Lesson video

Our learning objective today is to edit our writing.

This is lesson nine of 10 and it's outcome number two for this writing unit.

Today's learning agenda.

First of all, we're going to have a warm up, which is focused on spelling.

Then we are going to identify the purpose of editing, then we're going to have some editing practise, and finally, you will have an independent task, where you get the chance to edit your own writing so far.

In this lesson, you will need your exercise or paper.

You will need your pencil or your pen, and you will need your writing from our previous lessons, We are at editing our character description today.

Today's writing warm up is based on spelling.

Your task is to circle the correct spelling, but let's begin first by reading the words out loud.

Antique, your turn, colleague, your turn, ornate, your turn, furniture, your turn Holmes, As in Sherlock Holmes, your turn.

Well done.

Okay, everyone.

Now I would like you to pause the video, while you decide which version of each spelling is spelled correctly, off you go.

Okay everybody, hopefully, you've all paused the video, and you've all had a go at completing the task.

Now we're going to reveal the answers.

Number one, this is the correct spelling of antique.

It's a French word, and a really common letter string in the French language is Q U E.

You've got to remember that antique is spelled Q U E at the end.

Next up, colleague.

This is another French spelling.

And it also has a common letter string in the French language, which is G U E.

Up next, ornate, Now, the ate sound, is created by that split diagraph with the letter E on the end.

So, on the right hand side, the blue version of the word is, we would pronounce it ornat.

But the word is correctly pronounced as ornate, and we need an E on the end to make that long a sound.

Up next furniture.

Now, both of these spellings could be phonetically correct, which means if we were to read them both out loud, they could both sound correct.

But we knew that the correct spelling is U R not, I R, it's quite tricky because, ure can be spelled U R or I R, but we got to know just for this word, it's spelled F U R N I T U R E.

And finally Holmes.

Now, this is a tricky one, because this is in relation to Sherlock Holmes.

As in Sherlock's name.

If I had just been saying the word homes, as in the children, in your class, live in different homes, then, we would spell it H O M E S.

But this time for this writing unit, we are talking about Sherlock Holmes and his surname is spelled with a capital H O L M E S.

There's a silent L in there.

Okay? So now we're going to discuss the purpose of editing, and why editing is so important.

Today we're going to be editing our writing.

What is editing? Have a about think? Can you explain what editing is? I can hear some fantastic suggestions coming from you.

So, editing is the process of making any changes needed to improve our writing.

When you edit, you decide what will stay and what will be changed.

Even really successful authors need and want to edit their work.

So, what does an editor do? have some thinking time.

Excellent.

An editor goes through a writer's work to check for mistakes and improvements.

We are all going to be editors today.

So we are going to be peer editing.

You're going to help me edit some of my writing, and then you're also going to self edit.

That means you're going to edit some of your own writing.

So, let's get started with some editing practise.

Here's an example of a couple of sentences that I've written.

Let's read it, throw it together, first.

I'm going to read it and you can follow along.

Glaring out of the window Sherlock homes surveyed the street outside.

On an antiqe armchair john Watson was busy reading his newspaper and purposefully ignored his irritated colleeg.

Now, I'm going to give you a little clue.

There are some mistakes in this writing.

Now, some of the mistakes that have been made, are punctuation mistakes.

And these are skills, that we have been working on so far in our Sherlock Holmes unit.

Some of them, are spelling mistakes.

There may be some that are spelled incorrectly, that we saw from our writing warm ups, so keep your eyes peeled for any spelling mistakes, that you've already seen in our warm up.

Now, I would like you to pause the video, and see whether you can spot any of the mistakes in my writing.

Off you go.

Okay? Everybody, hopefully, we've all pause the video and maybe you've used the skills, that we've developed so far in this unit, to help me spot which things I need to edit and improve.

So, let's check, of course, glaring out of the window comma, Now, Can you remember, at a previous lesson, What type of clause is glaring out of the window.

Think back to some previous skills that we've worked on in another lesson.

If you can remember glaring out of the window comma, what type of clause that? you're right.

Fantastic.

This is a non-finite subordinate clause.

Excellent, I know it's going finite, because it's got that ING version of the verb glaring and the subordinate clause, is about Sherlock Holmes, and the main clause is also about Sherlock Holmes.

So together they form a complex sentence.

So, let's read it now with the punctuation, capital letter for glaring, Glaring out of the window, comma, sherlock homes surveyed the streets outside.

Is there anything else in that sentence I need to improve? have a quick look.

Have you spotted anything? Oh, of course, how can I forget? sherlock needs a capital.

Can you explained to me again, why does Sherlock need a capital? Of course.

Well done.

It's a proper noun, it's a name, So, sherlock needs a capital S, oh, and Homes does as well.

Of course, because Holmes is his surname.

So, let's go again.

Glaring out of the Window, comma, Sherlock Homes surveyed the streets outside.

I think I'm finished now, super, of course, that's one of our spelling mistakes from the warm-up isn't? I spelled his name wrong.

Sherlock Homes has a silent L.

Okay.

So, one more time.

Glaring out of the window, comma, Sherlock Holmes surveyed the street outside.

My sentence is now ready to go.

Let's read the second sentence.

On an antiqe armchair john Watson was busy reading his newspaper and purposefully ignored his irritated colleague.

Now, there's a few tricky words in that sentence on an antiqe armchair that word antiqe, I'm not sure it's spelled correctly.

I feel like I missed a letter, can you help me, by telling me which letter I've missed out? Of course, the letter U, that Q U E, it's a really common letter string in French.

How could I forget? Thank you so much for reminding me.

Okay.

So, on an antique armchair that feels like there's something missing, can you tell me what punctuation I'm missing? This is a fronted adverbial phrase.

Telling me, where john watson was, it's actually a prepositional phrase, it's all coming back to me now, on an antique armchair, that's where john watson was, What punctuation do I need after a propositional phrase at start of a sentence? Thank you.

Of course, I need a comma, well done everyone.

Thanks for helping me.

Okay.

On an antique armchair, comma, john watson.

Another proper noun, what does it need again? Show me with your actions, John Watson.

Excellent, Was busy reading his newspaper and purposefully ignored his irritated colleeg, I think I'm done.

Do you agree? Yes or no? Three, two, one, show me.

What you think no, What else do I need? Oh, I think I've spotted it.

That word colleeg,I think I've misspelt it.

Can you write down the word colleague for me? The way you think it should be spelled? And show me whenever you've done.

It's a tricky one.

Okay.

So I know it's called C O L L E, and show me oh, thank you, colleague.

That's how we spelled the word colleague.

Have a quick check of my screen.

Jot down the word colleague, if you would like to, if you've used it in your writing.

Okay.

So, now I'm going to read the whole thing together.

Glaring outside the window, comma, Sherlock Holmes surveyed the street outside.

On an antique armchair, comma, John Watson was busy reading his newspaper, and purposefully ignored his irritated colleague.

full stop.

Now I feel, like my writing has been massively improved because of these edits, thank you so much for your help.

Sherlock Holmes walks across the room.

Well, to me, that looks fine.

All my words are spelled correctly, I've remembered my capital, letter for Sherlock Holmes.

I've remembered my full stop.

I feel like my vocabulary could be a bit more ambitious and precise.

Let's start with that word, Walked.

It's a verb.

Could you suggest any alternative verbs, any synonyms, which mean the same thing as walked, but, maybe a bit more ambitious, so that my reader could picture, Sherlock Holmes moving across the room a little bit more accurately.

Some thinking time, and shout out any words that you think I should use instead of walked.

Oh, I can hear some great ideas.

Amazing.

Okay.

I think I'm going to go away with, strode, so, I'm going to cross out that word walks and beside it, right The word strode, I don't need to waste loads of time, rubbing my writing, instead, I'll just put one quick line through it and either above the word or beside it, if I can fit it in, I'll write my edit.

This sounds a lot better.

Sherlock Holmes Strode across the room.

That sounds a lot better.

Now, maybe I could use an adjective to describe the room.

Can you suggest any adjectives I could use to describe the office? Sherlock Holmes Strode across the room.

Oh, thank you for these suggestions, Really good ideas, make sure to say them really loudly, so I can hear you.

Amazing.

Thank you.

Okay.

I'm going to go with cluttered.

Sherlock Holmes Strode across the cluttered room.

Excellent.

Thank you.

Now, I want to see whether you could help me make this sentence complex.

I've already given you an as subordinate conjunction.

So, Sherlock Holmes, Strode across the cluttered room as, okay.

So, what was happening as Sherlock Strode across the room? Give me some suggestions, have some thinking time and pause the video now while you have a think about what your subordinate clause could be.

Okay, everyone I've been hearing some incredible ideas from you now, I'm going to give you an example of a subordinate clause, that we might have used.

As he puffed heavily on his pipe.

So let's read the full sentence.

Sherlock Holmes, strode across the cluttered room, as he puffed heavily on his pipe.

He did those two things at the same time.

So I use, the subordinate conjunction as.

Thank you so much for your help so far.

Now, in our previous couple of lessons we've worked really hard on punctuating speech.

I want you to pause the video now, while you rewrite this sentence on your page, and add in all of the speech punctuation I need.

This is a speech first sentence off you go.

Okay, everyone, Hopefully, you've all pause the video.

And everyone's had a go at punctuating the speech for our sentence.

Now we're going to go through it together.

Of course I needed to have my inverted commas around what the agitated detective had said.

So he said, "I'm sick of waiting!" That means I needed my inverted commas before, I'm, and inverted commas, after the exclamation mark.

I also needed my capital letter, or the first word of the speech sentence.

And because he had exclaimed, I know that I should be using an exclamation mark.

Thank you so much for your help.

Now, here's a speech, second sentence.

So, the narrator begins, by saying John Watson replied, and then John Watson actually said, another mystery will appear any moment now.

I would like you to pause the video, while you punctuate this speech, second sentence for me.

Okay.

Everyone, I have been seeing, some incredible editing going on.

Now, let's see whether you managed to get all of the edits.

So, John Watson, proper noun needs capital letters, replied comma, open inverted commas, capital letter.

So, let's just go through that again, Comma, open inverted commas, and capital letter.

"Another mystery will appear any moment now." full stop, close inverted commas, well done, if you got that.

Now, if there are any parts of that sentence that you missed just quickly add them in now, where you've written this sentence down on your page.

Thank you again, so much for this help everybody.

So, now we're going to move on to our independent task.

Now it's time for you to edit your writing.

Now, here we have a little checklist.

These are some things that are very, very common mistakes, that people often make.

When you are writing, You're thinking so much, about the incredible vocabulary, trying to show up all the new skills you've got.

That sometimes little things get left behind.

So, check for capital letters, Check you've remembered them at the start of a sentence, and you've used them for proper nouns.

Particularly, watching like for Sherlock Holmes and John Watson.

Next, spellings, use a dictionary or your word banks, if you're not sure, if a spelling looks incorrect to you, then that's a bit of a hint that there may be something missing.

So, use those word banks or use your dictionary to help you.

Next punctuation.

So, thinking about those commas, after a prepositional openers, using commas after non-finite subordinate clauses, making sure we've got our full stops at the end of our sentences.

And we've used our full speech punctuation.

Then I want you to check for sense, does it sound right? Have you, framed your sentences in the correct way? A good strategy to use there, is perhaps reading aloud somebody else, If you can, in your high school.

And get them to tell you whether they think it makes sense, after you've checked it yourself.

And finally, add improvements to make your vocabulary more ambitious.

Remember, we want our reader to be able to picture exactly, what is going on in the scene.

And we can do that by choosing the most precise, ambitious vocabulary.

Okay, everyone.

Now I would like you to pause the video, to edit your writing, and remember to use the checklist.

Now, I would suggest, that you write the checklist on your page, first.

And then you can tick them off after, you have checked each one.

And when you're finished, you can press play.

Now, we've just completed our editing, you should be feeling so proud of everything you have done so far.

Now, I'm going to read you a few sentences, describing the office, which we've already done.

But the very end of this writing, is going to lead us into our next writing icon.

So I would like you to just listen, enjoy, and you can read along with me, if you would like to.

Amidst the hustle and bustle of the streets stood a solitary, dilapidated house.

Shabby concrete steps led up to the towering, Oak front door and shadows danced against the cracked walls.

Inside number 221b Baker street was an office.

This room was a quiet haven from the chaos of the street outside.

Warm embers of a fire burned in the fireplace and bathed the room in a soothing amber glow.

The walls were lined with bulky, leather-bound books and in the corner, an ancient clock ticked away the seconds.

The peace and tranquillity of the office was broken by heavy, thundering footsteps.

"It's been weeks since our last case!" Complained a tall, irritated man as he paced the room like a caged lion.

Watching from an antique armchair, his friends and colleague, John Watson replied, "Sherlock, please calm down.

Another mystery will present itself any day now.

." At that moment, both men were startled by the abrupt rattling of the letter box.

Striding towards the front door, Sherlock spotted a large, heavy-looking envelope, lying on the floor.

What could it be? Tearing it open impatiently.

The detective scanned the contents of the letter, his eyes widening with every word.

"Watson!" He shouted, his eyes brimming with excitement.

"We've got one!" "We've got another case to solve!" Okay, everyone.

That's going to lead us on, to our next writing outcome.

Thank you, and well done for all of your hard work so far, you should be so proud of your writing outcomes in this unit.