To write the climax of a narrative

Key Stage 2

English

The Man on the Moon - Narrative Writing

﻿Hello! My name is Ms. Johnson, and I'm going to be teaching you English today. In today's lesson, we're going to write the climax of the "Man on the Moon" narrative. If you haven't completed the previous lesson, you should stop this one, and go back and watch that lesson. But if you have then I hope you've got your vocabulary ready from the previous lesson and then let's get started. I'm really excited to do our writing today. The climax is the most exciting part of a narrative. And so to start off today we're going to just review that and think about what the purpose is and what we're trying to achieve in the lesson today. And then we're going to have a go at generating our own vocabulary for the writing. Then we're going to do a write together. So a shared live write and then you're going to have a go doing your own writing. And then we're going to check our work together as well. It's always important once we've written something, you'd go back and read it afterwards. In the lesson today, you're going to need an exercise book or paper, a pencil, or a pen. It's really good if that pencil can be sharp today as you're doing writing, we need to focus on our hand writing as well. So make sure you've got a sharp pencil if you can. Don't worry if you can't. And your brain, you are the authors today, this is your writing. So you need to be actively thinking throughout the lesson. Now, because this is a writing lesson, we need to make sure our posture's correct. So I'm going to sit up in my chair and I hope you are going to do the same. Now my feet are flat on the floor and I'm going to make sure my shoulders are back and I'm going to be doing my warmup. So I'm going to pinch each of my fingers here today, you do the same, and then shake them out. And then once more, this really helps to make sure our hands are ready for our writing and then shake out. Then I'm going to single tap each finger as I go like this. Then I want you to double tap as quick as you can. I find that one really difficult. Well done. Fantastic. So we're ready to get started. We're going to think first of all about what the purpose of a climax is. This helps us to remember what our writing needs to include and what it needs to look like. So the purpose of a climax, well, it's where the conflict reaches its peak. So the conflict we'd had in the "Man on the Moon" narrative is that Lily cannot find a way to reach the man. But finally, we reached the highest point of tension and excitement because she's found a way to reach the old man. And we finally see him receiving his present. And so we need to show this excitement. We need to almost show this relief in our writing as well, building the tension, building even more, and then finally a moment of happiness at the end of the climax. And we need to pick sentence types and vocabulary to mirror our writing today, to mirror that emotion. So we're going to start the climax by showing you what Lily is doing by focusing on Lily's happy home, opening her presents in the morning. And then we're going to go back to the old man. And then we're going to see this happiness when we also realise he has got his own present as well. So we're going to start off by thinking about vocabulary. You already have a load of vocabulary from the previous lesson that you can use. And there were three words you promised you were going to use. Before we carry on though, we're going to have a go at expanding our vocabulary a little bit further, and we're going to try and add an expanded noun phrase. Expanded noun phrases are two adjectives separated by a comma describing a noun. They're separated by a comma because they're like a list of adjectives. We need the comma to separate them. And they add detail to the noun, they help us picture exactly what the noun is. So here is a phrase, a gift appeared. Now that doesn't give me much detail on the gift. If I didn't have the image in front of me, I wouldn't actually be able to picture the gift at all. So what I'd like you to do is add in two adjectives to describe the gift so that when the reader pictures this in their mind, it's really clear what that gift looks like. Be careful, make sure your two adjectives are different in meaning. So we would never say the sad, depressed man. And we would never say the colourful, bright gift, because they're just similar things you're talking about the colour. So can you now pause the video? I want you to write down one expanded noun phrase to describe the gift and press play when you're ready to resume. Well done. So I'm going to show you my examples now. I came up with these ones. I first of all thought of a colourful glistening gift. I thought it glistened, because it was almost sparkling as it comes towards me. 'Cause the wrapping paper was almost glistening. And then, because I was thinking about glistening and colourful, I thought, how about mesmerising? Mesmerising means the old man couldn't take his eyes off it. So yeah, mesmerising, mesmerising. He could only look at the gift. Now, if you've been staring into space endlessly for days on days when something else arrived, you're not going to look away, are you? So I definitely think the old man we could say was mesmerised by the gift and a sparkling gift as well. And then I landed on, at the end, a vibrant, which means colourful. It was another word, magical gift. And I really liked the idea of it being magical. It's magical because somebody has sent it to him. And that's the magic in this really is that somebody has finally reached out to him and made him very happy. And so what I'd like you to do now, is to pause the video and you can magpie one of these and then make a promise to yourself that you'll use it in the writing today. Press play when you're ready to resume. Done that? Well done. We're now going to have a go at doing a live write together. Before we do that, we must look at what our success criteria is for the climax of a narrative. So success criteria are steps that you can follow to make sure you're successful today. The ones I've chosen today are quite general targets. I want us to be using ambitious vocabulary throughout our writing today. By that, I mean, instead of picking a word like big, we might pick a word like bulging to be as ambitious as you can with your vocabulary choices, use expanded noun phrases. We're going to make sure we show how the characters are feeling. We want to build and develop the idea that the old man's emotion changes in this. And then we're going to make sure we use a range of sentence types as well. So we want to use simple sentences to speed up our writing, compound sentences with two main clauses, joined by a coordinating conjunction to add ideas together and complex sentence by a subordinate clause and a main clause to expand my ideas. So sit up straight and then we'll get started today. Okay. Let's do our live write together then. So I've started and given you a sentence to start you off. And I'm really happy if you want to copy that sentence. If you want to do your own one and that's absolutely fine as well. So I started with this sort of, to thinking about Lily in her home. Lily joyfully skipped down the stairs and looked around. Now we're going to add a sentence to show perhaps what happens when she sees the presents. So, because I want to say what happens when she sees the presents, I might use a complex sentence here. I'm going to use a subordinating conjunction, when, to join this together. So she couldn't, couldn't, could not. That means I need an apostrophe. Couldn't believe her eyes when, and there's my subordinating conjunction, my subordinate clause coming now. When she saw the big presents, I said to myself, I needed to use ambitious vocabulary. When she saw the bulging, which means they're like bursting, presents under the tree. Again, I might describe the tree actually under the twinkling tree. I'm going to set the scene as well. What's happening around her? What can she hear? This sound, I want to show she's really happy. The sound of music filled the room and the most delicious. I think it's C-I-O-U-S. That looks right. Delicious. The sh sound, we've got multiple ways of spelling that. So shh with C-I-O-U-S is one of those ways. Delicious smells wafted. That means went out from the kitchen. Why am I telling the reader this? Right now, my reader doesn't know that Lily sent the old man a present. So it's actually making us feel a little bit sad because we think, oh Lily is having a lovely time. Meanwhile, the old man's sat on his own, but actually it's a nice surprise coming for the reader. I'm going to say, as Lily, an action, so subordinate clause is good here. I'm going to show what she does as she opens a present. As Lily. Oh, let me think. As Lily opened the, can I be ambitious here? How I describe the paper, the glossy, colourful paper of her present, and here is my clue to the reader. She wondered. And this is going to link to my next paragraph. She wondered if her present had got to him. No, I think I'm going to change it and say reached him. Now, I'm going to put a stop here. I'm going to lead on to the present arriving at the old man. So actually I might change my mind. I'm going to put an ellipsis here. This shows that there's something about to happen. The ellipsis is a really effective piece of punctuation to use there. Let me check that sentence 'cause it was a complex one is sometimes I have to use a comma. As Lily opened the glossy, comma, but that comma is for my expanded noun phrase. Colourful paper for present, comma. She wondered if her present had reached him. My main clause is she wondered if her present had reached him. And my subordinate clause is as Lily opened the glossy colourful paper of a present, that doesn't make sense on its own. It's a subordinate clause marked by a comma between it and the main clause. So I've got it correct. Fantastic. What I'd like you to do now is to pause the video here and write that first paragraph about Lily skipping down the stairs and then end with a link to the old man. So you might want to use my ending, she wondered if her present had reached him, to help you sink into the next paragraph. Pause the video here, sit up straight and press play when you're ready to resume. Well done. You've written the first paragraph of the climax. Now we're going to have a go at writing the second one. Now, to speed things up a bit. I've already written my first sentence, but I'm going to read it to you and explain what I've done. So we're now switching to the old man, switching back to the moon. So meanwhile is really nice because it shows this is happening at the same time as the action that's happening with Lily. So meanwhile, comma, way up in the sky. I've located the reader out of the sky, the glum, solitary man glum, solitary man. Glum is a Mrs. Wordsmith word that I used in my previous lessons. I'm using that one because I really think it shows how he's feeling. The glum, solitary man slumped on his bench and thought about all the excitement that was happening miles below him. Now we're going to suddenly show the actions happening. Quick action, so I'm going to use, all of a sudden. It really works well here, comma. He saw something. I'm not saying he saw a vibrant present yet because I'm building the suspense. I'm making them really get excited. He saw something. It was something very bright. Still building suspense. I'm going to repeat myself once more. It was something very bright, prepare repetition, and very beautiful. What could it be? I wonder. That's what the reader is thinking, that repetition of those three simple sentences there is really effective because it really builds the pace, shows the excitement. He squinted his eyes. Squinting is like that. Trying to see closely. To focus. Then. Oh, we thought of this already. This is my expanded noun phrase to describe the gift, a vibrant, comma, magical gift drifted towards him? Towards him. I'm going to show, do some show, not tell now to show how he's feeling. It took his breath away, but he's completely overwhelmed by it. Now I'm going to do something really stylistic. I'm going to add three questions that show what the old man is feeling. Could. Oh, I have to be careful as to use, I haven't thought of my capital letter. I got so excited thinking about my questions, I forgot after a full stop, I need a capital letter. Could this really be for him? What do I need after a question? Question mark. Did. Oh, I've done it again. I got confused because it was a question mark. I still have to have a capital letter, don't I? Did somebody know he was there? No, no. That doesn't look right. Ah, there's another spelling of no and it means to know. So know, silent K. He was there. Did somebody, should I really emphasise my word now, I'm going to do something stylistic and purposeful. Because this is purposeful and stylistic, I'm allowed to do it on one word. I'm going to capitalise: finally. It's a stylistic decision. Normally I use a capital letter for the beginning of a sentence and a proper noun, but here I'm making a stylistic decision so that when I read this, I finished writing it first. When I read this question, I go, did somebody finally care about him? And it emphasises that finally. I can only do it once or twice in a piece of writing. Otherwise it's no longer purposeful, but this is a really nice, purposeful thing to add at the end. And then finally somebody cares about him. There are readers feeling excited. Everybody's feeling excited. We haven't got to the resolution, it's left in the climax. What I would like you to do now is to really enjoy writing this section. I loved enjoying this. I love this narrative so much. I want you to spend a good 10 minutes making this exciting and engaging for your reader. You may magpie some of my ideas, but do make it original and try and make it your own too. Otherwise you might as well just copy it. So be experimental. Base your ideas online, but have your own as well. So pause the video here and press play when you're ready to resume. Well done. You've now written your climax. I hope you enjoyed it. Before we finish, we just must check our writing for our success criteria. So to remind you, this was our success criteria. To use ambitious vocabulary, to show how the characters are feeling, and to use a range of sentence types. So I'm going to check my writing now for those things. So I have highlighted joyfully skipped because I think that is ambitious vocabulary. I didn't just say she went down the stairs. I have then highlighted this sentence. She couldn't believe her eyes when she saw the bulging presence under the twinkling tree, because that is a complex sentence and it's adding detail. I've also highlighted as in the open, the glossy colourful paper of her present, she wondered if her present had reached him. And that is also a complex sentence. Now, there's lots of other examples in my writing, but I'm just picking out a few for you. And then in my next section, I have highlighted glum, solitary man, because its ambitious vocabulary. And I've highlighted the sentence too. Meanwhile, way up in the sky, the glum, solitary man slumped on his bench and thought about all the excitement that was happening miles below him. The and here makes it a compound sentence. And then I've highlighted, it took his breath away as a simple sentence. And then I've highlighted finally, did somebody finally care about him? Because I thought it was really stylistic. So I think, oh, and also it took his breath away also shows how he's feeling. So I think I have achieved my success criteria for day. What I'd like you to do now is pause the video and check your writing against the success criteria, and whilst you're at it, also look out for any punctuation errors. And then press play when you're ready to resume. Well done. So today we've looked at the purpose of a climax, we've developed vocabulary. Hope you use that in your writing. We've done a write together and we've checked our writing back as well. So congratulations, you completed your lesson. Before you finish, it's really nice for us to reflect. So I'd like you to go back and circle the sentence you are most proud of, and then press pause now and press play when you're ready to resume. Congratulations. Well done. What an achievement today. I hope you enjoy the rest of your lessons, and take care.

To write the climax of a narrative

To write the climax of a narrative

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UnitEnglish / The Man on the Moon - Narrative Writing

English