Lesson video

Hello, my name's Ms. Willow.

And I'm going to be your teacher for today's lesson.

Today's lesson is called Grieving Processes, and it fits into the unit Healthy Relationships: How Does Separation and Change Affect Relationships? During this lesson, we are going to be talking about mental health and sensitive content.

So for this lesson, we require you to have an adult with you.

If you don't have an adult with you at the moment, it's important to stop this lesson and come back to it when you have an adult with you.

Okay, let's make a start on today's lesson.

By the end of today's lesson, you'll be able to explain some common processes of grief and how you can get support.

Before we get started with today's lesson, we need to go over some ground rules.

These help to make sure that everyone feels safe and comfortable during today's lesson.

First of all, Laura says that, "We need to listen to others.

It's okay to disagree with each other, but we should always listen properly before we make any assumptions or before we decide how to respond to someone else.

When we disagree with someone, it's important to challenge the statement and not the person themselves." Next, Andeep says that, "We need to respect each other's privacy.

We can discuss examples, but we shouldn't use any names or descriptions that identify anyone, including ourselves." If you want to share a story, we can refer to someone as my friend.

This means that we're not going to give away any identifying information.

Next, Jacob says, "No judgment.

We can explore beliefs and misunderstandings about a topic without fear of being judged by others." And finally, Izzy says that, "We can choose our level of participation.

Everyone has the right to choose not to answer a question or to join in with discussion.

We should never put anyone on the spot." We're now going to go through the keywords for today's lesson.

Our first keyword is bereavement.

This is the experience of losing a person that's important and significant to us.

And next, we have grief.

This is a physical and emotional response to a loss or bereavement.

Today's lesson is split into two learning cycles.

Our first learning cycle is called How Do People Move Through Grief? And our second learning cycle is called What Helps People Cope With Loss? Let's make a start on our first learning cycle, How Do People Move Through Grief? Bereavement is the loss of someone important to us.

Social worker Natalie explains that, "At some point in our lives, we will all go through a bereavement.

When we lose someone significant, it can cause us to feel a range of emotions called grief.

Both bereavement and grief affect people in different and personal ways." Bereavement isn't just limited to the death of a loved one.

Social worker Natalie explains that, "Bereavement can also be caused by the loss of a relationship, for instance, because it's come to an end, or that someone's moved away.

Seeing a person that you care about decline in their physical or mental health can also cause bereavement, for example, seeing an elderly grandparent suffer with dementia." This is a condition where someone can struggle with their memory.

There are a wide range of emotions that people might experience during a bereavement.

They might experience sadness, exhaustion, anger, loneliness, guilt, numbness, confusion, or shock.

It's also normal for people to feel lots of different emotions, and lots of different emotions at the same time too.

Let's do a check for understanding to see how you're doing.

I'd like you to decide if the statement is true or false.

Bereavement only refers to the loss of a loved one through death.

What do you think? Is this true or false? Pause the video, talk to the people around you, or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that this is false.

But why? Well done if you said, "Bereavement isn't just limited to the death of a loved one.

It can also be caused by relationship loss or the decline in health of someone that you care about." Well done if you said the same thing.

Grief is not a linear process.

Dr.

Elsie explains that, "This means that although people refer to the five stages of grief, an individual doesn't necessarily experience these stages one at a time or in a particular order.

Some people may not experience any of the five stages, whilst others may experience all of them at once." Remember that everyone experiences grief differently, and there's no wrong way to experience grief.

We're going to take a look at what the five stages of grief are, as it can be helpful to understand what someone can experience if they're grieving.

First of all, they can experience denial.

They can also experience anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

As we've said before, some people might experience these stages all in order.

Some people might experience them at the same time, in a different order, or people might not experience these stages at all.

First of all, we're going to take a look at denial.

This is when a person might struggle to make sense of what's happened or refuse to believe that it's real.

Lucas wants to share his experience.

He says, "Immediately after my granddad died, I refused to accept that it was true.

I was really confused because I thought the doctors had said that the medication would help him.

I just couldn't believe or understand what was going on." Next, we're gonna take a look at anger.

This is when someone might feel resentful and place blame on themselves or others for what's happened.

Lucas goes on to explain, "I remember feeling angry towards the doctors.

I kept thinking if they'd given him a different medication, Granddad might have gotten better.

I also felt really frustrated towards my parents for not telling Granddad to go to the GP sooner." Next, we're going to talk about bargaining.

During grief, it can be difficult to accept that there's nothing we can do.

We might begin to wish for a different outcome, which can lead to a feeling of guilt or questioning the past.

Lucas tells us, "I remember thinking, 'If only I'd spent more time with Granddad when he was here.

' I just kept replaying every missed opportunity and questioning whether Granddad understood how important he was to me." Now, we're gonna talk about depression.

This is a feeling of intense sadness after a loss, and losing sight of meaning in other aspects of life.

Luca says that, "A while after his death, I just remember being sat in a lesson at school thinking, 'What's the point of learning this?' I lost touch with friends, and I didn't look forward to things that I used to enjoy." Now, we're going to talk about acceptance.

And this stage is about beginning to come to terms with a loss, accepting it and taking steps towards a new normal.

However, it's important to remember that just because someone is going through the stage of acceptance, or they're feeling these things, it doesn't mean that they're not grieving anymore.

Lucas says that, "After seeing a grief counselor, I started to come to terms with losing Granddad.

I still miss him every day, and some days are harder than others, but I can focus at school again, and I've started to look forward to things." Let's do a check for understanding to see how you're doing.

Which the following are some of the five stages of grief, can you remember, A, denial, B, anger, C, bickering, or D, bargaining? Which of those are some of the five stages of grief? Pause the video, talk to the people around you, or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that A, B, and D are some of the five stages of grief, denial, anger, and bargaining.

Well done if you remembered this.

We're now moving on to our first practice task.

And well done for your hard work so far.

I'd like you to read Megan's account, and I'd like you to decide which of the five phases of grief do you think she's experiencing.

Megan says, "When my parents told me that they were separating, I was really resentful towards them.

I felt like they hadn't considered me or my siblings, and they were only thinking about themselves.

I started to think perhaps they might get together at Christmas." Which of the five phases of grief do you think that Megan's experiencing? Pause the video, and we'll go through what you might have said in a few minutes.

Okay, let's see what you might have said.

You might have said that, "Megan is experiencing anger, and she's experiencing bargaining.

We know that Megan's experiencing anger because she says that she was really resentful towards her parents, and that she felt that they hadn't considered her or her siblings.

But we also know that Megan's experiencing bargaining because she says that she started to think that perhaps her parents might get back together at Christmas." Well done if you said the same thing.

We're now moving on to our final learning cycle, What Helps People Cope With Loss? There's no right or wrong way to cope with bereavement or express grief, nor is there a set time limit that someone should grieve for.

Dr.

Elsie explains that, "Dealing with the loss of a loved one is incredibly difficult and painful.

Understandably, it can take considerable time to process your thoughts and feelings.

This is why it's really important to be kind to yourself if you're grieving, and to take one day at a time." Let's do a check for understanding.

And this time, I'd like you to decide if the statement is true or false.

People should be able to come to terms with a bereavement or grief within a few months.

What do you think? Is this true or false? Pause the video, talk to the people around you, or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that this is false.

But why? You might have said that, "There's no set time limit to come to terms with bereavement or grief, and it can take considerable time to process your thoughts and feelings.

Remember that everyone is different and experiences grief in a different way, and for different lengths of time." Well done if you said the same thing.

One way that people can cope with loss is by connecting with family or friends.

Sharing how you feel can be a helpful way to begin to process grief and loss.

Sophia says that, "After my mom died, I used to visit my auntie several times a week.

Sometimes I wouldn't say much to her, but just crying together made me feel less alone." Jack says that, "When my gran had dementia, I talked to a friend of mine who was in a similar situation.

She could understand how I was feeling because she'd felt exactly the same way." People can also cope with loss by seeking professional support.

If grief becomes overwhelming, prolonged, or you feel like you can't cope with day-to-day life, it might be helpful to seek professional support.

Talking to a trained bereavement or grief counselor can help to acknowledge your grief, to identify and validate your emotions, and explore ways to move forwards.

People can also cope with loss by prioritizing their well-being.

It's easy to neglect your well-being when you're going through a bereavement or when you're grieving.

However, a few small changes can really help.

So for example, getting enough sleep.

A lack of sleep can make it harder to regulate our emotions.

It's important to try to get plenty of good-quality sleep by going to bed early and using relaxation techniques, for example, deep breathing or mindfulness.

It's also really important to eat healthily.

It's normal for appetite to change during grief, but what we do or don't eat can impact how we feel.

Wherever possible, try to eat healthy snacks and foods, and drink plenty of water.

It's also important to talk about alcohol and drug use when someone is grieving.

Some people might use alcohol or drugs to try to block painful feelings during grief, but this doesn't help in the long term, and it can actually make things harder to cope with.

It's also important to monitor your triggers.

So keeping a journal or diary can help us to spot patterns in our feelings and identify triggers.

These might be things that make us feel upset, so for instance, we might discover that a particular song or going to a particular place evokes strong memories or emotions.

It's important to remember that grief is like an ocean.

Some days, the waters are calm.

Other days, the waves crash over us.

There will be good days and bad.

It's finding what works best for you and getting the right support too.

Let's do another check for understanding to see how you're doing.

What three things can help a person to process grief, can you remember? Pause the video, talk to the people around you, or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that connecting with family or friends, seeking professional support, and prioritizing our well-being can help a person to process grief.

It's normal to feel ups and downs, even years after a bereavement has occurred.

Grief doesn't just disappear, but life can grow around it.

When a bereavement has just happened, we might feel like the grief is bigger than our life itself.

But as time passes, our life continues to grow.

The grief itself doesn't get any smaller, but our life does grow around it.

In time, people may feel ready to move forward with their grief in lots of different ways, such as sharing cherished memories by talking about loved ones, creating a legacy, so for instance, fundraising for a hospice that took care of them, using creativity, like art or photography, to express feelings about them, doing things in their honor, for instance, visiting places that they wanted to go, or taking up a hobby that they were interested in.

Lucas says, "My granddad used to love Christmas.

It was his favorite time of the year.

We still celebrate with all the traditions that he used to enjoy.

We also get out the old photograph albums to share stories and memories of him too." Heidi says that, "My friends and I recently did a sponsored bike ride to raise money for a charity in honor of my brother.

He died from a serious illness, and the money raised will support other families going through what we did." The ongoing support of others can help us through bereavement and grief.

Social worker Natalie explains that, "No one should have to cope with bereavement or grief alone.

The support of others can help us to come to terms with a loss.

If you're worried about yourself or anyone else that's dealing with grief, you can talk to a trusted adult, such as a parent, carer, or a member of staff at school, for example, a teacher or a teaching assistant, or someone else at school that you trust." Let's do another check for understanding.

And this time, I'd like you to decide which of the following might be ways to move forwards with grief, A, abusing alcohol or drug misuse, B, talking about it and sharing memories of loved ones, C, visiting places that loved ones wanted to see, or D, fundraising for charities associated with loved ones? Which of those might be ways to move forwards with grief? Pause the video, talk to the people around you, or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that B, C, and D are correct.

Some ways to move forwards with grief are talking about and sharing memories of loved ones, visiting places that loved ones wanted to see, and fundraising for charities associated with loved ones.

It would not be a healthy way to move forward with grief by abusing alcohol or drug misuse.

If someone is experiencing this, they need to get professional support.

It's now time to move on to our final practice task.

And well done for your hard work in this lesson.

For this task, I'd like you to write two to three paragraphs to explain the different ways that people use to cope with loss.

In your answer, I'd like you to consider the following, the importance of connecting with family and friends, professional support, and prioritizing well-being, how to move forwards with grief.

And I'd like you to answer the question, does grief disappear? Pause the video, and we'll go through some model answers in a few minutes.

Okay, let's see what you might have said.

You might have said that, "Dealing with the loss of a loved one is difficult and painful.

There are a few ways that people use to cope with loss.

Connecting with family and friends to share feelings can help someone to begin to process grief and loss.

If grief becomes overwhelming or prolonged, it might be helpful to seek professional support.

Talking to a trained bereavement or grief counselor can help a person to acknowledge their grief, validate their emotions, and explore ways to move forwards." You might have also said that, "It's common for people to neglect their well-being when experiencing bereavement, but small changes can make a difference.

Getting plenty of sleep and eating a healthy diet can help to improve overall well-being.

Some individuals may turn to alcohol or drugs during grief to try to numb their feelings, but this isn't healthy.

This often makes things worse, and it should be avoided as a coping mechanism.

Keeping a journal or diary can help to identify patterns and emotions, and recognize triggers." You also might have said that, "Over time, people may find ways to move forward with their grief, such as sharing cherished memories or doing something meaningful in honor of a loved one.

Grief doesn't simply disappear, but life can grow around it, and it's normal to experience emotional ups and downs, even years after a loss." Well done if your answers were anything like this or had some similar ideas.

We're now going to summarize the key learning from today's lesson.

In today's lesson, we've learned that bereavement is the loss of someone important to us.

We've learned that when we go through bereavement, it can cause us to feel a range of emotions called grief.

Both bereavement and grief can affect people in different and personal ways.

The five stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

But grief is not linear.

Some people may not experience any of these five stages, whilst others may experience them in order, or all at once, or in a different order.

Connecting with family and friends, seeking professional support, and prioritizing our well-being can all help us to cope with grief if we're experiencing it.

And it's important to remember that grief doesn't just disappear, but life can grow around it, and it's normal to feel ups and downs, even years after bereavement.

During this lesson, you might have found that you've got some worries or questions.

And if you do, it's really important that you share these with a trusted adult.

There's also some resources on the screen that are there to help you too.

Well done for your hard work today.

I hope to see you again soon.