Lesson video

Hello.

My name's Miss Willow, and I'm going to be your teacher for today's lesson.

Today's lesson is called Understanding My Boundaries and it fits into the unit, Power in Relationships.

What are my boundaries? During this lesson, we are going to be talking about some upsetting content, so we recommend that you have an adult with you for the duration of this lesson.

If at any point you do feel worried or uncomfortable, it's really important that you close the screen and that you go and speak to a trusted adult.

Okay.

Let's make a start on today's learning.

By the end of today's lesson, you'll be able to explain how to give or take back consent.

Before we get started with today's lesson, we need to go over some ground rules.

These help to make sure that everyone feels safe and comfortable during today's lesson.

Laura tells us that we need to listen to others.

This means that if someone else is speaking, we are not going to interrupt them.

Next, Andeep says that we need to respect each other's privacy.

This means that we're not going to ask anyone any personal questions as this can make some people feel uncomfortable.

Next, Jacob says that we need to not have any judgement.

This means that if someone chooses to share a story, feeling or an experience, we are not going to judge them for it.

And finally, Izzy says that we can choose our level of participation.

This means it's up to us how much we want to join in.

We're now going to go through the key words for today's lesson.

These are gonna pop up quite a few times in today's lesson, so it's important that we have a good understanding of what each of these words mean.

First of all, we have the word consent.

This means permission to do something.

Next, we have the word verbally.

This means talking by using words that come out of your mouth, like saying, hello, or asking, how are you? Next, we have non-verbally.

This means talking without using words like waving, hello, pointing at things or making faces.

And finally, we have body language.

This means using our faces and bodies to show how we feel or think.

As we go through today's lesson, keep an eye out for these key words and when you spot them, see if you can remember what they mean.

Today's lesson is split into two learning cycles.

Our first learning cycle is called, When do we need to get consent? And our second learning cycle is called, How can you respect someone's wishes? Let's make a start on our first learning cycle.

When do we need to get consent? Consent means giving permission to someone else to do something.

It's important to gain consent before we do something to someone else so that everyone feels safe and respected.

We can ask for consent and we can give consent to others.

When might we need to ask for consent? Maybe you want to have a think about this question or talk to the people around you.

We should ask for consent before touching other people.

Well done if this was one of the answers that you came up with.

This includes hugging our friends or when we're older if we want to hold hands or kiss our romantic partner.

Some people may not feel comfortable with being touched and that's okay.

We should also ask for consent before we share someone else's private information.

Private information includes someone's name, their age, their date of birth, their address, which means where they live or their school name.

It could also include their phone number if they have one.

Ms. Walsh reminds us that we should never share our personal information or someone else's personal information online.

Once something is shared online, it can be very difficult to delete.

Let's do a check for understanding to see how you're doing with this learning cycle so far.

Why is it important to ask for consent before we share photos and videos of other people? Explain your ideas to your partner.

Pause the video and we'll go through some answers in a minute.

You might have said that once something is shared, especially online, it can be hard to take back or to delete.

Asking for consent first helps to protect people's privacy and their feelings too.

Well done if you and your partner said something like this.

Consent can be given verbally.

So this means that we use our words to say whether we give consent to someone or not.

We might say something like, "Is it okay if I give you a hug?" "No, I don't like being touched.

Sorry." "Can I show my friend the selfie that we took together?" "Yes, that's fine with me." These are both examples of someone giving consent and not giving consent verbally so with their words.

Consent can also be given non-verbally.

This means that we use our body language to show whether we give consent to someone or not.

Jacob says, "Sometimes I nod my head and smile to give consent." Even if Jacob isn't saying anything, his body language, so nodding his head and smiling, suggests that he does give consent.

Izzy says, "When someone asks for a hug, I open my arms to show that I'm giving consent." And Laura says, "I hold my hand out to show that I'm giving consent to a high five." Let's do another check for understanding to see how you're doing.

Can you match the term with the correct example? The first term is non-verbal consent, and the second term is verbal consent, and these are our examples, using our body language like nodding and smiling and using our words like saying yes or it's okay.

Which of these examples is nonverbal consent and which of these examples is verbal consent? Pause the video, talk to the people around you or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that using our body language like nodding and smiling is an example of nonverbal consent and that using our words like saying yes or it's okay, are examples of verbal consent.

Well done if you got this right.

If someone looks uncomfortable, stays quiet, or moves away from us, that usually means that they don't give consent to us even if they didn't say it out loud.

Ms. Walsh says that sometimes it can be tricky to know whether someone has given consent non-verbally.

If you are unsure if someone has given consent, it's important to always ask and double check before you do something, for example, before you give someone a hug, let's do another check for understanding.

Sophia has asked Jack for consent to hold his hand.

He does consent to this.

How could Jack respond? Pause the video, talk to the people around you or have a think to yourself.

You might have said that Jack could give consent verbally by saying, "Yes, that's fine.

I'm happy with holding hands." Jack could also give consent non-verbally by putting his hand out for Sophia to hold.

Well done of your answers for something like this.

Now we're going to look at the same situation, but this time Jack doesn't want to consent to Sophia holding his hand.

How could Jack respond if he doesn't want to give consent to Sophia holding his hand? Talk to the people around you or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that, Jack could say, "No thank you.

I don't want to hold hands." Or he could use his body language to show this.

He could shake his head and move away.

This would show to Sophia that he does not give consent.

Well done if your answers were anything like this.

We are now moving on to our first practise task.

Well done.

For your hard work so far.

I'd like you to write a scenario to show when we need to ask for consent from others.

In your scenario, I'd like you to include what the person might say to ask for consent and how others could show whether they give consent or not.

Pause the video and we'll go through some potential answers in a few minutes.

Okay, let's see what you might have said.

Your scenario could look a little bit like this.

Lila took a fun group photo at a party over the weekend and wants to post it on her private social media account.

She asked her friend, "Is it okay to upload this photo online?" Her friends give consent non-verbally by smiling and nodding their heads.

An alternative scenario could look like this.

Julian sees friend Leo looking upset after a tough football match.

Julian asked Leo, is it all right if I give you a hug? Leo does not give consent to Julian.

He does this verbally.

He says, "No thank you, but I would like it if we could just sit here together until I cheer up." Well done if your scenarios looked anything like this.

We are now moving on to our second learning cycle.

How can you respect someone's wishes? If someone doesn't give consent to something, we must always listen to them.

Everyone has the right to decide what they're comfortable with, especially when it comes to their body, their feelings, or what is shared about them.

If someone doesn't give consent to something, their decision should be accepted without pressure, teasing or trying to change their mind.

Someone might say, "Can I try on your new coat?" And someone could respond.

"I don't really want anyone else to try it on because it's new." This person is accepting that the other person doesn't give consent because they've said, "No worries.

I understand." Let's do a check for understanding.

What should we do if someone doesn't give us consent to do something? Should we a, pressure them to change their mind, b, tease or make fun of them, or c, listen and accept their decision? Pause the video, talk to the people around you or have a think to yourself.

well done if you said that we should listen and accept their decision.

If someone doesn't give us consent to do something, it's not okay to pressure them to change their mind or to tease or to make fun of them.

Instead, we should listen and accept their decision.

Well done if you got this right.

Power is an important part of understanding consent.

Sometimes one person might feel like they can't say no.

Maybe because the other person is older, louder, more popular, or just has more power in the situation.

We can keep the power balanced by understanding how someone else feels.

This makes sure that both people in a friendship or relationship feel safe, respected, and confident enough to say no if they're uncomfortable with something or if they don't feel safe.

We can understand someone's emotions by noticing how they feel, reading their body language, checking in by asking, "Is this okay?" or listening when they say no or stop.

Let's do another check for understanding.

Why is it important that the power is balanced between two people? Pause the video, talk to the people around you or have a think to yourself.

You might have said something like, when the power is balanced between two people, it helps everyone feel safe, respected, and confident enough to say no or to stop if they're uncomfortable with something or if they don't feel safe.

Well done If you said this or something similar.

It's important to know that it's always okay to change your mind after you've given consent.

Ms. Wash says that, "Just because you said yes to something at first, it doesn't mean you have to stick with that decision if you start to feel uncomfortable or unsure.

Your feelings matter and you're always allowed to say no even if you've said yes or agreed before." Laura wants to share her story.

She says, "I agree to play a game with my friends.

However, during the game, I felt uncomfortable and I decided that I wanted to stop.

My friends listened to me and we played something else instead." Changing your mind is not being rude or unfair.

This is the same for if we give consent and then decide that actually, we want to take that consent away.

It's all about knowing your boundaries and keeping yourself safe and happy, and this is really important.

Ms. Walsh says that, "If someone doesn't listen when you've said no or to stop, it's important to speak to a trusted adult.

Trusted adults include parents, carers and teachers," or another adult that you know offline that you trust.

If the first adult that you tell doesn't listen or help, and you feel like they don't take you seriously, it's important to keep telling other adults until you are heard and believed.

Let's do another check for understanding.

I'd like you to decide if this statement is true or false, it's okay to change your mind once you've given consent.

Pause the video, talk to the people around you or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that this is true.

It is true that it's okay to change your mind once you've given consent.

Even if we've given consent to something before, we don't have to give consent again, and even if we have given consent at any stage, we can always say no or to stop.

A kind person and a good friend will always listen and respect us if we do change our mind about giving consent.

Well done if you said the same thing.

We are now moving on to our final practise task.

Well done for your brilliant hard work so far.

I'd like you to read the scenario below.

I'd like you to highlight what the person did wrong and then I'd like you to write two to three sentences that explain what they should have done instead.

Here's our scenario.

"I took a funny video of my friend falling off their chair at lunch.

I asked if I could share it online and they said 'No.

' I posted it anyway because I thought it would make people laugh." Can you highlight what this person did wrong and then write a few sentences to explain what they should have done instead? Pause the video and we'll go through what you might have said in a few minutes.

For the first part of this task, you should have highlighted, "I posted it anyway." This is where this person went wrong in this scenario.

For the second part of this task, your answer could look like this.

The person should have listened when their friend said no and they should not have shared the video even though they thought it was funny.

It's important to respect other people's feelings and their right to say, no.

This person should only have shared the video if their friend had given consent.

Well done if your answer looked anything like this.

We are now going to summarise the key learning from today's lesson.

In today's lesson, we've learned that consent means giving permission to someone else to do something.

We should always ask for consent before touching someone else, before sharing photos and videos of others in person and online and before sharing personal information with others.

So for example, this could be their name, age, address, or where they go to school.

We can give consent verbally, which means with our words or non-verbally by using our body language.

This is things like smiling or nodding or shaking our head.

If someone looks uncomfortable or moves away from us, this usually means that they don't give consent, even if they've not said this out loud.

They're using their body language to say that they don't give consent.

We should always listen to someone if they say no or to stop without pressuring this person to change their mind.

It's always okay to change our mind after giving consent.

And kind people will respect our boundaries and listen, when we say no.

During this lesson, we've talked about some tricky topics and you might have found that you've got some questions or some worries.

If you do, it's really important that you share these with a trusted adult.

There's also some resources on the screen that are there to help you too.

Well done for your hard work in today's lesson.

I'm really proud of you and I hope to see you in another lesson soon.