Lesson video

Hi everybody and welcome to our lesson today.

So in today's lesson, we are going to be developing our knowledge of the historical context of the Windrush a little bit further.

We're also going to make sure we understand what the features of a diary entry are.

As this is going to be our first writing outcome of this unit.

So here is today's learning objective to identify the features of a diary entry.

This is lesson number three of ten and it's our first writing outcome for this unit.

In this lesson, you will need your exercise book or paper, your pen or pencil, and your very best learning brain.

And make sure to pause the video if you need to take a moment to go and get anything.

So today's agenda.

Firstly, we're going to read through a model of a diary entry.

Then we are going to consider the PALLP.

Now, if you're not sure what PALLP means, don't worry because we're going to talk about that in a lot more detail later in the lesson.

And finally, we're going to think about what the features of a diary entry are.

So in our last lesson, we learned about the migrants who travelled from Jamaica to England on the Empire Windrush in 1948.

A migrant is a person who travels from one country to another often because they have the opportunities for better jobs or better life or a better quality of life in a different country.

How would you feel if you were told that you and your family would be migrating to Jamaica next week.

Have a think, would your reaction be positive? Would you be super excited to go? Would you be running upstairs to go and start packing up your bags straight away? Would you be telling all your friends and telling them all about your amazing adventure or would it be negative? Would you be upset about leaving your home in the United Kingdom and travelling to another country the other side of the world, what do you think? Have some thinking time.

Imagine how it would have felt.

Okay so now we're going to read some models.

We're going to read a couple of examples of different diary entries from different points of view or perspectives to see how different people reacted in different ways.

So we're going to read through this together.

First of all, I'm going to read, and then you can pause the video if you would like to, to read through yourself.

So dear diary, I am still in shock.

Today has been one of the most overwhelming days of my life.

Today was the day that I learned we are going to be moving to England.

As I sit here, looking out over Kingston, my heart is beating at a million miles an hour in anticipation as questions, race through my mind.

What will England be like? Will it be hot like Jamaica? Where will we live? Will we be able to find work? It all began when my husband arrived back in Jamaica, having been discharged from the British Royal Air Force.

He had served for two years and had been based in Oxford, which he described as a quaint picturesque city.

For the last two months, he has been rambling on about moving the whole family to England.

He is so enthusiastic.

He will hardly chat about anything else.

This morning, he woke up particularly early seeing as he doesn't have a job and rushed down to Kingston Harbour, where there was a meeting for ex service people.

While he was there, I cooked ackee and saltfish for the kids before I sent them off to their primary school.

Like Kingston is the capital city of Jamaica.

So let's go through some of this vocabulary together.

So a quaint picturesque city where these are two adjectives.

This is an expanded nine phrase adjective comma adjective nine.

Now I'm not sure what the word quaint and picturesque mean, so we're going to go through those together on the next slide.

While he was there I cooked ackee and salt fish.

Now we know by the colour that this is a nine, that sounds like a dish that this person was cooking for her children or his children.

And here's a picture.

So it's a very traditional Jamaican dish ackee and saltfish.

Okay and here we have the word quaint, quaint your turn.

Well done.

So this is an adjective, meaning charming or picturesque, like a pretty old fashioned cottage.

So the city of Oxford was described as quaint.

Picturesque, your turn Fantastic.

So an adjective again, meaning attractive or scenic like a village so pretty.

It could be on a postcard.

And there's a little clue there the word picturesque I can see the word picture inside it.

So it means that it's almost as that saying as pretty as a picture, it looks like it should be a picture on a postcard because it's so attractive.

So now on to our next paragraph.

Throughout my shift in the hospital, I felt uneasy and when I returned home, I was met with the news.

He has bought tickets for us all to travel on a massive boat, which is departing from Kingston to England.

As he told me the news, his eyes sparkled and his face was flushed with colour.

He was, it seemed ridiculously excited.

When the children returned from school, we told them the news and we were met with screams of joy and what seemed like a million questions.

I am excited too, but apprehensive about leaving my friends, my work and my sister.

I suppose I'll just put on a brave face for them, even though I'm not sure how I feel.

Apprehensive.

To feel apprehensive.

So this person describes themselves as being apprehensive, with this adjective.

Apprehensive your turn.

Well done.

So this is an adjective meaning nervous or afraid.

When you feel worried about a big decision that you've made.

And our final paragraph.

Sitting here now, three words are etched into my mind.

The Empire Windrush.

The words mean nothing to me, but represent the future, a new life and hopefully better opportunities for us.

Despite my stomach still churning, I must go to bed night as tomorrow I need to start packing.

Until then Beverly.

So let's think about the PALLP.

Can you remember from any previous lessons or any previous units, what PALLP stands for? Have some thinking time.

Pause, if you need some time.

Okay everyone, I'm going to reveal what the PALLP stands for.

So the purpose, why was it written? The audience, who was it written for? The language so what type of language is used? Is it formal or informal? The layout so how is it set out on the page? or how information grouped together.

And punctuation.

Is there any key punctuation we would expect to see and any punctuation that we would not expect to see.

So now let's think a little bit more about a diary.

Why do we write diaries? Do you keep a diary at home? And if yes, why do you do that? Pause the video while you have a think.

Okay everyone.

Yes, you're right.

So we do keep diaries for a purpose.

Often if we write in a diary, it's because we want to get our thoughts out of our head and onto the page and write down how we maybe feeling, what we're thinking.

And we write a chronology, or we put things in time order for the events that happened that day.

So we're retelling the story of the day or the week.

Depending on how regularly we write in our diary.

Who's the audience when we write to our diary? Is anyone else going to read it? No, we don't show our diaries to other people.

They shouldn't read your diary because it's private.

So it's really written for us to reread again.

The tone in a diary.

We often write in diaries as if there are really close friends.

So do you think the tone is going to be formal or informal? So remember if we joined me for our letter writing to Sherlock Holmes, that was a very, very formal piece of writing.

Now our diary it's going to be very different because it is going to be very informal.

So that will affect the language we use and the types of punctuation that we use.

We also grip our information together in paragraphs in a diary, and we would start with dear diary and we end with a sign off by signing our name at the end.

And finally linking back to that language and that formality.

We would expect to see things such as contractions or exclamations, or maybe even some ellipsis in a diary, unlike our formal letter to Sherlock Holmes where we would not have expected any of those things.

Okay so now we're going to consider the features of a diary.

On your page I would like you to copy Dyna mind map that looks like this one.

So I've given you one feature.

All diaries, start with the opening dear diary.

And it's important that we remember that diary is a name here.

So it's got to have a capital letter and it finishes with a comma.

Now I would like you to pause the video while you think about what the other features of a diary are, and then we'll share our ideas together.

So I'll see you when you're ready.

Okay everyone so hopefully we've all had to go at mind-mapping some of the features of the diary entry.

Now we're going to come together and share our ideas.

So we put things in chronological order.

We put things in time order or the order in which they happened.

Now to do that I need adverbials of time to tell my reader when things happened.

And I often write in the past tense because I'm talking about things that happened in the past.

So we tell our reader about our feelings.

So we explicitly tell and write about what thoughts and what emotions we are feeling.

We might also include some show not tell where we maybe describe our actions, which give away our feelings.

So we'd be writing in the first person.

So words that we would expect to see might be I or me or we or us, because it's your recon.

So you're retelling the story of your day.

And finally, it's very informal.

So I'd be expecting to see exclamation marks at the end of sentences or contracted words with apostrophes for contractions in there.

Okay.

So now we're going to take what we know, and we're going to try identifying the features in a model.

So you can pause this video, if you would like to add any of these points to your mind map, 'cause you're going to need your mind map for the next task.

Okay everyone so now we're going to use what we know about the features of a diary to try and find those features in a model.

So here's the model that we just looked earlier in this lesson from Beverley Now I want you to pause the video while you look for an example of a sentence that ends in an exclamation mark.

And I would like you to find an example of show not tell.

Off you go.

Okay everyone hopefully you've all find a sentence with an exclamation mark.

So skimming through means we read it quite quickly and we scan which means we are searching for one particular thing, we're searching for an exclamation mark.

Did you find it? Point to if you did.

Well done if you did.

Today has been one of the most overwhelming days of my life.

So this is quite a big statement isn't it? One of the most overwhelming days of my life.

So Beverly has put an exclamation at the end of her sentence to emphasise what a big day this is for her.

Nice I'm show not tell.

So is there anywhere in this sentence that where Beverly describes her actions, which give away how she is feeling.

Pause the video while you look.

Okay everyone, hopefully you've paused the video and you find some show not tell.

here's my example that I could say.

My heart is beating at a million miles an hour.

Imagine your heart beating at a million miles an hour.

It means it's beating so, so fast.

Perhaps Beverly is feeling really stressed and worried about what's going on.

Now onto our next paragraph.

I would like you to find an adverbial of time.

So somewhere in this paragraph, Beverly tells us a bit more information about how long or when something has happened.

There are a few examples here.

Pause the video while you have a search.

Okay I'm going to show you where I find an example of an adverbial of time.

This morning he woke up particularly early, seeing as he doesn't have a job and rushed out into Kingston Harbour, where there was a meeting for ex service people.

Now I've just spotted that I've left something out.

I should have a comma after this morning because this adverbial of time goes at the start of the sentence.

And I know that my fronted adverbials must always have a comma after them.

So it should be this morning comma.

He woke up particularly early.

Okay.

Now I would like you to find an example of a first person.

So some words that we might use, some pronouns that we might see.

I, me, we, us.

Can you find one? Well done, pause if you need more time, when you find it and point to it and said alright.

Here's my example.

I, while he was there, I cooked ackee and salt fish for the kids before I sent them off to their primary school.

Okay now this paragraph I would like you to find some tell.

So where Beverly has explicitly described her feelings, some past tense so some verbs perhaps, which are written in the past tense and a contraction.

So a word which has got an apostrophe for contraction in it.

Pause the video while you do that.

Okay everyone.

Well done.

I'm going to show you my example of tell.

I felt uneasy.

So Beverly has very clearly told us how she felt.

How did she feel? Excellent.

She felt uneasy, now a past tense.

Some verbs, perhaps that show that this is in the past tense.

When the children returned from school, we told them the news.

So returned and told our two verbs that are in the past tense.

So showing that this happened in the past.

And finally a contraction so I can skim through it and scan for an apostrophe.

But you've got to make sure that it's an apostrophe for a contracted word.

Oh, there we go.

I'll Now what is the uncontracted version of I'll.

I'll.

Now if I took it apart again What were the two original words that this used to be? Fantastic.

I will I'll I'll I will.

And our final closing paragraph, I would like you to just find an example of present tense.

which shows that in this paragraph, Beverly is writing in the present.

Fantastic.

If you find it, give yourself some more time by pausing the video, if you still need to look.

Okay.

Here's my example, Sitting here now.

So that suffix, I N G on the verb to sit, sitting shows me that Beverly is doing this right now.

She's writing this paragraph in the present tense.

Okay everyone and that brings us to the end of today's lesson.

Well done for all your hard work.

We went through the features of diary entries, and then we applied that knowledge, which allowed us to search for examples of those features in a piece of writing.

Which is so fantastic well done.

And I'm really looking forward to our next lesson together.