Lesson video

Welcome to today's English lesson.

I'm Mrs. Crompton.

Before we begin our learning, let's make sure we have everything we need.

You will need a pen and paper, take a moment to make sure you've cleared any distractions away and have everything you need at hand.

So today's focus is reviewing our analysis skills, and we're going to look at a new part of our novel called "Mountain." First of all, we have a reminder of our key terminology and analysing fiction text, and you can see the list down the left-hand side, And if you remember, the skeleton represents the fact that this subject terminology will provide the backbone, the strength behind our analytical comment.

The more precise we can be in our use of subject terminology, it strengthens the quality and precision of the analysis that we're able to produce.

What We're going to do then, is to have a look at a new part of the extract that I haven't shared with you previously.

So I will read through this with you, whilst I'm reading what I want you to concentrate on are the following: First of all, what's happening.

You really need to have that understanding of the actual events in this passage first and foremost.

We've got our question at the top of the screen.

How does the writer use language to describe Inman's wound? So we've got a very specific focus.

And in relation to that focus, I have picked out in orange various details from the passage that address the focus.

So that's to guide your reading on the first experience too.

Along the bottom, I have put our subject terminology.

So you can also start to think about how the that links in with what you are reading, okay? You're going to see this again.

So please don't worry about trying to do everything, but I just wanted to point those aspects out to you.

So I will read, you can track and you can start doing the connecting as you go along.

At the hospital, the doctors look at him and said there was not much they could do.

He might live, or he might not.

They gave him but a grey rug and a little basin to clean his own wound.

Those first few days, when he broke consciousness enough to do it, he wiped at his neck with the rag until the water in the basin was the colour of the curve on a turkey-cock.

But mainly the wound had wanted to clean itself.

Before it started scabbing, it spit out a number of things: a collar button and a piece of wall colour from the shirt he had been wearing when he was hit, a shard of soft grey metal as big as a quarter dollar piece, and, unaccountably, something that closely resembled a peach pit.

That last he set on the nightstand and studied for some days.

He could never settle his mind on whether it was a part of him or not.

He finally threw it out the window but then had troubling dreams that had taken root and grown, like Jack's bean, into something monstrous.

Okay, so that's our first reading of the extract.

And again, before we move on, let's remind ourselves of what we need to do when we approach an analytical response.

So we have three strands.

We need to number one, demonstrate that we understand the text, we need to number two, select rich evidence and then we need to number three, link the evidence.

So if we just glance down our criteria there, understand the text.

You've being asked to look at a small portion of the text but it is important to think about the whole extract.

So we've got that whole extract of Inman being in the hospital, and his desire eventually to leave.

So this is a little segment from within that's that whole extract.

The language used here, is also part of our overall big picture interpretation.

So when we look at this, we need to be thinking about those big picture ideas.

Second column ,we're going to select two or three key quotations, and that's all.

You need to make sure you can control your analysis of these quotations, and make sure your focus remains on the effect of the words in relation to the context of the passage.

So, Inman is stuck in the hospital bed, his looking out of the window, he doesn't want to fight anymore.

And we've got all of those ideas going on, as he's trying to clean his wound and he's trying to take control of this situation.

Finally, we need to make sure that the evidence that we select links, the question doesn't say pick a few language features, it asks you to think about how the language works to make meaning.

If possible trying to demonstrate the big picture.

So we've got all of these things, that we are attempting to do as we come to our passage.

So what we going to do now, is as follows.

You need to pause as you require for this next section.

The first thing you definitely need to do is to pause and draw three clouds, as we have done in the past, on a piece of paper, positioning it in a landscape way so that you can get all of the clouds on, and if you remember in the middle cloud, you're going to place your anchor quotation.

You are then going to select two further quotations that you can link into your anchor quotation.

So different, briefly I will remind you of what that's going to look like.

We've got the anchor quotation in the central cloud, we've then got additional selections of evidence and they feed into the anchor quotation.

So you're going to draw that on your piece of paper, okay? And in order to help you to do that, I'm also going to present to you the passage again, with all of the prompts that I gave you originally.

So, navigate your way through the next few slides, pausing as you need to, first of all, draw the clouds up, then, start to select your evidence.

Remember as we're doing this, when you get to the lines you're thinking about what you're going to say, we need to make sure that we are exploding these quotations, thinking about the connotations.

This should take you 10 minutes to work your way through approximately.

Okay, I will see you at the other side for our next instruction.

Welcome back, so the next thing we are going to do is to actually write up our findings.

And what we're going to do is to go back to the analytical writing framework that I have used with you previously.

Again, you're going to need to pause.

So, when you come from this screen to the next one that's where I want you to pause.

I will just demonstrate you've got the instruction here have a good read of that, and then you've got the first slide that you need to work through, before you resume the video.

Okay, So we're going to use our rich quotation and plan to write a power responses to the question.

How does the writer use language to describe Inman's wound? So you're going to start with your anchor quotation in the middle, and then, we're going to work through the first few steps.

You've got the overview statement and the anchor quotation put in the middle and your analysis of the anchor quotation.

It is over to you.

Pause on the next slide, once you've read the instruction and understood it, fresh piece of paper begin the first part of your analysis.

And welcome back again.

So what we're now going to do, is to write the next stage of our response, and you have a series of sentence starters, and now you know the drill they will appear on the next slide, work your way through the sentence starters, and remember, we're still working on the question, how does the writer use language to describe Inman's wound? It's just one slide, once you've completed those resume, and then I will give you the next stage of our analysis.

Now, here we go again.

we're going to repeat the steps this time and work through the linking quotations.

So you've got the model we're now working through, building in those final two quotations.

Again, the prompts are there to support you through this process.

Pause, one slide only, restart and I will be there again.

And our final step, so we're going to give our concluding comments, by thinking about the overall effect and bringing in any big picture ideas.

Walk through the next slide, pause, I will again be there.

Before you restart the video, can I ask you to just read through the whole of the response? It might be that you want to just make a few refinements to phrasing.

Sometimes when we write in disjointed way like this it's really great for breaking the process down, but we do need to do that editing process where we go back through the whole thing.

So what I would like you to do, is to follow the next slide, then reread everything before you read again the video, and I will be there with a model answer, for us to look at together.

See you soon.

Welcome back.

So I'm going to read a model answer with you, so that you can absorb it.

And hopefully you've just re-read your own pace, because that was the instruction I gave you and I know you will have listened to it.

And what we're going to do, is first of all reread the whole response together, and I'm going to pick out a few features with you.

You're then going to have the assessment criteria to look at our success criteria from the beginning of the lesson, and then you're going to see this response again, for you to judge your own work against that.

So let's work through this together.

How does the writer use language to describe Inman's wound? The writer uses language to describe Inman's wound as a separate entity.

Although it is part of his body, he describes its healing in a detached manner, highlighting his lack of control, of whether he lives or dies.

So we've got this initial overview statement, and we've got this idea that the wound seems to be separate.

And the wound seems to have its own control, and Inman at this point, as a man who is struggling to gain control of so many aspects of his life, doesn't even have control of his own body.

So there's my overview statement, and I've gone for something quite ambitious.

And I've also commented on the way that it's described in quite a detached manner.

It feels like Inman's almost watching himself, go through this experience rather than physically feeling it.

We don't get or it hurts so much, it was really painful.

We don't get any of that sentimental detail test.

That's my first part.

And then I'm following the formula.

The use of personification, mainly the wound had wanted to clean itself highlights his lack of control, and is reinforced when the wound is described as spitting out a number of objects.

So I've then got my key quotation, I've put in a supporting piece of evidence to, and I'm now linking in and developing my analysis of it.

The violent verbs spit, suggests turn of disgust on the parts of the wound, expelling alien objects in order to protect Inman's body.

He in turn, seems passive to the activity, and continues to observe.

So I'm linking back to my initial idea, that Inman doesn't seem to be, sort of in possession of his own body, and he's watching rather than participating.

Another method now, the use of listing, in a collar button, and a piece of wool collar and a shot of soft grey metal as big as a quarter dollar piece, again, reinforces the external nature of the objects.

So I've commented on the use of the list, and why is it that? It's to really show how alien they are, how they shouldn't be that in his body.

And so we've got this idea of, things not belonging and in may not being in control, really developing throughout this abstract.

So there's a thread of interpretation that's holding the whole thing together.

The list seems quite mundane in nature.

So look, I've not left it, I've carried on, when you've got a rich quotation, you mind that quotation and you pick out as much as possible.

So the list seems quite mundane in nature, a button and a piece of wall are not lethal items. Even the violence of 'shard' of metal, the actual bullet that has caused Inman's injury, is reduced by the adjectival pre modification of 'soft grey' when describing the metal.

I'm just showing off a little bit there on-site I put in the fancy bit.

Pre-modification just means it comes before.

And what I'm saying there is that, the introduction of the 'shard' of metal with, the initial piece of information the pre-modification 'soft grey', makes it seem suddenly non-threatening, perhaps just a fancy way of putting that.

But, this is the type of analysis she can build.

If you've got your call subject terminology, you can then use it and add in things like pre-modification, and we've also got the phrase post modification, guess what? That just means it comes after.

Then we can start having little details and being a little bit more confident, the list ends with an object that looks like a 'peach pit'.

Frazier's use of the simile and reference to this as being, "like Jack's bean," emphasises the surreal nature of the whole event for Inman.

The reference to a fairytale reminds us that Inman wishes to escape this situation.

I've gone big picture now.

As he externalises the wound, he is really separating himself from the war and his role in it.

And I've tried to show.

The person who's looking at my answer, you, I'm trying to show you, please like my answer.

So I've tried to show you that, I have understood that actually Inman's not happy in this situation, and materialised by is his actual body fighting with itself to expel, not just the alien objects, but to rid himself of the war from within his body.

So that was my attempt at writing up using the evidence that has been provided.

What I would like you to do now, is to read that model answer again, and to assess against the success criteria.

Once you have completed it, please restart at this point.

Really take your time.

You can see, that I have spent time choosing the words, that I used in my model answer.

And I think now it's really important that we start to refine our responses, and start to sharpen vocabulary wherever we can.

So please do, borrow sentences and phrases.

It's not copying.

It's about using a structure that's going to benefit you next time round.

So if there are words and phrases that I've used, look them up, find out more about them, try and get those phrases down.

It's all going to support your future work.

The success criteria is there for you, and then as I said, the answer.

So it's over to you, you are in charge of when you pause and restart, and I will be there waiting for you at the other end.

To finish the learning for today, you have a recap quiz to complete.

All that remains for me to say, is thank you for your focus, and enjoy the rest of your learning today.