Lesson video

Hello, and welcome to today's English lesson.

My name is Mrs. Butterworth and I will be guiding you through your learning today.

Now, this lesson is all about analysing extended responses to the "Eduqas Poetry Anthology".

So you'll need to make sure you have access to that anthology.

Likewise, we'll be using essays that can be found in the additional materials.

So make sure you have access to both of those before you begin this lesson.

So when you've gathered everything that you need, we'll be ready to get started.

So shall we go? Great.

So in this lesson, you will recognise excellent writing practise in a model response.

Before we delve into the lesson, let's look at those all important keywords that will help with our understanding of the lesson.

These words are to compare, context, thematically and misconception.

Now, to compare is to note the similarities and or dissimilarities between two or more things, and that's gonna be a really key skill when we are looking at a poetry comparison.

Now, context, you may have heard of things like historical context or biographical context, and these are considered the circumstances in which a text was produced.

So we might start bringing some of those things into our responses today.

Thematically is a way that relates to the subjects or themes of something.

So we will be exploring the thematic links between poems. And likewise, misconception is a view or opinion that is incorrect, because it is based on faulty thinking or understanding.

So we'll be thinking about misconceptions around poetry and writing about it today.

Now, the outline of our lesson looks like this.

We're going to begin by exploring model introductions.

So we'll be focusing on those introductions before moving on to looking at that main body of the essays by exploring model comparative analysis.

Now, sometimes when you are comparing poetry, you may be given a named poem, so a poem from the anthology and then asked to compare it to a poem of your choice.

So you should choose a poem that matches the poem you have been given thematically.

So you need to think about the themes that you could compare in those poems. So let's think about that for a moment.

I'd like you to discuss please, if you were given "The Schoolboy" by William Blake, which other poems from the anthology would you choose to compare it with and why? So pause the video to give yourself time to discuss that question.

If you are working alone, you may wish to sit quietly and think to yourself or even jot down some ideas, but pause the video and off you go.

Okay, some great discussions there.

So let's look at what some of our Oak pupils have said in that discussion.

You might want to compare some of these to your own ideas.

So Izzy has said that she would pick "Blackberry-Picking", because both poems explore childhood experiences and the relationship with nature.

So I really like Izzy's choice of poem here and how she's really clearly thought about that thematic link.

Alex has said that he would compare it with "Catrin", because both poems look at childhood and the tensions or struggles within it.

Again, a lovely idea.

And Lucas has said, ""Kamikaze", because it deals with reflection on life choices and the connection between people and the natural world." So we've thought about some of those links, but now what we're going to do is we're going to explore a model answer.

So let's just look at the question first.

Before we delve into those model answers, let's look at the question.

So the question is, "In "The Schoolboy", the poet explores ideas about nature and childhood experience.

Choose one poem from the anthology that also explores nature and childhood experience.

Compare the presentation of nature and childhood experience in both poems." So the model response compares the poems, "The Schoolboy", which is the given poem, and "Blackberry-Picking", which is the chosen poem.

So before we look at that model answer, I'd like you to discuss first, what points of comparisons might you make between these two poems? How are they similar, how are they different? So you might start thinking about what you might expect to see in a model answer about those two poems. So I'd like you to discuss what points of comparison might you make between these two poems? How are they similar and how are they different? So pause the video to give yourself time to discuss those questions.

Think quietly to yourself or even jot down some ideas.

Pause the video and off you go.

Okay, fantastic, loads of ideas there.

So that's really great and lots of points of comparison being discussed there.

So well done.

So what I would like you to do is I would now like you please to read model response one, and this is found in the additional materials.

So if you haven't already got access to that, make sure you do that now.

And as you read that model response, I would like you please to consider this question.

To what extent do the ideas in the model response align with your own? So you're definitely going to need to pause the video to give yourself time to read that model response.

So pause the video and get reading.

Okay, great, well done.

So hopefully that was really helpful for you to read that model response and perhaps you even saw some of your own ideas being reflected in there.

So a little question for you here, a multiple choice question.

So which answer best summarises the argument in model response one? So let me repeat that question again.

Which answer best summarises the argument in model response one? You'll need to pause the video and pick A, B or C as your answer please.

Off you go.

Okay, are we feeling confident? Are we ready to give an answer? Excellent, so well done to everyone that said C, that both poems explored childhood in nature, but Blake focuses on freedom lost to school, while Heaney shows the fleeting joy and decay in childhood pleasures.

So that summarises that model response, and I think what's really lovely here is we have a similarity, but there is also a difference being compared there too.

So let's just remind ourselves of what an effective introduction will do.

It will clearly respond to the essay question, showing understanding of the key themes or ideas, state a focused thesis or argument that outlines the main points the essay will explore and it may include relevant context or overview to reframe the discussion.

So for example, about the poet or poet or themes, the poem, poet or themes.

So thinking about that modern introduction and what an effective introduction will do, let's look at Jacob's introduction here.

So Jacob has very kindly shared his introduction with us.

So he has written, "Both "The Schoolboy" and "Blackberry-Picking" are poems about children and nature.

They both show feelings about childhood and the natural world.

The poems are quite different, but both are interesting and show the poets' ideas." So let's just look at the feedback that Jacob was given.

So he does absolutely respond to the essay question, okay? He's comparing those poems and he's thinking about those key themes and ideas, but Jacob hasn't stated or included a focused thesis or argument, nor has he included relevant context or an overview to frame the discussion.

Where he's put things like the poems are quite different, but both are interesting and show the poets' ideas.

it's quite vague, isn't it? It's not really specific.

And actually it could be said about many other poems and we want to make sure that our responses are really specific to the poems that we are writing about.

So overall, what went well? So for Jacob, the introduction mentions the poems and their main themes, showing some understanding of the question, but an even better if would be if Jacob clearly stated a focused thesis that outlines how the poems present nature and childhood experience different or similarly.

Now, Jacob, very well done, uses the feedback to rewrite his introduction.

So let's see Jacob's improved introduction.

So it now reads, "Both "The Schoolboy" and "Blackberry-Picking" explore childhood experience through nature, but they do so in contrasting ways.

Blake uses nature to highlight a child's desire for freedom and the damage caused by restrictive schooling, while Heaney presents the excitement and disappointment that come with learning about the temporary nature of pleasure.

Both poets reflect on the emotional journey of childhood using the natural world to express deeper truths about growing up." Wow, what a really great rewritten paragraph from Jacob there.

You may have already started to see how it is much more specific, much more relevant to the poems that he is talking about.

So I'm not gonna give away too much more, but I would like you to discuss please, thinking about that success criteria and what we looked at before in his feedback, I'd like you to discuss how has Jacob improved his introduction and met the success criteria? So pause the video to give yourself time to discuss that question.

Off you go.

Thank you for your suggestions.

So lots of you picking up that Jacob has a clear thesis argument here, that he has included that thesis statement.

You know, we can see what his argument is going to be and what he is going to include in that essay.

He's also made it much more specific, hasn't he? So where it says, "Both poets reflect on the emotional journey of childhood," that's really specifically focusing on the ideas in those poems and that is really important when we are writing our essays.

So well done, Jacob.

So here is an introduction.

Both "The Schoolboy" and "Blackberry-Picking" are poems about childhood and nature.

They are similar in theme, but show different ideas.

The poets use language to show what childhood is like and how nature is involved.

Now, what I would like you to do is I would like you now please to select which EBI, which even better if would most help improve this introduction, okay? So you may want to spend a few moments re-reading that introduction and then you need to decide A, B or C, which even better if would most help improve this introduction? So pause the video to give yourself time to get that question done.

Off you go.

Okay, so shall we see which answer is correct? Great, B.

So even better if this introduction clearly stated how each poet presents the themes of nature and childhood.

Again, linking to that specificity, because here we've got, they are similar in theme, but show different ideas.

Again, that could be said about any poem, couldn't it or any combination of poem.

So making it more specific about the themes of nature and childhood would really elevate this introduction.

Let's just look at the wrong answer here.

So A, where it says even better if you added more quotations, you do not need to include quotations in your introduction.

We can save those when we come to analyse the poem in more depth.

Likewise, C, you mentioned the structure of the poems and how it changes.

We can save that until our main body of the essay, when we start to reanalyze and unpick those poems. Okay, so your first practise task.

I'd like you please to make sure you have found model response one in those additional materials.

So we've already looked at this in this lesson, but you'll need to reread that introduction.

So read it and then I would like you please to use the success criteria to give it a WWW, a what went well and an even better if, okay? So we've got the success criteria on the screen here and then I would like you to use the feedback to rewrite and improve the introduction.

So think about all of the stuff we've looked at in terms of how Jacob improved his initial introduction and also when we looked at that paragraph to think about that EBI.

Okay, so we've done lots on this so you know what you're doing.

Okay, fantastic, so gather what you need to complete this task and pause the video and get going.

Well done, everyone.

That was really good work and it can be quite difficult, can't it, to rewrite someone else's work? But I think that extra bit of challenge is really helpful when we go back to consider our own work and our own writing.

So Sophia here has very kindly let us look at her rewritten introduction.

So she has said, let's read it together, "Both "The Schoolboy" and "Blackberry-Picking" explore how childhood is shaped by emotional responses to the natural world.

Blake, a romantic poet, presents nature as a source of freedom and innocence, contrasting it with the damaging effects of formal education.

In contrast, Heaney reflects on the sensory pleasures of nature and the inevitable disappointment that follows, capturing the bittersweet lessons of growing up.

While both poets draw on nature to express childhood experience, they use it to reveal very different truths about the transition from innocence to awareness." Wow, what a fantastic introduction from Sophia there.

So Sophia has really, in this introduction, met the success criteria.

So I'm going to highlight where she has done that now.

So we've got the understanding of themes and ideas here, exploring how childhood is shaped by emotional responses to the natural world.

So there is a clear understanding of those themes and ideas.

That last section, it's quite long, but it's really focused.

There is a clear argument here.

So we know what Sophia would go on to write in her main part of her essay.

There's a clear thesis here, a clear argument of what she's going to go on and look at, the similarities to differences.

And what Sophia has also done is she has offered some relevant context.

So the idea that Blake is a romantic poet and she's also given a slight overview of those key themes and ideas.

So this is a really strong introduction from Sophia.

So I'd like you now to spend a few moments just checking through your own introduction and checking that it meets the success criteria.

So pause the video to give yourself time to reread and check through your own essay using that success criteria.

Off you go.

A very well done, everyone.

We're now already at the second part of our lesson, so that's fantastic work.

So now we've looked at the introduction, we're now moving on to explore that comparative analysis, the model comparative analysis.

So like most literature essays, you still need to analyse the quotations you include in a comparative essay, and I'm sure you know this by now, that that analysis of quotations is really key in those literature essays.

So I'd like you to read the following response.

Should we read it together? Okay, let's do that.

So, "In "The Schoolboy" Blake talks about how school drives all joy away, which is similar to "Blackberry-Picking" where the berries begin to rot and go bad." So let's just look a little bit more at this response in detail.

So although there are quotations from both poems, which is excellent, there is no clear exploration of how or why they're used.

It's almost like this response has just gone, here's a quote from that poem and here's a quote from the other poem.

So it's kind of just given us quotes as opposed to doing something with them, so there's no clear exploration of how or why they're used.

And they're general statements, aren't they? It's about which is similar to "Blackberry-Picking".

It doesn't say how it's similar.

So these generalised statements are used without developing meaning, effect or comparison.

So let's look at an improved version.

We can already see that this response has grown.

So let's see what it's done in that growth.

Blake uses the phrase "Drives all joy away," to show how formal education suppresses a child's natural happiness and freedom.

Wow, it's already much more specific, isn't it? Much more relevant to the ideas in the poem.

The strong verb drives suggests force and loss, creating a tone of frustration.

So they've used some terminology there in the word verb, but more importantly they said what that word drive, what that verb suggests.

So that's really good there.

Similarly, in "Blackberry-Picking", Heaney uses the word rot to represent the inevitable disappointment that follows childhood excitement.

The contrast between the sweetness of the berries and their later decay mirrors the emotional journey of growing up.

While Blake critiques an external system that damages innocence, Heaney reflects on a more internal, natural process of learning through experience.

So I've given you a few ideas already, but what I would like you to do is just spend a few moments discussing how has this response been improved? So pause the video to give yourself time to look through that response again and discuss how has the response been improved? Pause the video and off you go.

Okay, so you may have discussed some of the following ideas, so let's just share.

So you may have discussed how each quotation is introduced and analysed for meaning and effect.

Okay, so they have done a lot with small amounts of quotation, haven't they? So they've really used these quotations well.

They've used comparative conjunctions to make direct comparisons.

So it uses the word similarly.

The terminology is used in strong verbs to identify and really zoom in on specific features and analyse effects.

And like I said earlier, they've used strong word drives, but even more importantly they've talked about the effect of that word drives, what it means, why the poet might have used that word.

And then the paragraph clearly explores how each poet presents childhood experience through nature.

So true or false time.

Using quotations from both poems and placing them in close proximity makes a good comparative response.

Is that true or false? Come up with your answer now, please.

Well done to everyone that said the answer is false, but you need to say why that statement is false please.

So pause the video to give yourself time to come up with that answer.

Okay, so I'm going to share an answer now.

This may be similar or it may be a bit different to what you've said, but hopefully we're working along the same lines.

So one misconception is that weaving quotations through the response demonstrates comparison.

However, without explaining how the quotes are used and what they mean, the response lacks analysis and depth.

I think we're starting to get this now, aren't we? Great.

So another misconception is to point out differences between the poems but not effectively analyse them.

Okay, so this all about this analysis, this saying a lot about a little.

So let's look at this following response.

Let's read it together.

Blake and Heaney are very different poets writing in different times.

Blake was a romantic who didn't like school, while Heaney was writing in the 20th century about childhood in Ireland.

"The Schoolboy" is more about how society ruins childhood with school and "Blackberry-Picking" is more personal and about fruit going bad.

So what has happened in this response? So context has been mentioned.

So this response talks about that Blake was a romantic poet, Heaney was writing in the 20th century and the different places that they were writing from, but it isn't linked to anything.

It doesn't say how this context impacts the poem or the poets' choices.

And differences are stated but not explored in relation to how they affect the poetic techniques, tone or impact.

So again, we've said things like, "Blackberry-Picking" is more personal," but where's the evidence for that? Why has Heaney made this personal? What shows us that this is personal? How does this link to those bigger ideas within the poem? So now let's look at that all important improved version.

So Blake, writing as a romantic poet in the 18th century, believed that nature was essential for a child's emotional and spiritual development.

In "The Schoolboy", he criticises the way formal education removes children from the natural world.

In contrast, Heaney, reflecting on his 20th central rural childhood, presents nature as a place of joy and discovery, but also of inevitable loss.

While both poets explored childhood through nature, Blake presents society as the force that damages innocence, whereas Heaney portrays that loss as a part of growing up.

Their different historical contexts shape how they see childhood, one as corrupted by institutions, the other as naturally fleeting.

So it's over to you now and what I would like you to do is yet again discuss how has this response been improved? So pause the video to give yourself time to do that.

Off you go.

Great, thank you so much for your suggestions.

So you may have discussed the following.

Context is clearly linked to each poet's perspective.

For example, using words like believed.

And I think that's a really good tip there about using that word believed.

So for example, Blake was a romantic poet, which meant he believed that childhood or institutions were.

So that's a good thing to start using.

The comparison is focused and developed, so not just listed.

So every time they make a comparison, it's developed further.

And then one key difference is explored in depth, making the paragraph clear and effective.

So actually the most effective comparisons don't necessarily have loads of identified similarities and differences.

So don't feel like you have to find the most similarities or the most differences.

It's what you do once you've identified that similarity, that difference, okay? So that's a really important point to think about.

Okay, true or false? In a comparative response, you should identify similarities and differences and then develop them with analysis, explaining how each poet presents their ideas and why that matters.

Is that statement true or false? Come up with your answer now, please.

And a very well done to everyone that said true.

Perhaps you noticed that develop them with analysis section there, but you need to say why this statement is true.

So pause the video to come up with your answer now.

Okay, so I'll share what I have.

Hopefully you have something similar.

So why is this true? Because if you do this, it shows you understand how the poets present their ideas, not just what those ideas are.

It helps you explain effects, link to themes and answer the question in more depth.

So we have reached our final practise task.

So a little bit more work to do and I know we've got it in us.

So I'd like you please to make sure that you have model answer two from the additional materials.

So if you don't have access to that, you need to make sure you do before you start this task.

And the first thing you are going to do is you are going to read that model response.

And what I would like you to do is I would like you to identify where quotations have been identified but not analysed.

And then I would like you please to identify where similarities and difference have been pointed out but not analysed.

And then what I would like you to do, once you've looked at that model response, is to rewrite and improve paragraph one or two.

So select which paragraph you prefer and I'd like you to rewrite that, thinking about that feedback.

Okay, so make sure you have everything you need for this task and get ready to pause the video and get going, off you go.

Well done, everyone.

So just a final reflection task to complete.

So what I would like you to do is just complete the following reflection sentences to tell me how you've improved those paragraphs.

So I improved the model paragraph by.

In my next comparative poetry essay, I would like to make sure I, okay? So this is a really important task, because it's important to think about how we can use everything we've learned today to carry forward into our next essay.

So pause the video to complete those reflection sentences.

Off you go.

And that signals the end of the lesson and a very well done to you all.

So let's just remind ourselves of everything we have looked at this lesson.

We know that analysing model answers allows us to explore how we might frame ideas and how to avoid misconceptions.

An effective introduction should clearly set out the argument of the essay in relation to the question.

And one misconception is to interweave quotations from both poems but not effectively analyse them.

I think that's been a really key point this lesson, hasn't it, that importance of analysis.

And another misconception is to point out differences between the poems, but again, not effectively analyse them.

So thank you so much for joining me today.

I look forward to seeing you all again soon in another English lesson.

I'll see you then.

Bye.