Lesson video

Hello again, I'm Ms. Waddell.

We are writing our climax today.

Very exciting.

We've done some really fantastic preparation and now we get to write the most exciting bit.

And make our readers sit on the edge of their seats.

And make them need to read more and more of what we write.

So should we start? Okay here is our agenda.

First we're going to do a warm up together.

Then we're going to recap our plan and then we're going to do our shared write.

So let's get going.

First of all what you will need is your book or paper pencil and your notes from the previous lesson.

Because we're going to be using lots of our fantastic notes for your plan for the climax.

If you haven't got those now pause the video and go and get them.

Okay let's start our warm up now.

I just want you to reorder these pictures so that you've got the story in the right order.

So that its really fixed for when you come to do your writing today.

So pause and put these pictures in the right order and then come back and tell me what order the letters go in.

Okay what were they? Say it.

Pretty good.

C A E V D.

Now I want you to pause and retell it orally.

So say it out loud.

What happens? So first of all the bug zips off.

Then the horse rears up.

Then he gallops after him gallops after it.

Then the beetle splits in two.

And then the ground erupts.

Okay really good.

I think that's probably something like what you said too.

Now we're going to recap our plan.

So we've written the opening.

We've written the build up.

We're now on the climax.

It needs to confront the main problem.

Which means trying to solve it or do something about it at.

That main problem which is the bug coming to life and zipping off.

Lots of fast action.

I think we can do that.

And we need to make it very exciting ♪ and make our reader's heart beat fast.

♪ Make our reader want to read on.

So we are just focusing on this bit of the action.

So the story will stop this bit of the story will stop just as the ground starts to whoosh whoosh.

Remember? Okay.

I want you to have to hand your notes from previous lessons so you've got some really good adverbial phrases.

At the beginning you've got some really good nouns.

You've got some really good adjectives ready to start into your writing.

You also came up with some fantastic similes for scared.

And there are some of the ones that you've got in your notes ready for when we write.

Of course we've got some sentences as well.

So you can slot some sentences in.

If you weren't happy with those ones you could also make them better.

Up to you.

Now we're ready for our shared write.

Here's our success criteria.

So this is what I want you to include.

I want you to make sure you cover all the action.

So what does the reader need to know for it to make sense? Because remember you are pulling them along.

I could kind of fish with hook in my mouth.

I could fish with the hook in my mouth if you didn't hear that.

To pulling them along in the story.

We need vivid verbs and adverbs We need precise adjectives.

We need a range of nouns so we're not just saying the same thing over and over again.

And we need to start our sentences in different ways.

We're getting used to this.

Now we know how to do it.

So we also need to make sure our sentences make sense with our punctuation.

We need to do our two finger check of both.

We need to sound out our words stretch them sometimes.

We need to check they're really there.

Putting a finger on words.

And we need to make sure we only have commas where there is rule.

So let's do our shared write.

Mmmm, I want to start with something quite fast.

So I want a fast time conjunction.

Or a fast fronted adverbial.

Could you give me one from your notes? Yup, I could use that one.

In a flash.

In a flash the glowing beetle would do it.

Yup I could say could you just tell me? Lots of good ideas there.

In a flash the glowing beetle shot off into the dark dark dark ness.

We'll stop! And I want something I actually want to put in a sound effect.

Cause its quite a vrooom.

So I'm going to say in capitals ziing! With three i's.

Ziing! A capital and an exclamation mark.

Cause it's that sound zing.

Then who what happens next? In a flash the glowing beetle shot off into the darkness.

Ziing! Jafar's startled horse.

Cause we want to describe the horse and I got startled from our notes.

Startled horse.

Now what did it do? How do we say that? It reared up.

That's right.

Reared up.

I'm going to extend this sentence.

Make it a compound.

And what did they do? And do-do-do-do-do.

And yes.

And they galloped.

Found the one, galloped.

Just as you'd expect.

Quickly quickly after it.

We'll stop.

I want to say something about something.

What did he do? He.

He.

Jafar gripped now tightly to the reins.

Okay, I'm going to stop there.

And we're going to look at it together.

I need to make sure I've got that action and reaction.

So I need to make sure I've got all of those images or something written about all of those images.

In a flash the blowing beetle shot off into the darkness.

Zing! Jafar's startled horse reared up and they galloped rapidly after it.

Jafar gripped tightly to the reins.

I think I've covered all that action and reaction.

So now let's see if we've got some vivid adverbs and verbs.

So let's see.

Can you put your finger on one? Great.

I'll take that in a flash and another one.

The glowing beetle shot off yeah shot off into the darkness.

Zing! Jafar's startled horse reared up.

Good.

And they put your finger on the next one.

Galloped, good.

On the next one.

Rapidly after it.

Jafar gripped tightly to the reins.

I didn't take those ones but those ones are there too.

So I've got my vivid adverbs and verbs.

So have I used precise adjectives? Let's go back.

In a flash the he gripped tightly and then out.

The glowing, good.

The glowing beetle.

So I'm also looking at my nouns now.

The glowing beetle shot off into the darkness.

Zing! Jafar's startled horse.

So that's another noun.

Startled horse.

Reared up and they galloped rapidly after it.

Jafar gripped tightly to the rein.

So I have got a some precise adjectives.

And I have used a range of nouns.

So have I started my sentences in different ways? In a flash, comma.

Zing! It's a nice one word sound effect.

Jafar.

And then Jafar gripped.

So I did say Jafar twice in a row but maybe that's okay.

Maybe the next sentence I don't want to start with Jafar just in case.

So I would say I have started my sentences in different ways.

Okay now let's do our punctuation sense check.

Put your finger on my first capital letter.

There it is.

And on the full stop at the end of that sentence.

In a flash, the glowing beetle shot off into the darkness.

There it is.

And my next capital letter.

There it is.

Good, glad it's there.

And then this time I haven't got a capital letter I've got an exclamation mark.

And that closes my one word sound effects sentence.

And next capital letter.

Check its there.

Yeah.

And then Jafar's startled horse reared up and then galloped rapidly after it.

We'll stop.

Good.

Doing pretty well on this one.

And then next one.

It's slightly wrong place.

But there it is.

Jafar and grips tightly, tightly to the ahhh, boom.

Better luck then the last time though.

No full stop there.

Okay, better now.

I have a bit of a dry throat.

So we've done our two finger check.

Started that last missing full stop.

Now we're going to sound out our words and check that they're really there.

So can you put your finger on the word as I said it? Said in a flash the glowing oh below the snow.

Yup.

Bee e tle shot off.

Triple f.

Yeah.

Into the dark ness.

Darkness, good.

Zing! Jafar's startled horse reared, that's right up and they galloped.

Funny one.

It's a double L instead of a double P.

Rapidly after it.

Jafar gripped.

So it's a short, short vowel sound with a double consonant.

Gripped tightly.

I fly high to the reins.

And that's a funny spelling of reins.

But it's a correct one.

Okay.

So we have definitely sounded out our words and checked they're really there.

Thank you for your help.

Putting your finger on each of them or near each of them as I said it to make sure they really were there.

Okay.

Now the next bit of action in this climax.

What happened next? We've got shhhhhh.

The ground.

What did it do? The ground to tell me one of your words.

Could be shake, that works.

Could be tremble.

That's another good one.

The ground began to tremble.

The ground began to shake.

The ground began to vibrate.

That was another one.

Good.

I'm going to say shake.

You might choose to use a different one.

I'm going to do a simple sentence.

The ground began to shake.

Sometimes having just a few short simple sentences in your climax makes things fast as you read it.

The ground began to shake.

Action, action, action.

Jafar's Jafar's.

Belongs to Jafar so I've got an apostrophe.

Heart.

How did it beat? Heart.

Oh I said heart heart beats could beat violently.

Could beat powerfully.

Mmmm, that's a good one.

We didn't have that one before.

Hard.

Jafar's heart beat hard.

Yeah, that could work.

Wildly.

I'm going to use wildly.

Any of those other ones were good as well.

When it's extended Jafar's heart beat wildly in his.

Where's your heart? Chest.

As I'm going to make it a complex sentence.

As a let's describe it.

What was it like? Because I think it was like a monster.

So I'm going to say monstrous beast you don't know what it is rose.

How did it rise? Like it was going do something bad.

Ohhhh, I'm going to say menacingly.

Menacingly out of the desert.

We'll stop.

Okay.

So we're going to check in just a sec to see we've got everything that we need.

Okay, let's just have a look.

I've highlighted the bits to make sure that we've got them.

The capital letter.

oh no, first let's check the success criteria.

We need to write the action reaction vivid adverbs and verbs, precise adjectives range of nouns start sentences in different ways.

Okay, so I can see I've got some pink adjectives.

I've got some green adverbs.

I've got a nice way of referring to the ground as the beast.

And let's check my capital letters and full stops.

The, finger on capital letter ground began to shake.

Full-stop.

Capital letter, Jafar.

Jafar apostrophe s.

Good.

Beat wildly in his chest as a monstrous beast menacingly rose.

Menacingly out of the desert.

And as we did that I had my finger on each of the words.

So I checked my words were really there.

And do I have any commas? No commas.

Okay, so really good.

Now it's time to write your comments.

Here we've got the success criteria.

So make sure you do each of those things.

I'll leave it there when you pause it.

So you remember each of those things.

You've got the pictures there.

Whoop, this way.

Whooo this way.

The picture's there to help you remember what action you're writing.

You've got your notes.

You can say your sentence.

I want you to write your sentences down check your sentence and then edit.

So pause the video.

Give it a really good go.

You're definitely prepared.

And these pieces of writing are going to be super exciting and presume once you've written it.

Off you go.

Okay, now we are going to check and edit your climax.

I want you to pause and just go through each of these things.

Make sure you've done it.

If you haven't write it in.

Pause now.

And last you know, punctuation sense check.

Like we did together.

I want you to do your two finger check.

Sound out the words.

Check they're really there.

Put your finger on each one and check you've only got a comma when there's a rule.

Pause and do that now.

Fantastic.

That was the last thing you needed to do.

And now, do-do-do you have completed your lesson.

It's like a level at the end of a computer game or something.

You've worked really hard.

Please show your writing to someone because I bet they will be impressed.

And keep up the good work.

We've got just a couple more lessons on this unit to go.

Fantastic.

We have.