Lesson video

Hello, my name's Ms. Willow and I'm going to be your teacher for today's lesson.

Today's lesson is called "A healthy romantic relationship" and it fits into the unit "Healthy relationships: How do relationships change?" During this lesson, we are going to be talking about peer pressure and some other sensitive content, so for this lesson we recommend that you have an adult with you.

If at any point you do feel worried or uncomfortable, it's really important that you stop the video and that you speak to an adult that you trust.

Okay, let's make a start on today's lesson.

By the end of today's lesson, you'll be able to describe the features of healthy romantic relationships.

Before we get started with today's lesson, we need to go over some ground rules.

These helps make sure that everyone feels safe and comfortable during today's lesson.

First of all, Laura says that we need to listen to others.

It's okay to disagree with each other, but we should always listen properly before we make any assumptions or before we decide how to respond to someone else.

When we disagree with someone else, it's important to challenge the statement and not the person themselves.

Jacob says that we need to not have any judgment.

We can explore beliefs and misunderstandings about a topic without fear of being judged by others.

Next, Izzy says that we can choose our level of participation.

Everyone has the right to choose not to answer a question or to join in with discussion, and we should never put anyone on the spot, as this can make people feel uncomfortable.

And finally, Andeep says that we need to respect each other's privacy.

We can discuss examples, but we shouldn't use any names or descriptions that identify anyone, including ourselves.

If we want to share a story, we can refer to someone as "my friend." This means that we're not going to give away any identifying information.

We're now going to take a look at the keywords for today's lesson.

Our first keyword is respect.

This is being considerate of others and the world around you, treating people fairly and how you would like to be treated.

Trust, this is the confidence that someone will act in your best interest and be honest with you.

Next, we have communication.

This is the exchange of words, either verbal or written, to express thoughts, feelings, and ideas.

Our next keyword is boundary.

This is an imaginary line separating what we will and won't allow.

And finally, we have mutual.

In this context, this means something shared between partners in a fair and equal way, such as respect or trust.

Today's lesson is split into three learning cycles.

Our first learning cycle is called, "What is a healthy romantic relationship?" Our second learning cycle is called, "Why are respect, trust, and communication key?" And finally, in our last learning cycle, we're going to answer the question, "Why are boundaries important?" Let's make a start on our first learning cycle, "What is a healthy romantic relationship?" As we grow and develop, so do our relationships and the types of relationships that we have.

When we're going through puberty, we may start to develop romantic attractions and romantic relationships.

It's important to know what healthy romantic relationships look like so that we can stay safe and be happy.

A healthy romantic relationship has four main qualities that work together.

Respect, trust, communication, and boundaries.

These four things, respect, trust, communication, and boundaries, all work together to make a healthy romantic relationship.

If a romantic relationship contains these qualities, then it's healthy for both us and our partner.

Let's do a check for understanding to see how you're doing so far.

What is missing from this list? Some of the qualities of a healthy romantic relationship are respect, trust, and what's missing? Pause the video, talk to the people around you, or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that the missing words were communication and boundaries.

Some of the qualities of a healthy romantic relationship are respect, trust, communication, and boundaries.

Well done if you remembered this.

First of all, we're going to talk a little bit about respect.

So respect means listening to your partner's opinions, supporting them when they need help, and treating them fairly.

Tim wants to share his experience.

Tim says, "My partner listens to me and supports me when I need it.

We both have an equal say in the decisions we make together.

She accepts that we don't always agree on everything, and that actually makes our relationship stronger.

We also respect each other's different interests and we give each other space to be ourselves." We're now going to talk a little bit about trust.

Trust means believing that your partner will be honest with you and keep their promises.

Eric says, "I have trust in my partner, Priya, and I'm confident that she won't let me down.

This means I can depend on her to keep her word and to be honest with me." Let's do another check for understanding to see how you're doing, and this time I'd like you to decide if this statement is true or false.

Having trust in a partner means that you have faith that a partner's words will align with their actions.

What do you think, is this true or false? Pause the video, talk to the people around you, or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that this is true.

It's true that having trust in a partner means that you have faith that a partner's words will align with their actions.

This is one of the qualities that's needed in a healthy romantic relationship.

Well done if you said the same thing.

We're now going to talk about communication.

This means being open and honest about your thoughts, feelings, and actions without fear of judgment from the other person.

Harry wants to share his story.

Harry says, "Communication is not always easy, but in a healthy relationship you are able to communicate about difficult topics instead of having to avoid them.

I feel this way with my partner, Xavier.

I know I can talk to him about anything." We're now going to talk a little bit about boundaries, and boundaries are the rules that we set about how we want to be treated and what we're comfortable with.

Siobhan wants to share her story.

She says that "in a healthy relationship, we understand and accept each other's boundaries.

My partner and I both honor what the other person is comfortable with, which means that we feel safe and secure whether we're together or apart." A relationship needs all of these qualities to be healthy, so respect, trust, communication, and boundaries, as we can see in this diagram.

Both people must show respect, trust, communication, and good boundaries.

These qualities must be mutual, not one sided, for a relationship to be healthy.

If only one person does this, the relationship becomes unhealthy for one person or for both.

Let's do another check for understanding.

I'd like you to decide if the statement is true or false.

A healthy relationship only needs to have one person who displays respect, trust, communication, and good boundaries.

What do you think, is this true or false? Pause the video, talk to the people around you, or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that this is false, but why? You might have said that in a healthy relationship both partners must mutually respect these qualities.

Well done if you said this or something similar.

We're now moving on to your first practice task, and well done for your hard work and focus so far.

For this task, I'd like you to write one paragraph explaining what qualities a healthy romantic relationship should have.

In your paragraph, I'd like you to include the following terms. Respect, trust, communication, boundaries, and mutuals.

Pause the video and we'll go through a model answer in a few minutes.

Okay, let's see what you might have written.

You might have said that a healthy romantic relationship must have respect, which means listening to your partner and supporting them when needed.

It also means both people have an equal say in decisions.

Relationships need trust, meaning you can rely on your partner to keep their word.

Good communication is also essential.

This means being open and honest even about difficult topics.

Finally, partners must respect each other's boundaries, which are the limits around what each person is comfortable with.

A romantic relationship is only healthy if these qualities are mutual and both people demonstrate them.

Well done if your answer was anything like this and had some similar ideas.

We're now moving on to our second learning cycle, "Why are respect, trust, and communication key?" Respect is an essential part of a healthy romantic relationship as it helps to build a foundation of safety and trust.

It can make the people in a relationship feel that their opinions are acknowledged and that they're accepted for who they are.

If partners have respect for one another, they feel safe around each other, but also secure enough to pursue individual interests and goals.

Social worker Natalie is going to explain to us a little bit about respect.

She says that "without respect, partners can experience hurtful conflict and unhappiness.

A lack of respect can also cause resentment, where partners may feel upset that they're not being treated fairly.

Similarly, it can cause people to feel unsafe and insecure.

Respect is earned, so it's important for both partners to consistently show this quality to each other." Let's do another check for understanding.

I'd like you to rewrite this sentence so that it is correct.

Respect is unimportant in a relationship.

Without it, couples can feel secure and safe.

Can you rewrite the sentence that I've just read out so that it is correct? Pause the video, talk to the people around you, or have a think to yourself.

Well done if your rewritten sentence looks anything like this.

Respect is important in a relationship.

Without it, couples can feel unsafe and insecure.

Well done if your sentence was like this.

Trust is another important quality in a healthy romantic relationship.

Trust creates a strong bond between people in a relationship.

If two people feel trust in one another, they know their partner is reliable and that they can depend on them for comfort, security, and safety.

Social worker Natalie is going to explain a little bit about trust.

"Without trust, partners might question the other person's actions or cause jealousy and possessiveness.

A lack of trust can also make partners feel scared to open up about their feelings for fear of judgment.

Trust takes time and effort to build and can be easily broken.

If it's broken, it can take time to build again, which is why it's so important to protect and nurture trust in a relationship." Let's do another check for understanding.

I'd like you to decide if this statement is true or false.

Once you've gained a partner's trust, you'll always have it.

What do you think, true or false? Pause the video, talk to the people around you, or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that this is false, but why? You might have said that trust is easily broken.

If it's lost, it can take a long time to build it back up again, so it's really important to nurture trust in a relationship.

Well done if your explanation was a little bit like this.

Communication is another important quality in a healthy romantic relationship because it creates emotional closeness between people, and this is really important in a healthy relationship.

It can make people feel secure knowing that their partner will share their thoughts and feelings openly with them.

Healthy communication doesn't mean having no conflict.

It just means that conflict is handled maturely and respectfully.

Dr.

Elsie is going to explain to us the consequence of unhealthy communication.

She says that "unhealthy communication can lead to hurtful conflicts.

If partners cannot communicate with one another, it can result in distance and allow negative feelings to build up over for time, and this can also lead to partners feeling unappreciated and unheard.

These feelings can contribute to having an unhealthy relationship." Let's do another check for understanding.

This time, I'd like you to read the scenario and explain if it shows healthy communication.

Clara says, "I always try to avoid conflict, so I don't say anything when I feel annoyed or upset.

When we do encounter conflict, it can become quite heated and we sometimes say hurtful things to each other." Can you explain if this scenario shows healthy communication? Pause the video, talk to the people around you, or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that Clara is not sharing an example of healthy communication.

Healthy communication doesn't mean avoiding conflict, but handling conflict in a respectful and mature way.

It's also not healthy communication to be hurtful to one another during disagreements.

Well done if you said this or something similar.

It's now time to move on to our second practice task, and well done for your hard work so far.

For this task, I'd like you to fill in the table to explain the importance of respect, trust and communication.

Have a look at what's in the table already and then complete the table.

Pause the video and we'll go through what your table might look like in a few minutes.

Okay, let's see what your completed table may look like.

For respect, you might have that, with it, we can feel listened to, accepted, safe, and secure, but without it, we can feel hurt, unhappy, resentful, insecure, and not treated fairly.

For trust, with it, we can feel a strong bond, that we can rely on our partners, safe, comfortable, and secure.

And without it, we can feel constantly insecure, jealous and possessive.

For communication, with it, we can feel secure and able to engage in conflict maturely, but without it, we can feel hurt, unappreciated, unheard, unable to express our thoughts and feelings.

Well done if your table looks anything like this.

It's now time to move on to our last learning cycle, "Why are boundaries important?" Boundaries are essential in a healthy romantic relationship because they protect our sense of safety and individuality.

Tory and Savannah say that "Our boundaries help us as a couple to feel respected and secure, knowing that we will honor what the other is comfortable with." Dr.

Elsie explains that "healthy boundaries are non-negotiable.

We should never have to accept things that we don't like just because our partner wants us to.

Without respected boundaries, partners can feel pressured, unsafe, and that the relationship has become unbalanced.

If someone doesn't respect our boundaries, they're not a healthy partner for us and the relationship isn't healthy." Let's do a check for understanding to see how you're doing with this learning cycle.

Can you complete this sentence with the missing word? Healthy boundaries are blank.

Where I said the word blank, can you decide which word is missing? Pause the video, talk to the people around you, or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that the missing word is non-negotiable, and you could also have the word essential too.

Healthy boundaries are non-negotiable.

Well done if you said the same thing.

We may have boundaries around our time, communication, emotions, our digital lives, so for example, social media and what we're comfortable sharing.

We can also have boundaries around our family, and our finances and personal space too.

Some of our most important boundaries relate to physical and sexual contact.

We can set boundaries on what we're comfortable with, when we want to be touched or when we want to engage in sexual activities, if we want to do this at all.

Dr.

Elsie says that "it's essential that these boundaries are respected in any relationship and they should never be questioned by a partner." This can be a red flag or a sign that the relationship is unhealthy.

We can communicate our boundaries to our partner in lots of different ways.

So, for example, we could say something like, "I'm not ready for that." "That's not something I want to do." "I don't feel comfortable when.

." Or, "Please stop, I don't like that." All of these are ways that we can communicate our boundaries clearly and firmly whilst being respectful too.

There are many different ways in which we can communicate our boundaries.

However, it's always enough to say no, and this is something that we need to remember.

It's okay to just say no if we're not comfortable or ready for something.

Dr.

Elsie reminds us that "no is a complete sentence.

You don't need to give reasons, make excuses, or justify your boundaries.

If someone pressures you for explanations or tries to persuade you and change your mind, that shows that they don't respect your boundaries.

A healthy romantic partner will always accept your no immediately and without question." Let's do another check for understanding, and this time I'd like you to decide if this statement is true or false.

Saying no is enough when communicating boundaries.

What do you think, is this true or false? Pause the video, talk to the people around you, or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that this is true.

It's true that saying no is enough when communicating boundaries, and a healthy partner in a healthy relationship will always accept when we say no.

Well done if you said the same thing.

Boundaries should be respected mutually.

We respect our partner's limits and they respect ours.

If this isn't mutual, relationships become unbalanced and people feel pressured or unsafe in the relationship.

Ms. Walsh says that "we should never feel pressured to do things that we don't want to do, and we should never compromise our boundaries to make someone else happy.

If you feel that your boundaries are being pushed or that you're experiencing any pressure, it's important that you speak to a trusted adult." Let's do another check for understanding, and I'd like you to finish this sentence.

Boundaries should be respected.

A, by one partner only.

B, by neither partner.

Or C, mutually.

What do you think? Pause the video, talk to the people around you, or have to think to yourself.

Well done if you said that the correct answer is C, mutually.

Boundaries should be respected mutually, so by both partners in a relationship.

Well done if you got this right.

We're now moving on to our final practice task, and well done for your hard work in this lesson.

For the first part of this task, I'd like you to answer this question.

How could Jenna express her boundaries to her partner? Jenna says, "My partner wants to have sex, but I'm not ready yet.

I don't know what to do because I know it would make them happy." How could Jenna express her boundaries to her new partner? And for the second part of this task, I'd like you to explain why boundaries are important.

Pause the video and we'll go through some model answers in a few minutes.

Okay, let's see what you might have said.

You might have said that for question one, how could Jenna express her boundaries to her partner? You might have said that Jenna could tell her partner clearly that she's not ready for sex.

She could say, "I'm not ready for that," or simply, "No." A healthy partner will accept this boundary immediately without questioning or pressuring her.

If her partner doesn't respect her boundaries, they're not a healthy partner for Jenna and she should speak to a trusted adult.

For the second part of this task, explain why boundaries are important.

You might have said that boundaries are important because they help us to feel safe, comfortable, and respected in relationships.

They protect our sense of individuality and wellbeing.

Boundaries are non-negotiable.

We should never have to compromise what we're comfortable with to make someone else happy.

And when boundaries are respected mutually, both partners feel secure and their relationship remains balanced.

Well done if your answers to the task were anything like this.

We're now going to summarize the key learning from today's lesson.

In today's lesson we've learned that a healthy romantic relationship requires respect, trust, communication, and boundaries.

These must be mutual.

Respect means treating your partner fairly and supporting them.

Trust develops through honest behavior and makes relationships feel secure, but it can be easily broken.

Communication means expressing thoughts and feelings respectfully, not avoiding conflict entirely.

Boundaries are non-negotiable limits about what we're comfortable with and must always be respected.

If any of these qualities are missing or one-sided in a relationship, the relationship becomes unhealthy.

If you feel pressured or that your boundaries are not being respected fully, speak to a trusted adult.

During this lesson, you might have found you've got some worries or questions, and if you do it's really important that you share these with a trusted adult.

There's also some resources on the screen that are there to support you too.

Well done for your hard work today.

I hope to see you again soon.