Lesson video

Hello, everybody.

It is me, Miss McCartney.

And I'm really excited because today, we are going to be writing the final section from our problem in our story.

We are going to use our writer's toolkit, to make sure that we create a problem that matters, to help our reader think about the wider world.

In today's lesson, you will need, something to write on, something to write with and your wonderful creative brain.

You will also need your chicks' thought bubbles that we created together in lesson six of unit seven.

If you need to go and collect to any of those things, pause your video now.

Excellent.

Let's have a little look at what we are going to be learning today.

We are going to start with a spelling activity.

Then we are going to review, our thought bubble to make sure we are prepared for our writing.

We are going to do a shared write about the third part of our problem.

And then we are going to edit our writing just like real authors.

Let's get started with our spelling today.

In lesson six and lesson eight of unit seven, we learned some words that have the ar phoneme but they are spelt -al.

I would like you to look at the letters on your screen and hunt to see if you can make any of those words.

I will give you one example.

I could use the letters, P, A, L and M to make the word palm.

I would like you to pause your video now and see how many words you can find.

Fantastic.

I see some learners who have made the words; calm, half, and calf.

You have done such a wonderful job, well done.

We are going to move on now to review our third thought bubble.

And this part of the story is when the chick starts to fall to the ground.

Now that is a big problem.

Not only just the chick not know who he is, but now he is falling to the ground and he has to make a decision In my thought bubble, I wrote, this is my worst nightmare.

I could break every bone in my body when I hit the ground.

What if I can fly? Will I still live with my family? Will I have to fly off and live with other eagles? I would like you to pause your video now and read your thought bubble.

Excellent.

I think it is now time to start the final paragraph of our three step problem.

Okay, everybody.

We are going to fill the third and final section of our problem.

But first, I would like you to write down your problem toolkit at the side of your piece of paper.

It's really helpful because it can remind us of the features that we are going to use.

We have got difficulty, consequences, so what if, thoughts and feelings and learning for the world.

So pause your video now, to write down your toolkit.

Fantastic, everybody.

Okay.

I am going to start with our difficulty today.

and the difficulty is, the chick falling to the ground.

I am going to start with all of a sudden.

All of a sudden.

That is my fronted adverbial.

What fronted adverbial will you use? You might have something like, out of nowhere or without warning.

Pause your video now and write down your fronted adverbial at this side, so that you can come back to it later.

Excellent.

So all of a sudden, the owl, flipped over leaving.

Oh no, leaving the chick to fall.

Poor chick.

Okay.

Then I am going to write another action to give us a clue about what happens next.

I am going to say, in the distance, the chick saw.

As the chick was falling, what did he see? Did he see his family? Did he see something else happening in the world? Pause your video now and write down your idea at the side.

Okay.

In the distance the chick saw, my idea is, his mother.

Jumping up and down.

Okay, fantastic.

After he has seen that, I'm going to think about his thoughts and feelings.

I'm going to say the chick hoped, he could fly after all.

Can you pause your video now and think about your chick's, thoughts and feelings.

Pause your video now.

Okay, let's get started.

The chick hoped he might be able to fly after all.

Okay, fantastic.

I am now going to use some short, sharp actions.

I'm going to say flap, flap, flap.

You might say fly, fly, fly.

Or you might use a feeling like, determination.

Choose your short, sharp action or feeling and pause your video now.

Brilliant.

So I'm going to use my three short actions, flap, flap, flap.

Okay, fantastic.

I am now going to think about my learning for the world.

When the chick got back to the ground safely, what do you think happened? I am going to write that his brothers and sisters, wanted, excuse my piece of paper, wanted to also learn how to fly.

So actually my learning for the world, is that he was still accepted by his brothers, his sisters.

Actually, they wanted him to teach them how to fly.

Pause your video now, and think about what you're learning for the world might be.

Excellent, so let's get started.

I'm going to say soon enough, that is a fronted adverbial to mark time.

You can use a fronted adverbial as well.

Soon enough, the chick was reunited with his, I'm going to describe his family as loving family.

His brothers and sisters.

Instead of using the word wanted, I'm going to say demanded his brothers and sisters demanded that, he teach them how to fly.

Just going to read that back to make sure it makes sense.

His brothers and sisters demanded that he teach them how to fly.

Fantastic.

And I'm going to finish with his thoughts and feelings.

So actually I'm going to say, the chick couldn't, remember we've got our apostrophe there to replace our O in our contraction.

The chick couldn't wait to race some eagles.

Okay.

I'm going to read my learning back.

All of a sudden, the owl flipped over leaving the chick to fall.

In the distance, the chick saw his mother jumping up and down.

And that tells me that she's very worried.

That is an action, a show don't tell action.

The chick hoped he might be able to fly after all.

Flap flap flap.

Soon enough, the chick was reunited with his loving family.

His brothers and sisters demanded that he teach them how to fly.

The chick couldn't wait to race some eagles.

I am super impressed with my ending because, I've really used different features from my toolkit.

I started with my difficulty.

I thought a lot about the chicks' thoughts and feelings and the learning for the world.

At the end, I have also thought about the consequences and the fact that he wants to race other eagles.

Pause your video now to complete your wonderful writing.

Storytelling superstars, you have done such a wonderful job with your writing.

We have learned how to make problems really matter for our reader.

So fantastic work.

It is now time to edit our work.

I would like you to check your work, to make sure that you have punctuated your sentences.

Make sure that you haven't got any really long sentences where you have forgot to use your capital letters and fullstops.

You can also see some other examples of punctuation on my screen, that you might need to have used.

Then you need to read your work and make sure it makes sense.

If you would like, you can read it out loud to me on your screen.

Because sometimes when we read our stories out loud, they really come to life and we can identify the really good parts and the parts that we might need to change.

You then need to check your toolkits and make sure that you have explored the difficulty, the consequences, what might happen next, thoughts and feelings, and learning about the world.

Pause your video now to edit your writing.

Now that you have edited your writing, I would love for you to hold it up to the screen so that I can have a little look.

Can you do that now? I am seeing such wonderfully, carefully crafted writing.

I can also see that some of our learners have crossed parts out and then changed them.

And that shows me that you have truly edited and improved your work, well done.

If you would like to, please ask your parent or carer to share your work on Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter, tagging, at Oak national and at teach T McCartney.

Hashtag learn with Oak.

I will see you soon.