Lesson video

In this lesson you will need an exercise book or some paper, a pencil or something to write with and your brain needs to be switched on, ready for our learning.

If you need to go and get anything, pause the video and go and get it now.

Welcome to lesson 12 of this unit, my name is Miss Salter.

Today we're going to start with a writing warm-up, we're then going to look at our story staircase.

We're then going to watch the build-up of the borrowers and then we're going to plan the build-up, then finally, we're going to do a plenary task.

For your writing warm-up, I would like you to write a speech second sentence for the image below, you can use the speech sandwich to help you, pause the video and complete this task.

Well done for having a go at the writing warm-up, I asked you to write a speech second sentence for the image below.

This is the speech sentence I came up with, The concerned borrower shook his head, "I have been seen by a boy!" Let's check my punctuation, the concerned borrower is the name of the person speaking, this time I've referred to Pod as a concerned borrower.

He shook his head, I've given some action.

Then I have my comma before my speech second, then I have my inverted commas and my capital letter, I, I have been seen by a boy.

And then I've used an exclamation mark, and finally, my second set of inverted commas.

Well done, if you managed to punctuate your speech second sentence correctly.

Okay, let's run through our story staircase, can you remember the four main parts of a story, can you say them to your screen? Let's check if you're right, we've got the opening, the build-up, the climax and finally the resolution.

We have already completed our opening and we've written about it.

Now, today, we're going to be focusing on the build-up and planning the build-up scene.

Okay, we're going to watch the first part of the build-up again.

Again, I want you to think about who the characters are, where the setting is and what's happens in this scene.

Let's find out.

What is it? I've been seen.

Where were you? In the nursery.

In the nursery? but there's no one in.

Shh.

There's no one in the nursery is there? A boy.

Oh no, not a boy.

There's no worse human being than a boy.

Why did you go? Oh no, don't start, it's all right, it's all right.

What are we going to do? I don't know.

But we're not going to emigrate, are we, not when I've just got the house so nice.

I tripped, dropped the cup and he caught it.

He watched me climb down, gave it to me.

"Here you are," he said.

He spoke to you? Yes, he did.

Now, maybe, only maybe mind, he won't tell anyone.

We'll know Soon enough if he does.

Okay, now pause the video and tell someone at home or tell your screen what happened so far in the build-up.

Okay, now let's watch the second half of the build-up.

Again, I want you to think about who the characters are in this scene, where is it set, what's the setting like and what is happening? Let's find out.

Just suppose there was.

You went borrowing again.

What does that got to do with it.

No, that's not what I was going to say.

If we'd had a boy, I'd be teaching him to borrow now, wouldn't I, just like my father taught me.

Yes, you would but we've got Arrietty.

Yes, I know.

Homily, have you ever thought what would happen to her? Well, to both of you, if I couldn't go on borrowing anymore.

Oh, don't even think of such a thing.

But it will happen Homily, one day, won't it.

That's why I've got to teach Arrietty to borrow.

Okay, so now we've watched the whole build-up, I want you to tell someone at home what happens in the whole build-up, or you can tell your screen.

Pause the video and have a go at explaining what happens in the entire build-up.

Okay, so for today's lesson, we are going to be planning the build-up.

We're going to think of sentence starters, some adjectives, verbs, adverbs for our action.

We're also going to be using speech and we're going to use the show not tell features that we looked at in last lesson.

I would like you to divide your paper into four parts, you can write the headings in each of the parts.

Okay, let's start planning the build-up, first, we're going to look at the first scene where Pod tells Homily that he has been seen by the boy upstairs.

Let's have a look at some sentence starters that we can use in this scene.

I'm thinking of some fronted adverbials that tell me when, where, or how something has happened.

The first one I came up with is, at bedtime.

That's telling me when it's happening and with a fronted adverbial, I always must have a comma, at bedtime, comma.

The next sentence starter I came up with was, later that night, comma.

Again, another fronted adverbial to tell me when it is happening.

And then finally, I thought about, at the doorway.

Where is Pod standing when he's telling Homily that he has seen the boy, at the doorway, comma.

You can write these onto your planning sheet.

Okay, let's have a look at our action, our adjectives, verbs and adverbs for this scene.

He stood nervously by the door, Pod was standing nervously at the door when he was telling Homily what had happened.

I remember that I have to write everything in past tense because it has already happened, he stood nervously by the door.

I've also got anxiously approached his wife, Pod walks very slowly towards his wife but we don't want to say that he walks slowly because that's not exciting enough.

I want to use verbs and adverbs that are going to make my writing really exciting, so he anxiously approached his wife.

Write these ideas onto your plan.

Can you think of any other sentence starters we might want to use? You can write these down now, pause the video and have a go at writing down some sentence starters, and some more action for this scene.

For the next part of our plan, we're going to think about speech, what is Pod saying to Homily? What does Homily reply? I want you to write two speech sentences for Pod and Homily, I then want you to write some show not tell features.

From last lesson, we looked at show not tell, this is when we describe what a character is doing, that shows us what they are feeling.

Here is an example that I used, tears streamed down Homily's cheeks, we haven't said she's upset, we've used show not tell, to show how she is feeling.

I want you to have a go at coming up with some show not tell features for both Pod and Homily.

Pause the video and have a go.

Well done for doing such a fantastic job and coming up with your speech sentences, and show not tell for this scene.

I'm going to give you some examples of what I came up with, feel free to take some of my ideas too.

The first piece of speech I came up with was, "I have been seen," stuttered Pod.

I used stuttered because it really shows how Pod is feeding, he's quite anxious and scared to tell Homily.

The next speech sentence I decided to use was, Homily cried in despair, "Oh what will we do?" Homily is really worried and anxious about what's happening in this scene and the fact that the family may have to leave, she's crying the whole way through.

I also came up with some more, show not tell features.

The first one, the tears streamed down her cheeks, we've also got, he caressed his wife's leg, to reassure Homily, he caressed her leg to make her feel better.

And then finally he bowed his head, Pod was feeling quite disappointed that he got seen by the boy upstairs, so he bows his head in shame.

Pause the video and add these to your plan now.

Now, we're going to plan the second half of the build-up, this is where Pod tells Homily that he wants to teach Arrietty to borrow.

I now want you to independently come up with your own sentence starters and action for this scene.

You may like to look at to the fronted adverbials that we came up with in the first part of our plan, use these to help you.

Pause the video and complete this task.

Well done for independently writing some ideas on your plan and coming up with some sentence starters, and action that you can use in your writing.

These are some of the ideas that I came up with.

So for sentence starters, I came up with, the next morning.

So when it is happening, the next morning, comma.

As Pod looked at his wife, so he's looking at Homily and he's discussing this with her.

For action, I thought about where they were and what they were doing.

He sat beside his apprehensive wife, she's a bit unsure about what's happening and why he's asking her about borrowing.

And then I put that he made his decision, Pod had decided that he was going to ask Arrietty to borrow with him, so he'd already made his decision without asking Homily.

Pause the video now and add these ideas to your plan.

And now I want you to think about the speech and show not tell, that you would use in this scene.

I'd like you to pause the video and come up with two speech sentences, and to show not tell features that you could use for this scene.

Pause the video now and complete this task.

Well done for completing that task and coming up with some fantastic speech sentences, and show not tell.

Here are some of the ideas that I came up with.

We've got, "But we do not have a boy, we have Arrietty," said Homily.

Think about what synonyms for said, we might use.

We might say that she replied or responded, or answered what Pod was saying.

My speech sentence for Pod, "I need to teach Arrietty to borrow!" He announces this and declares it to Homily without asking her about it.

So those might be the synonyms for said, I will use, announced, declared.

Let's have a look at some show not tell, we've got his eyes stared at the floor.

From last lesson, we looked at some show not tell and this was one of the ones we came up with.

I then got smiled nervously, you can see it in the scene that Homily doesn't really know what Pod is getting to, when he's speaking.

She smiles nervously at him because she's apprehensive about what's going to happen.

And then finally, her lip quivered as she looked through glassy eyes, her eyes are quite glassy, which tell us that she might be quite upset and her lip quivers.

You can add these ideas to your plan, pause the video and add these to your plan.

For your plenary task, I would like you to orally rehearse your plan.

All that means is to go through your plan and speak through it as if you are writing sentences.

I want you to use your sentence starters and actions to come up with some different sentence types to use in your writing in the next lesson.

This is really good for you to say your sentences out loud, to give you a really good insight of what your writing will be like.

It also gives you an idea of the different sentences you might want to use in your writing in the next lesson.

Pause the video and complete this task.

Okay, so this is an example of how you might orally rehearse your plan.

So I'm going to use my sentence starters and my action, and maybe even a bit of show and tell, to orally rehearse a sentence.

So I'm going to use the sentence starter, the next morning, comma.

The next morning, comma, Pod sat beside his apprehensive wife and bowed his head, it sets the scene for when Pod is just about to ask Homily about Arrietty borrowing.

If you would like to have another go at already rehearsing your plan, pause the video now and have another go.

Use your sentence starters, your action and your show not tell, to already rehearse a sentence that you might want to use in your writing in the next lesson.

Pause the video now and have a go at this task.

Congratulations, you have completed the 12th lesson in this writing unit.

You've done such a fantastic job of coming up with ideas for our planning, for the build-up.

In the next lesson, we're going to use these brilliant plans to write the build-up.