Lesson video

Hi everyone.

It's me Ms. Chu.

Welcome back to another lesson.

The last lesson of this biography unit.

In this lesson we will be finishing off our biography.

In the previous lesson you wrote the introduction and two subheadings.

In this lesson you'll be writing the last two subheadings and the conclusion where we round it all off.

It's really important at the end of this lesson that we read through our biography from the start to the finish.

That means from introduction all the way through to the conclusion.

We need to check that it flows, that it makes sense, that we haven't got any errors and that it reads beautifully which I'm sure it will.

So when you're ready I'm excited because we are now coming to the end and in the end we will see the final product.

Is very very exciting and thrilling.

So when you're ready we can begin.

Just like the last lesson you will need an exercise book or paper, a pen or pencil.

And you need to be super focused because we are now coming to the end of our biography and we need to make sure that is just as good as the first half.

What's the agenda for today? Well, we're not going to have a warm up today.

We just going to go straight in recap some planning, because we've got a great big section to write today.

We're going to look at some shared writing and some modelled writing today.

And then in between that, we are going to write our own biographies.

We're going to do the independent task in between each section.

And then at the end, we're going to read over the whole biography, which is why we need the whole lesson today.

We're not going to do our warmup.

We're going to use the time to read over the whole writing, which will take a while.

Let's recap the planning.

So we have already done the title, the introduction of our biography.

And we have written two subheadings and paragraphs.

Under those subheadings written two main section main bodies of our biographies.

Now we are going to write the other two.

So we've done the title the introduction, Early Life and School Life.

And today we are going to look at voyages, discoveries and the conclusion.

Voyages, discoveries and the conclusion is what we need to focus on today.

Let's remind ourselves of the success criteria.

I have used a range of adverbial sentence starters.

Adverbial sentence starters.

I have written a complex sentence with a relative clause.

Relative clause.

I have used a range of formal and or but conjunctions.

Formal conjunctions.

Let's remind ourselves what adverbial starters could be.

They could be time conjunctions, they could be adverbs.

What's a complex sentence with the relative clause? Complex sentence has a main clause and a subordinate clause.

The subordinate clause in this example is a relative clause using pronouns who or which.

And then lastly we have our and conjunctions, which build on a previous point.

You're adding to it.

And our but conjunctions contrast any ideas that we've written.

Now, let's look at some shared writing.

Voyages.

Again, we need to use the notes that we retrieved from a non-fiction text.

You need to look at yours.

Brilliant, so we've got our subheading of voyages.

And just there where I've got mine I've just put in the last sentence from the previous subheading of School Life.

Just to remind me how I can start this new paragraph, so it can follow on really smoothly.

Let's read it.

It was Charles's love of collecting bugs and studying the natural world that led him to an opportunity of a lifetime.

So what opportunity was this? Let's look at our plan.

It was an opportunity to accompany Captain Robert FitzRoy on a trip around the world.

So let's put that in.

This rare opportunity fell into his lap one day.

When was this? After a fossil hunting trip in Wales.

That's after first bullet point.

So let's put that in.

He had received.

What did he receive? How did he know he had this opportunity? He had received a letter.

On the letter put his name down.

Captain Robert FitzRoy.

Capital R Roy.

Why did he want him? He was requesting Charles.

Wasn't he? To accompany him on a trip around the world.

It was a chance for Charles.

We could say again, we've already used Charles.

Let's refer to him in a different way.

For young.

We could say man or explorer.

To visit faraway.

This is one of our bullet points.

Faraway places and see all the natural wonders of the world.

And let's give an exclamation mark cause that's super super exciting.

Let's read it over.

Check that it makes sense and check our punctuation and spelling.

This rare opportunity fell into his lap one day after a fossil hunting trip in Wales.

He had received a letter from Captain Robert Fitzroy requesting Charles.

Requesting.

He had received a letter requesting Charles.

I think that should be requesting him.

He had received a letter requesting him to accompany the captain on a trip around the world.

It was a chance for the young explorer to visit faraway places and see all the natural wonders of the world.

Happy with that.

Now we will look at the second section of our voyages subheading.

You need to look at your notes because those notes are going to help us to write the second paragraph.

Excellent.

The plan says the Beagle set sail 27th December 1831.

Survey coast of South America.

How are we going to make that into a sentence? So the Beagle.

What was the Beagle? It was a vessel.

It was a ship.

So we could start with the vessel.

The ship.

It's up to you.

In which they were travelling in.

Then let's give the name, HMS Beagle.

Set sail on the 27th of December 1831.

And headed head straight for.

Where did it go? Straight for the coast of South America.

Probably exciting.

We've got our two bullet points now written into one sentence.

Let's look at the second, at the third, sorry.

This third bullet point, the fourth one.

Something about him exploring.

Maybe we could say every time the ship.

We've used vessel let's use a synonym.

The ship docked.

Charles hired.

Hired then here.

It's in our notes.

Hide guides and horses and went exploring on land.

Then my last bullet point descriptions of new places he wrote that in his notebook.

So let's put that in it.

It wasn't long until he started filling.

Let's use the word filling.

All his notebooks.

With.

What was it? Descriptions of new places, people, new people and animals.

That's what he was meant to do on this trip.

And he was doing it very very eagerly.

Okay, let's read it through.

The vessel in which they were travelling in set sail.

Oh, HMS Beagle set sail on the 27th of December 1831 and headed straight for the coast of South America.

Every time the ship docked, Charles hired guides and horses and went exploring on land.

It wasn't long until he started filling all his notebooks with descriptions of new places, people, plants and animals.

I've got my.

I've got a time another day.

Since one of the things features of a biography.

So I've got that in there.

I've got my brackets, additional information.

Happy with that.

And lastly the third part of our voyages subheading is the part where he returns to England.

Have a look at your notes and your plan.

And I will show you how we can turn those into a paragraph.

We are now onto the last paragraph of still under the same subheading of voyages of this biography.

Let's look at his journey back to England.

First bullet point.

Journey back to England visited Galapagos.

Let's start with.

On the long journey.

Let's give it a little bit more description.

Back to England, HMS Beagle visited the Galapagos.

At first.

If you use at first.

This group of islands.

That's where they were or they're.

Islands looked a bit boring.

Why? Let's explain.

We use a colon to explain.

It was surrounded by hot black rocks, stubby smelly shrubs and black sandy beaches.

Probably something that Charles Darwin would not be seeing.

Let's use a formal conjunction now.

However, when Charles saw the unusual plants and animals.

What happened? Animals.

He changed his mind, didn't he? He changed his mind and he ended up spending.

He spent five weeks exploring and collecting all types of specimens.

I know he sent some specimens back.

Then because this is our last paragraph of this subheading, let's use a linking sentence link on to our next subheading which is discoveries.

And that's when he's at home.

So let's say after his five year voyage around the world, Charles returned home.

Full stop.

And that's when we will go into our next subheading about what he does when he returns home.

Let's read through.

On the long journey back to England, HMS Beagle visited the Galapagos.

At first, this group of islands looked a bit boring: Colon to explain.

It was surrounded by hot black rocks, stubby smelly shrubs and black Sandy beaches.

However, when Charles saw the unusual plants and animals, he changed his mind.

Because we know he loves exploring, don't we? He spent five weeks exploring and collecting all types of specimens.

After his five year voyage around the world, Charles finally.

we could put in.

Finally returned home.

Amazing.

Now it's your turn.

Use the success criteria.

Use your plan, notes.

Good luck.

Shared Writing.

Discoveries.

Again, we're going to use the notes that we made on the discovery section.

Following on from our last paragraph our last subheading about his voyages.

We are now going to write the paragraph about his discoveries.

Or the main discovery that he came up with.

This happened when he returned.

So upon his return.

What happened? Looks like he's.

Let's look at the plan.

He filled notebooks.

He started to fill notebooks.

With what? With ideas.

We could even say.

Upon his return Charles had no desire to be a clergyman anymore.

Let's say that.

Because he started to fill notebooks with ideas.

And our second bullet point.

And wrote to experts around the world.

He read hundreds of books.

So the most important book.

So one of the most important books that he read was Thomas Malthus's.

Let's name it.

An essay on the Principle of Population.

That was life changing for him.

It helped him.

Which helped him to realise that all animals.

And we've actually got our relative clue though.

Using a which helped him to realise that all animals are connected to each other.

That's when he started to put together his theory.

And what was his theory? Let's look at the bullet point.

His theory that one animal had descended.

One had descended from another.

One animal had descended from another animal by evolution.

Okay, let's have a look.

Let's read it through and check.

Upon his return, Charles had no desire to be clergyman anymore.

He started to fill notebooks with ideas and wrote to experts around the world.

One of the most important books that he read was Thomas Malthus's, An Essay on the Principle of Population.

Which helped him to realise that all animals are connected to each other.

That's when, that is when.

That's when he started to put together his theory.

We could even say his scientific theory.

His scientific theory, that one had descended from another.

The second part of the discovery section, using these notes now, would help us to write the second paragraph.

The next part of our discoveries subheading, we're going to write about his book.

This is the next stage of his discoveries in the first part.

He was writing to experts.

He was trying to put together his ideas.

And now we're going to talk about his book.

His famous book.

So in 1839, Charles's book about his Beagle adventures.

Brackets.

Let's say.

Later called The Voyage of the Beagle.

Close bracket.

Came out and became world's the world's best selling travel book.

I'll use use came out later too.

Charles's book called, later about his Beagle adventures was published and became world's best selling travel book.

Add bullet point.

In 1845, a new version hinted at his theory of evolution.

What was that? His theory of evolution.

Let's explain it.

It's the process of gradual selection of changes.

And that's also called.

Let's put natural selection.

Gradual or the process of gradual gradual selection of changes in characteristics.

Should we put in? In characteristics.

But it's called natural selection.

Let's read it through.

Ooh very technical.

In 1839, Charles's.

Oop Charles's book about his Beagle adventures, later called The Voyage of the Beagle was publish and became the world's best selling travel book.

In 1845, a new version hinted at his theory of evolution: which is.

Colon.

The process of gradual selection of changes in characteristics.

Natural selection.

We just need to read through that last bit to make sure that it makes sense.

The process of gradual selection of changes in characteristics.

Process of changes in characteristics.

Yes.

Also called natural selection.

Great.

Now it's your turn to write.

Do you think you already? Use the things that will support you.

Your success criteria and your plans.

Off you go.

In the last part of the biography we're going to look at some modelled writing.

The conclusion will be looking at modelled writing.

Let's remind ourselves what a conclusion is though.

It's not the same as the main body of the biography, the main body of the text.

In the conclusion we are drawing everything together.

It's coming to a close.

It summarises everything in the text.

Does not include any new facts.

And we have on our plans, some concluding conjunctions to start us off.

In summary.

To summarise.

In conclusion.

To conclude.

Excellent, my turn your turn.

In our conclusion let's have a look.

We have got our concluding conjunction, in summary.

We've started with that.

In summary.

Then we have said a general comment about Charles Darwin.

Charles Darwin is one of the most famous scientists in the world.

Then we go on to explain why generally.

Natural selection was such a powerful idea in explaining the evolution of life that it became established as a scientific theory.

So it went from being somebody or some people's.

Depends.

Who you think was involved in helping Darwin to come up with this theory.

It went from somebody's idea to now a scientific theory.

Pretty huge.

His theory of evolution is known to be just one of several mechanisms by which life evolves.

This is the reason he will forever be remembered as one of history's most influential scientists.

You want to end on his legacy.

When you are drawing everything together you're just saying him generally.

Who is he again? Why is he famous? Why do we know about him? His theory? And then lastly, what is the legacy? He will be remembered as one of history's most influential scientists.

So go ahead now.

Have a really good go at writing the conclusion.

It's quite tricky but I know you can do it.

You're drawing everything together.

Use the success criteria and your plans.

You might need all the concluding conclusions, conjunctions sorry.

Concluding conjunctions.

And now finally.

Big big task of reading back over our writing.

This time I would like you to read it from start to finish.

So this is a long pause.

You're going to read it from the start through to till the end.

Check that it makes sense.

Have you got the purpose right? What about punctuation? What about vocabulary? Could you check for spelling errors? And lastly, what will the reader feel? Will you feel that too? Hopefully you will enjoy it.

Remember to pause for a while now.

Wow, wow, wowes.

Well done.

You have worked so so hard in this lesson.

You've looked at some shared rights, modelled writing.

And then you have written your last part of your biographies.

Then you read over it.

This is amazing and you should feel so proud of yourself.

You have now come to the end of this unit.

You have written a biography about Charles Darwin.

You have completed your lesson.

Please share your work with Oak National.

We would love to see your writing.

Remember to ask a parent or carer to share your work on Instagram, Facebook or Twitter.

And make sure you tag @Oak national and #LearnwithOak.

This is Ms. Chu signing out for now.

Goodbye.