Lesson video

Hello, my young scholars of religion.

My name is Ms. Marks, and I'm going to be your religious education teacher today.

Today we're going to be doing all about sexual relationships before and outside of marriage.

So we will be discussing sex and the idea of consent, as well as thinking about this as theologians, philosophers, and social scientists.

So when you're ready, let's go.

So by the end of this lesson today, you'll be able to explain different views on sexual relationships before and outside of marriage.

Let's start with our key terms. Adultery, voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and a person who's not their spouse, also known as sex outside of marriage.

Consensual sex, when a person agrees by choice to partake in sexual acts and has the freedom and the capacity to make that choice.

Sex before marriage, having sex with someone before you're married, also known as sexual relationships before marriage or premarital sex.

So watch out for those in today's lesson.

So in today's lesson, we will have two sections.

The first one, sexual relationships before marriage, the second one, sexual relationships outside of marriage.

So let's start with our first section, sexual relationships before marriage.

Sam and Izzy are discussing the law around consensual sex, and Izzy says, "The current law for consensual sex in England and Wales says you must be aged over 16 or over.

Therefore, it's not legal for anyone under 16 to have sex.

You don't have to be married though." So the law is, in England and Wales, that you must be aged 16 or over, but you don't have to be married in order to be able to have consensual sex.

And Sam says, "Well, I've heard in other countries they have different laws." And Izzy says, "Well, yes, that's correct.

Other countries have different ages for consent and they may have a law to say you must be married first to have sexual relationships.

For example, in Qatar and Indonesia, it's illegal to have sex without being married." So these things can differ depending on the country and the law that's in place in that country.

So people have different views on whether it's okay to have sexual relationships before marriage or not, and their views may be influenced by lots of different factors, and we're being social scientists today as well as scholars of religion, and so we're going to think about what in society or in somebody's family or in somebody's friendship group might influence them to have these views about sex before marriage.

So pause the video and have a think.

What might influence someone to have these views about sex before marriage? Pause the video, off you go, and we'll see what you've done in a moment.

Well, I've got some ideas here of it being the views around you, so it could be your family and friends that influence you to have this view.

It could be religious beliefs and teachings about the purpose of sex and whether you can have sex before you're married or not.

It could be through cultural norms and laws, so how the society is that you're in, is it kind of seen as normal, is it seen as the right thing to do or not in that society? And also the impact on individuals or society, so there may be particular people who have influenced someone's view as to why they think it's right or not to have sex before marriage.

So let's do a quick check.

What is the current legal age for having consensual sex in England or Wales? Sometimes it's called the age of consent.

Pause the video and have a go and we'll see what you've done in a moment.

That's right, it's 16.

Non-religious people that think that sexual relationships before marriage is wrong may consider the possibility of procreation and the potential consequences of a baby being raised without married parents, so procreation is about reproducing and having children, and some people who are not religious might say that should only happen if you're married, so you wouldn't wanna have sex in case you got pregnant.

They might also think about an increase in the risk of STIs, which is sexually transmitted infections, so that people are having sex when they're not married, is there more chance of more people having sex with each other and being able to spread on these sexually transmitted infections? They might also consider those emotional risks, where you're sharing intimate relationships, but without commitment, is that going to be sort of damaging emotionally for somebody, and these are all non-religious reasons that people could have for why sexual relationships before marriage are wrong.

So let's hear from Warren.

He's going to share his views on sexual relationships before marriage, and he's an atheist.

So here's Warren, and he says, "I think it's okay for adults to have sex before marriage as long as it's consensual and they protect themselves from unwanted pregnancy and STIs.

As an adult, I make decisions for myself, as long as I don't break the law or harm anyone.

Sex is something that humans can enjoy and it doesn't need a commitment like marriage to make it special." So now let's meet Diane.

She's a humanist and she's married to Alan, and she's going to share her views on sexual relationships before marriage with us too, and humanism is a non-religious worldview.

And here we have Diane and Alan and their baby.

And she says, "Alan and I had consensual sex whilst we were dating.

We both decided we were ready to share our feelings through physical intimacy.

We didn't need to be married to show a commitment to each other.

We used contraception so we could plan to have our baby once we were married.

We wanted our children to have the stability of us being married as they grow up." So again here we've got that link between emotional commitment but also procreation and sex, but for Diane, she felt it was okay for them to do it whilst they were dating and they were beginning to make these commitments to each other.

So there are many reasons why a non-religious person might accept sex before marriage.

Let's think of one together.

Give one reason a non-religious person may accept sex before marriage.

I think they could say, it doesn't break the law in England and Wales, it's not against the law in this country, so that's a reason, non-religious reason, why you could accept people having sex before marriage.

So now over to you then.

Give one reason a non-religious person may accept sex before marriage.

Pause the video and have a go, and we'll see what you've done in a moment.

So I've got here, sex could be special without marriage.

Other answers you could have said are, adults can make their own decisions.

A non-married couple can share their feelings in a physical way.

So these are all non-religious reasons why someone might accept sex before marriage.

Well done.

So one really important tool that social scientists often use is surveys, where they ask questions to people, and it can be done over a number of years, and in this survey, British people were asked their views about sex before marriage, and it was over a period of time.

So we can see here that our numbers are in percentages and we've got a time period of almost 40 years here, and people were asked whether they thought having sex before marriage was always wrong, mostly wrong, sometimes wrong, really wrong, or not wrong at all, and we can see from this data how things may have changed over time.

And this is really helpful for social scientists because they can look at how things in society have changed over time.

So why do you think researchers have asked the same question over a number of years? Each time they've asked the same question.

Why is that? Pause the video and have a think, and you can talk to the person next to you or talk to me.

Well, by asking the same question each time, it can help to give a better picture of how attitudes might have changed or remained the same over time, if it's the same question that's asked each time.

So what does this data show us about people's attitudes towards sex before marriage then? So let's have a look at the data and see whether there's some change or shift over that 40 year period.

Pause the video and have another think, and we'll see what you've come up with a moment.

Well, we've got here quite a shift from 16% of people, which is quite low anyway, down to 2%, which is kind of tiny, the number of people who think it's always wrong to have sex before marriage, between 1983 and 2019.

And then we've got an increase from 42% saying it's not wrong at all to have sex before marriage, in 1983, up to 74%, which is almost 3/4 of the people, saying it's not wrong at all to have sex before marriage, in 2019.

And I wonder how the data would be different if we'd gone back another 40 years to 80 years ago? So why might these attitudes have changed over this time period? We've got these two trends of people saying it's always wrong, decreasing, and people saying it's not wrong at all, increasing.

Why might those attitudes have changed? Pause the video and have another think.

You can talk to the person next to you or talk to me.

Well, as social scientists, we are going to think about how society might have changed and that might then influence people's attitudes and what they're going to say in a survey, and it could be that religion has had less of an influence over that society over that 40 year period, but it might not just be that.

It could also be that contraception is more widely available so people can have sex without worrying about pregnancy, perhaps that was one of the factors, or being able to protect themselves against different sexually transmitted infections.

Well done.

So time for another check then.

Is this true or false? "Attitudes towards sex poor marriage have stayed the same in the last 40 years." Is that true or false? Pause the video and have a go and we'll see what you've done in a moment.

That is false, but why? Well, survey data has shown that attitudes have changed, we just saw that in our table earlier, since 1983 to 2019, more people think that sex before marriage is not wrong at all.

Well done.

So time for a practise task to see what we've learned then.

Here's a full evaluation question using a statement about sexual relationships before marriage.

So here's the statement.

"Sexual relationships before marriage are always wrong." And what you're going to do is give a paragraph that supports a different point of view on the statement, using non-religious arguments.

So the statement is that sexual relationships before marriage are always wrong, and what you're going to do is give something that supports a different point of view, and use non-religious arguments.

So in these kind of answers, you will always need to give religious arguments, but you can also refer to non-religious arguments.

We've covered lots of those so far in this lesson.

So you're going to give one paragraph which is showing a different view to the statement.

The statement says that sexual relationships before marriage are always wrong, and then you're going to give some reasons as to why someone might hold that view.

So pause the video and off you go, and we'll see what you've done in a moment.

Well done, some great thinking there.

So our statement was, "Sexual relationships before marriage are always wrong," and I asked you to do a paragraph supporting a different view to that statement, and we said we could use some of those non-religious views that we've looked at so far in today's lesson, and your response may look like this.

"Some people may disagree with this statement because they believe that adults can make their own decisions.

They may think that sex can be for enjoyment, it doesn't just have to be for married couples.

They may also believe that sex could be part of a physical intimate relationship that non-married people can also share.

They can have a committed relationship that includes having sexual relationships, regardless of being married.

They may also argue it's not illegal to have sex before marriage, so as long as it's consensual, it's not causing any harm.

Survey data shows that attitudes before sex before marriage have changed over time, and about 3/4 of people think it's not wrong at all." So on to section two, then, sexual relationships outside of marriage.

Sexual relationships outside of marriage refers to when someone is already married having sex with someone else that is not their marriage partner.

So this is different to sexual relationships before marriage because one or both parties are married and they're not having sex with each other, they're having sex with other people.

Sometimes this is known as having an affair, cheating or adultery.

Now, it's not illegal to commit adultery in the UK, so in the United Kingdom it's not an illegal thing, but it is illegal in some countries in the world, such as Pakistan, Somalia, and some states in the United States of America.

Many of those countries that prohibit adultery have the state religion of Islam, in which adultery is forbidden, but not all, because we've got some states in the United States of America that have it as illegal too.

So is this true or false? Committing adultery is illegal in the UK.

Is that true or false? Pause the video and have a go, and we'll see what you've done in a moment.

That is false, but why? Well, it's false because it's not illegal in the UK, but it is illegal in some other countries, for example, in Somalia and Pakistan.

So as we're being social scientists today, we can see in another worldwide survey from 2013 how people responded to the statement, "Married people having an affair, committing adultery, is morally unacceptable," so this isn't necessarily about the law, this is about whether they think it's right or wrong, and here are some of those results that was done across the worldwide.

We've got France, Germany, Japan, Britain, and Pakistan all represented here in this data, and we've got a range of different views as to whether it is morally acceptable or not, so is it right or wrong? Now, which country's data here has the highest percentage that think adultery is morally unacceptable? Pause the video and have a look at the data and then think about why could that be the case from what we've already talked about in today's lesson.

Pause the video and have a go, and we'll see what you've done in a moment.

Yes, so we've got Pakistan here, and 92% of people saying it's morally unacceptable to have an affair or to commit adultery, and I wonder if you could think of some reasons why.

We said earlier, didn't we, that many of the countries who have adultery as illegal, as against law in that country, have their legal systems based on Islamic teachings, and Pakistan is a country that has its legal system based on Islamic teachings, and it's completely forbidden within Islam to commit adultery, so that could be why.

Now look, columns A and B here don't have a title for their results, and I wonder what you think this data could be? What could A and B be? If we've already got morally unacceptable, morally acceptable and not a moral issue, what could A and B be? Pause the video and have a think, you could talk to the person next to you or talk to me.

Well, column A was people who said it depends.

So for them you couldn't just say in a blanket statement, it's always wrong or it's always okay, you needed to know the circumstance to decide it.

So you've got a variety of countries there, Japan, Germany, and Britain, where people said, okay, maybe it depends.

And column B said, they either didn't know or refused to answer.

So here we've got some representation for Germany, Japan, Britain and Pakistan, where people either didn't know or wouldn't want to say.

Why do you think people might have not wanted to answer this question? Pause the video and have a think, you could talk to the person next to you or talk to me.

Well, talking about sex, relationships and adultery can be quite a sensitive topic and some people just don't wanna share their personal view.

Maybe in the survey there were other questions they were happy to answer, but for this one, they didn't want to share it.

A social science survey should always give respondents that opportunity to opt out of one or more questions if they don't feel comfortable answering it.

So here's some reasons why non-religious people might think that adultery is wrong.

It breaks marriage vows where you're saying you're gonna be faithful to your marriage partner, so marriage involves a promise that you make to the other person and you're breaking that if you commit adultery, if that's what you promised when you have the marriage vows.

It can cause emotional distress to anyone, including children, so not just the two people in the relationship, but other people connected to that couple in the family.

It can also break the trust in the relationship, where you've made this promise and then you're no longer going to trust the person when they make promises in the future.

So these are all non-religious reasons why people might think adultery is wrong.

Let's do a quick check.

What's the missing word? "Some non-religious people might believe that having a sexual relationship outside of a marriage, adultery, breaks the marriage," what? Pause the video and have a go and we'll see what you've written in a moment.

Vows, you might have said promises, but vows is the word we use for those solemn, special promises that people make in a marriage ceremony.

Well done.

So now we're going to ask a few of our atheists what their view is on sexual relationships outside of marriage to understand further what some of these non-religious views could be.

So Aisha's asking Zoe, "Zoe, as an atheist, what's your view on sexual relationships outside of marriage?" And Zoe says, "I think adultery is wrong.

If you have married someone, you've promised to be faithful to them, then you shouldn't break these vows.

If you want to have sex with more than one person in your life, then you don't have to get married.

I live in England and it isn't illegal to commit adultery.

However, I think it can be emotionally damaging to cheat on your husband or wife." So here we've got Zoe mentioning those vows, those special promises that are made in a marriage, so if you commit adultery, you're breaking those promises.

And also she's saying here, it can be emotionally damaging, it can be that trust can be eroded away.

So now I shall ask Brandon, who's a humanist, "What's your view on sexual relationships outside of marriage?" And Brandon says, "Well, I live by the virtues of kindness, loyalty and honesty, so if I were to think about cheating on my wife, I need to think about if it would be the loyal or kind thing to do.

I promised to her when we married that I'd be faithful, so adultery would break that commitment and break the trust between us." So Brandon has these kind of guiding virtues and the characteristics he wants to live by, and if he commits adultery, he's going to be breaking those virtues and those characteristics that he really wants to have in himself, and that's gonna break the trust that he's promised his wife he will be faithful to her.

So now we're gonna hear from Warren, who's an atheist, and he's gonna give his opinion on whether it's okay to have sexual relationships outside of marriage or not.

And Warren says, "Well, there may be a few situation where it is okay to be married to someone and have sex with someone else.

For example, if a couple have split up.

Sometimes people move on from a broken marriage without spending their time or money on a divorce.

I think it's okay for them to have a sexual relationship with someone else in this case.

Happiness is important in life." So Warren's one of those people who might have said in the survey earlier that it depends on the situation, depends on the circumstance whether it's okay or not to have a sexual relationship outside of marriage.

And here he's given the example of a couple who maybe they've split up and they're looking to get divorced, but it can be quite expensive and costly and quite a long process to get a divorce, and for him, he thinks, well, that couple, they've already said they're no longer going to be together and sort of broken that promise for each other that they made in marriage, so he thinks it's okay for them to have sexual relationships.

So time for another practise task to see what we've learned then.

Here's a full evaluation statement using a statement about sexual relationships outside of marriage, so remember this is talking about adultery, or sometimes it's called cheating.

The statement is, "Sexual relationships outside of marriage are always wrong." So here we've got a statement saying they're always wrong, there's no circumstance where they would ever be right, and what you are going to do is give reasoned arguments to support a different point of view, so not the statement, a different point of view.

And as we've said, you can refer to non-religious arguments in these kinds of questions, and so you're going to refer to some of those non-religious arguments we've already covered in today's lesson.

So you're going to write one paragraph which is showing a different point of view and reasons why someone might have that, to the statement, which is, "Sexual relationships outside of marriage are always wrong." And remember, you can bring in those non-religious views we've been looking at so far in today's lesson.

Pause the video and off you go, and we'll see what you've done in a moment.

Well done, some great thinking there.

So the statement I gave you was, "Sexual relationships outside of marriage are always wrong," and this was part of a full evaluation question, but you only had to do one paragraph.

Your paragraph was going to be showing a different point of view to this statement and giving some reasons for it, and you could be using those non-religious arguments we've covered it today's lesson.

So your answer might look something like this.

"Some people may say that sexual relationships outside of marriage are not always wrong, because there are some situations where a marriage may have ended, but the couple have not divorced.

It might mean that they want to have a sexual relationship with someone other than their spouse and want to have a sexual relationship with them.

Divorce can take a long time and can be expensive, so some couples may not get divorced before they start a new sexual relationship.

They should still be able to have a sexual relationship with someone new, as this wouldn't necessarily be classed as cheating on their spouse." So that was Warren's view there really, isn't it, that we've used in our paragraph? Well done.

So let's summarise what we've learned today then.

"Sexual relationships before and outside of a marriage." People's views on sexual relationships before marriage may be influenced by a range of factors, including other people around them.

Some people are against sexual relationships before marriage for non-religious reasons.

Attitudes to sex before marriage have changed over time.

Most people are against sex outside of marriage, adultery, as it can have negative consequences and goes against the marriage vows.

And there may be a few situations where it's okay, for example, due to a marriage breakup.

So well done for your hard work today, scholars of religion and social scientists, and I'll see you again soon.

Bye-bye.