Lesson video

Hello, my name is Miss Grant.

I'm so glad you've decided to learn with me today.

We're in the unit of myths, legends and stories that inspire.

Today, we are going to be doing some of our own creative writing and we are going to use Natasha Bowen's "Skin of the Sea" to inspire us.

So the first thing we need to do is get a copy of "Skin of the Sea" by Natasha Bowen.

It was published by Penguin Random House in 2021.

So pause the video and go and get your copy of "Skin of the Sea" by Natasha Bowen and I'll see you back here shortly.

Pause the video and get your copy of "Skin of the Sea" now.

Welcome back, now you have got your copy of "Skin of the Sea", we're gonna return to that in our lesson.

We're going to reread the opening.

We're gonna think, "What is Natasha Bowen doing here?

What can we steal and put into our own writing?

" Can't wait to hear all of your fantastic ideas.

I'm gonna be your support and guide as we work through today's lesson together.

Let's get started.

So by the end of today's lesson, you're going to be able to vary your sentence types and lengths to control the rhythm of your writing.

And we're going to really explore what it means to create fantastic rhythm in your writing, why it's so important and what it can allow us to do in order to control our reader's reaction to what we are actually saying and the scene that we are conveying.

There are some keywords which are gonna help us unlock our learning today.

They're gonna help us achieve our objective.

If you'd like to spend some more time with these keywords, make some notes or read through their definitions, then pause the video now.

I'm just gonna draw your attention to one of these words.

And the word is oscillate.

It's the second word on the board and that is how you pronounce it, oscillate.

And it means to move repeatedly from side to side.

The other words are gonna come up in our lesson and we will go through them as and when.

But as I say, if you would like to pause the video and spend a little bit more time with them now, please do.

Our lesson outline for today.

First of all, we're going to focus on complex sentences.

And in the second learning cycle, we are going to think, well, how do we vary our sentences to create rhythm?

And of course, we will create some complex sentences in that second learning cycle as well.

Let's start off with complex sentences.

So Aisha and Jun both wrote sentences inspired by this image.

You can see the image there of the ship on the board.

And Aisha wrote, "Despite wave's crashing and exploding against its wooden frame, the ship drove defiantly through the water.

" Now, defiantly is one of our keywords today, and it means boldly disobedient.

So she has personified the ship there, she has made it bold and disobedient and she's saying the ship is driving defiantly through the water.

Now, Jun has a similar idea, but his sentence is a little bit shorter.

He says, "The ship drove defiantly through the water.

" Now I'd like you to discuss, what are the differences between their sentences?

Pause the video and discuss this question now.

Welcome back, a really nice discussion there, really looking at sentence level.

What are the differences between these two sentences?

So Aisha's sentence is longer than Jun's sentence.

She has got this phrase at the beginning, despite waves crushing and exploding against its wooden frame.

Now, that bit you can see, it doesn't make sense by itself that bit before the comma, but she has qualified it with the ship drove defiantly through the water.

So her sentence is a little bit longer.

She's got a little bit more detail there.

Now, we can actually be much more specific about what the differences between their sentences are, because Aisha's sentence is a complex sentence and that is a technical term.

Let's have a look at that technical term in a little bit more detail.

So Aisha's sentence, as I said, is a complex sentence.

Despite waves crashing and exploding against its wooden frame, the ship drove defiantly through the water.

Now, a complex sentence is made up of a main clause which makes sense by itself, and a subordinate clause, which is a clause that does not make sense by itself.

Let's apply that to Aisha's sentence.

So this opening section of her sentence is a subordinate clause, despite waves crashing and exploding against its wooden frame, that bit of the sentence does not make sense by itself.

If you put a full stop at the end, you'd be thinking, well, despite what, despite waves crashing and exploding against its wooden frame, what happens next?

So that bit is a subordinate clause.

It does not make sense by itself.

But here we've got our main clause.

Now, our main clause makes sense by itself, makes sense by itself, the ship drove defiantly through the water.

Aisha could have just written that as a sentence, like Jun did and it definitely would make sense by itself, but she has added a subordinate clause, that bit at the beginning, despite waves crashing and exploding against its wooden frame and that has turned it into a complex sentence.

Now, you can see there is a comma in Aisha's sentence.

Despite waves crashing and exploding against its wooden frame, comma, the ship drove defiantly through the water.

And usually when the subordinate clause comes first in the sentence, it's divided from the main clause by a comma.

So you can see that Aisha has got that comma in there after her subordinate clause.

Now, Aisha practices writing a complex sentence with the subordinate clause at the beginning.

And again, this sentence is inspired by that image of the ship that we saw at the beginning.

So she writes, "If the wind didn't die down soon, the ship would be destroyed.

" Now, we've got our subordinate clause.

If the wind didn't die down soon, we couldn't have a full stop at the end there after the word soon.

We'd be thinking, "If the wind didn't die down soon, what happens?

" So that subordinate clause, it does not make sense by itself.

You can see we've got the comma after the word soon, because it is dividing the subordinate clause from the main clause.

And then we have our main clause, the ship would be destroyed, that sentence makes sense by itself.

Aisha could have just written the ship would be destroyed, but she decided to turn her sentence into a complex sentence by adding that subordinate clause.

If the wind didn't die down soon, the ship would be destroyed.

Now, Aisha rewrites it with a subordinate clause at the end.

You don't always have to have your subordinate clause at the beginning of a sentence.

And Aisha writes, "The ship will be destroyed if the wind didn't die down soon.

" Same sentence, but we've got the subordinate clause at the end this time.

So let's divide it up again.

We've got the ship would be destroyed, that's the main clause.

We could have a full stop after the word destroyed.

That sentence does make sense by itself.

We do not need a comma, because the subordinate clause is at the end of the sentence.

So you don't need a comma this time.

And then we've got that subordinate clause at the end, if the wind didn't die down soon.

So we know that bit of the sentence does not make sense by itself.

So we've got two complex sentences there, one with a subordinate clause at the beginning and one with it at the end.

Now, the following are just some examples of words and phrases which will help you make a complex sentence.

Even though, if, despite, although, when, as, after, before, during.

So if you use these words in a sentence, they kind of push you into making a subordinate clause and therefore that pushes you into making a complex sentence.

These words and phrases are called subordinating conjunctions.

So you can see that subordinating conjunctions help you make a subordinate clause, which helps you make a complex sentence.

So let's have a bit of a practice.

I'd like you to discuss, what complex sentences can you create inspired by this image?

So just like Aisha and Jun were inspired by this image, so too will you be inspired by this image.

Have a play around with some of these subordinating conjunctions and see what complex sentences you can create.

Pause the video and discuss, what complex sentences can you create inspired by this image?

Pause the video now.

Welcome back, lovely to hear some fantastic complex sentences, really grammatically correct, using those subordinating conjunctions to push you into creating those complex sentences, but also showing off your imagination.

So we have this image here, but actually, you came up with such creative sentences inspired by this image.

So I'm looking forward to doing a bit more creative writing when we move into learning cycle two later in this lesson.

Now, we're gonna do two checks for understanding just so that we show off our knowledge of complex sentences and the grammar that is involved.

So first of all, first check which of these sentences is a complex sentence?

Is it A, B, C or D?

I'd like you to read through each one and then select your response.

Pause the video and complete this check now.

Welcome back, well done if you selected B.

After the storm, there would be many repairs to make.

So after the storm is a subordinate clause, it doesn't make sense by itself.

We couldn't put a full stop after storm.

And then we've got that main clause, there would be many repairs to make.

And you can see that there is a comma there after the subordinate clause.

A is not a complex sentence, the ship oscillated wildly from side to side.

We do not have subordinate clause in there.

We just have a main clause, so it cannot be a complex sentence.

That is also true of C and then indeed, sharks followed the ship, they were completely focused.

That is not a complex sentence, it has a semicolon and it is joining two simple sentences together.

So it's not a complex sentence.

We've got two simple sentences joined together by a semicolon.

So B is the correct response.

Okay, our second check.

Which of these complex sentences are punctuated correctly?

We've got A, B, C, and D, all the same, will require some really careful reading, really careful understanding of commas and where you put the comma after the subordinate clause or before the subordinate clause.

So give yourself a bit of time to think here, to remember all of the explanation we went through earlier in this learning cycle, and then select your responses.

Which of these complex sentences are punctuated correctly?

Pause the video and complete the check now.

Welcome back, well done for reading through those sentences so carefully and well done for selecting C and D.

These complex sentences are punctuated correctly.

If we look at the first one, C, the deep blues and greens of the sea were filled with dark shapes of expectant predators biding their time.

We have got the subordinate clause at the end of the sentence, biding their time, so it does not need a comma, because a subordinate clause is at the end of the sentence, whereas D, biding their time, this is a subordinate clause, biding their time, what were they actually doing?

So we do need a comma after biding their time.

If you look at A and B, remember that all punctuation is a pause.

So a comma forces you to pause.

And if you read those sentences aloud in your head, you'll see that the pause comes at a slightly odd place where the reader would not want to pause.

So one way to really check your punctuation and something that I often do is read my work aloud and I think, do I need a pause?

If I do, then I need some sort of punctuation and if I don't, then I need to make sure that there isn't any punctuation there.

Okay, we're gonna move on to our first practice task.

I would like you to turn each sentence below into a complex sentence.

You can see that we've got one, two, three and four.

The subordinate clause of the sentence can be at the beginning or the end of the sentence.

I don't mind, it is your choice, and an example has been done for you.

So one of our sentences is, the ship oscillated wildly and that has been turned into a complex sentence, which is, as the wind buffeted its sails, comma, the ship oscillated wildly.

So we've got the subordinate clause at the beginning of the sentence.

So I would like you to turn each of the sentences in the table from a sentence into a complex sentence.

And you're gonna use the subordinating conjunctions on the board to help you.

Pause the video and give this task the time that it deserves so you really get a handle on what it means to write using a complex sentence.

Pause the video and complete this task now.

Welcome back, well done for giving that task the time that it deserves.

Beautiful to see some fantastic complex sentences in front of me, particularly with them punctuated really, really accurately.

Let's do some feedback and just refine our ideas of subordinate clauses and main clauses.

So here is one of Jun's sentences.

He wrote, "Despite the vessel's speed," so vessel, another word for a boat, "Sharks tracked the ship steadily.

" So a really, really nice evocative sentence there.

He identifies the different parts of his complex sentence.

So we've got the subordinate clause at the beginning, despite the vessel's speed, then we've got the comma after the subordinate clause and then we've got the main clauses, sharks tracked the ship steadily.

So I would like you for each of your complex sentences to identify the main clause, the subordinate clause and the comma if required.

Remember, you will not need the comma if your subordinate clause is at the end of the sentence.

So pause the video, read through your sentences, preferably aloud so you can really hear where you need that pause and like Jun, identify your main clause, your subordinate clause and the comma if required.

Pause the video and complete the self-assessment now.

Welcome back, really nice to see your deep understanding of what it means to create a complex sentence.

And you have been able to identify the subordinate clauses in your sentence, the main clause and if you needed a comma or not.

We are now ready to move on to our second learning cycle where we are going to apply some of our writing, some of our knowledge about complex sentences to a slightly longer bit of writing.

So we are going to think about varying our sentences to create rhythm in learning cycle two.

We're gonna start off by thinking, what does it actually mean to create rhythm?

What does rhythm mean to you?

So I'd like you to discuss, what does the word rhythm mean to you?

Pause the video and discuss the question now.

Welcome back, a really lively discussion about this word rhythm.

And lots of people saying, well, what rhythm means to me, it's something that you feel rather than something that I can really articulate.

So lots of movement trying to express what this idea of rhythm meant, but you might also have used some of these words, for example, flow, beat, pattern, movement or energy.

Now, these words are all really, really good words to use, because just as in a piece of music, writers aim to create rhythm in their work and these are words that we might apply to music, flow, beat, pattern, movement, energy.

In fact, crafting rhythm is just as important as word choice.

So we often spend a lot of time thinking, what words should I use and in what order?

But actually, crafting rhythm is just as important as word choice.

A text's rhythm creates energy, pace and tension.

It engages the reader and draws our attention to certain things.

So you can see why it is so important to consider rhythm in your writing.

Now, in "Skin of the Sea", Natasha Bowen creates rhythm by varying her sentence lengths and types.

She does this so expertly throughout the novel, but particularly in the opening in chapter one.

For example, sometimes she contrast short, snappy sentences to longer, complex sentences.

Now, we know what complex sentences are, because we focused on them in learning cycle one.

Now, I'd like you to discuss these three questions.

Why might a writer choose a short, snappy sentence?

Why might a writer choose a complex sentence?

Why might it be a good idea to have a range of sentence lengths and types?

Pause the video and discuss these three questions now.

Welcome back, a really lovely discussion there.

Lots of people using that word rhythm in order to understand why it might be a good idea to have a range of sentence types and lengths.

So of course it will create rhythm in the writing, we'll take the reader along on a journey so that the writing doesn't feel monotonous with all of these sentences being exactly the same length.

Now, a complex sentence might be good for creating tension.

It might make us wait for something to happen.

We've got to get all the way to the end of the sentence to work out what is going to happen.

Might be very good for description, adding a little bit of description.

You can see in Aisha's sentences earlier in the learning cycle when we learned a bit more about the ship through her subordinate clause.

And a short, snappy sentence might bring us up short.

It might focus our attention on a particular action that is occurring or a particular event.

So it's really good to have a range of sentence lengths and types in your writing.

Now, in the opening of her novel, Bowen uses each type of sentence for specific purposes.

So let's have a look at some of these short sentences.

She pauses the action with her short sentences.

She draws attention to particularly important ideas.

She reinforces the power of Simidele who uses command words like go and wait.

And she contrasts the longer sentences with these short, snappy sentences so that her writing has rhythm.

But the complex sentences, why are they used?

Well, it increases the pace to mimic Simidele's movements to create vivid and layered description.

It contrasts to the shorter sentences so that her writing has rhythm.

So two reasons here.

We've got two different types of sentences, those short ones and then those longer complex ones and both are used by Bowen in the opening of her novel for these specific purposes.

Now, what I would like you to do is reread the opening six lines of "Skin of the Sea".

This is chapter one, page one.

It starts with the word I and it ends with the word waiting.

You're just reading the opening six lines.

And I'd like you to discuss how Bowen has created rhythm through her sentences.

Pause the video and complete these two tasks now.

Welcome back, a really, really nice rereading of the opening of "Skin of the Sea" and a great discussion about how Bowen is using the sentences to her advantage to create rhythm in those opening six lines.

Lots of people focused on the final sentence of these six lines, which is the fragment, it's just this verb waiting and you can see that this draws attention to what Simidele's doing.

It makes us wait, just like Simidele is waiting for the ship.

So really, you can see there Bowen really controlling her reader's reaction to her writing.

Now, a check for understanding before we apply everything we know about creating fantastic rhythm in our writing to our own piece of work.

Two pupils here were inspired by Natasha Bowen's "Skin of the Sea" and the image that we looked at earlier in today's lesson.

They both crafted paragraphs and tried to create rhythm in their writing.

I would like you to tell me which example most successfully creates rhythm in their writing.

Pause the video and complete the check now.

Welcome back, well done if you selected the second paragraph on the board, the one that started, I waited like the sharks for the first body.

I, respectful, they hungry.

You can see that throughout this paragraph, the pupil has really varied their sentence length and type.

We've got some really long sentences in there and some very, very short ones, especially that final sentence there, hemmed in.

Really nice to feel how scared their character is.

Their writing in the first person, their character is hemmed in by the boat and by the jaws of the shark.

So we are pausing there and feeling like the character.

The first paragraph that you can see on the board, there are some really lovely ideas in there, but there needs to be more control over the rhythm of their writing so that we are taken on a journey with the main character of their story rather than just hearing sentence after sentence, after sentence.

The rhythm is not there to excite us and to engage us.

Okay, our final practice task for today.

I cannot wait to hear all of your bits of writing, because you've got such a great grasp of this idea of rhythm, but you've also got these really, really amazing ideas in your head that we've been discussing inspired by Natasha Bowen and also inspired by this image, which is now on the board again for you.

So Aisha used this image and "Skin of the Sea" to inspire some creative writing.

And she wrote, "The ship crashed through the waves.

Each wave was powerful.

Simidele watched the ship move up and down.

" Now, some nice ideas in there, but you can hear just as I read it out that the rhythm is not there yet.

So I would like you to improve Aisha's writing by varying its rhythm.

I'd like you to use at least one complex sentence and you can alter any other aspect of her work if you wish.

I know that you've got some great ideas, 'cause I've heard them throughout today's lesson.

So pause the video, give this task the time that it deserves, show off not just your brilliant imaginations, but also your fantastic control of rhythm in your writing.

Pause the video and complete this task now.

Welcome back, so lovely to see you improving that small section of Aisha's writing by varying the rhythm, taking a bit more control over the idea of the rhythm.

Can see some really long complex sentences and then some shorter ones which really pull you up short, nice, short and snappy and make the reader pause and pay attention to what it is you are saying.

We're gonna do a bit of feedback before we celebrate your work.

So here is the section of Jun's rewriting of Aisha's work.

And Jun wrote, "The ship crashed through the waves.

Exploding off the side in great white bursts of spray and salt, each wave whacked the wood powerfully.

Simidele watched.

" So really nice rewriting of Aisha's work there.

Now, you can see that Jun creates rhythm by contrasting a complex sentence to a short one.

So exploding off the side in great white bursts of spray and salt.

We've got the subordinate clauses there and then the comma.

Each wave whacked the wood powerfully, we've got the main clause there and then we've got this very short sentence just after it.

Just two words, Simidele watched.

So I'd like you to identify where and how you've created rhythm in your own work, including your complex sentence.

Pause the video and complete this check now.

Welcome back, lovely to hear people, some people reading their work aloud just to check that the rhythm is there, and again, using that trick, if you read your work aloud, the punctuation makes you pause, you can hear where the punctuation is and therefore you can work out, was this correct?

Is this where the comma should be?

Do I need to add a full stop here?

Really nice to see the variety of ways that people use those short, snappy sentences to really control the reader's reaction to what was happening in their piece of writing.

In summary, a complex sentence is made up of a main clause and a subordinate clause.

Complex sentences are divided by a comma when the subordinate clause begins the sentence.

Writers use a range of sentence types and lengths in their work to create rhythm and pace.

You should consider the rhythm of your own writing just as you would consider which word to use or which technique.

It's been such a pleasure to work through today's lesson with you and I look forward to seeing you next time.