Lesson video

Hi everyone, today's lesson is an editing lesson.

When we are editing we are making changes to our writing.

We are checking for spelling mistakes, we are checking that sentences make sense, punctuation, we might even want to change the way the sentences are written the structure, the language choices, the words.

So in this lesson, that's what I'm going to be helping you to do.

When you are ready, we can begin.

Brilliant, so what you will need today is actually you need to go and get your recounts from the previous lesson.

You need to get a different coloured pen or pencil and you need to get extra paper because we need to practise before we edit our writing.

So Please pause the video and go and get those things.

Let's look at the agenda.

Starting off with the purpose of editing, why do we edit? Why is it important? What things do we need? When we are editing to remind us of what to do? Then we're going to have a little practise and then you are going to edit your recounts.

What is the purpose of editing? So I said that we were going to edit our writing today.

But what is editing? I've mentioned it briefly You can see that a picture of someone editing their writing you can see they've used a different colour pen.

Editing is the process of making any changes needed to improve our writing so when we edit it's the purpose of it is to make our writing better.

When you edit you decide what will stay and what will be changed.

Even really successful authors need and want to edit their work.

They have to.

What does it involve though? Have a think I'd like you to pause now and have a think what I've given you slight clues, but what does it really involve? Have a think.

Hopefully you've had a chance to have a think.

So it involves us, re-reading and reflecting on our writing.

So we've got to re-read and reflect.

We've got to identify what we have done well, not only just thinking of things that we need to improve, but what have we done well, because we've got to celebrate that.

We've got to identify areas for improvement.

Correct the errors, make changes and make additions to our writing.

Let's look at the checklist to remind us of what to do.

So in our previous lesson, we wrote a recount, and we use this success criteria to help us.

So with this in mind, we need to remember that time conjunctions could be a thing that we might want to edit, we might want to take, somehow we might want to replace some facts we might want to include additional facts brackets, and we might want to amend journalistic sentence starters or if we don't have a complex sentence with a relative close that's what we've got to put in today.

What's the checklist though? What areas do we need to check for? We've got to check for punctuation.

We've got to check for sense does it make sense to the reader and spelling.

Spelling is a big one, we've got to check that if it is all spelt correctly.

We also need to think about language choices.

Sentence types, have we got a range of sentence types, not just complex sentences, not just compound but a range and the structure, overall structure of our writing.

Do we need to change any of that? Let's have a look at practising now.

Let's practise using the checklist below, punctuation sense and spelling, we're just going to focus on those three things.

In this piece of writing.

You may pause the video and read it through yourself.

Do that now and then press play.

Now I'm going to read it to you.

It is believed that a first robbery occurred yesterday evening at the Malibu coffee shop Regent Street.

Police received their first emergency call at precisely 5:20pm.

From witnesses reporting hearing screaming at the cafe, which were packed with office workers on their way home.

Can you now check for the errors below.

Punctuation, sense and spelling? Pause the video and write out in the correct form.

Let's check now.

I hope you've got the same edits as I do.

I checked for punctuation, sense and spelling.

So I had those three in mind.

I went through the first sentence, it is believed that the first robbery and I came across robbery and it just didn't look right to me.

And I remembered my spelling for rob, robbery needs a double B, I need to double that consonant so doubled it.

And then I went on to the next line, the second line, still the first sentence with the second line down and I knew that Malibu coffee shop needed capital letters and Regent Street need capital letters because they are proper now they're the names of places.

And also it just didn't seem like that Malibu coffee shop Regent Street would be together so put that in brackets because I knew that was given me extra information.

My second sentence police starting with police received, I checked my knowledge of the spelling of I before E except after C.

So I changed that.

And then I carried on their first emergency or at precisely 5:20 from witnesses reporting, hearing, screaming, and I changed at the cafe to inside the cafe because at isn't the appropriate preposition which were packed with offers any change a word to was, which was packed with office workers on their way home because we're does not make sense it's not the right grammar to use here.

Let's have a go at this one now.

Pause the video and read it through and when you finish press play.

Now I will read it to you.

Many witnesses reported seeing two men wearing dark coloured hoodie headed jumpers woollen balaclavas and holding guns emerging from the location waving automatic rifles in the air and threatening shaking pedestrians.

Check for the errors below punctuation, sense and spelling.

I want you to pause the video and have a go at doing those of three edits.

Great let's have a look at my editing.

So obviously I have to start my sentences with a capital letter so I put a capital letter on top of many.

Starting with a capital M.

Many witnesses reported seeing two and two didn't look right to me the spelling of two to two I needed that number to have crossed out that too, because that means too means additional men wearing dark coloured hooded dumpers and so changes sentences and woollen balaclavas, image of cross and holding guns, emerging from the location waving automatic rifles because I didn't want to repeat that there was two the same thing.

Automatic rifles and the spelling of rifles was wrong in the air and threatening didn't look right to me so threatening should have an A in it.

Shaken pedestrians full stop, didn't have a full stop at the end.

So that was important.

Hopefully you've got the same edits as me.

Now it is time for you to do your independent task.

Pause the video to complete your task.

You will re-read and edit your recount, focusing on those three areas that we've just looked at punctuation, sense check for sense and spelling.

Remember to click play to resume once you've finished.

Editing practise We're going to practise again, some editing this time.

We are going to focus on three other aspects of editing.

We're going to look at language choice, sentence types, and structure.

Let's look at the sentence below.

Loud gunshots were fired from the silver convertible.

Can you add more factual detail and use journalistic sentence starters to the sentence above, pause the video and have a go at changing the sentence to improve it.

Great, hopefully you've all had a go.

These are my edits.

I've included a journalistic sentence artists I've said many witnesses claim that I didn't want to put loud because I didn't think that was factual enough to said that gunshots were fired from the silver convertible comma, which police believed to be the suspects car.

Some adding more information I'm changing the structure of my sentence I'm putting in a which I'm changing my sentence type, so that it is now a complex sentence.

Hopefully you've changed your's too, and I'm sure you've done really well with your edits.

Let's have a go at practising a second sentence.

A strange person was seen swinging from building to building.

Can you add more factual detail and use journalistic sentence starters.

Pause the video and have a go at that.

Let's look at my edits.

I've included a journalistic sentence out I've said it is believed that and I've crossed out a strange person because I didn't think that that was formal enough.

I put an anonymous figure was seen swinging rapidly, just included that extra language, choice, extra word type.

From building to building along Oxford Street during rush hour, some adding extra information here.

I've added a little phrase at the end, comma during rush hour, adding an adverbial phrase and giving extra information.

Now is your turn to pause the video to complete your task.

You're going to re-read and edit to recount.

Make sure you have these three things in mind when you're making your improvements, language choice, sentence types, and the overall structure of your writing.

Click Play, once you finish to resume the video.

Amazing you have come to the end of the lesson and in this lesson we've thought about all of these things.

Why do we edit? What do we need when we edit? We've got a checklist.

We've practised a bit of editing and then we've edited our own recounts.

Brilliant.

So it would be amazing if you could share your edited recounts with Oak National we would love to see those newspaper reports.

Ask a parent or carer to share your learning to show your writing on Instagram, Facebook or Twitter making sure you tag @OakNational and #LearnwithOak.

So that we can see it too.