Lesson video

Hi everyone and welcome to today's lesson.

My name is Miss Smith.

In the lesson today we will be planning our next writing outcome which is going to be a diary entry from Lyra's perspective.

So when you're ready, we'll get started.

Today we will start with a sentence level warm up before we review the features of a diary and make sure we're really clear on what we need to include before we begin to plan our diary outcome.

So you'll need something to write on and to write with, and make sure your brain is switched on and ready for our learning today.

If you need to press pause and go and collect any of those things, then you should do that now.

So can you write a sentence with a fronted adverbial for this image? So this is an image of Lyra we've seen this in previous lessons and she is sat on a crate at the port looking, studying the alethiometer.

Can you write a sentence with a fronted adverbial might just be thinking and reminding yourself what it means to use a fronted adverbial.

Well, it could be one word might be an adverb at the beginning of the sentence, it might be a phrase telling us when, where or how something happens in this picture, but might be a clause and there's a reminder of Mr. subordinate and Mr. Main, if your group of words contains a subject and a verb, and it tells us how, when or where something is happening, the verb is happening then, it's a clause.

So you're going to write any sentence that has a fronted adverbial.

So here's one that I've written for this image that might give you an idea and get you started.

On an abandoned crate in the bustling port Lyra studied the alethiometer closely.

Can see the main clause in the sentence, it's Lyra studied the alethiometer closely.

Before that, I have, on an abandoned crate in the bustling port.

So an adverbial phrase that fronts my sentence describing where Lyra is when she does the studying.

So can you write a sentence with an fronted adverbial for this image? Today, we are planning a diary entry.

So our next piece of writing in this unit will be a diary entry.

And so we're going to just think about the PALL below, the purpose, audience, language and layout of diary entries.

Let's just revisit the text type and think about these things.

So why is the diary written? What's the purpose for it? Who's the audience who reads a diary? What sort of language can we expect to include in our diaries? And what layout should we consider? Can you pause now, and just have a think about each of those points? So then let's look at these in turn.

We've got the purpose of a diary.

Well, it's a document, if you write a diary every day, it documents events and keeps a record for lots of people who write diaries, they are an outlet, a way of processing what's happened in the day, and helping them to work through things that are happening in their lives.

So we might describe it as an outlet in that respect.

The audience or really that's for the writer themselves very few people would write a diary for others to read, they write it as a record for themselves to look back on, and to remind themselves of the things that have happened.

language, what language would we expect to see and how would we expect the diary to be written.

Well, it's quite informal because it's written for the writer.

It can be quite informal so we might have contracted forms in our writing.

And it's in the first person, it's from the person who is completing the day's point of view.

So first person really important.

And the layout, well, it is just organised text in time order normally and in paragraphs based on the event that is happening and the time of the day that is being written about.

So including reflections and feelings are going to be important in this piece of writing.

We are going to be Lyra when we're writing this outcome, and so it's important to include how we're feeling at each point through the scene so that it brings our writing to life.

And so we need to add to our ideas for the scene.

So far, we've already completed some work in terms of thinking about verbal phrases and clauses that might link sections of the scene and now we need to add to these in our planning today.

So, we're going to break the scene into two parts.

This opening part with these three images into Lyra's in the ports on the crate and the second part of the scene where she is down the alleyway, looking for Iorek Byrnison.

And at each point, we need to make sure we're thinking about the location where she is and what she's doing.

But most importantly, really, we need to think about her feelings at this point and make sure we've included a feeling for each image in the scene.

So we'll now watch part one, the short clip and I want you to note down any ideas you have as you are writing that might help you in planning the first three parts of this scene.

Who is going to help us? Can you see anything? Lyra you're not listening to me.

That's a mighty fancy clockwork you got there.

So for those first two images, we're going to think about ideas for the first two parts of the plan together.

So you might just reflect on the video clip that we just saw and finish writing down any ideas you have in terms of description of the arrival into the port, disembarking from the ship from Lyra's points of view, remember, as well as any feelings that we might identify that she would have at this point.

Remember we're pretending or imagining that we are Lyra in this writing outcome.

So first person in your planning as well.

So pause and do that now.

Okay, so we're going to have a look at this together.

So do a bit of planning together before you do some planning your own later for the final part of this section.

So think as she comes in on the boat ideas that I had, and you can borrow, and magpie, any of these ideas onto your plan as well.

word to describe the scenery so we've she would notice if we were Lyra we would notice the impressive mountains around the boat as she arrived in, into port.

In fact, she might say that she felt dwarfed by the mountains.

They were so big and impressive around her that they always dwarfed this colossal ship.

Approaching the port a non finite opener, as the sun rose, so perhaps indicating the time of day that she's travelling to port, and then what was it like as she got off the ship? Well, feeling word she might have felt a sense of relief, because travelling on a ship for a long period of time, can be quite a tricky experience.

So she would have felt relieved to get off.

We as Lyra might feel relief.

Optimistic, so we're optimistic that we're going to be able to make progress with our quest and our mission to find Dust and hopefully we'll make progress of this port so my optimism is a bustling port.

So noting and describing the environment and the atmosphere as she gets off the boat, It's rowdy, it is loud and bustling.

Rowdy is my synonym there.

So this final image for the first part of the scene, if you want to go back and re-watch the clip that might be a good idea too.

Can you write down your ideas for this part of the scene, from Lyra's point of view.

Remember we Lyra we are writing this diary entry.

What are we doing, how are we feeling at this point in the scene.

Well done, okay.

And as always, if you see an idea as I go through some planning points here, you can steal them and add them to your plan.

So Lyra then, we have found a quiet space, you're not going to get the alethiometer out in public and so finding somewhere secluded and private in a quiet space.

Just curious alethiometer is showing a sequence sequence of symbols so she's curious and she looks at this, examined the alethiometer so I examine this because when we are Lyra first person in our planning will help us to stay in the first person in our writing.

And at this point, probably you might reflect that felt unaware of somebody looking over her shoulder she's so focused on the alethiometer, She's not aware of Lee Scoresby who's up on the up behind the wheel.

Deep in thought, lost in thought, finally surprised surprised when she's interrupted, I would have thought and surprised that he is so intrigued by the alethiometer and has an interest.

If you feel to steal any of those ideas, you might pause now and add those to your planning too.

So now we're going to think about the second part of our planning.

And let's just remind ourselves of the second section of that film clip that will help us.

And remember, we're thinking about the same things we're thinking about how we're feeling as Lyra, and where we are and what we're doing in the second part of the clip so that we can write a really accurate diary entry in character as Lyra.

Miss Lyra, I'd like to give you a word of advice.

Though I ain't an astronaut, if I was on a kind of scout that would wreck an erone I'd hire myself and aeronaut and an armoured bear An armoured bear? There's one in town, Iorek Brynison is his name.

Works at the sled depot behind an Arson's bar.

Good one to have on your side in a scrap.

Not that you're looking for that.

Iorek Byrnison Iorek Byrnison may I speak to you.

What? We want to offer you employment.

I am employed by the town's people, I mend broken machinery, I lift heavy objects.

What kind of work is that or a pantser beyond.

Paid work So your task is to plan a diary entry.

Now we looked at the first parts of this diary entry writing outcome and planning it together and we did that this lesson, and your focus now is on those second three images through the streets in the alleyway and planning Lyra's feelings particularly her actions and location at each point.

So in a moment, I want you to pause the video and plan with particular focus on feelings because remember we are Lyra, We're in rollers, Lyra and planning in the first person.

And those are really important because they will really help you when we come to write the diary outcome.

So after you have done your own planning, we're going to look through lots of ideas for these images together, you'll be able to add to so you should pause now and do those first those final three images on your own before we look at them together.

So let's have a look at these parts of the scene and review some planning and if you like, any of these ideas, and you want to steal them and add them to your plan, that would be a great thing to do as we're going through these now.

So we have market traders yelling in the streets, but of description that we will still include in our diary entry.

The streets were crowded, and Lyra we are Lyra remember, probably weaving between people in the streets.

How'd she be feeling? Well, apprehensive because for the first time ever, she is going to look for an armoured bear and she's never met an armoured bear before.

But she has a companion with her and he will be giving us some confidence.

Imagine she'll still be feeling nervous, feeling words, nervous and apprehensive, and some describing words so that we are able to write effectively for these parts of our diary.

So now let's think about those last two images where Lyra makes it to the alleyway in search of Iorek Byrnison.

My ideas, well a time phrase early in the evening with trepidation meaning, feeling quite wary and anxious, having not met an armoured bear before being removed in this new town which she's not been to.

Armoured bear is a little ashamed he is not the strong and invincible character that she imagined, He is cowering in the alleyway without his armour.

And so Lyra feels disappointed at what she has found at this point, disappointed in Iorek Byrnison.

And a great verb choice might be that he was lurking, so he's hanging around and lurking down the alleyways, is what she might think, first of all.

Lots of ideas and you might steal some of those now if you want to, to add to your plan.

And that's the end of our planning lesson today.

So sentence level warmup at the beginning, then we looked at features of a diary to prepare ourselves for this next writing outcome before planning the diary and the whole thing together, so well done.

Well done for all of your hard work and all of your fantastic planning today.

Make sure you keep your plans really safe, so that you have them handy for when we're looking at writing the diary entry later in the units.