separation is not something that we have control over, and sudden change can make life feel even more unpredictable.

Some people might struggle to cope with the loss of control, while others feel that they have to fix things.

It's almost always not possible, so it can cause upset and frustration.

If you are struggling with a loss of control, creating new routines can bring more stability.

Let's pause here and let's check our understanding.

What can Aisha do to help? She says, "I feel like I've lost all control.

I tried to fix things, but I still feel like I can't change what's happening." So pause the video here and have a think about your answer.

Now, if you said that Aisha could try to create new routines in order to create more stability in her life, well done.

As we saw before, sudden changes like this are out of our control.

So Aisha almost always is not going to be able to fix things like this, but what she can do is to try and create some stability in her life and focus on the things that she can control.

Another way that we might feel about sudden change is sadness or grief.

If we've lost a family member, sadness or grief is very common.

It can be difficult to adjust to this sudden change.

We may also feel grief if the sudden change is not related to death because we might be grieving for the way that life used to be.

If you feel sadness or grief, you should speak to your support network to express some of your feelings.

If you're struggling to cope with these feelings, you should speak to a medical professional.

Another feeling we might experience is anger.

It is okay to be angry and to express it, but there are safe ways of expressing anger, such as expressing your emotions in a constructive way or channelling your angry energy through exercise.

If our feelings of anger are out of control, we can seek support to help us manage it.

This might be a trusted adult or a healthcare professional.

And there are lots of other things that someone might experience during a sudden change or loss.

We might experience things like realising what's important to us.

We could gain clarity on what matters.

We may feel relieved if we're removed from an upsetting or unhealthy situation.

We might feel empowered if we recognise how much strength we've shown in a difficult situation.

We may feel grateful for our support network.

We might feel hopeful for the future opportunities or for things to change positively.

And finally, we might feel a new sense of connection to those who've helped us or been there for us during difficult times.

Sudden changes can also cause us to experience physical symptoms. Some of these physical symptoms include insomnia, which is trouble or an inability to get to sleep, fatigue, stomach problems, racing heart and a tight chest, difficulty breathing or feeling confused or dizzy.

Now we're going to pause here and we're going to check our understanding.

So which statement is accurate about how people feel after sudden change? I want you to pause the video, have a read through those three options, and then we'll go through the correct answer together.

Well done if you said C, people might experience a mix of emotions.

Now we're going to put our learning into practise.

So I would like for you to write three to four examples under each category about feelings caused by sudden change.

So you're going to write three to four examples of physical feelings and three to four examples of emotional feelings.

Pause the video, have a go at making that table, and then we'll go through the correct answer together.

Great work.

So let's have a look at what you might have written in your table.

Under physical feelings, you might have written insomnia, stomach problems, disorientation, racing heart, and a tight chest.

Under emotional feelings, you might have said relief if you've left a negative or unhealthy situation, being grateful for support networks, being hopeful for future opportunities, anxiety or grief, or a sense of loss of control.

We're moving on now to the final part of our lesson where we're asking the question, who can help when things change at home? So not all separations that we might experience in our lives are negative, but all will involve some kind of adjustment.

We don't have to go through this on our own because we can find help from different people in our lives and build a support network of people who care about us.

A support network is made up of lots of different people who can support us in different ways.

For example, our family.

Those closest to us can help us to deal with separation and change.

They can provide us with love, comfort, support, and advice about how to navigate big transitions.

Support from family can also help us to maintain stability, so help to make us feel like we're in control.

Now let's pause here and let's check our understanding.

If we experience a big change, the best way to cope with it is just to deal with it by ourselves.

So pause the video here and tell me, is this true or false? Well done if you said false, because if we experience a big change or a transition in our lives, we don't have to go through it alone.

We can build a support network around us that can help us to cope.

Another group of people who can help us if things change at home is our friends.

Our friends can be an amazing source of support when we experience changes at home.

Just being with someone who will listen to our feelings without judgement can make us feel so much better.

Our friends might have experienced the same things that we have, which can be a comfort when we share experiences.

Next, we have trusted adults.

There are adults at school who we can go to for support, like teachers, support staff, and DSLs, who are designated safeguarding leads.

They can all listen to us and provide us with helpful advice.

Teachers have a responsibility to keep you safe.

So if they do have any concerns about what you say you're experiencing, they can help you to find more information and support from other professionals.

So there are other professionals that we can go to for support, such as medical professionals who can provide us with advice and help if we're struggling with our emotions.

They'll listen without judgement and give you advice and support that suits your needs.

Other professionals like therapists and counsellors can teach us ways to deal with big changes.

Next, we have helplines.

There are dedicated helplines and websites that we can access to get confidential support and information.

For example, sites like Childline have dedicated phone lines and online chat services.

This may be an option if we don't feel comfortable speaking to someone face to face.

Next, we have support groups.

So these are meetings where people who have been through similar experiences, like family separation, can talk together and help each other feel less alone.

We've got Megan here saying a big part of her support network has been her carers' community that she's part of.

They meet regularly and share experiences, and she knows there are lots of other groups like this out there to help people.

Next thing that we can do is to practise self-care.

There are things that we can do to help ourselves if we're struggling to cope with a big change.

Activities such as journaling or meditation can help us to keep track of and manage our thoughts and emotions.

We can also practise self-care simply by doing things that make us happy.

Now let's pause here and let's check our understanding.

So what could Ethan do in this situation? He says, "I need some support, but I don't really want to talk to my friends or teachers about it right now." I want you pause the video here and tell me what Ethan could do.

So Ethan could use a service like Childline to speak to someone over the phone or online, or he could join a support group.

And now we're going to put our learning into practise one last time.

So I would like for you to write one paragraph explaining who can help when things change at home.

And in your paragraph, I want you to try to include at least three to four sources of help.

So you're going to pause the video and write those paragraphs now, and then we'll go through what you might have written in a moment.

So you were asked to write one paragraph explaining who can help when things change at home.

And you might have said: when we experience big changes, we can build a support network around us.

This is made up of lots of different people who can help us in different ways.

For example, our family or loved ones can help us maintain stability in our lives.

Our friends can listen to us without judgement and maybe share similar experiences.

Trusted adults in school can provide us with advice or help us find a professional who can give us even more support.

Different professionals, such as doctors, therapists, and counsellors can help us understand and manage our emotions.

There are websites and phone lines dedicated to helping young people, such as Childline.

There are also community support groups that we could attend and people can also practise self-care to help them to cope with change.

For example, doing things like journaling or meditating to help gather thoughts and feelings.

Now let's have a look at a summary of what we've learned together today.

Separation and family changes can deeply affect emotions and wellbeing, whether it's caused by divorce, parental separation, death, or moving away.

Not all separations are negative, but all will involve adjustment.

And we all react differently to change, but no matter how we react, our feelings are valid.

Support networks help people cope with big life transitions and are made up of people like friends, family, teachers, and professionals.

Talking about emotions can reduce confusion and anxiety, whether that is talking to a friend, a family member, or a medical professional.

Now, if any of the topics that we've covered today concern you in any way, or you need support, here are some places that you can go.

First, we have Childline, a website and phone line which is able to offer confidential advice and support.

And finally, CEOP, which helps protect children from online abuse and exploitation.

And I'd like to end today's lesson by saying a huge well done for all of your fantastic work.

It has been lovely teaching you, and I look forward to seeing you in another RSHE lesson soon.