Lesson video

Hi, I'm Ms. Lowe, and I'm your RSHE teacher for today.

Thank you so much for choosing to complete your learning with me.

Today's lesson is all about the benefits of positive relationships.

And because of some of the themes and topics we're gonna cover in today's lesson, it's important that you complete your learning with the company of an adult.

So here's a look at our outcome for today's lesson.

And by the end, you're gonna be able to explain the importance of different relationships.

Every RSHE lesson should begin with a set of ground rules.

This ensures that every conversation had in RSHE is respectful and we're all able to learn effectively.

So Laura is reminding us that, in our RSHE, we should listen to others.

It's okay to disagree with each other, but we should listen properly before making assumptions or deciding how to respond.

And when disagreeing, we challenge the statement and not the person.

Andeep is reminding us to respect privacy.

We can discuss examples, but we don't use names or descriptions that can identify anyone, including ourselves.

Izzy is reminding us to choose a level of participation that suits us.

Everyone has the right to choose not to answer a question or to join in a discussion, but we never put anyone on the spot.

And finally, Jacob is reminding us that, in RSHE, there is no judgement.

We can explore beliefs and misunderstandings about a topic without the fear of being judged.

And here are our key words, and we'll go through these definitions together now.

First, we have power.

This is the ability to influence or control what happens in a situation or how other people act or feel.

Dynamics, ways in which people interact, communicate, and behave towards each other.

Boundary, an imaginary line separating what we will and won't allow.

And finally, respect, being considerate of others and the world around you, treating people fairly and how you would like to be treated.

So here's a look at what we're gonna be covering in today's lesson, and we're gonna start by asking the question, how does power come into relationships? Every relationship that we have in our lives will involve power in some way.

Every relationship we have will also involve different power dynamics.

For example, the power dynamics that we might have in a parent and child relationship will be very different to the power dynamics that are involved in a friendship.

So let's have a look now at friendships and what power might look like in them.

So in a friendship, the dynamics of power should be equal, and this is because friendships are all about reciprocity.

And this means equal giving and taking.

In a friendship, we have the power to influence each other, and that could be positively or negatively.

We have the power to support each other emotionally and to shape each other's views and opinions.

We also have the power to resolve conflicts within friendship.

So let's pause here and let's check our understanding about what we've just learned.

True or false.

Every relationship will have the same power dynamics.

Pause the video here and have a think about your answer.

Really well done if you said false.

Let's have a look at why that's false.

Well, although every relationship does involve power, the dynamics of the power will be different, depending on the relationship.

And we already had a look at a brief example of that when we said that power dynamic be tween a parent and child will be very different to that between friends.

So let's have a look now at parents, carers, and guardians.

So our relationships that we have with these trusted adults will involve different power dynamics with our parents and carers.

There is a natural power imbalance.

This is because these adults naturally have more authority and influence in our lives than we do in theirs, and that's because it is the responsibility of these adults to help us to navigate our lives safely and happily.

So although our trusted adults do have more power in our relationship with them, we do still have some power.

So we have the power to communicate our thoughts and our feelings with them.

We have the power to set some personal boundaries and to make some choices for ourselves.

We also have the power to build meaningful bonds with our trusted adults.

Let's pause here again and let's check our understanding.

Our relationships with our trusted adults have a natural power, what? All right, pause the video, and think about what that missing word might be, and then we'll go through the right answer together.

Really well done if you said imbalance.

There is a natural power imbalance because these trusted adults have the responsibility to make sure that we can navigate life safely and happily.

Now let's have a look at teachers and school staff.

So our relationships with teachers and staff in school will also have different power dynamics.

Teachers and school staff have more authority because it's their role to help us learn and to create a safe environment for us.

However, we do still have power in these relationships.

We have power to communicate our thoughts, feelings, and needs respectfully, and to behave in a way that allows teachers to use their power effectively.

Now let's have a look at medical professionals.

So our relationship with medical professionals also have different power dynamics, and the power is different rather than unequal.

So medical professionals have the authority to diagnose us and to give us advice about our health due to their training and their expertise.

We have the power to ask questions, tell them how our bodies and minds are feeling, and to make decisions about our own care.

Now let's have a look at romantic relationships.

So just like friendships, romantic relationships should have equal power.

They should be based on reciprocity, just like friendships.

Both people should have an equal say and treat each other fairly.

In these relationships, both people can share their thoughts and feelings.

They can set boundaries and they should expect these to be respected.

People can also have the power to resolve conflict or to leave a relationship if it no longer feels good.

Let's pause here again and let's check our understanding.

What I want for you to do is I want for you to read through this sentence here on the screen, and then change two things to make the sentence correct.

So you're gonna pause the video here and read through that sentence by yourselves, and then we'll go through the right answer together.

Really well done.

So the sentence currently reads: In a romantic relationship, power is unequally distributed.

People do not have the power to leave these relationships if they make them unhappy.

And you might have changed it to something like this.

In a romantic relationship, power is equally distributed.

People have the power to leave these relationships if they make them unhappy.

Now we are gonna put that learning into practise.

So what I want for you to do is for each relationship type below, we have friendships, parents and carers, teachers and school staff, medical professionals, and romantic relationships.

I would like for you to explain what power each person has and whether that power is equal or unequal.

So pause the video here and go through those types of relationships, explain what power each person has, and then we'll go through the correct answers together.

Great work.

Let's have a look at what you might have said.

So you were asked for each relationship type to explain what power the person has and whether the power is equal or unequal.

So you might have said that, in friendships, the power should be equal between both people.

Each friend has the power to share their thoughts, influence decisions, and support each other.

For parents and carers, you might have said the power is unequal, with parents and carers having more authority and control.

However, children have the power to communicate their feelings, set some boundaries, and ask for support.

Next, we had teachers and school staff.

So you might have said that the power here is unequal again, because teachers have more authority to make decisions and create rules.

Pupils, on the other hand, have the power to express their thoughts respectfully and contribute to their own learning.

Next, we had medical professionals.

So the power here is different, rather than unequal.

Medical professionals have the specialised authority due to their training, while patients have the power to make decisions about their own care and ask questions.

So finally, we have romantic relationships.

So the power here, just like friendships, should be equal between both partners.

Each person has the power to communicate their feelings, set boundaries, and make decisions together and respect each other.

We are moving on now to the second part of our lesson where we're asking the question, what is healthy power in relationships? So as we mentioned before, every relationship that we have in our lives involves some form of power dynamics.

When healthy, these power dynamics can build strong foundations for meaningful, mutually beneficial relationships.

And it can make us feel respected, listened to, and secure, but healthy power can look different in different relationships.

There are several key features of healthy power in relationships that include collaborative decision making, positive influence, safety, respect, accountability, and positive change and growth.

So let's start by having a look at collaborative decision making.

One way that healthy power works is through fair decision making.

So in friendships and romantic relationships, decisions should be made together.

We plan things with our friends or partners and we listen to each other's ideas and opinions.

With parents, carers, or teachers, however, they will consider our thoughts and feelings when making decisions, but ultimately, these decisions are down to our trusted adults.

But the decisions that they make should make us feel safe and supported.

So we're gonna check our understanding again here.

So which of these statements is accurate? I want you to read through those three statements by yourselves, and then we'll go through the correct answer together.

Really good work if you said B.

So trusted adults make decisions that benefit us and make us feel safe and supported.

Now let's have a look at positive influence.

So another important aspect of healthy power is positive influence.

And what this means is shaping each other in a meaningful inspiring ways.

For example, Lucas here says, "I feel like I have so much spare time after school.

I wanna do something fun." And Sofia says, "You're so good at art, why don't you join an after school art club? And I'll come too." So we can see here that Sofia is influencing Lucas in a really positive way.

She's suggesting a really good way for him to spend his free time, which is meaningful and inspiring.

We should use our power to influence others in a way that makes their lives better.

Next, we have safety.

So healthy power should always create feelings of safety and security.

In any relationship, everyone involved should feel protected and secure.

For example, parents or carers can use their power to keep us safe from dangers or frightening situations.

And medical professionals reassure us that they want to keep us safe and healthy.

Next, we have respect.

So all healthy relationships are built on mutual respect.

This means respecting each other's boundaries, interests, thoughts and feelings.

And when relationships have this respectful dynamic, they make us feel listened to and secure.

Now let's pause here and let's check our understanding.

I would like for you to complete this sentence below with the missing word.

So you're gonna read through that sentence, have a think about what that word might be, and then we'll go through the correct answer together.

Really well done if you said mutual.

So all relationships should be built on a foundation of mutual respect.

And this means both people respecting each other in an equal way.

Now let's have a look at accountability.

So healthy relationships also require accountability from everyone involved.

Now, this means people taking responsibility when things go wrong, and then saying sorry for our mistakes.

Accountability should be balanced, which means that everyone in the relationship should be willing to own up to their actions.

When people own up to their actions, it builds trust.

Next, we have positive change and growth.

So finally, healthy relationships must be able to hand handle change over time, 'cause change is inevitable and relationships do naturally change.

The dynamics that we have with another person will shift over time.

And this might be short term such as support in a friend who's going through a difficult time, or longer term, like how a parent-child relationship will change as a child grows up.

Handling these changes maturely is a really important part of any healthy relationship.

Let's pause and let's check our understanding again.

So true or false.

If someone is accountable in a relationship, it can build a foundation of trust in another person.

Let's pause the video here and think if that's true or false.

Well done if you said true.

So now let's put our learning into practise, and I'm gonna ask you to write an acrostic poem about what healthy power looks like in relationships.

So for this, you're gonna start each sentence using a different letter from the word power, and then we'll go through what your answer might look like in just a moment.

Great work, so you are asked to write an acrostic poem about what healthy power looks like in relationships.

And your answer could look like this example.

Power is part of every relationship.

Over time, the dynamics of our relationships change.

But when people use their power in a healthy way, everyone involved feels safe, supported, and listened to, and respect can flow both ways and grow naturally.

We're moving on now to the third and final part of our lesson, but we're asking the question, what is unhealthy power in relationships? So as the famous saying goes, with great power comes great responsibility.

And when people do not use their power in a healthy way within relationships, it can cause conflict, sadness, and make people feel unsafe.

There are several warning signs of unhealthy power in relationships that we should recognise, and we're gonna have a look at those together now.

First one is controlling behaviour.

So one warning sign of unhealthy power is when someone tries to control others in inappropriately.

Some relationships naturally involve, one person having more authority than others, like our parents, our carers, or teachers.

However, when it comes to friendships or romantic relationships, if someone is forcing us to make certain decisions or preventing us from making our own choices, this is unhealthy.

This can make people feel disrespected and out of control of their own lives.

Next, we have manipulation.

So another warning sign is manipulation.

Then this means making someone feel bad to get them to do what you want, and it may involve someone saying things like this.

"You'd do it if you are my friend." When people feel manipulated, they feel unsafe and disrespected because somebody is using your emotions against you, and it's a very upsetting experience.

They may also feel like they're being used rather than valued.

Now let's pause here again and let's check our understanding.

So which of these are unhealthy power dynamics? There's four options on screen.

I want you to read through those four options and then tell me which of them are unhealthy power dynamics, and we'll go through the correct answer together.

Really well done if you said A, using someone's emotions against them, which is manipulation, or C, telling another person what to do, which we will describe as controlling behaviour.

Next is blame and denial.

So this is when someone refuses to take responsibility.

Things inevitably go wrong in different relationships and conflict is natural.

However, if someone refuses to acknowledge their mistakes, blames others for issues, or just will not accept changes in the relationship, this creates an unhealthy dynamic.

And this can make people feel anxious and not listened to as problems won't be dealt with in a healthy, mature way.

Next, we have ignoring boundaries.

So this is a serious warning sign when somebody does not respect another person's boundaries.

Unhealthy users of power can make us feel incredibly unsafe or even in danger.

Every relationship that we have involves some form of boundaries which can relate to many different areas of our lives, including our bodies.

If someone does not respect these boundaries, we must tell a trusted adult.

No one has the right to question our boundaries or to make us feel unsafe.

Let's pause here and let's check our understanding.

So true or false.

There are relationships where boundaries don't apply.

Let's pause here and have a think well done if you said false.

This is false because boundaries are a part of every relationship that we have because it's how we determine the behaviour that we find appropriate, and no one has the power to question our boundaries.

Now we're gonna put our learning into practise.

So in the table, I want you to list five ways someone might feel or be treated in a relationship that contains healthy power dynamics.

And then I want you to list five ways they might feel or be treated in unhealthy power dynamics.

So we're gonna pause the video here and complete your table, and then we'll go through some correct answers together in a moment.

So you were asked in the table to list five ways that someone might feel or be treated in a relationship that has healthy power dynamics.

And another five for how a person might feel or be treated with unhealthy power dynamics.

So on the healthy side, they might have said they feel respected, listened to, safe, supported, and secure.

On the unhealthy side of the table, you might have said unsafe, not listened to, anxious or scared, insecure or disrespected.

Now to end our lesson, we're gonna go through a summary of what we've learned.

So every relationship that we have involves power, but the dynamics are different, depending on who the relationship is with.

People can use their power in healthy ways through respect, accountability, and fair decision-making.

This can make us feel happy, supported, safe, and listened to.

People can use their power in unhealthy ways, through control, manipulation, or not respecting boundaries.

This can make people feel safe, disrespected, scared or insecure.

If you find yourself in a relationship with unhealthy power dynamics, it is important to speak to a trusted adult for support.

Now, if what we've covered in today's lesson affects you in any way or you have any concerns, here are some places that you can go to to access support.

First we have Childline.

This is a website and phone line, which is able to offer confidential advice and support.

And then finally, CEOP.

And this helps protect children from online abuse and exploitation.

I'd like to say a big well done for all of your fantastic work during today's lesson.

It has been a pleasure to teach you, and I look forward to seeing you in another RSHE lesson soon.