Lesson video

Hello, Ms. Vincent here for your next lesson on a persuasive letter based on the film How To Train Your Dragon.

So in today's lesson we're going to continue writing our persuasive letter from Hiccup as though we are Hiccup to our father Stoic the Vast to convince him to let us drop out of dragon training.

In today's paragraph we're going to write about how we're not very good at dragon training, how we didn't have a very good day, a very good first day at our dragon changing school and giving him reasons as to why we should be allowed to stop dragon training.

So let's get started.

Make sure that you've got your plan from lesson four next to you, which is where you put all your fantastic ideas down.

Okay, let's go.

So here's our agenda for today.

We're going to start with a writing warm-up.

Then we're going to move on to reviewing our plan to really think carefully about what is in this paragraph and what do we need to include.

We're going to think about our success criteria to help us understand what we're going to have to include in order to be successful and then finally it will be time to write up paragraph.

For this lesson, you will need an exercise book or a piece of paper, you'll need a pen or a pencil, and you'll also need your plan from lesson four.

So if there's anything that you need to go and get then please pause the video, go and get it and press play when you're ready to continue with the lesson.

Okay, fantastic.

So hopefully we have all the tools that we need to get started.

So let's start with our writing warm-up.

For our writing warm-up today, I thought we could think about formal conjunctions as they're really useful in this piece of writing and I wonder how many formal conjunctions you can remember that mean the same as and.

So remember our and hand and we've got five different possibilities.

There are more than five but we've got five different possibilities to remind ourselves.

How many can you remember? So I'd like you to pause the video.

Think of, if you can, all five but think of at least three.

And then if you can't think of any more then press play and we can check some answers together.

Off you go.

Okay, well done for trying.

So let's check.

You could say more over.

You could say furthermore, in addition, additionally, and also.

So let's say all of those out loud did it so that maybe they stick in our heads ready for our writing.

So my turn, your turn.

More over.

Furthermore.

In addition.

Additionally.

Also.

Now you'll notice they all have a comma after them because they come at the start of sentences.

So we have furthermore comma, moreover comma, and so on.

And as you can see by the words in addition and additionally we are building on the same idea.

So they're really useful but introducing another piece of evidence, perhaps in this case to back up your idea.

But you only use them to build on the same idea.

If we're building on by showing an opposite idea, then we use formal conjunctions that mean the same as but.

So I'd like you to do exactly the same but this time thinking of how many formal conjunctions can you remember that mean the same as but.

So pause the video, try your best to come up with at least three, and when you can't think of anymore, then press play and we can share some together.

Off you go.

Okay, let's check.

So formal conjunctions that mean the same as but.

So we can start the sentence with in spite of and that's where we show the two ideas.

So in spite of one thing, this other thing was able to happen.

So in spite of the fact he was scared, Hiccup persevered to go and meet Toothless.

So that's showing two opposite ideas.

So he's scared but he still kept going.

So it's showing opposite ideas.

Then we have however.

Your turn.

However.

Good job.

So we use that to start a sentence.

So, if I'm using the same example, Hiccup was scared.

Full stop.

However, he persevered and met his dragon friend.

Full stop.

So it's a new sentence.

Then we have although.

That starts a complex sentence.

Your turn.

Although.

Good job.

So that's where we show two ideas in the same sentence.

So I'm using the same idea again.

So although he was scared, comma, Hiccup persevered to meet his dragon friend.

Full stop.

So it's all in one sentence showing two opposite ideas happening side by side.

Nevertheless.

Nevertheless works in the same way as however.

So we use it at the beginning of our next sentence.

So, Hiccup was scared, full stop.

Nevertheless, comma, he persevered to meet his dragon friend.

And then finally we have despite this.

And despite this as the same as nevertheless and however that it comes at the beginning of the sentence that starts to show the opposite idea.

So hiccup and scared, full stop.

Despite this, comma, he persevered to meet his dragon friend.

So all of these are showing an opposite idea.

That's why they are formal conjunctions that mean the same as but.

Really well done.

If you remembered some of those formal conjunctions, good job.

Let's have a look at what we're going to try to include in today's writing.

We're going to aim to cover each of these points in our first paragraph where we explain the first reason as to why we want to drop out of dragon training.

So we're going to start our paragraph with an ordering conjunction to show it's our first point.

So we might start with, firstly, we might start with first of all, just to show that this is our first reason of two in this case, but if you were writing a persuasive letter with more reasons it would be the first of many.

You're going to give your reasons.

So firstly, I am no good at dragon training for example, but a bit more formal.

Then you're going to provide your first piece of evidence.

So you're saying you're no good.

What is your evidence? So perhaps, basing it on that day at dragon training of which we watched the clip where Hiccup did not have a good first day and the teacher, Gobber, had to save him at the last minute.

Then we're going to provide our second piece of evidence as well.

Perhaps the fact that when he was given the chance, 'cause he'd caught a Night Fury, it was all tied up.

He'd caught Toothless tied up in a string and he had the chance to kill it and he just couldn't bring himself to.

That's his second piece of evidence that he's not the type of Viking who's going to do well at dragon training.

And then finally, we're going to use some exaggeration to explain what will happen if we continue to go to dragon training.

And we planned some of that in, we thought that we could really exaggerate and say, if we continue dragon training, then I am certain to not come out of there alive.

So really exaggerating.

'Cause remember we're convincing as Hiccup, we're convincing his father Stoic the Vast and we need to be really, really persuasive to convince him.

So we are thinking about our reasons.

So I've got my points that I want to include on the right hand side of the screen and on the left hand side of the screen is my plan.

The notes that I wrote after we watched the clip of Hiccup's first day at dragon training.

I am not cut out to be a dragon Slayer.

My first day at dragon training was a disaster.

If Gobber hadn't rescued me, I would be dead, and so on.

So I'm going to use my plan so that I don't need to come up with new ideas because I have the ideas.

I just need to make sure that they are written down formally and in a clear way so that they persuasive convincing my father Stoic the Vast of what I want to do.

Let's have a look at our success criteria for today.

So our steps for success are having our plan next to us, using our skills for successful writing, as always, with our check for punctuation and reading and improving.

And then we've got our success criteria specific to today's lesson.

So we're going to include an ordering conjunction to start off our paragraph showing that it's our first point, our first reason.

We're going to use formal language.

So we're not using apostrophes for contraction.

We're taking out those words into that original form and we're going to try and use and and but conjunctions to build on ideas.

And we're going to try and use a little bit of exaggeration in this paragraph to really make a big deal about the fact that dragon training is dangerous and that we don't want to go anymore.

So let's move on to writing our paragraph.

It'll be my turn, your turn.

We're going to write the paragraph in two sections.

So let's start with the first section.

Okay, so to start, I want to use an ordering conjunction to show that it's my first point.

So I'm going to go with firstly.

So I need a capital F.

Firstly, comma.

For my ordering conjunction I need comma after it.

So I'm going to look at my plan and it says I am not cut out to be a dragon slayer.

So that's going to be the first thing that I say but I'm going to build on that a little bit and I'm going to say that I am quite simply not cut out to be a successful dragon slayer because I want to really bring home the point that it's not just about being any old dragon slayer, I can't even be successful.

So firstly, capital I for the pronoun I.

I am quite simply not cut out.

Remember cutout means to be almost made for the job.

So I'm quite simply not cut out to be a successful dragon slayer.

Full stop.

And then we want to tell our father that it was our first day at dragon training this week and that it was a disaster.

So I'm going to use two sentences for this.

I'm going to first tell him that it was dragon training and then I'm going to tell him that it was a disaster.

So I'm going to start with a time conjunction that tells my father when it was.

So this week, comma.

So that tells when it happens.

This week, I have completed my first few days of dragon training.

So at least my father knows that I've given it a go and that I've tried but I'm now writing to him with the evidence after having been that it wasn't successful.

So this week, I have completed my first few days of dragon training.

So this week I have completed my first few days of dragon training.

'Cause we know that on the Isle of Berk all teenagers go through dragon training to learn how to kill dragons.

So I want to start now with an adverb that means that it's a shame.

So unfortunately, comma, and then I'm going to exaggerate a little bit, it was a complete disaster.

So unfortunately, comma, it was a complete disaster.

So a little bit of exaggeration to really bring home the point.

And actually I'm going to look at that green point on my plan that says if Gobber hadn't rescued me, I would be dead.

And I'm going to use that 'cause that's another great piece of exaggeration.

So if Gobber had not rescued me and I'm going to add at the last minute, I would be dead.

So a conditional, if sentence showing if one thing hadn't happened, the other thing would have happened.

We need a comma to separate those two.

So capital I.

If Gobber, Gobber needs a capital letter as well because it's the name of the teacher at dragon training school.

So if Gobber had not.

So I expanded that into two words.

What would it be if I contracted had not become? Say it to your screen.

Becomes hadn't.

So if Gobber had not rescued me at the last minute.

So to make it sound really dramatic.

At the last minute, comma, or you could say second even if he wants to make it extra dramatic, I would be dead.

So really exaggerating.

So let me read that through.

Firstly, I'm quite simply not cut out to be a successful dragon slayer.

This week, I have completed my first few days of dragon training.

Unfortunately it was a complete disaster.

If Gobber had not rescued me at the last minute, I would be dead.

And actually I've noticed something that I haven't done right at the start.

When I start a new paragraph, I need a small indent.

So just to make sure that I start a little bit further on to show my reader that it's a new paragraph.

Your turn now.

You've got lots to help you on the screen.

You've got the three points that you need to cover in this section.

So starting off your sentence with an ordering conjunction, giving your first reason, and providing your first piece of evidence.

You've got your and hand and the but hand to help you.

If you want to add to the same idea, you've got lots of suggestions there.

More over, furthermore, in addition, and the same.

If you're giving an opposite idea, then you've got some formal conjunctions that mean but there as well.

For this one, make sure that you start with your very first thing you do is to start with success criteria number one, using an ordering conjunction to start your first sentence.

Okay, your turn.

Write your sentences.

Press pause first then write your sentences and then when you're ready to move on, press play.

Really good job.

Let's move on to the next few sentences to finish off this paragraph.

Now for my next few sentences, I need my second piece of evidence, which I can see up there.

When faced with the opportunity to kill a Night Fury, I just couldn't bring myself to.

And then I'm going to use a little bit more exaggeration and perhaps a little bit of flattery and presumption as well to finish off.

So I want to build on the idea that I haven't had a good time at dragon training and I'm not very good at this.

So I'm going to use a formal and conjunction and I'm going to choose in addition.

So I need, in addition, comma So that tells my reader that I'm building on the idea that I've started.

So in addition.

And let's have a look at my plans and when faced with the opportunity.

So I'm going to say, I recently, which means it happened not long ago.

I recently had the opportunity to kill a Night Fury that I was able to trap.

Full stop.

I recently had the opportunity, that means the chance, to kill a, and I'm going to use capital letters for Night Fury because it's the name of the type of dragon.

I recently had the opportunity to kill a Night Fury that I was able to trap.

Full stop.

And now I want to use a formal conjunction that says but because but I didn't manage to.

So I'm going to use the formal conjunction.

Thinking of my hand, that's got all my formal conjunctions for but, I'm going to choose however.

The capital letter, however, comma, to show that I'm about to give an opposite idea.

So I had the opportunity to do it.

Opposite idea.

I wasn't able to do it.

So, however, I was not able to harm.

So I'm going to use harm to mean hurt to change rather than kill again.

So however, I was not able to harm the creature and I do not believe I ever will be.

So I think adding on to that to say that it's not just a one off, it's never going to happen.

So however, I was not able to harm the creature.

So to change the way that I'm referring to the dragon.

So to harm the creature and I do not.

So I've used was not and do not instead of wasn't and don't.

And I do not believe I ever will be.

Tell your screen what I need at the end of my sentence.

Full stop.

Now you might have included an exclamation mark to really emphasise.

So I'm going to use a little bit of exaggeration now and I'm going to think about if I continue dragon training like I've got in my plan.

So if I continue dragon training, I am certain so little bit of presumption.

If I continue dragon training, I am certain that I will either fail or die trying.

So if I continue dragon training and I need my comma to separate my two ideas.

If one thing happens, this other thing is going to happen.

So, if I continue dragon training, I am certain, that means I am sure, I am certain that, whoops, that I will either fail or die trying.

Full stop.

And then my last sentence I'm going to use a bit of flattery to tell him that he's a very loving father and a little bit of presumption to say that I'm sure that because he loves me so much he wouldn't want this to happen.

So as my loving father, comma, to separate those two.

As my loving father, I know that you would not want this.

Full stop.

So I'm not going to sign it off from Hiccup because we've still got two more paragraphs to write.

So in addition, I recently had the opportunity to kill a Night Fury that I was able to trap.

However, I was not able to harm the creature and I do not believe that I ever will be.

If I continue dragging training, I am certain that I will either fail or die trying.

As my loving father, I know that you would not want this.

Your turn now to finish your paragraph thinking about your second piece of evidence.

Perhaps you're using the evidence as well that the Night Fury that you've had the opportunity to kill the Night Fury but you couldn't bring yourself to and use some exaggeration.

Be dramatic.

Explain what will happen if you do not leave dragon training.

You don't need to worry about success criteria number one because you did that in your previous section of writing.

Make sure that you use formal language and formal conjunctions and definitely in this part make sure that you use some exaggeration to enhance your point.

That means to make your point even clearer.

Okay, pause the video, write your sentences and press play when you're ready to move on with the lesson.

Fantastic job.

So you've written your first paragraph.

So in lesson number six we wrote the opening.

In this lesson, we've written the first paragraph.

So we've got two paragraphs left to write in lessons nine and ten to have our full persuasive letter.

We're ready to convince Stoic the Vast of our fantastic ideas.

Okay, so let's think about reading our whole piece of writing from today in one go.

So firstly, I am quite simply not cut out to be a successful dragon slayer.

Before I continue, if you want to read out loud with me, you can, but definitely follow along with your finger.

So I'll start again from the beginning to make it easier.

Firstly, I am quite simply not cut out to be a successful dragon slayer.

This week, I have completed my first few days of dragon training.

Unfortunately, it was a complete disaster.

If Gobber had not rescued me at the last minute, I would be dead.

In addition, so building on formal conjunction, I recently had the opportunity to kill a Night Fury that I was able to trap.

However, showing an opposite idea, I was not able to harm the creature and I do not believe I ever will be.

If I continue dragon training, I'm certain that I will either fail or die trying.

As my loving father, I know that you would not want this.

So a little bit of flattery and a little bit of presumption as well.

Okay.

Your turn to read your paragraph.

So pause the video, read your paragraph out loud to yourself.

You might spot something that needs changing or that you've missed out and then press play when you're ready to move on.

Fantastic.

Really well done.

So we're halfway through our letter and we've got two more paragraphs to write to really, really convince Stoic the Vast.

So we've completed all of the sections of our lesson for today.

Really fantastic job.

Well done.

So you should feel very proud of all of your hard work.

And if you'd like to, please do share your work with a parent or carer.

And I will see you soon for another lesson on writing our persuasive letter from the film How To Train Your Dragon.

Bye.