Lesson video

Hello everyone.

My name is Miss Weerasekera and welcome to lesson seven in our units about the story, "The Little Bird and the Forest Fire." In our last lesson, we were boxing up the middle of our story.

And in today's lesson, we're going to look at a different story and the middle of it to see how that author built drama for their readers, and to see if we can magpie any of the ideas to use on our own as we write in the rest of the unit.

I've been thinking today about how long it's been since I have been to the seaside or to the beach.

Perhaps some of you live near a beach, or perhaps you live quite far away from a beach like me.

When I go to the beach, I love to listen to the sounds of the waves.

I like to put my feet in the sand.

I feel the sand between my toes, and I like to collect lots of little shells.

Can you remember a time when you've been to the beach or seen a picture of the beach or read about the beach? What did you think? In today's lesson, you're going to need a piece of paper and a pencil and your amazing brain to really analyse and think deeply about the middle of this other story and how we can use ideas for it for our own.

If you don't have a pen or pencil or a piece of paper, pause the video here, go and get it, and then press play when you're ready to continue.

We're going to start with a game today, and I love this game.

It's a really good one.

It's called Time Telling.

Then we're going to do a strategy check to remember how we read really confidently so that we can use ideas from what we have read.

We're then going to listen to the middle of another story.

Then we're going to dig deeper into dramatic middles, what that middle does, and how we can use those ideas in our own writing.

So let's start off with our Time Telling game.

I'm going to read you two different short paragraphs, and each of them have been written with a different pace.

One of them has been written to be quick and exciting, and the other one's supposed to be slow and relaxed.

I want you to guess which one is which, and then we're also going to consider what did the author do in their writing to make us feel that sense of quick time or slow time.

Okay.

Here's the first one.

As the sun sunk low in the sky, the seconds felt like hours.

She watched as a deer ambled past, stopping to munch some grass before carrying on.

A fly buzzed lazily around her head, and she noticed the steady, calm beat of her heart.

Do you think that was fast or slow? I agree.

It was slow.

Wasn't it? And what do we think the author did to make us feel like it was slow? Things like seconds felt like hours.

Yeah, so really pulling and stretching out that time.

Telling us how slowly it felt for the person in the story.

I also think the way the character is observing everything around them, and they're very still themselves.

And that makes time slow down when you're able to sit and notice the deer, notice the sun and the sky, notice a fly.

That means you're quite calm and relaxed.

Doesn't it? And you're not moving or doing anything quickly.

When you're in a rush, you don't tend to notice those things because you're just focused on what you're trying to do.

I also think the adjectives and verbs and adverbs you used are all quite slow.

Yeah? Ambled, sunk, stopping, lazily.

None of them are quick or rapid or pacey adjectives, verbs, or adverbs, are they? The steady, calm beat of her heart.

Those adjectives are slow and relaxing, aren't they? So this all has done a huge amount.

We've also used quite long, elongated sentences that take a while to read.

So there's a lot going on there, and there's definitely some ideas we can steal.

Okay, let's listen to this one now.

The bear was running at her heels now.

Sprinting, running, tumbling.

She tore through the forest at what felt like a million miles an hour.

Her breathing was fast and ragged, and her rapid, thumping heart felt like it might burst out of her chest.

Do you think that one had a quick pace or a slow pace? I agree.

It was a quick pace, wasn't it? Let's think about what the author did.

The fact that she is running.

Okay, so the main character, themself, is in a rush and moving.

She's not really noticing anything around her.

So she tore through the forest.

So again, that verb is quick, isn't it? Things like sprinting, tumbling, running, they're all quick and rapid movements.

This time her breathing was fast and ragged, and her heart felt was thumping and rapid.

Okay, quite different to the description on the previous one as steady, calm heartbeat.

It's very different, isn't it? To a heartbeat that feels like it's going to burst out your chest.

The character also describes that it felt like a million miles an hour.

So describing how that time felt for the character can communicate it to our audience as well.

Because in this one, seconds felt like hours, and this one felt like a million miles an hour.

So we can share how the time feels for the characters in the story.

We've also used short sentences to really speed up how you read it.

Sprinting.

Running.

Tumbling, okay? So there's so much that we can do in our middle when we want to create a fast, exciting moment and then a slower moment, perhaps full of suspense or a relaxed moment, okay? We have the power now that we read these, we know what to do.

Now, I would like you to have a go at using some of those things yourself just quickly.

You can do it written down if you would like, or if you'd prefer just to say it.

That's absolutely fine.

I'm going to give you two scenarios.

One that I would like you to write in a slow style, and one that I would like you to write in a quick style.

So the first one is you're in your last lesson at school and waiting for it to be home time, okay? So just imagine, you sat there like this.

What can you hear? Use your senses.

This time if you're still, remember, really describe what's around you.

Maybe you're staring at the clock watching the second hand tick by okay and those long, slow sentences.

There's calm adjectives and verbs and adverbs.

Okay.

It's all about being slow? How does that character feel in that moment? Then the next one is rushing to catch a plane to go on holiday.

So this is going to be a bit like the bear one.

Maybe you're running.

So there's lots of quick verbs and adverbs.

Thinking about how the heart is feeling, and your breath is feeling.

How does time feel? How are you? Are you panicked and worried rather than calm? Okay.

So have a go at either writing or saying those two scenarios and trying to create a sense of time going slow and time going quickly.

Pause here.

Have a go at that and then press play when you have done it.

Oh my goodness.

You are a fantastic time teller.

You are going to need to use those skills in this lesson but also in the rest of our unit and probably in your writing forever.

So let's recap our toolkit on middles that build drama before we read our new middle.

So to build drama, we can add a new events and setbacks.

And a setback is basically if a character was going along and everything's going their way, a setback is when something negative happens, and it might push them back or be a problem that prevents them from doing what they want to do, okay? So if we in our middle, if we keep adding the events and setbacks, okay, it makes it quite dramatic and exciting because I can't just go from A to B.

They have to wiggle around to get there.

And that makes it a more interesting journey.

We can slow down time to build our anticipation.

To build up anticipation just like we heard in those stories before we know those techniques, we can use those long sentences.

They're slow of verbs, adjectives, and adverbs, okay? We can use those to help us.

We can use vagueness, hinting, and empty words.

So if we don't want to describe or something as straight away, we can use it in something to create a sense of mystery and questions that build suspense, okay? So rhetorical questions that the characters can be asking themselves when they're not sure what's going on.

Building onto that, we can use the uncertainty of the character themselves so we can share just like a notice how the character is feeling.

And if they're feeling panicked and worried and nervous, then it will help the reader to feel those emotions too.

So you have to make sure that we share, and we use our show, don't tell to really create that sense of urgency and drama.

We're going to be reading a new bit today.

They're going to be reading a new middle today, and I want you to think about how these different parts of the toolkit are used.

Make sure you're watching what I'm doing.

And also listening really carefully to the story.

You can also follow along with your finger if that makes it easier for you.

Let's listen to the middle of this story.

Now in this story, it's just a middle by itself.

I'm not going to tell you the context or the beginning and the end because you can really create a sense of drama just with this chunk of the middle, okay? So we can have a think about what might have happened before and afterwards as well just based on the exciting events that we're about to read.

So.

Kevin zipped up the tent flap, and we chatted for a while.

I could just see my watch hands giving off a strange, green glow.

It was creeping towards 10 o'clock.

Kevin had just told me a joke about a man with a dog that wore shoes when we first heard it.

A strange scratching noise was coming from just outside the tent.

We froze.

What on earth could it be? Then it came again.

Something or somebody was moving along the side of the tent towards the entrance.

It was making a scraping noise like somebody's last rasping breath.

There was no escape.

All we could do was lie there waiting.

Terrified, both of us ducked our heads deep into our sleeping bags and waited.

I could feel my heart thumping.

Oh my goodness.

So scary, isn't it? And I'm so impressed with how that author created that sense of drama, anticipation, and suspense, and mystery about what was going to happen and about what was making that horrible sound.

So we're going to go through and think about how the author used our toolkit here to create a sense of drama in this middle, okay? So we're thinking about those.

Are there lots of events and setbacks? Have they slowed down time? Did they use vagueness? Did they use questions? Did they use the uncertainty of the character's own emotions? And did they not know what's going on either? So I've got a little bit of a key here just to explain it.

So I've put our toolkit at the top pretty small.

So slowing time, when they've done that, I've highlighted in green.

When they showed uncertainty in that purple colour.

Anything vague using it or something or questions, I've used yellow.

And when there's setbacks, put them in blue.

So in green, I've put it was creeping towards 10 o'clock.

So we've had a look at his clock hands and the word creeping means it's moving really slowly.

Okay.

So that's slowing down time.

Another time that he slows down time is when he says we froze, okay? So imagine a time just standing still.

If you're not doing anything, then time moves really slowly.

And an uncertainty, I've put a strange scratching noise was coming from just outside the tent, okay? It doesn't go into detail.

It doesn't tell us what it is really does.

Just that it's a scratching noise and using that word, that word strange makes it seem like we don't know what it is.

It's not something normal that they normally hear.

We've then got in yellow that vagueness that you sort of we heard it.

They haven't told us what it is.

It means it could be anything.

And that question at the end, what on earth could it be, okay? We have no idea.

Not even a clue what is making that noise.

In this one, we've got that uncertainty again.

Then it came again.

Something or somebody.

We don't even know if it's a person or an animal, okay? And again, somebody's last rasping breath.

They're creating this real sense of mystery around whatever is creating this noise.

This idea that there was no escape.

That's a real setback, isn't it? In the story if they were in their tent and they could just escape out the back and run away, then this bit would be over.

But they feel trapped, and that's a setback.

They can't get away from it.

The slowing down time is, again, all we could do was lie there, waiting.

Slows down time there.

Just waiting for something, it's very slow.

And also that I could feel my heart thumping, okay? So they can hear , they're so still, and the time is moving so slowly that he can just hear his heart and that's it.

Okay, so they've used those different things from the toolkit over and over again to create the sense of drama and anticipation and to basically make it a little bit scary for us.

Now, I want you to imagine that you are at home and suddenly all of the lights go out, and it's pitch black, okay? So we're just pretending.

So you don't need to be scared.

We're going to use that toolkit to try and write a few sentences about this scenario that create drama and suspense, just like they did in that bit, okay? So you've got to slow down time.

We're going to create some uncertainty.

We don't know what's happening.

I'm going to ask some questions.

You might use it or something.

We might have some setbacks that happen.

Okay.

I'm going to model a few sentences for you, and then you're going to have a go at creating your own slow, tense, dramatic middle scene about the lights going off in the house.

Okay.

I'm going to write my unit and my lesson number and my learning objective first.

So we are in unit 16, lesson seven and our learning objective is to explore how a writer creates drama.

Okay, fantastic.

So our scenario is about we're at home and the lights went out.

So I'm going to start straight away with that in the middle of the action.

So all of a sudden the lights went out.

I could see nothing.

I would ask the question that one sets it.

I wonder why that happened.

I am the only person in the house so it must be someone.

So remember vagueness or something I don't know.

Then I heard a thump on the roof.

I held my breath waiting for the next sound.

But nothing came.

Okay, so held my breath.

I waiting.

All of those things are slowing down time, but nothing came.

I could hear my alarm clock ticking slowly.

My heart was beating.

So now I'm going to change the pace of beating fast.

Okay.

So I've tried to use a range of different things.

I've kind of used questions.

I've used uncertainty.

I've slowed down time.

All of those different things in our toolkit.

Right, time for you to have a go at writing yours.

You can map my ideas.

Reminder, that's absolutely fine, but I would love for you to use some of your own creativity as well.

Perhaps there's something else that made the lights go out or perhaps something else happens in your story.

I would love to see what you wrote today for your dramatic middle.

If you would like to share it with me, please put it on Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter.

You can tag Oak National and use the hashtag, Learn with Oak.

In our next lesson, we're going to use our boxing up from lesson six and all of the amazing ideas we found today to start writing the middle of our story in a very dramatic style.

I hope to see you in the next lesson.