# Lesson video

In progress...

Hello, everyone.

Miss Vincent here for your English lesson today.

We're going to be continuing our learning on persuasive letters, and we're going to be writing the next paragraph in our letter.

So remember, we are writing a letter as though we are Hiccup from the How To Train Your Dragon film, and we're writing to our father, who is Stoick the Vast.

In today's paragraph, we're going to be telling our father that we think we should open a different kind of dragon training school, a dragon training school where dragons can be tamed by Vikings so that Vikings and dragons can live really successful side-by-side.

For this lesson, you will need your plan from lesson number four, and let's get started.

Off we go.

Let's have a look through our agenda for today's lesson.

So we're going to start with a writing warm up, and we're going to think about relative clauses today.

Then we're going to briefly review our plan before moving on to identifying our success criteria.

So what's going to make us really successful in our writing? And then finally, moving on to writing our paragraph.

In this lesson, you will need an exercise book or a piece of paper.

You'll need a pencil or a pen, and you'll also need your plan from lesson number four.

If there's anything that you need to go and get, please pause the video, go and get it, and then press play when you're ready to move on.

Great.

So hopefully we're all set.

Everybody's got everything that they need to move on with their learning.

In today's writing warm up, I want you to add in a relative clause to these sentences, which I'm going to show you.

So lesson number three in this outcome is a grammar lesson all about relative clauses.

So if you haven't done that lesson yet, I really suggest that you do because you will feel a lot more confident using relative clauses after it.

So we're going to add in some relative clauses.

So I've got two sentences here.

The first one is Stoick the Vast, hmm, has an important job.

So remember, in a relative clause, we have one main clause sentence that makes sense on its own.

Stoick the Vast has an important job, but we've got an extra clause, a relative clause, that adds in extra information in the middle or at the end of our sentence, in these two cases, in the middle.

So Stoick the Vast, mm, mm, mm, mm, has an important job.

So we need to find out a little bit more about him.

The second one would have been, without the relative clause, Dragons could prove to be an asset to Vikings.

So we can add some extra information about dragons in that space where the relative clause goes.

Remember who is for people and which is for cases and things.

So for Stoick the Vast, we would use who because he's Hiccup's father.

So Stoick the Vast, who mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm.

You need to tell me something more about him, has an important job.

Whereas for dragons, we would use which.

So dragons, which mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, could prove to be an asset to Vikings.

So you need to add to those two sentences using a relative clause.

So pause the video, write in your relative clauses, and then press play when you're ready to move on.

Okay, fantastic.

Well, let's check.

Your ideas might be different from my ideas.

There are lots of different relative clauses that we could put in those spaces because we're adding extra information.

So I thought for Stoick the Vast, we could say, Stoick the Vast, who is Hiccup's father, has an important job.

So noticing the two commas either side of the relative clause holding it in place.

For dragons, I thought we could say, dragons, which are intelligent creatures, could prove to be an asset to Vikings.

So again, we're adding in extra information with our relative clause with our two commas either side of it.

Really well done if you remembered your who or which pronouns.

Really well done if you remembered your commas, and really well done for giving it a go.

If you didn't get it quite right, don't worry.

It takes lots and lots of practise to get relative clauses right, and once you've got it, it's really, really straightforward.

So lots and lots of practise.

Right, let's move on.

So let's have a think about our plan and what it's really important that we include in today's writing, in today's paragraph.

So our second paragraph is our second reason for wanting to stop dragon training.

In the previous lesson, in lesson number eight, we wrote our first paragraph where we talked about wanting to leave dragon training because we thought we weren't very good at it, and we gave evidence for that fact.

In this paragraph, we're going to instead give our second reason for wanting to leave dragon training, which is to set up a new type of dragon training school.

So let's have a look at what we should aim to cover in this paragraph.

So we should aim to include an ordering conjunction to show that it's our second point.

So including an ordering conjunction to show that it's the second point that we're raising.

We need to give our reason, a reason which is that we want to set up a different training school.

We need to give our first piece of evidence for how this might work, and we've got lots of evidence, haven't we, because Hiccup has trained a dragon to fly on his back.

So he's got lots of evidence about how to do that or how successful he was.

Then we can give a second piece of evidence, going back to all that evidence that we have.

And finally, we can summarise the paragraph, giving a little bit of a compliment to our reader, so a little bit of flattery, perhaps a little bit of exaggeration or presumption as well.

All those tools to work to convince our reader.

And in addition to these things that we cover, which have moved slightly to the side of the screen, we've got our plan to help us.

So in our plan, we included our reasons, and we included our evidence for our reason as well.

So we're going to need that today so that we don't have to come up with new ideas, but we're just thinking about the ideas that we have and about making them really persuasive and really convincing.

So let's have a look at our success criteria for today.

What are the things that are going to help us to be successful? So as always, first and foremost, we need to have our plan right next to us so that we're not working really hard to remember our ideas, but we've got them right there with us.

We're going to use our skills for successful writing that always help us, no matter the text type, which are checking for our capital letters and punctuation, which are say, write, read.

So we think and say our sentence, we write it down, and then we read it back to make sure that we've written what we actually wanted to write.

And then going back and editing and improving, really, really important.

In terms of our success criteria specific to today's lesson, we are going to try and include an ordering conjunction to start off our first sentence.

So I think I'm going to probably start with secondly because in my first paragraph, I used firstly.

Then we're going to try really hard, again, to use our formal language to sound really serious, to sound professional, and to sound like we're taking it very seriously, including formal and and but conjunctions, remembering our hands that help us remember our and hand where we've got in addition, moreover, furthermore, and lots of others, and our but hand where we've got however, nevertheless, despite this, and so on.

So lots of formal conjunctions, which I'll leave up on the screen for you when it's your turn to write so that you can remember them.

And then finally, we're going to use some exaggeration or flattery to enhance our point.

That means to get our point across even more.

Okay, let's have a go at writing our paragraph.

It's going to be my turn, your turn, and we're going to split it up into two sections.

So I'll write a little bit, then you will, then me, then you, and then we can look at our whole paragraph in one go.

So let's get started with our writing, my favourite part.

Off we go.

So for my first few lines, I'm going to look on the left-hand side there for all my tools to help me.

I know that I need to start with an ordering conjunction to show that it is my second point.

So I'm going to start with the ordering conjunction secondly comma, and I've got my capital letter because it's at the start of a sentence.

So now, I need to give my reason.

So I've done what's in the green box.

I'm moving on to the pink box that says, "Give your reason." So I need to give my reason, and my reason is that I want to set up a new dragon training school.

So I'm going to tell my father that I am determined.

Determined is a word that means that you absolutely will do everything that it takes to get what you want done, and you might have come across this word in school.

Lots of children are very determined to get their schoolwork done.

So secondly, I am determined, and I'm going to look at my plan, to set up a new type of training school.

So secondly, I, capital I for the pronoun I, I am determined to set up a new type of training school.

And I'm actually going to give a little bit more detail in the same sentence.

I'm going to say a new type of training school where Vikings can learn to tame and train dragons.

Perhaps we can use our instructions from a previous outcome that we did together, if you did that one, to help these Vikings.

So to set up a new type of training school where Vikings can learn to tame and train dragons.

Where, Vikings needs a capital V because it is the name of a group of people from history.

Where Vikings can learn to tame and train dragons, full stop.

Okay, let me see what my next thing to do is.

So in the blue box, it says give your first piece of evidence.

My first piece of evidence is that I've actually successfully, so me as Hiccup, I've successfully managed to get a dragon to fly with me on its back, haven't I? So I'm going to say when it happened first.

I'm going to start with a time conjunction, and it's probably taken Hiccup a while.

So I'm going to say over the past few weeks because it didn't happen overnight.

It took a little while.

So over the past weeks, I'm going to look at my plan to help me, and I can see that I used the words in my plan, "I have successfully trained a dragon to fly with me on its back." So I'm going to use that.

So over the past few weeks, I have successfully trained, and instead of saying a dragon, I'm going to be more specific and say a rare Night Fury to allow me to fly on its back.

So over the past few weeks, I have successfully trained a rare, I think that sounds more impressive, Night Fury, and I'll use a capital letter for Night and Fury because it's its name, to allow me to fly on its back.

And its, remember we talked in a previous lesson about how if it's it that belongs to it, we don't use an apostrophe.

If I put an apostrophe in here, then that stands for it is, which is not the case because it's not on it is back, but it's on the back that belongs to it.

So it has to look like that.

So I need my full stop.

So let me reread that sentence.

Over the past few weeks, comma, I have successfully trained a rare Night Fury to allow me to fly on its back.

Hmm, I think I need to give a little bit more evidence before I move on to my next point.

I'm going to use something that we call a causal conjunction, so showing what affect this has had, which is as a result.

So as a result of the fact that I've trained it.

So as a result comma, as a result.

Oh, I need a space after my full stop.

As a result, comma, I am able to travel vast distances.

Vast means big.

I am able to travel vast distances in a short period of time, and I think this is something that my father will be keen on hearing because it would really change things for Vikings if they could fly.

They've already got long ships, but if they could fly on dragons, that would be even better.

So as a result, I am able to travel vast distances in a short period of time.

And a short period of time just means a short amount of time.

So let me reread my sentences before I move on.

Secondly, I am determined to set up a new type of training school where Vikings can learn to tame and train dragons.

Over the past few weeks, comma, I have successfully trained a rare Night Fury to allow me to fly on its back.

As a result, comma, I am able to travel vast distances in a short period of time.

Okay, your turn now to write your first few sentences, starting off with an ordering conjunction to show that it's your second paragraph where you're showing your second reason.

Give your reason, and give your first piece of evidence just like I did.

You've got your and and but hand to help you with the formal conjunctions, and you've got your success criteria to remind you that we're going to try and use formal language and perhaps a little bit of exaggeration as well.

Off you go.

So pause the video, write your sentences, and press play when you're ready to continue with the lesson.

Really well done.

Let's move on to our next sentences to finish off this paragraph.

So now, I want to give my second piece of evidence, and my second piece of evidence, I think I will go for what I can see in green in my plan is that I've learnt a lot about dragons and how to look after them.

So I'm building on the point before.

So I'm going to use a formal conjunction.

The means the same as and.

So I know that's in my success criteria, and I'm going to choose from the and hand.

I'm going to choose furthermore, and I need my comma after furthermore.

So furthermore, I have learnt a lot about dragons and how to look after them.

That's what it says in my plan.

So instead of a lot, I'm going to be more specific, and I'm going to say a huge amount because that sounds a little bit more formal.

So furthermore, I have learnt a huge amount about, and instead of saying dragons, I'm going to refer to them as these impressive creatures, and how to look after them.

So I'm just thinking about how to sound more precise and formal at all times.

So furthermore, let me rethink my sentence.

Furthermore, I have learnt a huge amount about these impressive creature and how to look after them.

Okay so, capital letter I for my pronoun.

I have learnt a huge amount about these impressive, so they impress me if they're impressive, these impressive creatures, and remember it's good to refer to them in different ways so that I'm not repeating dragon, dragon, dragon all the time.

So I've learnt a huge amount about these impressive creatures and how to look after them.

And you might want to write some evidence about the fact that some of you might have written instructions about how to look after dragons.

So you are real experts.

Okay so, I want to tell my father that he thinks that dragons are just, just aggressive and not good.

But I want to tell him that they're very intelligent.

I don't want to repeat dragon, and I don't want to repeat creature.

So I'm going to go with beasts.

So these beasts are very intelligent.

These beasts are very intelligent, full stop.

And actually I think that I could use a relative clause to add extra information here because they are intelligent.

And actually the Vikings have not realised that for a very, very long time.

So perhaps we can add in a relative clause talking about how they have been underestimated for a long time.

So let me think.

These beasts, comma, which have been underestimated for years, comma, are very intelligent.

And you can see how a relative clause just slots into my main clause.

I don't have to change the original sentence.

It just slots in between the idea in the main clause.

So these beasts, comma, which have been been underestimated for years, comma, are very intelligent.

Okay, now let's think about the purple box that tells me I need to use a bit of flattery, a bit of exaggeration or presumption.

So something to convince our reader a little bit more.

So I think I'm going to use my last point in my plan that if we befriend dragons, so if we make friends with dragons, the war can stop, and no one will be hurt again.

So let me start with if we befriend dragons, the war between us can stop.

So that's exactly what I've written in my plan, and I'm going to use it.

If we befriend, which means make friends with, dragons, comma, so if we do this, this can happen.

That's how we separate with our comma.

If we befriend dragons, the war between us can stop, full stop.

And I think that we can use that last point on my plan, no one will be hurt again.

We can add that to a little bit of flattery.

So we can say I presume, so a bit of presumption.

I presume, that means I think that.

I presume a leader as caring as you, so I'm telling him that he's very caring.

So a bit of flattery.

A leader as caring as you will be happy that no one will ever be hurt by dragons again.

So we're turning that last sentence into something that could help us convince our leader.

So I presume a leader as caring as you will be happy that no one will be hurt by dragons again! And I think we can put an exclamation there to show our strong emotion, that it's a strong emotion.

So let me read through our sentences one more time.

So furthermore, I have learnt a huge amount about these impressive creatures and how to look after them.

These beasts, which have been underestimated for years, are very intelligent.

If we befriend dragons, the war between us can stop.

I presume a leader as caring as you will be happy that no one will be hurt by dragons again! Okay, your turn to write your final few sentences to finish off this paragraph, giving your second piece of evidence and perhaps using a little bit of flattery or a little bit of exaggeration or presumption to encourage your reader, who is Hiccup's dad, a little bit more to be convinced by your ideas.

You've got everything that you might need to refer back to on the screen.

Make sure that you have your plan right next to you.

Pause the video, write your sentences, and press play when you're ready to move on.

Great! We're done.

We've written our second paragraph.

Really well done.

Fantastic.

So now that we've written our whole paragraph, let's have a go at reading it all through in one go from start to finish.

So my turn, and then your turn to read yours out loud.

Three, two, one, let's start.

Secondly, I am determined to set up a new type of training school where Vikings can learn to tame and train dragons.

Over the past few weeks, I have successfully trained a rare Night Fury to allow me to fly on its back.

As a result, I am able to travel vast distances in a short period of time.

Furthermore, so that's an in addition one, an in addition formal conjunction, I have learnt a huge amount about these impressive creatures and how to look after them.

These beasts, which we have underestimated for years, relative clause adding in extra information, are very intelligent.

If we befriend dragons, the war between us can stop.

My if conditional sentence.

I presume a leader as caring as you will be happy that no one will ever be hurt by dragons again! Okay, your turn to read your writing out loud now.

So pause the video, read your writing out loud, and press play when you're ready to move on.

Well done.

Fantastic.

So we've finished all the sections of our lesson for today.

So fantastic work.

Well done for working so hard.

If you would like to, please share your work with a parent or carer.

I will see you next time for our final paragraph of our persuasive letter.

See you soon.

Bye.