Lesson video

Hello, my name is Miss Willow and I'm going to be your teacher for today's lesson.

Today's lesson is called Healthy Boundaries with Friends, and it fits into the unit, Healthy Relationships: Are Friendships Ever Perfect? I'm really excited to be teaching you today's lesson, so let's make a start.

By the end of today's lesson, you'll be able to explain why personal boundaries are important and why we should respect other people's boundaries.

Before we get started with today's learning, we need to go over some ground rules.

These help to make sure that everyone stays safe and comfortable throughout today's lesson.

First of all, we have Laura.

Laura says that we need to listen to others.

This means that we're not going to interrupt other people if they're speaking.

Andeep says we need to respect each other's privacy.

This means that we're not going to ask anyone any personal questions as this can make some people feel uncomfortable.

Jacob says, "No judgement ." This means if someone chooses to share a story, a feeling, or an experience, we are not going to judge them for it.

And finally, Izzy says that we can choose our level of participation.

This means it's up to us how much we want to join in.

We're now going to go through the keywords for today's learning.

These are gonna pop up quite a few times in today's lesson, so it's important that we have a good understanding of what each word means.

First of all, we have the word, boundary.

This is an imaginary line separating what we will and won't allow.

Next we have respect.

This means treating others kindly and valuing their feelings, ideas and boundaries.

For example, listening carefully and being polite even if you disagree.

And finally, our last keyword is unacceptable.

This means doing or saying something that is not okay.

As we go through today's lesson, keep an eye out for these keywords and when you spot them, see if you can remember what they mean.

Today's lesson is split into two learning cycles.

Our first learning cycle is called Why are personal boundaries so important? And our second learning cycle is called Why should we respect other people's boundaries? Let's make a start on our first learning cycle.

Why are personal boundaries so important? We all have boundaries around what we will and won't do.

Aisha tells us, "I don't hug anyone who isn't part of my family.

This helps me to feel comfortable and safe." This is a boundary that Aisha has.

Lucas's boundary says, "I feel okay being hugged by friends and family if they ask for my permission first." This means that Lucas is okay being hugged by certain people as long as they ask if it's okay first.

This is Lucas's boundary.

We can have boundaries around lots of different things.

For example, our body.

So Izzy might say, "Please don't touch my hair." This is a boundary that Izzy has and we can also have boundaries around our time.

So here, Alex says, "I don't play online games for more than one hour." This is another example of a boundary.

We can have boundaries around who we choose to be friends with and how we behave.

Sam says, "I'm not friends with people who are unkind to others or who make me feel uncomfortable." And Andeep says, "I don't go to a friend's house without my mum meeting their family first." Having personal boundaries is really important because boundaries help us to feel safe, comfortable, happy, and cared for.

Boundaries also help us to feel in control, and this is really important.

Boundaries can help us to make safe and healthy choices and they can help others to know how to make us feel comfortable too.

Let's do a check for understanding to see how you're doing with this learning cycle.

Can you decide who is correct? Jacob says, "Everyone has personal boundaries which help them to feel safe and comfortable." But Sofia says, "Only some sensitive people have personal boundaries.

Most people don't have them." Can you decide who is correct? Pause the video, tell the person next to you, tell me, or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that Jacob is correct.

Everyone has personal boundaries even if they don't realise it.

Boundaries help us to feel safe and comfortable.

Well done if you got this right.

There will often be times when we have to decide whether we say yes or no.

For example, someone might ask us, "Can I have a hug? Can I touch your hair? Do you want to come to my house?" Or "Come on, play one more game." In all of these situations, we need to decide whether we're going to say yes or no.

Our boundaries can help us to decide whether we're going to say yes or no.

Aisha says, "If someone I'm friends with asks for a hug, I say no because I know that if I hug them, I'll feel uncomfortable." Lucas says, "If a friend asks for a hug, I usually say yes because I know that I will feel comfortable." Both of these people have different boundaries around hugs.

So what their boundary is influences whether they're going to say yes or no to having a hug.

Aisha doesn't feel comfortable being hugged, so she's going to say no if someone asks for a hug.

But Lucas does feel comfortable having a hug from a friend, so he'll usually say yes.

Alex says, "If a friend asks me to play another game and I've been playing for an hour, I say no because I feel grumpy if I spend too long online.

I suggest that we play another day instead." And Andeep says, "If I get asked to go to a friend's house, I say yes as long as my mom can meet their family first." Alex is maintaining his boundary by saying no if someone asks him to play another game, which would mean that he's playing for more than an hour, and Andeep is saying yes to going to a friend's house on the condition that his mom can meet their family first.

Here, we can see how these children's boundaries are influencing whether they say yes or no.

Let's do another check for understanding to see how you're doing.

Is the statement true or false? We always have to say yes if someone asks us to do something.

What do you think? Pause the video.

Tell the person next to you, tell me, or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that this is false, but why? You might have said that we all have to decide when to say yes or when to say no.

Our boundaries can help us to decide when to say yes or when to say no.

And remember that everyone has different boundaries.

So some people might say yes or some people might say no.

Well done If you got this right.

It's time to move on to our first practise task, and you are doing a brilliant job so far.

Well done.

Can you complete each sentence to show your understanding of personal boundaries? I'm going to read out the paragraph, but there's going to be some missing words.

Can you decide which of the words from the word bank at the bottom of the screen go in which space? There might be some words that don't quite fit to, so see if you can spot them.

This is our paragraph.

Boundaries influence what we will and blank do.

We can have boundaries around lots of different things, including our blank and our time.

Having personal boundaries is important because they can help us to feel safe, blank, and happy.

They help us to make safe and blank choices and help blank people to make us feel comfortable too.

Our boundaries also help us to say blank and no.

When I've said blank, that means that that's a missing word.

Here are the words at the bottom of the screen that might fit into one of those spots.

We have should, won't, uncomfortable, healthy, body, comfortable, unhealthy, yes, and other.

Can you decide which words go in the gap? Pause the video and we'll go through some potential answers in a few minutes.

Okay, let's see what your completed paragraph should look like.

Your completed paragraph should say, boundaries influence what we will and won't do.

We can have boundaries around lots of different things, including our body and our time.

Having personal boundaries is important because they can help us to feel safe, comfortable, and happy.

They help us to make safe and healthy choices and help other people to make us feel comfortable too.

Our boundaries also help us to say yes and no.

well done if you put these words in the right place and if you spotted that the words should, uncomfortable, and unhealthy don't fit into our paragraph.

It's now time to move on to our second learning cycle and you are doing a brilliant job.

Well done.

Our next learning cycle is called Why should we respect other people's boundaries? Good friends respect each other's boundaries.

When we respect someone's boundary, we accept what they have said.

We don't make them feel bad for their boundary and we don't take it personally.

We also celebrate that they feel comfortable to set their boundary with us, rather than doing something that makes them feel uncomfortable.

We can respect other people's boundaries by offering alternatives that could make them feel more comfortable.

Here, Aisha says, "I don't hug people who aren't my family," and Laura is being a good friend.

She says, "That's okay.

Thanks for letting me know.

Maybe we could high five instead if you're comfortable with that?" Laura is offering an alternative to a hug, a high five that might make Aisha feel more comfortable.

We can respect each other's boundaries by not encouraging someone to cross their boundary.

Here, Lucas says, "I know that Alex can only play online for an hour, so I don't ask him to play for longer." And Alex says, "Lucas is a good friend because he never pushes me to cross my boundary." Let's do a check for understanding to see how you're doing with this learning cycle.

Does this conversation show someone respecting a boundary? Here we have Andeep and Sofia.

Andeep says, "I only go to a friend's house if my mom has met their family first." But Sofia says, "That's silly.

Come on, my family is great.

Just come over anyway." Does this conversation show someone respecting a boundary? What do you think? Pause the video, tell the person next to you, tell me or have a think to yourself.

well done if you said that this conversation doesn't show someone respecting a boundary, but why? You might have said that Sofia is making Andeep feel bad for having a boundary and is encouraging him to go against and cross his boundary, which is not respectful.

well done if you said this or something similar.

Ignoring someone's boundaries is unacceptable.

It can make them feel sad, unsafe, uncomfortable, and uncared for.

It's unacceptable to deliberately ignore someone's boundaries even if we have different boundaries to them or if we don't understand their boundary.

Izzy wants to ask a question.

Izzy says, "If someone does something that we don't like, does this mean that they're crossing a personal boundary?" Henry says, "Not always.

Personal boundaries only apply to things that affect us.

We can't have boundaries that control other people's behaviour if it doesn't directly affect us, even if they do something that we don't like." Having a boundary that someone does not hug us is an example of a healthy boundary because it directly affects us.

But what about this boundary? This person says, "You are not allowed to hug your other friends because it makes me feel upset." This is not a personal boundary because it tries to control someone else's behaviour and it doesn't directly affect the person saying it.

We are now going to do another check for understanding.

Can you decide which is not an example of a boundary? Here we have someone saying, "I don't play games online with people that I don't know." Someone else says, "You must play online with my friends too so that no one feels left out." Which of these is not an example of a boundary? Pause the video, tell the person next to you, tell me, or have a think to yourself.

well done if you said that the second person is not setting a boundary.

Someone saying that they want someone else to play with their online friends so that they don't feel left out is not an example of a boundary.

But why? You might have said that this is not a boundary because it tries to control other people's behaviour.

Who their friend plays with online doesn't directly affect the person speaking.

So this is not an example of a boundary.

Well done if you said the same thing.

It is time to move on to our final practise task, and you've done an amazing job, well done.

For the first part of this task, I'd like you to explain two reasons to Sofia why she should respect Andeep's boundary.

Andeep says, "I only go to a friend's house if my mom has met their family first." Can you give two reasons why Sofia should respect this? Pause the video and we'll go through some potential answers in a few minutes.

Let's see what you might have said.

You might have said that good friends respect each other's boundaries, and this is one reason that Sofia should respect Andeep's boundary.

You might have said that if Sofia respects Andeep's boundary, he'll feel happy, safe, and comfortable.

If Sofia doesn't respect Andeep's boundaries, he could feel sad, unsafe, uncomfortable, or uncared for.

And finally, you might have said that it's unacceptable to deliberately ignore someone else's boundaries.

Well done if you had any of these or if you had something similar.

For the next part of this task, I'd like you to suggest what Sofia could say to Andeep to respect his boundary.

Andeep says, I only go to a friend's house if my mom has met their family first.

What could Sofia say next to respect Andeep's boundary? Pause the video and we'll go through what you might have said in a few minutes.

Okay, let's see what you might have said.

Something that Sofia could have said to respect Andeep's boundary is, "That's okay.

Thanks for letting me know.

When I get home, I'll talk to my family and see if we can get them to meet your mum.

Until then, shall we play at the park together instead?" This is a really lovely way for Sofia to respect Andeep's boundary, as well as seeing if her family can meet Andeep's mum.

She's also suggesting an alternative that they could play at the park together instead.

Well done for being an amazing friend, Sofia.

We are now going to summarise the key learning from today's lesson.

In today's lesson, we've learned that everyone has boundaries around what they will and won't do.

We've learned that we should be able to choose what we say yes to and what we say no to, and that our boundaries can influence these decisions.

Good friends respect each other's boundaries and never ignore them.

Ignoring someone's boundaries is unacceptable because it can make them feel sad, unsafe, or uncomfortable.

And finally, we've learned that our boundary should never try to control someone else's behaviour if it does not directly affect us.

In today's lesson, you might have found you've got some questions or some worries, and it's really important that you share these with a trusted adult.

There's also some resources on the screen that are there to help you too.

Well done for your fantastic hard work in today's lesson.

I really enjoyed teaching you and I hope to see you in another lesson soon.