Lesson video

Hello, my name's Miss Willow, and I'm going to be your teacher for today's lesson.

Today's lesson is called Listening Skills and it fits into the unit, Mental Health: How Can I Talk About My Feelings.

During this lesson, we are going to be talking a little bit about bullying and peer pressure.

So for this lesson, we recommend that you have an adult with you.

If at any point you do feel worried or uncomfortable, it's really important that you close the screen and that you speak to a trusted adult.

Okay, let's make a start.

By the end of today's lesson, you'll be able to describe good listening skills and explain why this is important.

Before we get started with today's lesson, we need to go over some ground rules.

These help to make sure that we feel safe and comfortable during today's lesson.

First of all, Laura says that, "We need to listen to others.

It's okay to disagree with each other, but we should always listen properly before we make any assumptions or before we decide how to respond.

When we disagree with someone else, it's important to challenge the statement and not the person themselves." Next, we have Andeep.

Andeep says that, "We need to respect each other's privacy.

We can discuss examples that we shouldn't use any names or descriptions that identify anyone, including ourselves." This means that if we want to share a story or an experience, we should refer to someone as my friend.

This means that we're not going to give away any identifying information.

Next, Izzy says that, "We can choose our level of participation.

Everyone has the right to choose not to answer a question or to join in with discussion, but we should never put anyone on the spot." And finally, Jacob says, "No judgement.

We can explore any beliefs or misunderstandings that we have about a topic without fear of being judged by others." Let's have a look at the keywords for today's lesson.

Our first keyword is listen.

This means to hear and try to understand what someone is saying.

Next, we have learn.

This means to understand something new.

Summarise, this means stating the key points of what someone has said.

And finally, we have carefully.

In this context, this means being attentive and considerate.

As we go through today's lesson, keep an eye out for these key words and when you spot them, see if you can remember what they mean.

Today's lesson is split into three learning cycles.

Our first learning cycle is called Why is listening important? Our second learning cycle is called, what can I say that shows I'm listening? And finally, our last learning cycle is called what might stop us from listening carefully? Let's make a start on our first learning cycle.

Why is listening important? There are lots of different situations when it's important to listen.

For example, when we talk to our friends or during lessons.

Can you think of any other times when it's really important to listen? Listening is important for building connections with other people.

Nomsa tells us that, "When we listen to people, we show them that we respect them and that we're interested in what they have to say.

People are more likely to connect with people who listen to them." Laura says, "When someone listens to me, it makes me think that they're a considerate person that I want to be friends with." And Andeep says, "When someone listens to me, I feel valued, cared for, and like what I have to say matters." Let's do a check for understanding to see how you're doing so far.

How might someone feel if we listen to them? A, valued.

B, ignored.

Or C, respected.

What do you think? Pause the video.

Talk to the people around you or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that A and C are correct.

If we listen to someone, they are likely to feel valued and respected.

Well done if you said the same thing.

Listening is also really important for helping us to learn.

When we listen, we are more likely to understand certain information.

We're also more likely to notice when we've not understood something so we can ask for help more quickly, and this can help us to learn.

It's also important to remember that we don't only learn when we're at school.

We also need to listen so that we learn more about our friends and how they're feeling.

Jun says, "I listen when my friends tell me about how they feel.

This means that I can support them and I learn more about them too." Listening also helps us to learn how we can be better friends.

Sam wants to share her experience.

Sam says, "Sometimes I've hurt a friend's feelings by accident.

When I've listened to why I hurt their feelings and how, I learn more about how I can be a better friend to them and I can also learn more about myself.

For example, perhaps that I need to work on thinking before I speak." Let's do another check for understanding.

This time, I'd like you to fill in the blanks in these sentences.

Listening helps us to blank because it helps us to understand certain information.

We also need to listen so that we can know how our friends are blank, for example, if we've hurt their feelings.

Pause the video, talk to the people around you or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you say that the missing words were learn and feeling.

This means that our completed sentences should say, "Listening helps us to learn because it helps us to understand certain information.

We also need to listen so that we can know how our friends are feeling, for example, if we have hurt their feelings." Well done if you got this right.

Let's move on to our first practise task and well done for your hard work so far.

I'd like you to give Aisha two reasons why it's important to listen in this scenario.

Aisha says, "I've been asked to sit next to Amy, someone I don't know very well, in maths.

We've just started doing the independent work and I found that I'm stuck.

Amy has offered to help me, but I keep getting distracted by my friends that are sat on the other side of me." Can you give Aisha two reasons why it's important to listen to Amy in this scenario? Pause the video and we'll go through what you might have said in a few minutes.

Okay, let's see what you might have said.

"Aisha should listen in this scenario because it could help her to connect with Amy who she doesn't know very well.

Aisha and Amy could become friends if Aisha listens to what Amy is saying, and it's also important that Aisha listens because it'll help her to learn in maths, especially if she got stuck with the independent work." Well done if your answer was anything like this.

It's now time to move on to our second learning cycle.

What can I say that shows I'm listening? First of all, I'd like you to have a think about what Alex says.

Alex says, "If we are not interrupting someone when they speak, we are being a good listener." What do you think about this? Do you agree, disagree? Maybe you're somewhere in the middle or you're not sure.

Pause the video, talk to the people around you or have a think to yourself.

You might have said that Alex is partly correct.

Staying quiet and not interrupting someone when they speak is a good step towards being a good listener, but we have to do more than this to listen well.

So well done if you had something similar to this.

To be a good listener, we also need to focus on what people are saying when they speak, and we need to consider how they feel too.

Lucas says, "When someone is speaking, I do my best to take in what they're saying and their emotions too.

It can be easy to just think about what we're going to say next or to not listen at all, but it's really important that we listen properly so that we can learn and connect with the people around us." One way that we can show someone that we're listening is by looking at the person who is speaking.

If we find making eye contact tricky, we can look at someone in between their eyes.

This makes it look like we're giving eye contact, but we're actually just looking in between their eyes.

We should aim to look at the person for most of the time that they're speaking.

This shows that we're being a good listener.

Let's do a chat for understanding to see how you're doing with this learning cycle.

How can Laura improve her listening skills? Izzy says, "So what do you think?" And Laura says, "Hmm, I think so, yes." How can Laura improve her listening skills? Pause the video, talk to the people around you or have a think to yourself.

You might have said that Laura could improve her listening skills by focusing on what Izzy is saying and looking at her when she's speaking.

Well done if you said the same thing.

We can also show good listening by summarising what someone has said or asking them follow up questions relating to what they've said.

Ms. Walsh says that, "When we summarise what someone has said, we're showing them that we focus on what they've said and that we care about understanding them too.

It also gives them the chance to correct us if we are misunderstood about what they've said or how they're feeling." Let's have a look at this situation between Laura and Aisha.

Laura says, "It really hurts my feelings when you said you didn't want to go see that new film with me.

I was really looking forward to it, and I felt let down." Aisha says, "Let me just check I've understood you properly.

You're upset because I'm not going to see that film with you as you were looking forward to it and you feel like I've let you down?" This shows Aisha summarising what Laura has said, and this shows that she's been a good listener.

She's pointed out the main things that Laura has said and how she's feeling too.

This shows that she's listened well and that she cares about understanding Laura correctly.

We are now going to have a look at a situation between Andeep and Alex.

In this scenario, Andeep says, "I was really upset when my mum said I could no longer go to the theme park because of an upcoming test.

I'd been saving up my pocket money for it too." Alex says, "I'm not surprised you were upset when your mum said that you couldn't go anymore.

I understand why you felt frustrated that you'd saved up money as well." Here, Alex shows that he's summarising what Andeep says.

He's repeating what Andeep has said, why he's feeling upset and how he's feeling, and this shows that he's listened well.

Alex says, "I was able to use clues from Andeep's body language and tone of voice to work out that he felt frustrated.

He seemed angry but sad too.

In my summary, I used the word frustrated to help Andeep have the words to describe how he felt." Let's do another check for understanding to see how you're doing.

What could Jacob do next to show that he was listening to Laura? Laura says, "I worked really hard in that test.

I spent so many hours revising and I feel like I failed.

It just feels like all my hard work was for nothing." What could Jacob do next to show that he was listening to what Laura said? Pause the video.

Talk to the people around you or have a think to yourself.

You might have said that Jacob could summarise what Laura said or ask follow up questions to show that he was listening.

Remember that when we summarise something, we're taking the key points of what someone has said and we're showing how they're feeling too.

This helps us to make sure that we've understood what they've said and it shows that we're listening to.

We're now moving on to our second practise task.

Well done for your hard work so far.

For this task, I'd like you to decide how could Jacob summarise what Laura has said so that he shows that he has listened? Let's look back and remember what Laura said.

Laura said, "I worked really hard in that test.

I spent so many hours revising and I feel like I've failed.

It just feels like all that hard work was for nothing." What could Jacob say next to show that he has listened? Remember what we've learned in this learning cycle about summarising.

Pause the video and we'll go through a model answer in a few minutes.

Okay, let's see what you might have said.

Jacob might say something like, "You worked really hard in that test and spent so much time revising.

Feeling like you failed is a really hard feeling.

It can feel like all your hard work was for nothing, and I'm sorry to hear that you are experiencing this." Something like this shows that Jacob was listening.

He's summarising the key points of what Laura said, and he's saying how she felt too.

This would be a really good way of showing someone that we've listened and that we've understood what's going on for them.

Well done if you have something similar to this.

We're now moving on to our final learning cycle.

Well done for your hard work so far.

This learning cycle is called, what might stop us from listening carefully? Sometimes taking what people say at face value can stop us from listening carefully.

This means that we don't look deeper into what they're really saying.

When we take something at face value, this means that we assume that people will say exactly what they mean.

People can say things that don't really match how they feel, especially if they're trying to hide a difficult feeling like feeling sad, angry or rejected.

Good listening involves listening to not only what people are saying with their words, but also how they're saying it.

This can reveal how they really feel.

Let's look at this scenario between Izzy and Sophia.

Izzy says, "I'm so annoyed you're hanging out with Jack again.

All you do is spend time with him.

It's like no one else exists." If Sophia listens carefully to not only what Izzy is saying with her words, but also how she's saying it, she might see that Izzy feels left out and rejected because Sophia is spending so much time with Jack.

Let's look at this scenario between Jacob and Aisha.

Jacob says, "I didn't get picked for the football team, but do you know what Aisha? I don't care anyway.

It's just a stupid football team.

I'm glad I wasn't picked." In this scenario, if Aisha listens carefully to not only Jacob's words but also how he's saying it, she might see that Jacob does feel upset.

He feels upset, frustrated, and rejected that he wasn't picked for the team, even if his words suggest something different.

Let's look at this conversation between Sam and Jun.

Sam says, "Why don't we go to the park this weekend? It'll be loads of fun and we can meet up with some of my other friends too." Jun might reply saying, Yeah, fine, whatever.

Let's do whatever you want." But if Sam listens carefully, she might see that Jen doesn't really want to do what she's suggesting.

She can look at his facial expressions and the tone of voice that he's used to say this to help her know that actually Jun doesn't want to do this.

Let's do a check for understanding to see how you're doing with this learning cycle.

If Lucas listens carefully, what might he notice about how Alex is feeling? In this scenario, Alex says to Lucas, "Yeah, it's cool.

I don't mind not being invited to your house after school even though your other friends are going.

I didn't want to go anyway." If Lucas listens carefully, what might he notice about how Alex is feeling? Maybe you want to talk to the people around you or have a think to yourself.

You might have said something like, Lucas might notice that Alex does feel left out and he did want to be invited to his house after school.

Lucas can pick up on this by Alex's facial expressions and his tone of voice and how he's saying things too.

Well done if you said this or something similar.

Our own feelings can also sometimes stop us from listening carefully.

Sometimes we're so focused on our own feelings and what's going on for us that we forget to listen carefully to others.

For example, Aisha could be so focused on being happy about being picked for a football team that she doesn't notice how upset Jacob is that he wasn't picked for the football team.

Or we could feel so angry or upset at a friend that we don't listen to their side of the story.

Ms. Walsh says that, "This is why it's really important that if we feel overwhelmed with our emotions, we take some deep breaths and we take some space to calm down.

This will mean that we can then be a good listener to our friend." Let's revisit Sophia and Izzy's scenario.

Sophia says, "Before I got angry with Izzy for being upset that I was spending time with Jack, I listened to what her words were telling me about how she really felt.

I realised that I'd barely spent time with her, so I said that we should do something together instead." Well done, Sophia, for listening carefully.

Let's do another check for understanding.

This time I'd like you to decide who is correct, Jacob or Laura.

Jacob says, "Even when we feel upset or angry, it's still important to listen to other people." But Laura says, "If we feel upset or angry, it's okay to ignore what other people are saying because our feelings are more important." Who do you think is correct? Jacob or Laura? Pause the video.

Talk to the people around you or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that Jacob is correct.

It's true that even when we feel upset or angry, it's still important to listen to other people.

If we feel overwhelmed by our emotions, it can be helpful to take some space and take some deep breaths.

This helps us to regulate our own emotions and to help us to listen to other people too.

Well done if you got this right.

Let's move on to our final practise task.

In this scenario, Jun and Andeep have had an argument.

What could stop them from listening carefully to each other? Pause the video and we'll go through some potential answers in a few minutes.

Okay, let's see what you might have said.

You might have said that in this scenario, "Jun and Andeep could stop listening carefully to each other if they take each other's words at phase value or if they're too focused on their own feelings instead of how the other person feels." Well done if you said something similar to this.

We are now going to summarise the key learning that we've learned in today's lesson.

In today's lesson, we've learned that it's really important to listen so that we can build connections with others.

This can help us to build friendships and to just connect with other people too.

Listening helps us to learn both in the classroom and from the people around us, like our friends, family and other people too.

We can also learn other people's thoughts and feelings by listening carefully.

Good listening means doing more than just staying quiet and not interrupting.

We can show someone that we're listening by looking at them when they speak, summarising what they say and asking follow up questions.

All of these things show that we're a good listener and this can make people feel more comfortable and connect with us more too.

We should also listen carefully to what people are saying and how they say it as this can help us to know how they feel.

Taking someone else's words at face value or being too focused on our own feelings can stop us from listening carefully.

What people really mean can be seen in their body language or their tone of voice, so it's important to pay attention to these things too.

In today's lesson, you might have felt you've got some worries or some questions and if you do, it's really important that you share these with a trusted adult.

There's also some resources on the screen that are there to help you too.

Well done for your fantastic hard work today.

I'm really proud of you and I hope to see you in another lesson soon.