Lesson video

Hello, Ms. Vincent here, for your English lesson today.

In today's lesson, we're going to continue our learning on persuasive letters.

And we're going to write the opening to our letter from Hiccup to his father, Stoick the Vast.

In our opening paragraph today, we're going to start, putting forward our convincing arguments, ready to persuade our father to let us do what we want, which is to drop out of dragon training and start a new dragon training school.

In today's lesson, you will need your plan from lesson four of this outcome.

So hopefully you have that with you.

So let's get started.

Here is our agenda for today.

We're going to start with a writing warm up.

Then we're going to move on to reviewing our plan.

So what do we need to write in our letter today? We're going to identify our success criteria.

So what's going to help us be successful in our writing.

And then we'll move on using my turn your turn to writing our opening paragraph to our letter.

In this lesson, you will need an exercise book or a piece of paper.

You will need a pencil or a pen, and you will also need your plan from lesson four from this outcome.

If there's anything that you need to go and get, then please pause the video, go up and get it, and then come back and press play and we'll start our lesson.

Great.

So hopefully we are ready to go with writing warm up.

So before we start out writing warm up, because we're about to start writing our persuasive letter, I thought it would be useful to write down and to think about the features of a persuasive letter.

Like we learnt about in lesson one, of this outcome.

So I'd like you to pause the video and have a think and write down at least three features of persuasive letters.

Do that now, please.

Fantastic.

Let's share some ideas.

I'll show you the features and perhaps you had them on your list or perhaps you can add them to your list now.

So the first feature is a formal address and sign off, which means dear so and so and from so and so at the bottom.

Formal and, and, but conjunctions.

So, a more formal way of starting our sentences using, for example, in addition or however.

Ordering conjunctions to order our evidence.

Exaggeration to really get up, or to cut across.

Evidence to backup your examples.

A relative clause, to add extra information.

Flattery, to compliment our reader.

And presumption, to show that we have confidence and hopefully give confidence to our reader as well.

If you couldn't remember any of those, please don't worry.

This is a chance to review and revisit.

And the more that we look at them, the better we'll get to know them.

Well done.

So for our writing warmup, I have written a first sentence of an opening, and I'd like you to choose more formal language to replace the underlined words.

Formal language remember, is language that makes us sound, sensible, serious, professional.

It's not the way that you might talk to a friend.

It's perhaps the way that you would write in a letter where you're trying to get the point across.

So at the moment I've written, dear father with this letter, I want to tell you that I want to quit dragon training.

I'm rubbish at killing dragons, and I don't want to go anymore.

So some of those words are fine, but perhaps not formal enough.

So I'd like you to pause the video and see if you can replace the underlined words with something more formal.

If you can't think of something for all of them, just try the ones that you can.

And when you finished, you can press play and watch and we'll share our ideas together.

There's one or two actually, apostrophes for contraction, which we practised in our previous lesson, which we need to take apart.

So we've practised that in lesson four, where we had words that had an apostrophe that we had to take back to that original words.

So pause the video, change those words, and then press play when you're ready.

Off you go.

Okay.

Let's check.

So dear father, with this letter, I want to tell you.

That's absolutely fine, to tell you, but I thought we could inform so we could be even more formal by saying, I want to inform you that I want to quit dragon training.

I thought we could be more precise than quit and we could use a very fancy word to cease.

My turn your turn, cease.

One more time.

Cease.

To cease means to stop.

So I want to cease dragon training.

I'm rubbish.

So first of all, I'm, we need to separate it.

So it becomes.

Oh, cease means stop.

So it becomes I am.

And rubbish is a way that we might describe ourselves when we're chatting to our friends, but perhaps not in a formal letter.

So perhaps something like unskilled.

So saying that we have tried, but we don't have the relevant, the needed skills.

So I'm unskilled at killing dragons.

And I don't, remember don't needs to become, say it to your screen.

Do not.

Want to is actually not a word.

It would be want to.

So let's see if we can change that.

We could have written want to or wish to.

And then I'll changed go, which was fine, to attend.

Attend means to show up and to go every single time.

So let's see if that's more formal.

Dear father, with this letter, I want to inform you that I want to cease dragon training.

I am unskilled killing dragons, and I do not wish to attend anymore.

So much more formal, much more professional.

Like we are really communicating our point clearly.

Well done.

So now let's move on to reviewing our plan before we start to write.

So in today's opening paragraph, we should aim to cover each of these points.

So we need our opening line.

Dear father, comma.

We need to explain why we are writing, quite simply right at the start of the letter.

It's important to cover that.

So I am writing to you because, or with this letter, I would like to inform you.

So getting straight to the point.

Then we need to start giving a brief overview of our reasons, which we'll go into more detail in, in paragraphs one and paragraphs two.

But in our opening paragraph, we give a brief overview of our reasons and talk about what we will cover in the letter.

And then we can finish off our opening paragraph with a little bit of flattery, a little bit of a compliment and a little bit of presumption to convince our father that he, he knows our reasons will be excellent.

There he is.

So we need to be really convincing because we need to convince that guy that, and he doesn't look very, very easy to convince.

So we've got our plan hopefully next to us for our opening paragraph.

These are my notes from the opening paragraph.

Hopefully you've got some as well.

I've got my opening line, I've got my reason for writing and I've got my explanation.

And then I need to add in a bit of flattery.

So I haven't got that in my plan.

So I'll do that when I'm writing.

So our success criteria for today.

So as always to be successful, we need our plan right next to us so that we're not trying to think of ideas on the spot, but we've got them there to help us and we can think about how to expand and improve those ideas.

We need to think about our skills for successful writing.

So making sure that we're checking for our punctuation, that we're using say, write, read.

So thinking of our sentence, writing it down and reading it to check that it's actually what we wanted to write and then going back and improving and editing our work.

Today's success criteria specifically for our opening paragraph, is to include our opening phase to start our lesson.

So dear father, and then we're going to try and use some formal language, including formal and, and, but conjunctions.

And we'll talk about those a little bit more as we're writing and have a go at using flattery.

So complimenting our father and presumption, so showing confidence that we are certain he will agree, and we know that he cares deeply about his Vikings.

So lots of confidence to give him confidence in our ideas.

So let's move on to writing our opening paragraph.

We're going to write a whole paragraph in two parts and it's going to be my turn, your turn.

So I'm going to write first and then I'll give you a chance to write.

Then I'll write the last bit and then you will write yours.

So let's start with our first paragraph.

So, for, my first few sentences, I'm going to aim to do what I've got on the left hand side of the screen.

So I'm going to aim to use my opening line.

I'm going to explain why I'm writing.

And I'm going to give a brief overview of my reasons, which I'll go into more detail about, in a future paragraph.

So, first of all, I need my opening line.

I've got that in my plan to help me.

It is dear father and both of those words, need a capital letter.

And then I need a comma and I need to go to a new line.

And I'm going to then move slightly forward before I start my next sentence.

So a little indentation to start my paragraph.

So dear father comma.

And when we write our next sentence, it will have a capital letter.

So normally after a comma, you wouldn't put a capital letter because it's not a full stop.

It's not the end of a sentence, but in letters, when we go to a new line, we use a capital letter.

So then I need to write to my father.

I need to explain to my father, straight away getting to the point, about why I am writing.

So I'm going to start my sentence with, I am writing to you because, and I'm going to look at my plan to help me.

And I've got, I do not want to continue dragon training.

I'm going to change that word, want to wish.

And my sentence is going to be, I am writing to you because I do not wish to continue dragon training.

So I need capital I, I always need a capital I for the pronoun I, when I'm writing in the first person.

So I mean I, so I am writing, remember, writing has a silent W that we can't hear, to you because.

I'm writing to you because, I do not.

Tell your screen what do you not, would be if I were using contractions, which I'm not because it's formal language.

Do not, would be? What is it? Can you tell your screen? Don't.

Fantastic.

But we don't use don't, we use do not.

So I'm writing to you because I do not wish to continue dragon training.

And you might want to end your sentence in a moment, right? I wish to cease dragon training.

That word that we learned in our word map that means to stop.

So I'm going to then use my plan again.

And it says, I cannot bring myself to kill any dragons.

And I'm going to build on that.

And I'm going to say and refuse to do so.

Refuse means, absolutely say no, no way I'm not doing that.

So I cannot bring myself to kill any dragons and refuse to do so.

I cannot, another word, I haven't used an apostrophe for contraction for, can you tell your screen what it would be, If I had used an apostrophe for contraction? Cannot becomes, three, two, one, can't.

But we're going to stick to cannot.

I cannot bring myself to kill any dragons and refuse, that word means' absolutely no way I'm I doing that.

Refuse to do so, full stop.

And I want to give even more information, about the same point, the same idea that I'm not going to do that.

So I'm going to use a formal and conjunction, and I'm going to go for the formal and conjunction, furthermore.

And after my formal and conjunction, I need a comma.

So furthermore, what else has he done? He's managed to train a dragon.

So I'm looking at my plan.

It says I've managed to train a dragon, and now know they're not as aggressive as we thought.

So furthermore, I have recently, which means it's happened not very long ago.

I have recently been able to train a dragon, I'm using my plan to help me.

That's why it's great that we put a lot into our planning lessons 'cause we can use them.

So, furthermore, I have recently been able to train a dragon and now know, so, and now know, and there's a spelling over there on my plan, so you can see it.

But this is something that in class, I often see children get confused with.

So now is N O W and know has a silent K.

And then it's got the word now after it.

It's a bit of a funny one.

So now know, and now know, what have I written in my plan? They are not as aggressive as we thought.

And I change we thought to believed.

So, and now know they are not as aggressive, aggressive means that they will hurt people very easily.

So they are now, they are, we now know they are not as aggressive as we believed, full stop.

So let me just check my last sentence.

Furthermore, comma, I have recently been able to train a dragon and now know , they are not as aggressive as we believed.

So now I'm going to build on this and I'm going to explain about my wanting to open a dragon school.

So for this reason, but because we now know that they're not as aggressive, for this reason, a causal conjunction, because of this.

For this reason I capital I, would like to open a new school where we learn to tame and train dragons.

So for this reason, I would like to open a new dragon training school or just a new training school.

Where we learn to tame and train dragons.

Actually to show that we're really, really changing the way that we treat dragons.

I'm going to say to tame and train dragons to work with us because we work together.

Because Hiccup and Toothless work together, full stop.

Let me check that last sentence.

For this reason, I would like to open a new training school where we work, where we learn, sorry, to tame and train dragons to work with us.

Okay.

Let me just reread that whole start.

Dear father, I'm writing to you because I do not wish to continue dragon training.

I cannot bring myself to kill any dragons and refuse to do so.

Furthermore, I have recently been able to train a dragon and now know they are not as aggressive as we believed.

For this reason, I would like to open a new training school where we learn to tame and train dragons to work with us.

Your time now to cover those first, three points for your opening.

Remember to start your letter with dear father with a capital letter for each point, then a comma and going to a new line, using a capital letter again.

Make sure you've got your plan right next to you.

I've included the and hand and the but hand, so that you have some ideas of formal conjunctions.

Remember to use the ones for and if you're building on with the same idea and use the one for but if you're giving an opposite idea.

Okay? You've got your success criteria there to remind you.

So pause the video, write your points.

You've got points, covering those three lines, and then press play when you're ready to move on.

Fantastic job.

Really well done.

So let's move on to the next few points for our opening paragraph.

Now for my next few sentences, I want to talk about what I'm going to cover in the letter.

And then I want to sign off with a little bit of flattery and presumption to convince my father that my reasons will be excellent.

Now I've got my plan on that, but actually we've covered everything that we've used.

I've covered everything.

I've got in my plan.

So I'm thinking of new things now.

So I want to talk about what's going to be in the letter.

So I'm going to start with in this letter, comma.

What am I going to do? So in this letter, oops, in this letter, double T, E, R, and I'm just going to, I'm not going to give him the reasons again, I'm going to say, I will explain my proposal in more detail.

A proposal is a suggestion that you put forward.

So in this letter, I will explain my proposal in more detail.

So he knows that if he continues to read, he'll get more detail about each idea.

And so I think I'm going to try and use a little bit of presumption and flattery.

So I might start with, I am confident.

What am I confident about? I'm confident that a wise man, such as him.

So such as yourself.

I am confident that wise, wise, which means intelligent.

Wise man, comma, such as yourself, I've added some information, I've put it between commas.

So, that a wise man, such as yourself, will find my reasons, and I need to think about, he's going to find my reasons valid.

Let's say he'll find them valid and worthy.

So I'm using presumption.

'Cause I'm saying, I know that you will think my ideas are correct, but I'm also using flattery.

So I'm calling him a wise man.

So I'm confident that a wise man, such as yourself, will find my reasons to be valid and worthy.

So such as yourself will find my reasons to be valid and worthy, full stop.

Let me just reread my sentences.

In this letter, I will explain my proposal in more detail.

I am confident.

I'm confident that a wise man, such as yourself, will find my reasons to be valid and worthy.

And we're not going to sign off, saying from Hiccup because remember this is just, the first paragraph and in lessons, eight, nine, and 10, we're going to write the next three paragraphs.

And only at the end of lesson 10 where we write from Hiccup because we're writing a whole matter, over lots of lessons.

Okay? Your turn now, to finish off your opening paragraph.

So give it an overview of what you're going to talk about in your next few paragraphs.

An overview, remember, just means a summary.

So talking about what's coming and then perhaps you can sign off with a little bit of flattery, a little bit of complimenting your father and a little bit of presumptions, of being very confident to convince your father that your reasons will be excellent.

You've got your and and but hands there.

If you need them with all your formal conjunctions and you've got your success criteria.

So now, don't worry at all about success criteria.

Number one, because we use that in our previous bits of writing.

That was right at the start of our letter.

So your turn, pause the video, write your finishing sentences and then press play when you're ready to move on.

Excellent.

Okay, well done.

So now let's read our whole piece of writing through in one go.

Dear father, I'm writing to you because I do not wish to continue dragon training.

I cannot bring myself to kill any dragons and refuse to do so.

Furthermore, I have recently been able to train a dragon and now know they are not as aggressive as we believed.

For this reason, I would like to open a new training school where we learn to tame and train dragons to work with us.

In this letter, I will explain my proposal in more detail.

I'm confident that a wise man, such as yourself will find my reasons to be valid and worthy.

Okay.

Pause the video and read your opening paragraph out loud.

Really well done.

I hope that you enjoyed listening to your opening paragraph.

So those are all of the sections of our lesson complete today.

Really well done for your hard work, Hold onto your plan because over the next few lessons, over lesson eight, nine and 10, we're going to writing the rest of a persuasive letter.

So really fantastic job.

Well done for all of your hard work.

If you'd like to, please share your work with the parent or carer, and I will see you soon for another lesson on how to train your dragon.

Bye.