Lesson video

Hi everyone and welcome to our final lesson in this writing outcome.

Today, we are going to be writing the main body of our persuasive letter to Sherlock Holmes.

For today's learning objective, we are going to write the main body of our persuasive letter.

This is lesson number 10 of 10 and it's outcome number three.

In this lesson, you will need your exercise book or blind paper, your pen or pencil, and your very best learning brain.

Pause the video if you need a moment to go and get any of those things.

So today we're going to begin with a vocabulary check, then we are going to reread our model write, then we're going to discuss and decide on our success criteria and finally, we are going to write our main paragraph.

So for our writing warmup, we are going to focus on vocabulary.

How could we refer to the kidnapper? So, I have got thief and dangerous abductor.

Now I would like you to pause the video while you mindmap any other adjectives or nouns we could use when referring to the kidnapper.

Off you go.

Okay, everyone.

Here are some more examples of mine.

Feel free to magpie them and add them to the mindmap that you've already got, which I'm sure is full of incredible vocabulary.

So we've got thief.

No, my turn, heartless criminal.

Your turn.

Excellent.

Dangerous abductor, your turn.

Great.

The unknown perpetrator, your turn.

Well done.

The mysterious horse-snapper, your turn.

Excellent.

So some of these words might come in really useful in our main body paragraph when we talk about the kidnapper.

So let's discuss our success criteria for today.

We are writing the main body of our persuasive letter.

So here's our success criteria.

Just like in our opening paragraph, the first sentence of this paragraph has got to be clearly, clearly stating the purpose of the paragraph.

So you need to summarise what your main argument is in this paragraph.

Then, I also want to see lots of formal vocabulary.

And finally, we need to include at least one example of a rhetorical question or a veiled threat or presumption.

You might find that you even use a few of these persuasive devices.

Make sure that you've got any formal mindmaps you've already made far for this writing outcome.

And really importantly, your plan from our last writing lesson with you.

Pause the video now to write down your success criteria.

So number one, state the purpose of the paragraph.

Number two is using formal vocabulary.

And number three is to include at least one example of rhetorical questioning, field threat or presumption.

And you can press play when you're ready.

So we're going to begin by re-reading our model write.

I'm going to read it first and you can follow along with me.

If you would like to, you can also pause the video and re-read it yourself.

"May I begin by stating that Blue Knight is our family's primary source of income and is currently valued at 500,000 Guineas.

At the Irish Derby last year, the race horse's success earned our family an additional 20,000 Guineas in that race alone.

This contributed to approximately 25% of our annual income.

It is crucial that Blue Knight be found immediately and returned to the family.

If not, we may fall into poverty.

Surely you would not want that on your conscience? I am sure you are aware that if you refuse to support us in our hour of need, you may risk damaging your immaculate reputation." So you can pause this video if you would like to stop and re-read this paragraph on your own.

So, now I'm going to use my success criteria and I've got a little task for you.

I would like you to see whether you can find any examples of where I have met my success criteria in this model write.

Pause the video while you do that.

Okay, everyone.

Hopefully we've all paused the video, we've looked carefully at what our success criteria for today's writing task is and we've checked to see whether I have met my success criteria in this paragraph.

So let's look through it together.

So stating the purpose of the paragraph, I would expect that to be in the very first sentence.

"May I begin by stating that Blue Knight is our family's primary source of income." That's the point of the whole paragraph.

So I've done that in the very first sentence, so I've met my first success criteria.

Number two, some formal vocabulary.

Now I used quite a few different examples of formal vocabulary, but here is my example of where I decided to mark off my success criteria to "our family's primary source of income." It's a more formal way of saying, "It's our main source of income." And now an example of where I have used a rhetorical question or veiled threat or presumption.

Here, I've used my rhetorical question for number three.

Now you might have found a different example, which is fantastic.

I have just decided to evidence number three with my rhetorical question.

"Surely you would not want that on your conscience?" So now everyone, this brings us to our writing activity.

Make sure you have got your word banks with you.

So here is a presumption word bank.

Let's do some my turn, your turn.

I have no doubt that, your turn.

Excellent.

I look forward to, your turn.

Fantastic.

I am sure you will agree that, your turn.

Well done everyone.

So these are all some really great sentence stems, if we are planning to write a presumption sentence.

And now let's look at our veiled threats word bank.

I would hate to think that, your turn.

Well done.

I would not want to have to, your turn.

Excellent.

Well done.

Now, if you haven't already take a moment to pause the video and jot down those two word banks on your page so that you can refer to them during your writing.

Okay, now let's have a quick check.

Make sure that you have got your planning document to hand.

Remember, this is the basic structure of our paragraph.

We're going to begin by making our point, stating what the main argument is in the paragraph and that's got to be the first sentence.

Then, we're going to back up our point with some evidence.

Now this is where we might use some statistics, perhaps talking about how much money we have earned through racing Blue Knight.

And finally, we're going to use those persuasive devices that we've been looking at a lot throughout this whole writing outcome.

So we're going to finish the paragraph by perhaps flattering Sherlock, maybe asking him some rhetorical questions and trying to maybe make him feel a bit guilty if he doesn't help us, using some presumption where we act as if he's already agreed to help us, or maybe some veiled threat where we give him a subtle little threat by suggesting that there may be consequences if he decides not to help us, perhaps damaging his reputation for example.

Take a moment now, if you've had any late inspiration and would like to add anything to your plan, to jot those ideas down now before you begin to write.

So here is our model plan.

This is the plan that I had suggested for you back in our planning lesson in our last writing lesson.

So you can have a quick look at this as well.

If there are any key words or phrases or sentences that you would like to make pie, then add them to your plan now.

So for example, the racehorse is the Stoughton family's main or primary source of income.

Has provided the family with financial security.

Those were some sentence stems that I thought might be relevant for your point sentence, where you clearly state the purpose of this paragraph.

Now, here are some sentence structures that you might like to adapt for your own writing in your evidence.

So using any facts to back up your point, this one-of-a-kind colt is currently valued at hm Guineas.

You can make it up.

And last year, the horse's racing success accounted for what percent of the family's income.

Again, you can make up these statistics.

And then to finish the paragraph, here are some of the persuasive devices that might be useful.

So here are some sentence stems and structures that you might like to adapt and magpie from.

If our award winning race horse is not returned to us, we could fall into poverty or financial crisis or our children's future is maybe put at risk.

Surely you would not.

So that might be a great start for a rhetorical question.

Or I am certain that, or I have no doubt that.

That's a nice sentence stem when we are presuming that Sherlock agrees with us.

Pause the video now if you would like to magpie or add to your plan.

Okay, everyone.

So we have thought about the formal vocabulary that we need to use.

We have thought about what the purpose of this paragraph is.

We've carefully planned our point, our evidence, and we've incorporated some persuasive devices.

You have got your word banks, which have throughout this writing outcome, we've worked on some flattery word banks, we've also used some persuasive devices such as rhetorical questions and veiled threat word banks.

We've read our model and now it's your time to write.

If you're ever not quite sure you can always rewind this video back to where we read our model at the start of this lesson if you would like some more inspiration For now, I would like you to pause the video and write your paragraph.

Okay, everyone.

I hope you are feeling really, really delighted with your efforts.

Now that you have written your paragraph, I would like you to go back through, re-read everything, make sure it makes sense and then go through it and see whether you can number each success criteria to really show evidence of where you have met your success criteria in your paragraph.

And when you're done, then you know that you have done a really thorough job of re-reading and self assessing your writing.

Okay, everybody.

So I've just popped off the screen for a moment because now that you have written main body paragraph, we're going to finish off this unit by just reading an example of a closing paragraph that we could have used for our persuasive letter.

So, we're going to read it through together and then you can pause the video if you would like to re-read it yourself.

"To conclude, I wish to express my thanks to you for taking the time to read my letter.

It is highly reassuring to know that a detective of your high standard, who is so willing to help members of the public such as ourselves, is available.

The theft of Blue Knight has been an extremely traumatic ordeal, however, I very much look forward to reading your response in the coming days.

We are certain that you will take on this mysterious case and bring this heartless abductor to justice.

Yours faithfully, Lady Stoughton." Now if you would like to, you could challenge yourself by writing your own closing paragraph for your persuasive letter using some of those features such as flattery and presumption, which we have looked at so far in preparation for this writing outcome, and also remembering to keep on using that really formal vocabulary.

And that brings us to the end of our lesson and actually the end of our Sherlock Holmes unit.

What a fun and interesting and incredible unit this has been.

I've been so impressed with how we have developed our understanding of Victorian London.

We've really got to know the historical context of this unit.

We've got to know our character, Sherlock Holmes and John Watson.

And now, we've pushed ourselves to write a formal persuasive letter.

What an amazing experience of learning this has been for us all.

I'm really looking forward to seeing us on our next writing unit.

Well done for all of your hard work.