Lesson video

Hello, my name is Miss Growth.

Today we're going to be looking at the lesson called Changing and Ending Friendships.

This fits into the lesson unit healthy relationships.

How can I be a great friend? Now for this lesson, it is recommended that you have an adult with you before you continue watching.

Today's lesson outcome is I can explain why friendships might change, describe how to end them kindly, and how to manage the feelings that endings may bring.

Let's begin by taking a look at our ground rules together.

Laura says We should listen to others, and that means we are not going to talk or interrupt when somebody else is speaking.

Andeep says we should respect privacy.

And that means if somebody decides to share a story, we'll talk about their own experience, that we are not going to repeat it to others outside of this lesson.

Jacob says, no judgement.

And that means if somebody does decide to share a story or talk about their own experience, that we are not going to make comments or judge them because of it.

And Izzy says, choose your level of participation, and that means you can decide if you simply just want to listen or if you want to share something throughout the lesson.

All of these ground rules are here to keep everyone safe in today's lesson.

Here are today's keywords, let's read them together.

We have disagreement, resolve, and support network.

So disagreement, means when two or more people have different ideas or opinions about something.

Resolve means, to find a way to fix a problem.

And support network is the group of people that you can trust and go to when you need help, advice, or encouragement.

Let's see if we can spot these keywords throughout today's lesson.

Here is the lessons outline, and we are going to begin with why might a friendship change or end? Just like plants in the garden, friendships grow, change, and sometimes fade.

This image represents this metaphor.

For example, the gardener nurturing plants represents the kindness and care we need to show to our friendships.

These pets falling represent friendships changing or ending.

And these flowers blooming represent new friendships forming.

A friendship can change or end for lots of reasons.

For example, a friendship might change or end, because of a disagreement.

The people involved might have different opinions, and they might find it hard to agree on certain things.

When we cannot resolve a disagreement, it can lead to friendships changing or ending.

Amara says, one of my friendships ended because we disagreed when working on a group project together when we were not able to resolve our differences.

Josiah says, one of my friendships ended because we kept disagreeing on what to do at lunchtime.

We were not able to compromise or take turns, so we decided that it was better to play with other people.

Okay, time for a check for understanding.

Fill in the missing words in this sentence.

When we can't a disagreement, it can lead to friendships changing or ending.

Hmm.

What could that missing word be? When we can't, a disagreement, it can lead to friendships changing or ending.

Pause this video so you can have some time to think about your answer.

Okay, well done if you thought that a missing word was resolved.

When we can't resolve a disagreement, it can lead to a friendship changing or ending.

We don't always have to end a friendship if we experience a disagreement.

However, it's important to resolve disagreements or agree to move on to prevent long-term conflicts.

Lucas says, my friend and I had a disagreement about whether cats or dogs make better pets.

The next day we agreed that we could just have different opinions and still be friends.

Now we just laugh about our great pet debate.

We can resolve disagreements by listening to each other without interrupting the other person, by apologising if you've upset the other person.

And by finding a solution to the problem, this might mean agreeing to move on or thinking of ways to make the situation better together.

We'll often have to compromise when resolving a disagreement.

This means that both people give up a little bit of what they want so that they can find a solution that works for everyone.

Laura says, my friend and I disagreed about which game to play.

Instead of staying mad at each other, we decided to play football on Monday, and basketball on Tuesday.

Now we take turns choosing and we are still friends.

Okay, time for a check for understanding.

Tell your partner two ways how we can resolve disagreements.

Pause this video so you can have some time to think about your answer.

Okay, so you might have said, we can resolve disagreements by listening to each other without interrupting.

Apologising if we have upset the other person by compromising or by finding a solution to the problem.

Well done if your answers are similar to mine, sometimes friendships can change or end because the people involved have different values or morals.

For example, one person in the friendship might make choices or have opinions that the other person doesn't think is right.

Lucas says, morals and values are our beliefs about what is right and wrong.

They help you make good choices and treat others fairly and kindly in different situations.

Jack says, I stopped being close with my friend because they started being unkind to other people, and I didn't agree with how they were treating them.

Sophia says, my friendship changed when they wanted to copy my homework.

I didn't think it was right and it made me feel uncomfortable.

Okay, time for a check for understanding.

Tell your partner two ways a friendship might change or end.

Pause this video so you can have some time to think about your answer.

Okay, so you might have said a friendship might end or change due to unresolved disagreements and the people involved having different values or morals.

Well done if your answers were similar to mine.

Ms. Walsh says, not all friendship endings happen because someone has done something wrong.

Friendships can change naturally as people grow and develop new interests.

Ending your friendship kindly can be a healthy decision for both people.

A friendship might change or end because the people involved might have new interests or hobbies.

As they try new activities, join different clubs or enjoy different games they might spend more time with others who share those same interests.

This can mean that they don't see each other as much and their friendship can start to feel different.

This girl says, I joined a badminton club and made lots of new friends.

I slowly stopped seeing my old friends as I had more in common with my new friends.

Okay, time for a check for understanding.

True or false.

If a friendship ends, it means someone has always done something wrong or is a bad friend.

Give me a thumbs up if you think it's true.

Or a thumbs down if you think it's false.

Hmm.

If a friendship ends, it means someone has always done something wrong or is a bad friend, true or false? Pause this video so you can have some time to think about your answer.

Okay, well done if you said false.

So this statement is false because friendships can change naturally as people grow and develop new interests.

Time for a task now.

Around the image label different ways a friendship might end or change.

Pause this video so you can have some time to do the task, and then we will go through the answers together.

Okay, well done for having a go.

Your labels could look like this.

A friendship might change or end because of a disagreement.

A friendship might change or end because the people involved might have new interests and hobbies.

And a friendship can change or end because the people involved have different values and morals.

We are now going to move on to the second part of our lesson.

What ways are there to end a friendship kindly? Ending a friendship can be challenging, but there are ways to do it kindly and respectfully.

It's important to communicate your thoughts clearly and calmly, and it's often better to do this face to face.

Sometimes messages can get misunderstood or misinterpreted when they are sent on a phone or online.

We can be honest with our thoughts without saying hurtful things.

We can use I statements in communicating our thoughts to avoid blaming the other person.

For example, we could say, I've decided I, I feel.

I think that.

Okay, time for a check for understanding.

Which example shows someone ending a friendship respectfully.

The first example says, I've decided to end this friendship because we can't agree or resolve our conflict.

We've had some really fun times together, and I hope we can still be kind to each other at school.

And the second example says, you're so selfish and never want to hear my point of view.

Why would I want to be friends with someone like you? Don't talk to me again.

So, which example shows someone ending a friendship respectfully? Pause this video so you can have some time to think about your answer.

Okay, well done, if you said that, the first example shows someone ending a friendship respectfully.

Some people will need space if someone has ended a friendship with them.

And having some space away from each other is healthy as it gives you both time to think and manage your feelings.

Ms. Walsh says it's important for both people involved in the friendship to avoid gossiping about each other as this can make things worse.

If you need to talk about the situation, you can do so without criticising the person.

Okay, time for a check of understanding.

What should we avoid doing when ending a friendship? Is it A blaming the person.

B, talking to the person.

Or C, gossiping about the person? Hmm, what should we avoid doing when ending a friendship? Pause this video so you can have some time to think about your answer.

Well done if you said A and C, we should avoid blaming the person and gossiping about the person when ending a friendship.

Okay, time for a task now.

Write an example of what you could say to someone if you wanted to end a friendship because you no longer have things in common.

Pause this video so you can have some time to do the task, and then we will go through the answers together.

Okay, welcome for having a go.

Your example could look like this.

I feel like we don't have as much in common anymore, and I think it's best if we spend some time apart.

I've enjoyed the good times we've had, and I hope we can still be kind when we see each other.

We are now going to move on to the third and the final part of our lesson.

How might someone feel if a friendship ends? Friendship endings can bring on powerful emotions for both people involved, such as sadness, anxiety, frustration, anger, loneliness, and confusion.

Okay, time for a check for understanding.

Let's see if you can remember.

Name three emotions we might feel when a friendship ends.

Pause this video so you can have some time to think about your answer.

Okay, well done if you named some of these emotions on your screen now.

Sadness, anxiety, frustration, anger, loneliness, and confusion.

All of these feelings are temporary, and can be managed in healthy ways using different strategies.

We can think of these strategies like an emotional toolkit.

Some of these strategies include writing down our feelings in a journal or a diary.

Spending time with new friends, or perhaps somebody that you haven't spoken to before.

Doing something that we enjoy.

And talking to someone that you trust, like a trusted adult or a family member.

Ms. Walsh says, just like a physical toolkit, the more you practise using them, the stronger and more confident you'll become in managing tricky feelings.

Okay, time for a check for understanding.

What strategy could Jack use to help manage his feelings? Jack says, I ended my friendship with someone who was being unkind to others, but the whole situation has left me feeling anxious and upset.

So what strategy could Jack use to help manage his feelings? Pause this video so you can have some time to think about your answer.

Okay, so you might have said, Jack could manage his feelings by talking to someone he trusts, writing his feelings down, spending time with new friends, or doing something he enjoys.

Well, if your answer is similar to mine.

Having a support network matters.

A support network includes all the people that you can speak to when you need help.

Our support network might include parents or carers, siblings and relatives, teachers and friends.

Okay, time for a check for understanding.

Who might be included in our support network.

Is A strangers.

B, a celebrity.

Or C, trust their adults? Hmm.

Who might be included in our support network? Pause this video so you can have some time to think about your answer.

Okay, well done if you said, C, trusted adults.

Trusted adults might be included in our support networks.

Okay, time for a task now.

First, I would like you with your partner to create a list of the emotions someone might feel when a friendship ends.

Then I would like you to design your own emotional toolkit.

In your toolkit you need to include at least three strategies that could help you when a friendship ends.

Pause this video so you can have some time to do the tasks, and then we will go through the answers together.

Okay, well done for having a go.

So for the first part of the task, I wanted you to create a list of the emotions someone might feel when a friendship ends.

And your list could look like this, sadness, anxiety, frustration, anger, loneliness, and confusion.

Rather than if your list looks similar to mine.

And for this second part of the task, I wanted you to design your own emotional toolkit, and your toolkit could look like this.

Write down your feelings, spend time with new friends.

Do something you enjoy, and talk to someone that you trust.

Well done if your toolkit looks similar to mine.

This brings us to the end of our lesson.

Thank you for joining me today.

Here is a summary of everything that we've covered in today's lesson.

Friendships can change or end for many reasons, such as unresolved disagreements or a difference in values and morals.

Not all friendships end because someone done something wrong.

Sometimes people grow apart or develop new interests.

If we choose to end a friendship, we should do so kindly by communicating calmly, clearly, and using I statements to avoid blaming.

Disagreements don't always mean a friendship has to end.

We can often resolve them by listening, apologising, and finding solutions.

Ending a friendship can bring strong emotions, so it's important to manage these by using strategies such as talking to someone we trust, or writing down our feelings.

Here is a slide with a place that you can get support.

We have the Childline, which is a website and phone line, which is able to offer confidential advice and support.