Lesson video

Hello, my name's Miss Willow, and I'm going to be your teacher for today's lesson.

Today's lesson is called healthy relationships, and it fits into the unit, power in relationships.

What does a healthy relationship feel like? During today's lesson, we are going to be talking about peer pressure and some sensitive content, so for this lesson, we recommend you have an adult with you.

If at any point you do feel worried or uncomfortable, it's important that you stop the video and that you speak to an adult that you trust.

Okay, let's make a start on today's lesson.

By the end of today's lesson, you'll be able to describe aspects of healthy long-term relationships.

Before we get going with today's lesson, we need to go over some ground rules.

This helps make sure that everyone feels safe and comfortable during today's lesson.

First of all, Laura says that, "We need to listen to others.

It's okay to disagree with each other, but we should always listen properly before we make any assumptions or before we decide how to respond.

When we disagree with someone else, it's important to challenge the statement and not the person themselves." Next, Andeep says that, "We need to respect each other's privacy, so it's okay to discuss examples, but we shouldn't use any names or descriptions that could identify anyone, including ourselves." If you want to share a story, we can refer to someone as, "My friend." This means that we're not going to give away any identifying information.

Next, Jacob says, "No judgment.

We can explore any beliefs or misunderstandings about a topic without fear of being judged by others." And finally, Izzy says that, "We can choose our level of participation.

Everyone has the right to choose not to answer a question or to join in with discussion if they don't feel comfortable.

We should never put anyone on the spot." We're now going to take a look at the keywords for today's lesson.

Our first keyword is communication.

Communication is the exchange of words, either verbal or written, to express thoughts, feelings, and ideas.

Next, we have respect.

This is being considerate of others and the world around you, so treating people fairly and how you would like to be treated.

Next, we have boundary.

This is an imaginary line separating what we will and won't allow.

Our next key word is conflict resolution.

This is ways to solve disagreements or fights peacefully, by talking, listening, and finding solutions that work for everyone involved.

And finally, we have emotional intelligence.

This is being aware of your own feelings and understanding how others feel.

Then using this knowledge to handle situations better.

Today's lesson is split into three learning cycles.

Our first learning cycle is called, what is a healthy long-term relationship like? Our second learning cycle is called, why are communication and respect important? And our last learning cycle is called, how can we resolve conflict in a healthy manner? Let's make a start on our first learning cycle.

What is a healthy long-term relationship like? We may have long-term relationships in our life with lots of different people, including our family, friends, or romantic partners.

Aisha says that, "No matter who the relationship is with, long-term relationships take time, effort, and commitment in order for them to be, and remain, healthy." Long-term healthy relationships should make us feel good.

Even during conflict, difficult times or change, we should always feel safe, respected, and supported.

We should also feel that we're able to be ourselves.

Andeep says that, "If a relationship often makes you feel upset, anxious, or worried to be yourself, then it may not be a healthy relationship." Let's do a check for understanding to see how you're doing so far.

I'd like you to decide if the statement is true or false.

Healthy relationships only feel good when things are good.

What do you think? Is this true or false? Pause the video, talk to the people around you or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that this is false, but why? You might have said that even during difficult times, conflict or change, a healthy relationship should always make us feel safe, respected, and supported, even during a period of difficulty or change.

One way in which a long-term relationship can be positive is through open and honest communication.

Izzy's mum says that, "Communication is important because it allows you to openly discuss your thoughts and feelings with the other person.

I know that when I talk to my husband about things that are worrying or concerning me, he'll listen to me without judgment and I do the same for him." This is an example of what open and honest communication should look like in a healthy relationship.

In healthy relationships, power is shared fairly.

Alex's dad says, "With friends and romantic partners, decisions should be equal.

No one person controls everything.

Parents, carers and teachers have more authority whilst we're young, which is normal and healthy.

However, no one should use their power to hurt or control us." Healthy relationships grow with us, so they might change over time.

Alex's mum says that, "As we get older, our interests, goals, and personality change.

Our long-term relationships should grow alongside us.

People in healthy relationships celebrate each other's successes and they support each other when things go wrong." Let's do another check for understanding to see how you are doing.

Can you finish this sentence? Long-term relationships should A, stay the same forever.

B, grow alongside us.

C, always have equal power dynamics.

Or D, help us to develop into who we want to be.

Can you finish the end of that sentence? Pause the video, talk to the people around you, or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that B and D are correct.

Long-term relationships should grow alongside us and help us to develop into who we want to be.

Remember that whilst power should be shared equally between two people, it's also important to remember that when we're younger, our trusted adults do have more authority, and this is healthy and okay, as long as this isn't used to control or hurt us.

Well done if you said the same thing.

Healthy long-term relationships should respect our independence, and our independence is our ability to make our own decisions and to be ourselves.

Izzy's dad says that, "In a healthy long-term relationship, we should respect each other's individuality.

This means that we can have our own interests and goals too, whilst allowing the other person to have theirs as well.

Being in a relationship doesn't mean doing everything together." And it doesn't mean being the exact same either.

Healthy long-term relationships also involve respect for personal boundaries.

Izzy's dad says that, "This means accepting what the other person will or won't allow, without judgment or applying pressure to change their mind.

When our boundaries are respected, it allows us to feel safe, secure and valued." Healthy relationships should also bring us joy and companionship.

Alex's granddad says that, "We should enjoy being with the other person and they should make our lives better than if they weren't in it.

We should make positive memories together and feel fulfilled by our interactions." This means that we come away feeling better for having had them.

Long-term healthy relationships should be built on mutual trust and respect.

We should feel that we can rely on the other person, and that they have our best interests at heart.

Laura says that, "The people in our lives should be the ones that we can depend on to do what they say.

So for example, we should trust the advice that they're giving us.

They should make us feel safe, loved, and supported too." Let's do another check for understanding to see how you're doing.

I'd like you to decide if this statement is true or false.

In a healthy relationship, there should be regular joy.

What do you think this? Is this true or false? Pause the video, talk to the people around you, or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that this is true.

In a healthy relationship, there should be regular joy.

They should make us happy, and we should feel fulfilled after the interactions with that person.

Well done if you said the same thing.

It's now time to put your learning from this learning cycle into practice, and I'd like you to fill in the blanks using the word bank below.

I'm going to read out the paragraph and where I say the word, blank, this means that there is a missing word that needs to go in there.

Then we'll take a look at the word bank below.

Long-term healthy relationships should be built on blank and blank.

There should be open and honest blank, where we are able to express our thoughts and feelings to the other person without blank.

There should also be healthy power blank, where one person is not in control of everything.

We should also have healthy blank, and we should be able to be ourselves and pursue our own blank.

As we grow, our relationship should grow with us.

Our relationships should bring us blank, and the relationship should make us feel safe, loved, and blank.

Now let's take a look at the words in our word bank.

Care, dynamics, supported, healthy, trust, boundaries, respect, joy, judgment, interest, control, and communication.

Can you fill in the blanks in that paragraph with the words in our word bank? Pause the video and we'll go through the completed paragraph in a few minutes.

Okay, let's take a look at our completed paragraph.

Your completed paragraph should look like this.

Long-term healthy relationships should be built on trust and respect.

There should be open and honest communication, where we're able to express our thoughts and feelings to the other person without judgment.

There should also be healthy power dynamics, where one person is not in control of everything.

We should also have healthy boundaries, and we should be able to be ourselves and pursue our own interests.

As we grow, our relationship should grow with us.

Our relationships should bring us joy, and the relationship should make us feel safe, loved, and supported.

Well done if you spotted that the words, care, healthy and control weren't needed in our paragraph.

It's now time to move on to our second learning cycle.

Why are communication and respect important? Two of the most important parts of any healthy long-term relationship are communication and respect.

Communication helps us to understand each other and to solve problems. Communication lets us share our thoughts and feelings with others, and when people understand each other through good communication, they feel safer and happier in the relationship.

This is because you don't have to guess what the other person is thinking or feeling, making it easier to support them.

Communication can solve any problems and avoid misunderstandings.

No one is perfect, and every relationship can face its problems. The best way to deal with them is to openly communicate concerns.

Just because a relationship is experiencing some problems, it doesn't always mean that it's unhealthy.

Communication allows us to clarify things and address concerns that other people might have.

If we bottle up our emotions, say for example, by not sharing them with others, it can cause tension and resentment, especially in a relationship.

Communication builds trust and understanding, and it helps us to see another person's viewpoint, which can help us to empathize with them.

This should always go both ways.

If someone explains how they feel, we should listen to them without judgment, and show appreciation for their openness.

It can be quite tricky to share our emotions, so it's really important that we show appreciation when people share their feelings with us.

Let's do a check for understanding to see how you're doing.

How have Lucas and Alex avoided a misunderstanding? Lucas says, "Why didn't you reply to my message last night? I really needed your help and I felt a bit ignored." Alex says, "I didn't mean to ignore you, Lucas.

I was so tired when you messaged and I meant to reply this morning.

I'm sorry if I upset you." So how have Lucas and Alex in this scenario avoided a misunderstanding? Pause the video, talk to the people around you or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said something like, Lucas has communicated how he felt, and Alex has shown understanding towards Lucas by acknowledging his feelings or feeling ignored and hurt.

Alex has explained the situation to Lucas so that he knows that he wasn't ignoring him.

Well done if your answer was something like this.

There are healthy and unhealthy ways to communicate.

Healthy communication means listening to the other person, calmly expressing your feelings, using "I" statements and avoiding placing the blame.

When we use "I" statements, we talk about how we feel, not what the other person has done.

You should also respect the other person's feelings and their personal boundaries too.

Unhealthy communication means ignoring or interrupting the other person, placing blame and using hurtful words or shouting.

It can also mean avoiding difficult conversations or issues.

Let's do another check for understanding.

Who is communicating in a healthy way? Izzy says, "It's all your fault! You are being really stupid.

I don't care what you have to say about it." Laura says, "I feel like we don't hang out as much as we used to.

I know you're busy, but I want us to make more time for each other.

What do you think?" Who do you think is communicating in a healthy way? Izzy or Laura? Pause the video, talk to the people around you, or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that Laura is the one that's communicating in a healthy way.

She isn't placing blame on Izzy and she's using "I" statements, like "I feel" and "I know" and "I want us," to express her feelings.

She's also showing respect by asking Izzy what she thinks about the situation.

Well done if you said the same thing.

In order for us to communicate effectively, we need respect.

Respect should be mutual, so everyone in the relationship shows equal respect to each other.

Jun says that, "Without respect, relationships can become hurtful and even unsafe.

We may feel unvalued or that one person has too much control." Respect helps us to feel safe in a relationship.

We set personal boundaries to protect our bodies, time, energy, and our personal life.

It's important that everyone respects these boundaries.

David says that, "If someone expresses a boundary, we must respect it.

This builds trust and it shows that being around us is safe." Respect prevents harm and controlling behavior.

Ms. Walsh tells us that, "Respect means appreciating another person for who they are, and allowing them to be themselves.

Without respect, relationships can become one-sided, with someone having more control than the other, leading to unequal control in the relationship.

When built on mutual respect, both people feel confident making their own decisions and being independent." Respect also prevents judgment.

Emily says that, "When people respect each other, they can communicate their thoughts and feelings without worrying about being judged.

Having someone to confide in openly is an important part of any healthy relationship.

For example, I know that I can open up to my dad about anything on my mind, and he always offers his advice without making me feel bad." Let's do another check for understanding to see how you're doing.

For this task, I'd like you to finish this sentence.

Without respect, a relationship can become A, healthy, B, controlling, C, happy or D, harmful.

Can you finish this sentence? Pause the video, talk to the people around you or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that B and D are correct.

Without respect, a relationship can become controlling and harmful.

Well done if you said the same thing.

It's now time to move on to our second practice task, and well done for your hard work so far.

I'd like you to, with the person next to you, discuss the importance of communication and respect in a healthy, long-term relationship.

Pause the video and we'll go through a model answer in a few minutes.

Okay, let's see what you might have said.

You might have said that communication helps people to understand each other and build meaningful relationships.

Communication allows people to express concerns instead of bottling up their feelings.

Communication builds trust, because when someone speaks openly, it shows that they feel safe and supported.

Communication prevents misunderstandings by being clear about thoughts and feelings.

You might have also said that respect is essential.

Without it, relationships can become harmful and even controlling.

Respecting boundaries makes people feel safe and comfortable.

And respect prevents judgment, so people feel safe expressing their thoughts.

Well done if you had any of these ideas.

It's now time to move on to our final learning cycle.

How can we resolve conflicts in a healthy manner? Even healthy relationships can experience conflict, and Ms Walsh reminds us that, "Conflict doesn't mean that our relationship is unhealthy.

However, how we deal with the conflict can mean the difference between what is a healthy and an unhealthy relationship.

When we encounter conflict in our relationship, there are some conflict resolution strategies that we can use in order to resolve conflict in a positive and healthy way." Let's do another check for understanding to see how you're doing.

I'd like you to decide if this statement is true or false.

If a relationship encounters conflict, it is unhealthy.

What do you think? True or false? Pause the video, talk to the people around you or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that this is false, but why? You might have said that all relationships can encounter conflict.

It's how we deal with conflict that can make a relationship unhealthy.

Well done if you said this or something similar.

A key element of healthy conflict resolution is to approach it with emotional intelligence.

Ms. Walsh says that, "This means managing our emotions and responding in a calm and understanding way.

Showing emotional intelligence during conflict isn't always easy, especially when we're feeling frustrated, angry, or upset.

However, it's important to try, as this can lead to a resolution that everyone feels happy with." The first step in conflict resolution is to do our best to remain calm.

We should gather our thoughts before discussing conflict.

If we can't do this, and we feel our emotions rising during a conflict, we should do what we can to calm ourselves.

Lucas says, "When I feel really angry or upset during a conflict, I might step away for a few moments and take some deep breaths.

This really helps and prevents me from shouting or getting too upset." The next step is to use "I" statements when expressing your feelings, and this could look a little bit like this.

"I feel like," "I think that," "I wish that.

." This avoids placing blame on the other person and making 'em feel like they're responsible for any conflict.

This is an example of how we can use emotional intelligence when expressing our feelings.

We talk about how we are feeling, what we think and what we hope for, rather than just talking about the other person.

Let's do another check for understanding to see how you're doing.

Which of these methods of conflict resolution show emotional intelligence? A, using "I" statements to express your feelings.

B, making sure the other person knows they are to blame.

Or C, remaining calm and stepping away if emotions become intense.

Which of those methods of conflict resolution show emotional intelligence? Pause the video, talk to the people around you or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that A and C are correct.

By using "I" statements to express your feelings, and remaining calm and stepping away if emotions become intense.

These are both ways of approaching conflict resolution with emotional intelligence.

Well done if you got this right.

The next thing that we should do is actively listen.

It's good to express our feelings, but it's also equally important to respect what others tell us about theirs.

If someone is talking about their experience during a conflict, we should listen and not interrupt them.

This helps us to understand their perspective better.

Next, we should try to find common ground.

Try to identify common goals in the relationship, and how you both want the conflict to resolve.

This might mean spending more time together, getting more space or developing more understanding.

By identifying a common goal that you both have, the conflict becomes more constructive, with a resolution that benefits everyone and that everyone feels happy with.

It's important to also take responsibility in a conflict.

If we know that we're at fault for a conflict or part of a conflict, an aspect of emotional intelligence is to take accountability for our actions.

Izzy says that taking responsibility shows others that we have identified behavior that we need to change, or areas of the relationship that we need to work on.

Let's do another check for understanding.

This time I'd like you to decide, is Sam using emotional intelligence in the way that she's handling a conflict? Lucas says, "I feel like you boss me around sometimes.

I wish we could do the things that I want to sometimes." Sam says, "That's so not true.

I never boss you around.

If anything, this is your fault for always making boring suggestions." Can you decide, is Sam using emotional intelligence in the way that she's handling this conflict? Pause the video, talk to the people around you or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that, no, Sam is not using emotional intelligence.

She's not taking responsibility for her part in the conflict, and she's blaming Lucas for the issue that they're facing.

Well done if you said this was something similar.

Another important conflict resolution strategy is to focus on the issue and not the person themselves.

Ms. Walsh says that, "When we encounter conflict, our conversation shouldn't turn into name calling or shouting.

This isn't constructive, which means helpful, and it doesn't resolve the issue.

Instead, we should focus on the problem, not criticize the other person's character or their personality." This can cause lasting harm in the relationship.

If we try these conflict resolution strategies and they don't work, or we feel that the relationship is no longer positive or healthy overall, it's okay to walk away from it.

Ms. Walsh reminds us that, "You deserve to be happy, and healthy relationships should bring us joy.

You have the power to walk away from any relationship if it's no longer bringing anything positive to your life.

This may be the final step in conflict resolution, if it feels right for you." Not all conflicts are easily resolved, and we may need additional support if our conflict is really affecting us.

Ms. Walsh reminds us that, "There are many trusted adults who can help with relationship conflicts, such as our parents, carers, teachers, and the Designated Safeguarding Lead.

If your relationship makes you concerned for your safety, it's important to tell a trusted adult straight away.

In an emergency, call 999, and for non-emergencies, you can call 101, or you can contact Childline on 08001111." Let's do another check for understanding to see how you're doing.

Is the statement true or false? If a relationship no longer feels good or healthy, walking away from it may be a healthy way to resolve the conflict.

What do you think? Is this true or false? Pause the video, talk to the people around you, or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that this is true.

It's true that if a relationship no longer feels good or healthy, if it doesn't bring us joy anymore, walking away from it can be a healthy way to resolve the conflict.

Well done if you said the same thing.

We're now moving on to our final practice task, and well done for your hard work.

For the first part of this task, I'd like you to answer this question.

Does this sound like Sophia's relationship has healthy conflict resolution? I'd like you to explain why or why not.

Sophia says that, "Jack and I argue a lot.

He blames me for everything when we fight, and I never get a chance to tell him how I feel.

He often shouts at me and calls me names, and I never get a chance to tell him about my feelings.

Makes me feel really upset and I don't know what to do." Once you've answered that question, I'd like you to answer the question, what could Sophia do to get support? Pause the video and we'll go through a model answer in a few minutes.

Okay, let's see what you might have said.

For the first part of this task, does this sound like Sophia's relationship has healthy conflict resolution? You might have said that this is not a healthy example of conflict resolution.

It doesn't sound like Jack is using emotional intelligence, as he isn't remaining calm, and he's blaming Sophia instead of taking accountability.

He also isn't listening to Sophia when she tries to express her feelings, so he can't understand her perspective or empathize with her.

When Jack shouts and calls Sophia names, he's also focusing on the person and not the issue.

Well done, if your answer was something like this.

For the next part of this task, what could Sophia do to get support? You might have said that Sophia may want to get support if she's struggling to resolve the conflict herself.

She could speak to trusted adults at home or at school.

Sophia could also walk away from the relationship if it's no longer making her happy, as she deserves joy and respect from her relationships.

If Sophia feels concerned for her safety, she should tell a trusted adult immediately, and in an emergency, she should call 999.

Well done if your answer was something like this.

We're now going to summarize the key learning from today's lesson.

In today's lesson, we've learned that long-term relationships take time, commitment, and energy in order to remain healthy.

To effectively resolve any issues, people in relationships must communicate openly and honestly.

Mutual respect for each other's boundaries is important, so that everyone feels safe.

All relationships encounter conflict, and conflict resolution strategies such as remaining calm, actively listening and avoiding blame, help us to resolve them meaningfully and in a healthy way.

Emotional intelligence is essential for conflict resolution, and trusted adults can also offer support if needed.

In today's lesson, you might have found that you've got some questions or worries, and if you do, it's really important that you share these with a trusted adult.

There's also some resources on the screen that are there to help you too.

Well done for your hard work today, I hope to see you again soon.