Lesson video

Hello again! Hello again, it's Ms. Waddell.

We are coming to the end of our Aladdin unit.

I'm sad.

But we're going to be editing today.

Editing is very important.

So, we'll do a bit together and then you'll have a go yourself.

Let's go.

Okay, let's look at what we're going to do in this lesson.

We're going to have a warm up, as usual, then we're going to think about the purpose, the point, of editing.

Why it's important.

Then we're going to have a go, together.

And then you are going to edit your own work as an independent task.

What you will need.

You will need your exercise book or some paper.

Well, you'll really need your climax writing, so the writing that you did for your climax, and a pencil.

So that's the really crucial thing because you're going to be writing on top of the work you've already done.

So if you haven't got that yet, go and get it now.

Pause the video.

Okay, let's do our warm up.

Ooh, let's just check these spellings.

So, first one.

The reins on a horse do you spell it like that? Or do you spell it like that? Point to the one that you think is the correct spelling.

This way or this way? Ready, steady.

this one.

It looks weird, that's just how you spell it.

The reins on a horse are spelt like that.

Okay, next one.

"Galloped" or "galloped"? Left or right? Three, two, one, point! It's that one.

So, that ones a funny one because usually it's G-A-L-L-O- It's a short O sound, so you would expect to double the consonant, but with galloped that's not how it works.

It's two L's and one P.

So you give it like G-O-L-L-O-P-E-D maybe.

It's a way to remember it.

"Beatle" or "beetle"? Point to the one you think it is.

Point to the one you think it is.

It's that one.

So it's an E, not E cup of tea.

So, just make sure that is right in your writing in a moment.

We've got "ground", "ow shout it out", or "grownd".

Oh, gave you a clue.

Which one do you think it is? Left or right? Point to it now.

Yeah, I gave you a clue.

It's "ow shout it out" because in the other one you can see the word grow is in there and so that says grownd.

Not groaned as in.

But it's not actually a word, but that's how you'd sound it out.

Okay, this one? This or this? I'm not going to say it because that'll give you too big a clue.

Which one was right for how he was holding onto the reins? Point to it! Yeah, it's this one and I didn't say it out because I know it's that one because it's G-R-I- short vowel sound.

So that's double the consonant, double P, instead of the other one is- That way.

Is griped.

Like the I split E, so that's not the right spelling.

If you have got any of those words in your writing, just go back and change the spelling to the correct one or check that it's right.

Pause and check now.

Okay, now we're going to think about the purpose of editing.

What is editing? Editing is reading your work carefully, I always read it aloud, correcting any mistakes, re-writing things that you think don't sound right or say what you want them to say, and it's generally making your work better.

And it's a really, really important skill.

All famous writers, all writers in fact, do it in some way.

So, one way that you edit is you edit whilst writing, like we've been doing, we've been correcting and improving as we go.

And another way is, this should be number two, is edit after writing.

So sometimes it really helps to go back with fresh eyes and just read it aloud to yourself and make sure it says what you think it will say.

And first draught should never be your final draught.

Sometimes you write something and you put all your effort into it and you just want to leave it for a bit, and that's okay.

You can go back with fresh eyes the next day, after you've had a good sleep and have a go then.

And that's kind of what we're doing today, isn't it? So, here's an example of some of my favourite books where obviously, of course, they've had lots of editing.

And they were definitely not as good as they are now, when they were first written.

There are people who's job it is to edit, but first the author has to edit, so we definitely need to do some editing.

Really? Do we really have to? Let's have a look at this.

"A panda eats, shoots and leaves." "A panda eats shoots and leaves." Now, it says the same but does it say the same? It means something totally different.

Let's have a look.

"A panda eats, shoots and leaves." He shoots! Because that's a list of the things he's doing and the comma splits up the words in a list.

Or is it that a panda eats shoots and leaves.

So it's super important where we put our commas because it can mean something totally different and not what we intend.

Scary pandas.

Now we're going to have a go at practising.

Here is something I wrote.

"In an instant the beatle ran off into the darkness.

Its wings left sparks as it disappeared into the darkness suddenly Jafar's horse reared up galloped wildly after his treasure." What do you think? Medium? Little bit up.

Little bit up needs a bit of help, I'd say.

Can you please see if you can spot- I've got ten, ten, ten, ten, ten, mistakes in there.

See if you can spot them.

Pause and point them out, see if you can count them on your fingers.

Ready? Pause now.

Okay.

Did you get ten? Don't worry if you didn't get all of them.

Let's have a look at what they are.

So I forgot my comma after my fronted adverbial.

"In an instant, the beetle", so I spelt that wrong, "ran off into the dark", I missed a letter, "darkness.

Its", oh my arrow's in slightly the wrong place.

"Its" should not have an apostrophe because it's not- you don't have an apostrophe for possession.

It's not belonging to "its", it's only when it says "it is", do you remember from our previous lesson? "Its wings left sparks as it disappeared into the darkness." Full stop, capital letter.

I'd forgotten my full stop and capital letter.

Comma, "Jafar's horse", I've done a crazy one there, "reared up and" I missed out a word.

It wasn't really there.

"Galloped wildly after his treasure." Full stop.

Did you get all of them? Really well done if you did.

Don't worry if you didn't, it's fine Just keep trying.

Okay, so now I want to edit to see if I can improve it.

Have I succeeded in what I wanted to do? How can I improve it? Can you pause and have a think about how I can improve this? Pause now.

I can see or hear, or feel even, that you've done some really good thinking.

These are some of the things that I've spotted, they might not be the same as you, but these are places where I think it could be improved.

"In an instant, the something beetle", I don't think ran is the best choice there, "off into the darkness.

It's wings left", I want to describe the sparks, "as it disappeared into the darkness.

Suddenly, Jafar's horse reared up and galloped wildly after his treasure." And then I've got a big long gap there because I don't think I've covered all the action that needs to be there.

I worked really hard on my sentences and it's definitely quality being more important than quantity.

You don't have to write lots, it's just that it has to be really quality, good quality.

But I think I haven't quite finished all the things that need to go in that story.

Can you have a go and see if you can decide- you don't have to write the whole thing out, just write the word that could go in either of the gaps and then maybe one more sentence to help me on my way to get all the action that I need.

Pause the video.

Really well done for your efforts.

Here are some suggestions that I might have made to go in those gaps.

"In an instant, the magical beetle zoomed", instead of ran because it didn't even run.

"Off into the darkness.

Zing!", exclamation mark, because I thought that might go in there as well.

"It's wings left fiery sparks as it disappeared into the darkness.

Suddenly, Jafar's horse reared up and galloped wildly after his treasure." And then this is the bit that I thought was more action that needed to go in there.

"When it finally came to a halt, the bug had disappeared." It's a nice complex sentence.

"Below his feet, the ground began violently to tremble.

In front of his eyes, a monstrous cave erupted from the sand." So, that was just the last bit that I hadn't had time to get in there and I just thought it would be good to make sure that all the action is there.

So look how much better it is.

Now, it's going to be your turn.

Make sure that you have checked your capital letters.

Check your proper nouns, so any capital letters for proper nouns.

Check your spelling, use a dictionary if you're not sure.

Check your punctuation, think about your commas, your full stops and your apostrophes.

And even an exclamation mark if it can get in there.

Check for sense, does it sound right? And then add any improvements to make your writing more ambitious.

So I want you to pause the video.

I'll leave that checklist on there for you.

It's not tell you what you have to include, just what you need to check.

So, pause now and then resume, to make sure you edit your writing, and resume when you've finished.

Well done.

I bet it's so much better.

You've done such hard work when you wrote that climax bit.

You can always, always tweak it and make it a little bit better.

I hope you used your notes, that might help you, but also all the strategies that we've been through.

So, we've just got one more lesson after this together.

You've been working so hard.

Give yourself a really big- maybe a round of applause.

Bye!.