Hello, my name is Miss Willow, and I'm so excited to be your teacher for today's lesson.

Today's lesson is called Saying no kindly, and it fits into the unit Healthy relationships: How can we stop bullying? During this lesson, we are going to be talking a little bit about bullying, so we recommend that you have an adult with you for the duration of this lesson.

If at any point you do feel worried or uncomfortable, it's really important that you close the screen and that you go and speak to a trusted adult.

Okay, let's make a start on today's learning.

By the end of today's lesson, you will be able to describe how to say no respectfully.

Before we get started, we need to go over some ground rules.

These help to make sure that everyone feels safe and comfortable throughout today's lesson.

Laura says that we need to listen to others.

This means we're not going to interrupt other people if they're speaking.

Andeep says we need to respect each other's privacy.

This means we're not going to ask anyone any personal questions, as this can make some people feel uncomfortable.

Jacob says, "No judgement ." This means that if someone chooses to share a story, an experience, or a feeling, we are not going to judge them for it.

And finally, Izzy reminds us that we can choose our level of participation.

This means it's up to us how much we want to join in.

We are now going to go through the keywords for today's learning.

These are gonna pop up quite a few times in today's lesson, so it's really important that we have a good understanding of what each of our keywords means.

First of all, we have the word uncomfortable.

If we feel uncomfortable, this means feeling anxious, worried, or unable to relax.

Respect: this means treating others kindly and valuing their feelings, ideas and boundaries.

For example, listening carefully and being polite, even if you disagree.

Next, we have the word boundary.

A boundary is an imaginary line separating what we will and won't allow.

And our last keyword in today's lesson is kindness.

This means being nice, caring, and thinking about how others feel.

As we go through today's lesson, keep an eye out for these keywords and when you spot them, see if you can remember what they mean.

Today's lesson is split into two learning cycles.

Our first learning cycle is called When might we need to say no? And our second learning cycle is called How can we say no with respect and kindness? Let's make a start on our first learning cycle, When might we need to say no? Sometimes a friend might ask us to do something that makes us feel happy or excited.

Izzy says, "Hey Sam! Do you want to play tag with me at lunchtime?" And Sam says, "Yes.

I love playing tag.

That sounds like great fun." Other times, a friend might ask us to do something that makes us feel uncomfortable.

Jun asks, "Hey Sam! Should we hide Izzy's pencil case from her? It'll be really funny." And Izzy says, "I'm not sure I want to do that, Jun.

That makes me feel uncomfortable." Our body can give us different signals that we are feeling uncomfortable.

Our tummy might feel funny, our heart might beat fast.

We might feel hot and sweaty, and we might have a lump in our throat.

We might also want to cry.

Everyone's body feels slightly different when we feel uncomfortable.

How does your body feel when you are uncomfortable? Pause the video, tell the person next to you, tell me or have a think to yourself.

Let's do a check for understanding to see how you're doing with this learning cycle so far.

How might Alex be feeling? Alex says, "When my friend asked me to do something, I felt sick and my heart beat faster.

I wanted to cry too." What do you think? How do you think Alex might be feeling? Pause the video, tell the person next to you, tell me, or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that Alex might be feeling uncomfortable.

We can see that Alex's body is giving him some signs that he feels uncomfortable.

Did you notice that he feels sick, his heart beat faster and he wanted to cry? These are all signs that Alex is feeling uncomfortable.

Well done if you said the same thing.

It's okay to say no to our friends if we feel uncomfortable.

We might want to say no to our friends if they're encouraging us to make an unkind choice.

Here, Laura is suggesting, "Let's leave Alex out of a game." But Jacob says, "That sounds unkind, Laura." Jacob is saying no to Laura because she's suggesting an unkind choice.

It would be unkind to leave Alex out of a game, so well done, Jacob, for saying no.

We might also need to say no if someone wants us to make an unsafe choice.

Here, Lucas says, "Let's cross the road.

The green person isn't showing, but it looks safe to cross." Aisha says, "That doesn't sound very safe, Lucas.

It would not be safe to cross the road unless the green person is showing on the traffic light." Aisha is making the right choice by saying no to Lucas.

We might also need to say no to respect our own boundaries.

Remember, our boundaries are imaginary lines that separate what we will and won't allow.

Sam says, "Can I give you a hug? I love giving my friends hugs.

It makes me feel so happy." But Aisha says, "I don't feel comfortable with this as this goes against one of my boundaries." It may be that Aisha has a boundary that she doesn't hug her friends.

Perhaps this makes her feel uncomfortable.

In this scenario, it's really important that Aisha says no to Sam, because otherwise, she'd be going against one of her boundaries.

Let's do a check for understanding to see how you're doing with this learning cycle.

For this task, can you decide if this sentence is true or false? Good friends always say "yes" to each other.

What do you think? Is this true or false? Pause the video, tell the person next to you, tell me or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that this is false.

But why? You might have said that it's okay to say no to our friends if we feel uncomfortable.

Sometimes our friends might ask us to do something unkind or unsafe, so it's important to be able to say no to our friends.

Well done if you said this or something similar.

It's time to move on to our first practise task and you've done a brilliant job, well done.

For the first part of this task, I'd like you to circle the scenarios where we might need to say no to a friend.

Here is a list of our scenarios: They make us feel happy.

They want to talk about how they feel.

They encourage us to call someone unkind names.

They encourage us to touch something that's really hot.

They want to help someone who's hurt themselves.

And they make us feel uncomfortable.

Can you circle the scenarios where we might need to say no to a friend? Pause the video and we'll go through the potential answers in a few minutes.

Okay.

Let's see which scenarios you might have circled.

The scenarios where we might need to say no to a friend is: a friend encouraging us to touch something that's really hot, a friend encouraging us to call someone unkind names, and a friend who makes us feel uncomfortable.

Well done if you circled these scenarios.

For the second part of this task, I'd like you to explain to your partner why you've circled these scenarios.

The first one has already been done for you.

So we could say no to a friend who makes us feel uncomfortable because we can always say no to a friend if they ask us to do something uncomfortable or if it goes against our boundaries.

Can you explain to your partner why you've circled the other two scenarios? Pause the video and we'll go through some potential answers in a few minutes.

For this scenario, they encouraged us to call someone unkind names.

You might have said: "I circled this scenario because we can say no if a friend asks us to make an unkind choice." And for this scenario, they encourage us to touch something that's really hot.

You might have said: "I circled this scenario because we can always say no to a friend if they ask us to make an unsafe choice." Well done if you said this or something similar.

We are now moving on to our second learning cycle, How can we say no with respect and kindness? If we say no, we can do so with respect and kindness.

Jun says, "Hey, Sam! Shall we hide Izzy's pencil case from her? It'll be really funny." Sam says, "No, that's an unkind thing to do.

It would hurt Izzy's feelings, so I'm not doing that." Here, Sam is saying no with respect and kindness.

It's especially important to say no if someone is asking us to make an unsafe choice.

Lucas says to Aisha, "Let's cross the road.

The green person isn't showing but it looks safe to cross." Aisha says, "no, it's not safe to cross until the green person shows.

I'm going to wait and you should too, Lucas." Here, Aisha has also said no with kindness and respect.

It's not rude to say no as long as we say no with respect and kindness.

Sam says to Aisha, "Can I give you a hug?" But Aisha says, "No thanks.

I don't like hugs as this goes against one of my boundaries, but we can high five instead." Aisha is saying no with respect and kindness because she says "no thanks," and she suggests a different idea.

We might choose to explain to someone our reasons for saying no because it can help them to understand us.

But we don't always need to tell someone why we're saying no.

There are lots of different ways that we can say no with respect and kindness.

We could say, "No thank you." "I'm good, thanks." "I'd rather not." "Thank you, but no.", or, "Can we do something else instead?" Let's do a check for understanding to see how you're doing with this learning cycle.

Does this conversation show someone saying no with respect and kindness? Here, someone says, "Do you want to come to my house after school?" And someone has replied saying, "No.

That sounds boring.

Why would I want to do that?" Does this conversation show someone saying no with respect and kindness? What do you think? Pause the video, tell the person next to you, tell me or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said no.

This conversation doesn't show someone saying no with respect and kindness.

Can you think, what could they say instead? Pause the video and have another think or tell the people around you.

You might have said that they could say instead: "They could say, 'No, thank you' or 'No thanks.

Why don't we do something else instead?'" This would be a way of saying no with respect and kindness.

Well done if you said this or something similar.

It's good to have healthy boundaries.

These help us feel safe and comfortable.

Aisha says, "I don't like hugs from people who are not my family." This is Aisha's boundary.

Jacob says, "I don't like people touching my hair." This is Jacob's boundary.

And Laura says, "I prefer to play quiet games without shouting." And this is Laura's boundary.

Good friends will always respect our boundaries and treat us with kindness when we say no.

Sam says, "Can I give you a hug?" And Aisha says, "No thanks.

I don't like hugs.

But we can high five instead." Sam is being a good friend because she's respecting Aisha's boundaries by saying, "that sounds great." When other people say no to us, it's also important to treat them with respect and kindness too.

Jun says, "Sometimes I feel sad when a friend says no to me, but I remember that it's important to be kind.

I take a deep breath and say, 'thank you for telling me,' and then we either do something different together or spend some time apart." Let's do another check for understanding.

This time, I'd like you to decide who is being a good friend.

Lucas says, "When my friends say no, I never pressure them to say yes.

Instead, I listen to them and respect their boundaries." But Sofia says, "When my friends say no, I get upset if they don't tell me why they've said it.

I encourage them to say yes, especially if I know that they'll have fun." Can you decide who's being a good friend? Pause the video, tell the person next to you, tell me or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that Lucas is being a good friend.

Lucas is being a good friend because he's not pressuring his friends to say yes when they say no.

Instead, he's just listening to his friends and respecting their boundaries.

Sofia isn't being a very good friend because she gets upset if her friends don't tell her why they've said no, and she also encourages them to say yes, even if they've said no.

This would not be being a good friend.

It's really important that we listen to our friends and that we respect them when they say no.

It's important to respect our friends' boundaries, and it's important to always treat our friends with kindness and respect.

Well done if you said the same thing.

It is time to move on to our next practise task.

For the first part of this task, I'd like you to decide what could Alex say to Jacob so that he's saying no with respect and kindness? In this scenario, Jacob says, "Hey, Alex, do you want to be in my team for PE? It'll be fun being on the same team." Can you decide how Alex is going to say no with respect and kindness? Pause the video and we'll go through some potential answers in a few minutes.

Okay, let's see what you might have said.

Alex might say no with kindness and respect by saying, "No thank you, Jacob.

Thank you for asking me though.

Can we play together at break time instead?" Alex is being kind because he says "no thank you," and he's also offering to do something different.

He's offering to play together at break time instead.

Well done, Alex, and well done if you said something similar.

For the next part of this task, I'd like you to decide what could Laura say in response to Sofia so that she's also being respectful and kind.

In this scenario, Laura says, "Sofia, do you want to come over to my house tonight after school?" And Sofia says, "No, thank you, Laura.

My mum likes to meet other people's parents or carers before I go to their house for the first time.

Once she's met your parents, then we can do it." What could Laura say in response to Sofia so that she's being respectful and kind? Pause the video and we'll go through some potential answers in a few minutes.

Let's see what your answer could have said.

Your answer could include Laura saying, "Okay, no worries, Sofia, I understand.

I respect your boundaries." This is a good way of how Laura could respond to Sofia so that she's being respectful and kind.

Well done if you had this or something similar.

We are now going to summarise the key things that we've learned in today's lesson.

In today's lesson, we've learned that sometimes friends ask us to do something unkind or unsafe, and this can make us feel uncomfortable.

We've learned that we can also feel uncomfortable if a friend asks us to do something that goes against our boundaries.

It's okay to say no to our friends if we feel uncomfortable.

It can be helpful to explain our reasons why we're saying no, but we don't always have to.

We can say no with kindness and respect.

Healthy boundaries are good because they can help us to feel safe and comfortable.

And finally, good friends will always respect our boundaries.

In today's lesson, you might have found that you've got some worries or some questions.

If you do, it's really important that you share how you feel with a trusted adult.

There's also some resources on the screen that are there to help you too.

Well done for your fantastic hard work in today's lesson.

I'm really proud of you and I hope to see you in another lesson soon.