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I'm Mrs. Crompton.

Welcome to today's English lesson.

Our focus today is class analysis of the writer's methods.

You will need a pen and paper.

Take a moment to make sure you've cleared any distractions away and have everything you need to hand.

To begin with, we have a quick recap of the skills that we have been exploring as we have begun our study of on scene non-fiction material.

So we have considered how to summarise the main events.

We have thought about thoughts and feelings.

We've looked at the writer's perspective.

Today we're going to be considering writer's methods, and we have reflected on big picture ideas.

To begin with today, what I would like you to do, is to take a piece of paper and give yourself the heading of subject terminology, non-fiction texts.

Now, just going back to subject terminology, it gives our analysis strength just as a skeleton does for our body.

It gives us structure, so that when we are noticing things within a passage, and we want to comment on a writers language use, we have the subject terminology to pin those observations down, and to really draw down into the effects.

So what we're going to do, is to continue to dip back into our subject terminology toolkit, if you will.

And we will make sure that we are familiarising ourselves with any new terminology that might be helpful, in order to help us further strengthen those responses.

So let's have a little look.

Now the first few should be relatively familiar.

And I think that's a really good thing that we've got the crossover from our fiction texts into our non-fiction texts.

So nouns, adjectives, verbs, adverbs, those are always going to be our bread and butter of analysis.

Under the umbrella of figurative language, we would include similes, metaphors, personification, et cetera.

So that's a really useful point to remember, just because it is not creative writing as such, it doesn't mean that our writers are not going to draw upon those techniques within their work.

Now I've put in repetition, because that's quite a common feature.

And it's worth just noticing that within our subject terminology list, particularly in a non-fiction text, where emphasis of a particular detail might be important.

So if we can just make sure we've got those particular details down.

What I'm going to do in a moment, is to go through the final four in a little bit more detail.

Okay, so pronouns.

Pronouns can be used for particular effect, specifically in something like a speech.

So if we think about the use of a pronoun in a speech, when the writer says, 'we' and 'us', they begin to create a feeling of consensus between the writers opinion and the reader, or the audience responding to that.

Similarly, the use of 'they', 'you' and 'them' can create a sense of opposition.

So that's the first one that I wanted to unpick a little bit further, the use of pronouns very useful to keep an eye on.


Now, I am aware of the fact that various people do use terminology such as a syndetic and or asyndetic list.

So I thought this would be a good time to distinguish between the two and just to make sure that everybody has that terminology within their toolkit.

So a syndetic list, is a list where, a conjunction is used to connect the items within the list, so we would have 'and', 'or', 'if', 'so'.

An asyndetic list separates the terms with a comma.

Syndetic, asyndetic.

Anaphora, is the repetition of a word or phrase at the beginning of a clause or sentence that follow one another.

So when a word or phrase is repeated at the beginning of clauses or sentences that follow each other.

Again, it's a technique often used in speeches.

Think about Martin Luther King's, I Have a Dream.

the phrase I Have a Dream is repeated as a phrase at the beginning of several lines.

Winston Churchill, We will fight them on the beaches, or An Inspector Calls.

A lot of you will be familiar with that text when the inspector stops the action, there are millions, there are millions, it's repeated several times with phrasing, with slight alterations within this construction.

So it's the repetition of a word or phrase, to create emphasis.

Finally, emotive language.

And this is really quite distinctive within a non-fiction extract, because fundamentally they are quite factual in nature and turn.

However, emotive responses can be evoked with the choice of a word.

Say for example, we wanted to argue against eating meat.

Now, you could just say, that keeping animals just breeding animals just for our food is cruel.

Leave at that, if you then choose to add in language like slaughtered, kept cooped up, et cetera.

We are beginning to create an emotional response.

Okay, so just a look about when we recap.

Little bit of a pit stop with subject terminology.

And now we will begin to look at our passage for today.

So the first thing that we're going to do, is to read a passage with a focus in mind.

So you can see that our question is, how does the writer use language to show a sense of control? So the first reading of this passage, it's not overly long, is going to be around this idea of sense of control, there is a focus to our language observation.

As you read, you can begin to consider any relevant evidence, you can begin to make the link back to the subject terminology work we've just been doing and think about word class.

But fundamentally, you are thinking about the idea of a sense of control.

How is this language showing that Ralston wants to create a sense of control in his work.


So control is over to you your turn, have your first read through, start to get familiar, start to generate your ideas.

And welcome back.

So we've had our first reading, we're going to conduct a second reading, so you will see the passage again in a moment.

However, we're now going to think about building a response.

And in order to build our response, our instructions are to select relevant details times three, so three good quotations, rich quotations, with an anchor quotation, and a linking between the three quotations.

Let's remind ourselves of the success criteria we have seen before.

How does the writer use language to show a sense of control? What do we need to do? Well, we need to show that we understand the text.

We need to make sure that we select rich evidence, which maintains the focus on the question we've been set and also analyses with the consideration of what is happening within the passage.

And then this final bit, I'm just going to pause and read with you.

We need to link one selection to the other.

The question doesn't say pick a few language features.

It asks you to think about how the language works to make meaning.

That's the key when looking at how the language connects and is working effectively together to make the meaning.


So this is how you're going to do this.

You're going to take your piece of paper and draw your three clouds around landscape again, give you lots of space, so that you can then work through your evidence.

Select the three rich quotations, and begin your annotation, your exploding of the quotations, thinking particularly about the links and connections you are generating to show how meaning is being created.

That's the extract again.

So I'll take it back to the beginning and hand over control to you.

I'll be waiting for you as soon as you are ready.

And welcome back.

So we are now ready to write.

So what we're going to do, is to write up our response breaking it down into little sections starting with our anchor quotation, then building out to the second and third quotations and then completing with an overview statement.

Conclusion at the end.

Before we begin that, I thought it might be useful just to share with you my selection and my planning sheet for my anchor quotation and two additional quotations to answer our question of how the sense of control is created.

So you can see in the middle I have put my anchor quotation, I don't think to verbalise the pain, is a part of this experience, no more important to the procedure than the colour of my tourniquet.

Now, you might be thinking, well, Mrs. Crompton, that's not a very exciting quotation to select.

It's not rich enough.

However, I want to demonstrate to you why I chose that quotation and how it is a rich quotation that directly answers the question, and also sets up my overview and my debate that I want to create throughout my piece of analysis.

So we've got the starting point, I don't think to verbalise the pain, semicolon.

And I'm actually going to comment on the sentence construction, and the use of these very balanced clauses and punctuation to separate out thoughts which demonstrate the sense of control.

So punctuation is where I'm going to go for my first comment.

I'm then going to comment on the noun choice of procedure to talk about what's happening.

Ralston doesn't talk about it in a dramatic way, he doesn't want to make it this really shocking moment.

Procedure is again, a selection deliberately placed in the writing to demonstrate his sense of control.

So you can now say that my anchor quotation is rich.

I also want to have this idea of Ralston battling with this and flipping that a little bit as I progress through my analysis, that he has to deliberately make himself work through the situation and generate this control.

My second quotation is a simile, so it's a little bit more obvious.

And it also picks up on one of the common features of the language use that we have noticed together, which is that he uses very everyday references like the box-packaging tape, which downplays what is actually quite a graphic moment within the event.

My final selection offers me another alternative for my analysis because I've picked a short sentence, grip, squeeze, twist, tear, four verbs in their command verbs in nature.

And it's also a list.

So I've deliberately selected different bits of language, that combine together to generate my meaning, but also give me lots of rich opportunity to make different comments about languages.

So I share that with you now, just as a reflection point before you begin to write.

The first part of your writing.

I'm also going to kick start by giving you a starter sentence.

So Ralston uses language to present his newly energised sense of control, because he's been quite low beforehand.

It talked about just waiting for the inevitable, but now he is energised, he's doing rather than just waiting.

You then insert your anchor quotation, follow the instructions at the effect of the and drill down into the method.

Moving on to then, zoom in, unpick the quotation further, constantly making sure that your explanations relate to the context of the passage.

So that is the first part of our slur right, back over to you.

I'll be waiting for you with the next instruction when you are ready to resume.

And welcome back.

So now we're going to repeat the steps and work through your linking quotations, and literally just doing what you have done, but this time you're going to work through point two and point three, thinking about your linking language.

So this is reinforced by, this is contrasted by et cetera.

Okay, so again, control is over to you, resume when you are ready.

And we're ready for our final conclusion.

So this conclusion should allow you to step back, give a summary of the overall effect and consider any big picture ideas.

Again, we have a couple of sentences to get you started and a thinking point of maybe thinking back to the beginning, and your big picture statement that you made in your introduction.

Control is over to you.

And welcome back.

So you have a piece of writing, you've worked through the steps, we've gone through the planning, right the way through to the execution of the writing.

Now, we've done this before.

But what I wanted to do, at this stage is to add in the idea of looking at a model answer, but really now stepping up the level of critique that we are doing of our own work.

So what I want to do, and we've got success criteria, again there for us, is to draw your attention to the colour coding that I've put into the model answer.

And these are things that I also want you to reward yourself for when you have achieved them in your own answers.

So all of my quotations, they are the ones that I shared with you from my plan at the beginning and my clouds are picked out in pink.

I have then, picked out my subject terminology in purple.

So it's really obvious where I have included my subject terminology.

And it's a small detail.

However, it can identify a gap.

If you're not doing it, you can very quickly see.

So if you did have any highlighters with you right now, it might be quite a useful thing to do.

And it could be that that's the area that you need to work on moving forwards.

The main thing I want us to work on now, is the quality of our expression and how we're linking one idea into the next.

What we ultimately want to achieve, is an answer where it feels like all the way through, we're travelling towards a set destination of the final paragraph that we can feel the analysis building towards it.

So I have picked out as you can see in orange, some of my linking language, okay.

So what I'm going to do, is to actually read through the model answer, and just to articulate some of the decisions I was making, I will then give you control to really spend time celebrating all of your successes, and also then really critiquing and identifying your next steps for improvement.

Okay, so let's start at the beginning, Ralston uses language to present his newly energised sense of control.

You recognise that part, but I've added it in after initially feeling despondent and resigned to his fate, because I want to then connect that in my conclusion.

So I've set up my argument, Ralston uses language to present his newly energised sense of control after initially feeling despondent and resigned to his fate.

When he tells us, I don't think to verbalise the pain, it's the part of the experience, the use of the semicolon, adds to the reflective and calm turn of the statement sentence.

So look at how, the ideas that I shared with you have now actually been expressed in writing, so it's the precision, that you need to consider at that point.

This is reinforced by the use of the noun procedures, so I'm still working with same piece of evidence, and I've drilled back down and gone to the noun procedure, which I told you I would when I was articulating that earlier, to describe his act of amputating his arm.

Additionally, Ralston is comfortable in describing the details of the surgery in an objective, almost casual manner.

So I'm now connecting and bridging between my anchor quotation out to my second one.

When describing a sawing through a tendon, he articulates it as like a doubly thick strip of reinforced box-packaging tape.

The contrast between the onomatopoeic present participle verb sawing.

And the domestic image in the simile, doubly thick strip of reinforced box packaging tape, adds to his controlled demeanour.

So I'm deliberately making sure that I am using my subject terminology to really pinpoint what it is that I am noticing.

So what I noticed was that sawing, is really graphic.

But then, the reinforced box packaging tape is really normal.

I've noticed that they go together.

So I wanted to express that and that is what I have done by talking about the fact that sawing is onomatopoetic.

I can hear it in my head.

And that's where the graphic nature comes from.

And then we've got the domestic nature of the image really carefully unpicking within my analysis, but still haven't stopped.

He is able to separate himself from the immediate situation and give a precise account with a reference point in the box-packaging tape that his reader can understand.

So I'm now further explaining, the everyday nature of the item also creates a hyperbolic effect.

So the fact that box-packaging tape, really normal, really mundane, when I've got this subject terminology of hyperbolic, so it actually underplays the emotion.

As a bridging comment now, between this and the next section, I have got the following statement.

It's worth acknowledging that this is an autobiographical retrospective piece.

However, Ralston is choosing to present this moment as methodical and controlled.

At the end of the extract, we have the syndetic listing of grip, squeeze, twist, tear.

Again, the language is procedural and even though the ferocity of the verbs increases, there is a rhythmic control to the line, which does not add any further detail to generate drama or emotion.

So I considered the effect of asyndetic list.

There's no point in just saying that's asyndetic list, grip, squeeze, twist, tear.

And what I've actually said is, even though what's happening seems to get more ferocious when you get something tearing at the end.

Starting with gripping at the beginning, we can see that there's an escalation.

There is also simultaneously through the use of the commas, a rhythm that is generated, which actually makes it seem quite calm, rather than making it dramatic.

I have really tried to articulate the impact of the listing, because that's the key.

Subject terminology on its own means nothing.

It is actually there to support my observations, not to drive them.

Final conclusion.

Overall, Ralston is completely focused in this passage.

His controlled persona has been born out of the most extreme circumstance, but he is determined to overcome the obstacles in his way.

So I've gone back to focus of the question and talked about control.

And I've also introduced this idea of obstacles.

His arm is a metaphor of his battle with himself to control his mind and consequently conquer his environment.

So I've got my little clinching comment at the end of that I'm so are proud of where I've tried to bring in my big picture interpretation and said in the immediate, he is in battle with himself, and that is made apparent through the metaphor of his battle with his arm, and that in turn will lead to him conquering his environment.

Okay, so yes it's detailed.

Yes it's precise.

Base the mechanics of it that I want you to notice and how it has been built as an answer from the anchor quotations that I shared to you with the cloud analysis around them right the way through to this stage where it turns into a final response.

To take back control, what I would like you to do, is to concentrate on two things.

Number one, recognise all of the positives of what you've achieved by thinking about the success criteria, and also the colour coding.

So mark those and celebrate those successes, but equally, identify where you can still improve.

We can always improve, we can always add to our work and I want it to be really clear in your minds, where you want to be working in the future, what you want to concentrate on as we progress through our learning together.

Okay, so control is over to you.

A very careful self reflection and marking of your work.

All that remains for me to say today is thank you for your focus.

Enjoy the rest of your learning today and I will see you for lesson five very soon.