Lesson video

Hello, my name's Miss Willow, and I'm going to be your teacher for today's lesson.

Today's lesson is called "Different Models of Parenting" and it fits into the unit "Healthy relationships: What is good parenting?" During this lesson, we are going to be talking about some sensitive content, so we recommend that you have an adult with you for the duration of this lesson.

If at any point you do feel worried or uncomfortable, it's important to stop the lesson and to speak to a trusted adult.

Okay, let's make a start.

By the end of today's lesson, you'll be able to describe different parenting styles and explain their effects.

Before we get started, we need to go over some ground rules.

These help to make sure that everyone feels safe and comfortable during today's lesson.

First of all, Laura says that we need to listen to others.

It's okay to disagree with each other, but we should always listen properly before we make any assumptions or before we decide how to respond.

When we disagree with someone else, it's important to challenge the statement and not the person themselves.

Next, Andeep says that we need to respect each other's privacy.

We can discuss examples, but we shouldn't use any names or descriptions that could identify anyone, including ourselves.

If we want to share a story or an experience, we could refer to someone as my friend.

This means that we're not going to give away any identifiable information.

Next, Jacob says that it's important to have no judgement.

We can explore any beliefs or misunderstandings about the topic without fear of being judged by others.

And finally, Izzy says that we can choose our level of participation.

Everyone has the right to choose not to answer a question or to join in with discussion, and we should never put anyone on the spot.

We're now going to have a look at this lesson's keywords.

Our first keyword is authoritarian.

In this context, this is a parenting style with strict rules, high control, and limited emotional warmth.

Next, we have authoritative.

In this context, this is a parenting style combining clear boundaries with emotional support and warmth.

Next, we have permissive.

This is, in this context, a parenting style with minimal rules, but high emotional warmth, but low expectations or control.

And finally, we have uninvolved.

In this context, this is a parenting style with low emotional involvement and minimal rules or expectations.

Today's lesson is split into two learning cycles.

Our first learning cycle is called, what are the main parenting styles? And our second learning cycle is called, how the different parenting styles affect children? Let's make a start on our first learning cycle.

What are the main parenting styles? There are four main parenting styles that we're going to learn about: authoritarian, authoritative, uninvolved, and permissive.

Authoritarian parenting is high control and low warmth.

Authoritative parenting is high control and high warmth.

Uninvolved parenting has low control and low warmth.

And permissive parenting has low control and high warmth.

I'd now like you to do a check for understanding, and I'd like you to fill in the blanks.

Talk to the people around you or have a think to yourself.

Okay, let's see which words should fill in the blanks.

You should have authoritarian.

This means high control and low warmth.

Authoritative is high control and high warmth.

Uninvolved is low control and low warmth, and permissive is low control and high warmth.

Well done if you got this right.

We're going to first take a look at authoritarian parenting.

Authoritarian parents or carers expect obedience without any question or explanation.

They may use punishment and they may have a top-down approach to communication.

That means, for example, that adults always tell the children what to do.

Next, we're going to take a look at authoritative parenting.

Authoritative parents or carers set clear boundaries and expectations, but they're also responsive to their children's needs and their feelings.

They explain their rules and encourage open communication, for example, between the adults and the children.

Next, we're taking a look at uninvolved parenting.

Uninvolved parents or carers are often emotionally detached and provide little guidance, support, or attention.

And permissive parenting is when permissive parents or carers are warm and loving, but they set few rules or limits, often giving in to their children's demands.

They might have very few boundaries for their children.

Let's do another check for understanding.

What are the four main parenting styles? Is it A, adversarial, permissive, authoritative, uninvolved? B, authoritative, passive, authoritarian, or involved? C, authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, or uninvolved? Or D, unloved, passive, authoritarian, authoritative? What are the four main parenting styles? Talk to the people around you or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that C is correct.

The four main parenting styles are authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and uninvolved.

Well done if you got this right.

What might these parenting styles look like in practise? So here is our first example of what authoritarian parenting might look like.

Damien is told to pick up his toys.

"Do it now or it's going in the bin." When he asks why, his dad replies, "Because I said so.

End of discussion." This is authoritarian because it's very strict and it lacks emotional warmth.

And there's also no room for the child's input, showing that there's a top-down expectation of communication.

The child has no ability to speak back or to give their opinion.

We're now going to take another look at an example of authoritarian parenting.

Shanice wants to try out for the school play.

Her mum says, "Absolutely not.

That's a waste of time and you need to focus on real subjects.

I'm not discussing it." Again, this lacks emotional warmth by saying that this is a waste of time and there's no room for the child's input.

She says, "I'm not discussing it." Again, this shows that top-down expectation of communication.

We're now going to take a look at authoritative parenting.

Here's one example.

Awais hits his sister because she took his sweets.

His mum says, "I understand you were angry that your sister took your sweets, but it's not okay to hit.

I'm not going to get you more sweets now.

Let's chat through what you could do another time." This shows that emotions are welcomed and it involves co-regulation.

This means that the mum is saying to Awais, "I understand your feelings and I hear what you're feeling." There's also clear boundaries.

She says, "I'm not going to get you more sweets now." There's also improvements negotiated, so mum offers to have a discussion about what could change for next time.

Now we're going to take another look at an example of authoritative parenting.

Jamie wants to go to a party on a school night.

Their carer says, "I understand you might want to spend time with your friends, but it's a school night and you have an exam tomorrow.

You can go out this weekend instead." This shows again that emotions are welcomed and co-regulated.

Their carer says, "I understand what you want and how you're feeling, but there are clear boundaries.

It's a school night and you have an exam tomorrow." And again, improvements are negotiated.

Their carer suggests an alternative that Jamie can go out at the weekend instead.

We're now going to take a look at an example of uninvolved parenting.

So this could be that Marta is often left in her highchair with her meals and snacks while her mother takes work calls and is on the phone for long periods of time.

This shows that the parent or carer is uninvolved.

There's low control and low warmth.

Another example of uninvolved parenting would be that Sophie tells her dad that she's being bullied at school.

He barely looks up and says, "Sort it out yourself.

I'm busy." Again, the parent or carer wants to remain uninvolved in their child's life.

There's low warmth too.

An example of permissive parenting could be Yuko screams and demands sweets in the shop.

Her mum gives in and says, "All right, but just this once.

Don't cry, okay?" In this circumstance, there's no or very few limits or interventions.

She just wants to keep the peace so she gives the child what she wants.

Another example of permissive parenting could be Charlie staying up playing video games until 2:00 a.

m.

on school nights.

Their dad shrugs and says, "They'll learn the consequences themselves eventually." Again, there's no limits or interventions.

They're not giving any boundaries to Charlie about their behaviour.

Let's do a check for understanding.

Which parenting style is characterised by warmth and clear rules? A, permissive? B, authoritative? C, authoritarian? Or D, uninvolved? Which parenting style is characterised by warmth and clear rules? Pause the video, talk to the people around you, or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that authoritative was the right answer.

This parenting style is characterised by warmth and clear rules.

Let's move on to our first practise task.

I'd like you to create one scenario for each of the parenting styles to illustrate its key points.

I'd like you to label each scenario to show where you have included the key features.

As a reminder, let's take a look at the four parenting styles again.

Authoritarian parenting is high control and low warmth.

Authoritative parenting is high control and high warmth.

Uninvolved is low control and low warmth, and permissive is low control and high warmth.

Pause the video and we'll go through what you might have said in a few minutes.

Okay, let's have a look and see what you might have said.

For authoritarian parenting, you might have said that Mabel wants to choose drama as a GCSE subject.

Her mum says, "Drama is not an appropriate GCSE option.

You need to do something more academic.

And don't pull that face.

I only have your best interests at heart." Here, we've got strict high expectations, emotional distance, and there's no room given to a child's input.

All of these suggest that this parenting is authoritarian.

For authoritative, you might have said that Jamie comes home two hours late without calling.

Their parent says, "I was worried when you didn't come home on time.

Let's talk about what happened and how we can make sure this doesn't happen again." In this situation, emotions are welcomed and co-regulated.

There's clear boundaries with explanations and improvements are encouraged.

Next, we have permissive.

Abel comes home late without letting their parent know.

Their dad says, "Glad you're back safe.

I wish you'd told me you'd be late, but I guess it's fine." This is emotionally warm, but there's no limits or interventions.

It avoids confrontation and is focused on short-term peace.

For uninvolved, you might have said something like, Maya comes home two hours late from her after school club unexpectedly.

Her parent barely glances up from their laptop and mutters, "Oh, you're back." This shows a lack of supervision, lack of emotional connection, and there's no support or challenge.

You could have come up with lots of different scenarios for this activity, so well done if your answers were anything similar to this.

It's now time to move on to our second learning cycle.

How do different parenting styles affect children? Different parenting styles affect children differently.

A child with authoritarian parents or carers may be anxious, fearful, or emotionally numb.

They might avoid expressing emotions, be obedient out of fear, rebel or lie to avoid punishment.

They could have low self-esteem or fear making mistakes.

They could also feel that they need to perform well to avoid punishment, but they might struggle with creativity.

For example, where there's few boundaries or rules.

They could also struggle to form trusting relationships or to even trust themselves.

Here's an example of an impact of an authoritarian parent.

This comes from Luca, age 15.

"My parents expect top grades and total obedience.

If I don't meet their expectations, I'm grounded or sheltered at.

They don't explain their rules or ask how I feel.

To be honest, I'm so afraid of making mistakes in school that I barely speak; I hate it when the teachers ask me to answer a question.

And I also hate tests." Let's do a check for understanding to see how you're doing.

Is this statement true or false? Children with authoritarian parents may be scared of making mistakes.

What do you think? Is this true or false? Pause the video, talk the people around you, or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that this is true.

On the other hand, a child with authoritative parents or carers may be emotionally secure, and they could feel supported by clear boundaries about their behaviours.

They can manage stress and express emotions.

They can understand rules and can think through consequences to their actions.

They're often confident with high self-esteem without being arrogant.

They can perform well academically with encouragement and support.

They can be motivated with good self-regulation.

And they can have strong communication skills and build healthy relationships.

However, it's important to remember that this is just a possibility.

This might not be the same for every single person.

Let's have a look at some of the effects of authoritative parenting.

This comes from Noah, age 14.

"My carers have rules like a set bedtime and doing homework before video games, but I like having boundaries as I know what to expect.

If I break a rule, like speaking rudely, they calmly explain why my behaviour isn't acceptable and they help me to understand how to make better choices next time.

They praise my effort in school, not just my achievements, which my self-esteem.

They also ask for my input in planning family activities, which makes me feel valued." Let's do another check for understanding.

Which parenting style is most likely to lead to high self-esteem and healthy relationships? Is it A, authoritative? B, permissive? C, authoritarian? Or D, uninvolved? Which is most likely to lead to high self-esteem and healthy relationships? Pause the video, talk to the people around you, or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that authoritative parenting is most likely to lead to high self-esteem and healthy relationships.

A child with permissive parents or carers may feel loved, but lack boundaries.

They may feel confused or insecure.

They could be impulsive, lack self-discipline.

They could struggle with rules in school or society.

They could appear confident, but they can't handle conflict very well.

They could be overly dependent on others and lack resilience.

They could underperform due to lack of structure or support.

They could be sociable, but struggle with others' boundaries.

Let's have a look at an example of permissive parenting and the effect that this can have on a child.

This comes from Malik age 13, who is Farad's brother.

"My brother, Farad, is five and always gets his own way.

Mum and Dad don't like saying no because they don't want to upset him.

He goes to bed whenever he feels like it and chooses what to eat, and throws his plate on the floor if he doesn't like it.

When he throws tantrums, Mum and Dad giving quickly to calm him down.

He isn't even expected to tidy up his toys or say please and thank you." A child with uninvolved parents or carers may feel ignored or emotionally abandoned.

They could be withdrawn or aggressive.

They could struggle with self-regulation.

A higher likelihood of risky behaviour.

Struggle to form close relationships, communication issues.

Have low self-worth, feeling unimportant or invisible.

They could have low motivation, engagement, and performance.

Let's take a look at the effects of uninvolved parenting.

Sylvia, age 15, says, "I'm 15 and basically left to my own devices.

My parents work long hours, and when they're home, they don't talk much.

I buy my own meals with lunch money and spend hours alone in my room.

No one checks my homework or asks how school is going.

I've missed several days of school and no one followed up.

Lately, I've been hanging out with older teens who drink and smoke." We're now going to take a look at bubble parenting.

This is a term that describes that parenting doesn't need to be perfect.

There's a bubble or zone where mostly authoritative parenting is good enough.

No one is perfect.

If parents or carers are authoritative most of the time, it's good enough.

Children are resilient and they can cope with occasional inconsistencies in parenting approaches.

Let's do another true or false question.

All parenting styles are equally effective for all children.

What do you think? Is this true or false? Talk to the people around you or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that this is false, but why? You might have said the authoritative parenting usually works best for most children because it combines emotional warmth with clear boundaries, but bubble parenting means parents or carers don't have to be perfect.

Being mostly authoritative is good enough.

It's time to move on to your final practise task.

I'd like you to write an answer to Quentin as if you were on the parent or carer support team.

Advise them about changes that they could make to their parenting style.

Dear parent or carer support team, I'm a parent to Georgia, aged seven.

I'm using the techniques my parents used on me as I turned out well.

After school, she has a tutor, club, or music lessons, then dinner, homework, bath, and bed at 6:30 p.

m.

I make it clear what I expect.

She should get the best grades and aim to become a doctor or a lawyer.

If she gets less than I expect, she practises the test until she gets it all correct.

However, schools say that she is withdrawn, won't speak up in class and is often tearful.

How is she going to be a doctor or a lawyer if she can't voice her opinions? Maybe I should complain to the school.

Please advise.

Best, Quentin.

Can you respond to Quentin as if you were on the parent or carer support team? Advise them on any changes that they could make to their parenting style.

Pause the video and we'll go through an example answer in a few minutes.

Okay, let's see what your reply could have looked like.

You could have said something like: Dear Quentin, thank you for your letter.

We would suggest adapting your parenting style.

Clear boundaries are important for children to feel safe, and at the moment, your boundaries are firm.

We understand you have the best intentions for Georgia, but we would advise communicating the reasons for boundaries so that she can understand why.

Try spending time together doing something that Georgia enjoys and let her choose the activity.

We would also recommend asking Georgia what she feels and wants to do when she's older.

Her feelings are valid and important.

Remember, no parent or carer is perfect.

Try to lead with bubble parenting, knowing that if you're mostly authoritative, it's good enough.

Please let us know how you get on.

Warmest wishes, parent/carer support team.

Again, there were gonna be lots of different answers for this one, but well done if your answer looked anything like this or had some of its key ideas.

We're now going to summarise the key learning from today's lesson.

In today's lesson, we've learned that each parenting style has strengths and weaknesses and needs adapting for individual children.

Clear boundaries help children to feel safe and know what's expected of them.

Authoritative parenting blends warmth with clear boundaries.

Children tend to be confident and responsible.

Authoritarian parenting is strict and less nurturing.

Children tend to be obedient, but have lower self-esteem.

Permissive parenting is warm, but it lacks boundaries.

Children tend to be impulsive with less self-discipline.

Uninvolved parenting is indifferent and distant, leading to children struggling with self-worth and relationships.

During this lesson, you might have found that you've got some worries or some questions.

And if you do, it's really important that you share your worries with a trusted adult.

There's also some resources on the screen that are there to help you too.

Well done for your hard work today.

I hope to see you in another lesson soon.